Chapter V
From The Shadow Exploded (p. 20)
Becky stared out the window; she could hear Momma talking to Mrs. Snell, just a few blocks down the street.
"Oh, hello, Mrs. White," said Mrs. White.
"Hello, Mrs. Snell," she said, smiling. "How's the doctor?"
"Fine, thank you."
"And your daughter?"
"Sue's just fine. Won't you come in?"
"Oh, how kind!" Mrs. White entered.
"I believe Carrie is in some of Sue's classes."
"Yes."
"Perhaps she'd like to come over and visit sometime."
"I'm here on the Lord's Work, spreading the Gospel through the Salvation of Blood of Jesus," she said.
"Yes, of course," said Mrs. Snell, her voice trying to be positive as if though resisting concern.
"Wait! I think this would interest you and the doctor. 'The Teenagers Path of the Cross Through the Salvation of Jesus.'" She handed Mrs. Snell a book.
She looked at the book and her face fell with disgust. "Oh, I don't Sue would be too interested," she said.
"Children are wandering through the wilderness of sin these days," she said.
"My Sue is a good girl," her voice was now bothered.
"These are godless times, Mrs. Snell," said Momma.
"I'll drink to that," said Mrs. Snell, smiling. She suddenly stopped, realizing what she had said.
(shut up, momma! dark times are what you're living in! you live in the fuckin' dark ages...just shut up! you are an embarrassment to the human race...just shut the fuck up!)
Phone rang. Mrs. Snell answered it and Momma looking for a verse in the Bible.
"I'm sorry, Betty. I'll have to call you back. Margaret White is here. Yes...I know. I'll get rid of her. Bye."
"I think you'd like to hear this..." Momma said, then opened her mouth to say her verse from the Bible.
"Mrs. White," Mrs. Snell, interrupted, desperate to get rid of the crazy woman. "I'd like to contribute five...ten dollars."
"I see," said Mrs. White, disappointed she didn't get to read her verse. She opened her poor box and Mrs. Snell put ten dollars in. Mrs. Snell showed her to the door. "I pray you find Jesus," said Momma.
She walked out the door.
~
Momma was coming home. Carrie watched as Momma came up the walk, and her belly trembled and Becky sat on her bed, staring at the wall blankly.
The White bungalow was a simple house, painted white, but it was more of a faded grey because it showed signs that it hadn't been washed in years with two floors: the first floor and the attic where Carrie and Becky slept and the bathroom. The curtains were always drawn, refusing light into the house, making the house dark.
Let's go inside the White house, shall we? The kitchen was small with a single table with a sink, a cutting board and sets of green cabinets with a single light hanging from the ceiling that could be flicked on with a switch near the entrance. The floor was white and tiled. Just a few inches near the refrigerator was a little broom closet.
The dining room, next door to the kitchen, had three straight-backed chairs: Momma sat at the head of the table, closest to the living room and Carrie sat on the other end of the table with Becky on her left. Hanging on the wall was a magnificent tapestry of DaVinci's panting of The Last Supper with candles that would be lit, making it seem like you were actually there at the Last Supper with Jesus in the middle and the Twelve Apostles surrounding him, questioning about what he said. The telephone was just
As for the living room, there was just two straight-backed chairs, one was a near a sewing machine with a light where sometimes Carrie or Momma made dresses and the other was a rocking chair where Momma often sat and crocheted doilies while she listened to the radio while the girls sat on the floor on the faded, threadbare rug. There was no television; Momma believed that television was a sin.
The girls' room was just up a flight of narrow, twisted stairs that was in an attic. There were mannequins, some old materials, threads, books, and lots of other things in unopened boxes. The girls' room was tiny: Becky and Carrie's beds were tiny; Becky slept near the window while Carrie slept adjacent to Becky, near the wall. Their room was decorated with a drawing of Jesus wearing a crown of thorns above Carrie's bed and a porcelain statue of the Virgin Mary on the dresser that Becky had decorated with candles and roses around. She wore a veil over her head and a handkerchief, which served as a robe over her shoulders. Becky loved Mary and always wanted her as a mother; she was the only person she prayed to.
"If Momma can't love me like a real mother," Becky once said to Carrie. "Mary will be my mother. She loves me even if I'm a sickly, ugly girl with black eyes."
The bathroom was just near the stairs, opposite from the girls' room. The floor was tile white with a white rug near the white porcelain bathtub that had clawed feet and an old-fashioned faucet and plug. There was no shower; Momma said showers were sinful.
As for the rest of the house, it was decorated with nothing but religious pictures: ones with the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and a few saints. Carrie's favorite was the one in the living room where Jesus leading lambs on a smooth, green hill, making it seem so peaceful. Becky's favorite was the one of Saint Anne, the mother of the Virgin Mary with the little embryo of Mary inside her, both of them praying. The others were frightening: one where Jesus driving the moneychangers out of the temple, Moses casting down the Ten Commandments at the worshippers of the golden calf, and doubting Thomas, thrusting his fingers inside the side wound of Jesus (that one frightened the girls, giving them chilling sensations of pain and horror), Noah's ark floating above while the sinners drowned outside, and the murder of the baby boys of Egypt's slaves while baby Moses escapes down the Nile and of the baby boys in Jerusalem while Mary, Joseph and the Infant Jesus flee to Egypt.
Momma was a very big woman, her legs had begun to swell and her feet seemed on the point of overflowing her shoes. Her eyes were sky blue and her blonde hair hung loose. She always carried a black satchel purse and in it was her change purse and a large King James Bible (also black) with her name stamped on the front in gold. The hands were unpolished with a gold wedding band on her left ring finger and the breasts were large, yet covered. She wore a black cloth cloak with a matching dress, coming to the calves with a little Sacred Heart of Jesus sewn on the breast pocket and little droplets of blood leaking (Becky remembered tracing that little heart with a finger while sitting on Momma's lap as she read a verse from the Bible).
"Momma, what's that?" five-year-old Becky asked, tracing that little heart.
"It's the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Rebecca," said Momma softly.
"Why is it bleeding Momma?"
"Because, Rebecca, our Lord was pierced with a spear when he died on the cross."
"But why is it on fire?"
"Because our Lord has eternal love for all of us, Rebecca."
"Does Jesus love me, Momma?"
"If you pray to Him, He'll love you even more."
Momma opened the door and walked stolidly in. Soon the telephone rang.
"Yes?" she answered. "Yes?" Soon, she was silent.
Becky and Carrie came down the stairs; Becky could hear Miss Collins' voice on the other line:
"Carrie had her first period. We sent her home early today. Becky explained to her what menstruation was."
Becky could see her eyes turn round with shock.
[Wicked, poisonous girl!] Momma thought.
"Thank you," she said quietly. She soon hung up the phone and turned towards the door where Becky and Carrie were listening.
"I know you're listening, girls," she said softly up the stairs. "Come on down."
She turned towards the table and took out one of her books from her satchel on the table.
"Momma, who was that?" said Carrie. "Who called?"
"You're a woman, now," she said softly to Carrie. Then, to Becky, "And you are a poisonous flower."
But why did Momma call her a 'poisonous flower'? What did she ever do? She knew Momma never favored her, but she always was the scapegoat of the White family, blamed for every little sin that she probably never even done.
Becky saw her sister's face twist and crumpling, trying to resist crying.
"Why didn't you tell me, Momma?" she sobbed.
Momma walked towards Carrie first, and now her hand flashed with sudden speed. It was hard, laundry-calloused and muscled. It struck Carrie backhand across the jaw. Then, she slapped Becky, only harder. Both fell at her feet.
"Jesus Christ, Momma, what the hell did I do?" Becky sobbed; her voice was high like a frightened child alone in the dark.
Momma opened a book, titled 'THE BOOK OF SINS', turning it to the chapter, titled: 'SINS OF WOMAN'.
"And God made Eve from the rib of Adam," Momma said, reading from the book. "And Eve was weak and loose the raven on the world. And the raven was called Sin. Say it, woman."
"No, Momma..." said Carrie.
"Momma, what did I do? I didn't do anything!" Becky sobbed.
"You poisoned your sister. You've taught her filth!" She hit Becky in the face with the book. To Carrie she said, "And the raven was called Sin...say it, woman?"
"No, Momma..."
Hit with the book again.
"And the raven was called Sin."
"And-and the raven was called Sin," the girls repeated.
"And the first sin was Intercourse...say it."
"I didn't sin, Momma."
"First sin was Intercourse, first sin was Intercourse...say it!" She hit Carrie with the book.
"Momma, God wanted us to have sex so we could..." Becky began.
"Silence, you wicked child!" The spine of the book thumped Becky's skull and she screamed in pain. "And the first sin was Intercourse...say it, girls!"
"And the first sin was Intercourse," Carrie and Becky sobbed.
"Oh, Momma... I was so scared!" Carrie sobbed. "I thought I was dying! And all the girls laughed at me and threw things at me. But, Becky saved me, she..."
"And Eve was weak. Say it, woman."
"No, Momma...please help me!" Hit again with the book.
"Eve was weak, Eve was weak, Eve was weak...Say it, woman!" her hand shook the book after every syllable.
"No, Momma!"
"Eve was weak! Say it!"
Carrie sobbed. "Eve was weak. Eve was weak."
"And the Lord visited Eve with a Curse, the Curse of Blood..." Her eyes glanced up at the heavens in a zealous manner.
"Momma," Becky began, "it's not a curse. It's a normal bodily function... " She was slapped again, but she ignored it and kept talking. "Momma, you are just misunderstood," Becky began to explain. "You're just messing the whole..."
She got kicked hard in the thigh; the heat jumped about five degrees from normal. "Do not speak, spawn of Satan!" said Momma. "You are the fruit of all evil, a child of corruption, the princess of poison and darkness, Jezebel, Herodias, Salome, Satan's own daughter..."
The temperature began to rise to 100 degrees as it read on the kitchen thermometer.
"Momma, stop calling me that!" Becky said.
"Bow your heads!" said Momma. "Let us pray."
"You should've told me!" Carrie cried.
Momma fell to her knees, grabbing both Carrie and Becky's wrists.
"O Lord," Momma exclaimed loudly, her head thrown back, looking at the ceiling, full of zeal, "help these sinning women beside me see their sins of their days and ways. Show them that if they remained sinless, the Curse of Blood would have never come on them. They may have had committed the Sin of Lustful Thoughts and tempted by the Antichrist. Show them your kind, vengeful hand at work..."
"No!" the girls screeched simultaneously. "No, Momma!"
"...And your Sign that they must walk the straight path from here on out if they are to avoid the agonies of the Eternal Pit. Am..."
"Oh, Lord," said Becky, interrupting loudly, "make this fuckin' cunt shut the fuck up and push her into Satan's black door into his world of madness."
Becky got slapped again. "SIN!" she screeched.
"Momma, we didn't do anything," Carrie said.
"Don't lie to me, Carrietta. I can see inside you two. I can see the sin in you and your sister's eyes. We'll pray."
She grabbed her daughters by the wrists, dragged them across the kitchen floor, towards the closet.
"No!" the girls screamed as they were being dragged. The thermometer read 105 degrees, the water in the sink boiled, and sweat began to trickle from their temples.
"Pray, women, for forgiveness for your sins to Jesus!"
"No! Momma!" screamed the girls, kicking madly and writhing their bodies like fish. "Momma! NO! NO!"
She dragged her daughters into the closet. The door slammed and the dead bolt locked in place.
"And the Lord visited Eve with a second Curse, the Curse of Childbearing, and Eve brought forth Cain in sweat and blood," said Momma over their screaming. "Genesis 3,16."
"Momma! Let me out!" Carrie and Becky screamed in unison, pounding. Becky's screams the loudest; hers was equivalent to a child screaming in the dark, and her pounding was harder. The temperature rose even more...now it was 109.
They were alone with Momma's angry God.
The closet was more suited for a broom closet; it was small and a bit narrow. There was a small alter with a candle on the left side of the corpus of Jesus nailed to the wall, pierced with arrows, in a grotesque, muscle-straining agony of pain with a mouth in a wide open groaning, the eyes staring in slanted agony at the girls. But the blood...oh the blood was drenched over, from Jesus' hands, feet and chest where the arrows pierced His Body. Becky hated that crucifix...it frightened her, especially at night. She had nightmares about Jesus, just staring at her with those eyes, sometimes even calling her in the darkness...
(paranoia)
Carrie lit the candle and got on her knees next to Becky. She heard her sister saying the Lord's Prayer, sniffling and trembling. Becky couldn't bear to look at that horrible crucifix: those eyes just staring at her, giving her a chilling sensation of paranoia creeping up her spine.
(those eyes are staring at me, those horrible eyes staring...stop staring at me)
Becky's face was bruised, sweaty, and bloody. Her hair was scattered all over, she could taste the combination of snot on her wet lips, and her eyes were red, glittering with tears with anger and hate, which was as intense as the heat that rose. Blood pulsed in her head hard and her nerves screamed angrily and loudly inside her head. She looked at Carrie; also very beat up, hair scattered, sweaty, and teary-eyed.
(no! I won't do it again! I swore! I swore to carrie that I would never start another fire again! back off...back off...back off...)
Slowly, the temperature dropped to normal.
"I can't stand it anymore," Becky wept, wiping her bloody nose. "I will ask God to give me the courage to die."
"Becky," said Carrie, sniffling. "Stop talking nonsense."
"I'm not...I'm serious." Her voice did sound serious. She knelt down and said, "Lord, give me the strength and courage to die. Take me away from this Hell I'm living...take me away! Just take me away!" She reached to skirt pocket and pulled out a razor blade from the razor.
"NO!" said Carrie. "Don't, Beck!"
"Goodbye, Carrie," said Becky, sobbing. "It's been wonderful having a sister like you. I will see you in the end."
Slowly, she flexed her pale hand, making a slow hesitant slice, just above her tattoo; first there was a stinging pain and then the blood. It bled slowly from her vein from her tattooed wrist, bringing a chilling sensation up her spine as the red liquid seeped through the slice wounds. She was about to cut again, only a little more quicker, then Carrie slapped Becky hard across the face; the razor fell out of her hand and it was stained with scarlet blood. Becky cupped her bruised face; more tears fell from her melancholic ebony orbs.
"Stop it, Beck!" screamed Carrie. "Stay with me! Pray with me!" She grabbed her sister's bleeding wrist; her hands could feel the hot blood flowing on her hands.
"I'm sorry, Carrie!" sobbed Becky, miserably. "I'm so stupid! I'm glad you stopped me! I'm really glad you stopped me!"
They hugged each other tightly, both crying. The blood from Becky's wrist smeared in Carrie's hair and soaked the back of her shirt. Carrie wrapped her bleeding sister's wrist tightly with her handkerchief to stop the bleeding; the scarlet blood seeped through the cotton.
"I'll stay," sobbed Becky, miserably. "But why doesn't God hear me? He ignores me... He wants me to be miserable..."
"Stop it, Beck! Just pray with me."
"I can't...I just can't."
"Just try, Beck. Please. Pray to Mary, she'll help you."
"All right...I'll try."
Six hours later, the girls came out of the closet. Momma was at her sewing machine, sewing yards of material.
"Thank you, Momma," said Carrie, quietly.
"You can go to bed now, girls," she said, not looking at them.
Becky watched her sister lean over and kiss Momma on the cheek.
(I'd like to burn that nice, smooth cheek of yours, momma. turn that pale creamy cheek of yours charred black...hear you scream when you're lit up...)
Becky reluctantly she kissed her on the cheek; it was smooth and warm as she remembered.
"Slut!" she hissed in her ear quietly.
Momma looked at Becky with wide eyes, watching her youngest walk up the stairs following her sister. The two girls slipped into their nightgowns and crawled into bed. Carrie turned the light off.
"Carrie?" said Becky's voice, trembling.
"What?"
"Let's be soul sisters."
"What do soul sisters do?"
"They stay together forever."
"I'll stay with you."
"Me too. Forever and ever."
From The Flame Ignited (p. 16)
Becky was lying in bed, but she couldn't sleep...she looked at the clock next to her bed. 10:20 it read. All she could think of was the push...the push that made heat and fire. She lay on her flat pillow, staring at the wall, hearing those voices: the laughter of students and Momma's angry, fanatical voice echoed. She turned over, seeing the glass of water on the table near her bed.
She looked at a glass of water on the table, concentrating; the room got hotter and her temperature jumped to 103 degrees. Her eyes became tiny slits with black dots as she concentrated; the glass trembled...the water began to simmer, the glass fogged.
(push... push... concentrate, beck, concentrate...make the water hot...)
"He's got the power, washed in the blood of the Lamb..." Momma's voice sang, echoing in Becky's head...her brain ached with a headache.
Now, steam came from the glass and it began to bubble slowly. Now, the bubbles increased, like a pot of boiling water and the fog and steam increased. The glass began to overflow with hot water and tremble as it boiled. Becky was sweaty, trembling, and hot inside. Her eyes burned, her blood scalding hot, her brain on fire, her heart racing, and her mouth tasted dry and cottony. Now she wanted the push to go away. How did she do it last time?
(back off, back off, back off)
The water began to slow down, yet the glass still trembled and the steam was still there. Soon, the glass burst into pieces...Carrie awoke with a start, hearing the glass shatter.
(shit! too hot!)
"Rebecca? Carrie?" Becky heard Momma say from downstairs. She heard her footsteps coming up the stairs. Becky could sense Momma grabbing the doorknob and pulling on it.
"Carrie? Rebecca?" she said, rattling the door. "Open the door."
"It's open, Momma," said Becky.
(go to sleep, carrie...you never heard the noise.)
Carrie rolled onto her side, pretending to sleep.
Momma opened the door, her face looked suspicious at Becky.
"What was that noise?" she asked.
"What noise?" Becky said.
"Go to sleep, Rebecca."
"Yes ma'am," Becky said quietly.
As Becky laid her head down, she found her pillow was soaking wet...
From The Shadow Exploded (p. 20)
Becky stared out the window; she could hear Momma talking to Mrs. Snell, just a few blocks down the street.
"Oh, hello, Mrs. White," said Mrs. White.
"Hello, Mrs. Snell," she said, smiling. "How's the doctor?"
"Fine, thank you."
"And your daughter?"
"Sue's just fine. Won't you come in?"
"Oh, how kind!" Mrs. White entered.
"I believe Carrie is in some of Sue's classes."
"Yes."
"Perhaps she'd like to come over and visit sometime."
"I'm here on the Lord's Work, spreading the Gospel through the Salvation of Blood of Jesus," she said.
"Yes, of course," said Mrs. Snell, her voice trying to be positive as if though resisting concern.
"Wait! I think this would interest you and the doctor. 'The Teenagers Path of the Cross Through the Salvation of Jesus.'" She handed Mrs. Snell a book.
She looked at the book and her face fell with disgust. "Oh, I don't Sue would be too interested," she said.
"Children are wandering through the wilderness of sin these days," she said.
"My Sue is a good girl," her voice was now bothered.
"These are godless times, Mrs. Snell," said Momma.
"I'll drink to that," said Mrs. Snell, smiling. She suddenly stopped, realizing what she had said.
(shut up, momma! dark times are what you're living in! you live in the fuckin' dark ages...just shut up! you are an embarrassment to the human race...just shut the fuck up!)
Phone rang. Mrs. Snell answered it and Momma looking for a verse in the Bible.
"I'm sorry, Betty. I'll have to call you back. Margaret White is here. Yes...I know. I'll get rid of her. Bye."
"I think you'd like to hear this..." Momma said, then opened her mouth to say her verse from the Bible.
"Mrs. White," Mrs. Snell, interrupted, desperate to get rid of the crazy woman. "I'd like to contribute five...ten dollars."
"I see," said Mrs. White, disappointed she didn't get to read her verse. She opened her poor box and Mrs. Snell put ten dollars in. Mrs. Snell showed her to the door. "I pray you find Jesus," said Momma.
She walked out the door.
~
Momma was coming home. Carrie watched as Momma came up the walk, and her belly trembled and Becky sat on her bed, staring at the wall blankly.
The White bungalow was a simple house, painted white, but it was more of a faded grey because it showed signs that it hadn't been washed in years with two floors: the first floor and the attic where Carrie and Becky slept and the bathroom. The curtains were always drawn, refusing light into the house, making the house dark.
Let's go inside the White house, shall we? The kitchen was small with a single table with a sink, a cutting board and sets of green cabinets with a single light hanging from the ceiling that could be flicked on with a switch near the entrance. The floor was white and tiled. Just a few inches near the refrigerator was a little broom closet.
The dining room, next door to the kitchen, had three straight-backed chairs: Momma sat at the head of the table, closest to the living room and Carrie sat on the other end of the table with Becky on her left. Hanging on the wall was a magnificent tapestry of DaVinci's panting of The Last Supper with candles that would be lit, making it seem like you were actually there at the Last Supper with Jesus in the middle and the Twelve Apostles surrounding him, questioning about what he said. The telephone was just
As for the living room, there was just two straight-backed chairs, one was a near a sewing machine with a light where sometimes Carrie or Momma made dresses and the other was a rocking chair where Momma often sat and crocheted doilies while she listened to the radio while the girls sat on the floor on the faded, threadbare rug. There was no television; Momma believed that television was a sin.
The girls' room was just up a flight of narrow, twisted stairs that was in an attic. There were mannequins, some old materials, threads, books, and lots of other things in unopened boxes. The girls' room was tiny: Becky and Carrie's beds were tiny; Becky slept near the window while Carrie slept adjacent to Becky, near the wall. Their room was decorated with a drawing of Jesus wearing a crown of thorns above Carrie's bed and a porcelain statue of the Virgin Mary on the dresser that Becky had decorated with candles and roses around. She wore a veil over her head and a handkerchief, which served as a robe over her shoulders. Becky loved Mary and always wanted her as a mother; she was the only person she prayed to.
"If Momma can't love me like a real mother," Becky once said to Carrie. "Mary will be my mother. She loves me even if I'm a sickly, ugly girl with black eyes."
The bathroom was just near the stairs, opposite from the girls' room. The floor was tile white with a white rug near the white porcelain bathtub that had clawed feet and an old-fashioned faucet and plug. There was no shower; Momma said showers were sinful.
As for the rest of the house, it was decorated with nothing but religious pictures: ones with the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and a few saints. Carrie's favorite was the one in the living room where Jesus leading lambs on a smooth, green hill, making it seem so peaceful. Becky's favorite was the one of Saint Anne, the mother of the Virgin Mary with the little embryo of Mary inside her, both of them praying. The others were frightening: one where Jesus driving the moneychangers out of the temple, Moses casting down the Ten Commandments at the worshippers of the golden calf, and doubting Thomas, thrusting his fingers inside the side wound of Jesus (that one frightened the girls, giving them chilling sensations of pain and horror), Noah's ark floating above while the sinners drowned outside, and the murder of the baby boys of Egypt's slaves while baby Moses escapes down the Nile and of the baby boys in Jerusalem while Mary, Joseph and the Infant Jesus flee to Egypt.
Momma was a very big woman, her legs had begun to swell and her feet seemed on the point of overflowing her shoes. Her eyes were sky blue and her blonde hair hung loose. She always carried a black satchel purse and in it was her change purse and a large King James Bible (also black) with her name stamped on the front in gold. The hands were unpolished with a gold wedding band on her left ring finger and the breasts were large, yet covered. She wore a black cloth cloak with a matching dress, coming to the calves with a little Sacred Heart of Jesus sewn on the breast pocket and little droplets of blood leaking (Becky remembered tracing that little heart with a finger while sitting on Momma's lap as she read a verse from the Bible).
"Momma, what's that?" five-year-old Becky asked, tracing that little heart.
"It's the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Rebecca," said Momma softly.
"Why is it bleeding Momma?"
"Because, Rebecca, our Lord was pierced with a spear when he died on the cross."
"But why is it on fire?"
"Because our Lord has eternal love for all of us, Rebecca."
"Does Jesus love me, Momma?"
"If you pray to Him, He'll love you even more."
Momma opened the door and walked stolidly in. Soon the telephone rang.
"Yes?" she answered. "Yes?" Soon, she was silent.
Becky and Carrie came down the stairs; Becky could hear Miss Collins' voice on the other line:
"Carrie had her first period. We sent her home early today. Becky explained to her what menstruation was."
Becky could see her eyes turn round with shock.
[Wicked, poisonous girl!] Momma thought.
"Thank you," she said quietly. She soon hung up the phone and turned towards the door where Becky and Carrie were listening.
"I know you're listening, girls," she said softly up the stairs. "Come on down."
She turned towards the table and took out one of her books from her satchel on the table.
"Momma, who was that?" said Carrie. "Who called?"
"You're a woman, now," she said softly to Carrie. Then, to Becky, "And you are a poisonous flower."
But why did Momma call her a 'poisonous flower'? What did she ever do? She knew Momma never favored her, but she always was the scapegoat of the White family, blamed for every little sin that she probably never even done.
Becky saw her sister's face twist and crumpling, trying to resist crying.
"Why didn't you tell me, Momma?" she sobbed.
Momma walked towards Carrie first, and now her hand flashed with sudden speed. It was hard, laundry-calloused and muscled. It struck Carrie backhand across the jaw. Then, she slapped Becky, only harder. Both fell at her feet.
"Jesus Christ, Momma, what the hell did I do?" Becky sobbed; her voice was high like a frightened child alone in the dark.
Momma opened a book, titled 'THE BOOK OF SINS', turning it to the chapter, titled: 'SINS OF WOMAN'.
"And God made Eve from the rib of Adam," Momma said, reading from the book. "And Eve was weak and loose the raven on the world. And the raven was called Sin. Say it, woman."
"No, Momma..." said Carrie.
"Momma, what did I do? I didn't do anything!" Becky sobbed.
"You poisoned your sister. You've taught her filth!" She hit Becky in the face with the book. To Carrie she said, "And the raven was called Sin...say it, woman?"
"No, Momma..."
Hit with the book again.
"And the raven was called Sin."
"And-and the raven was called Sin," the girls repeated.
"And the first sin was Intercourse...say it."
"I didn't sin, Momma."
"First sin was Intercourse, first sin was Intercourse...say it!" She hit Carrie with the book.
"Momma, God wanted us to have sex so we could..." Becky began.
"Silence, you wicked child!" The spine of the book thumped Becky's skull and she screamed in pain. "And the first sin was Intercourse...say it, girls!"
"And the first sin was Intercourse," Carrie and Becky sobbed.
"Oh, Momma... I was so scared!" Carrie sobbed. "I thought I was dying! And all the girls laughed at me and threw things at me. But, Becky saved me, she..."
"And Eve was weak. Say it, woman."
"No, Momma...please help me!" Hit again with the book.
"Eve was weak, Eve was weak, Eve was weak...Say it, woman!" her hand shook the book after every syllable.
"No, Momma!"
"Eve was weak! Say it!"
Carrie sobbed. "Eve was weak. Eve was weak."
"And the Lord visited Eve with a Curse, the Curse of Blood..." Her eyes glanced up at the heavens in a zealous manner.
"Momma," Becky began, "it's not a curse. It's a normal bodily function... " She was slapped again, but she ignored it and kept talking. "Momma, you are just misunderstood," Becky began to explain. "You're just messing the whole..."
She got kicked hard in the thigh; the heat jumped about five degrees from normal. "Do not speak, spawn of Satan!" said Momma. "You are the fruit of all evil, a child of corruption, the princess of poison and darkness, Jezebel, Herodias, Salome, Satan's own daughter..."
The temperature began to rise to 100 degrees as it read on the kitchen thermometer.
"Momma, stop calling me that!" Becky said.
"Bow your heads!" said Momma. "Let us pray."
"You should've told me!" Carrie cried.
Momma fell to her knees, grabbing both Carrie and Becky's wrists.
"O Lord," Momma exclaimed loudly, her head thrown back, looking at the ceiling, full of zeal, "help these sinning women beside me see their sins of their days and ways. Show them that if they remained sinless, the Curse of Blood would have never come on them. They may have had committed the Sin of Lustful Thoughts and tempted by the Antichrist. Show them your kind, vengeful hand at work..."
"No!" the girls screeched simultaneously. "No, Momma!"
"...And your Sign that they must walk the straight path from here on out if they are to avoid the agonies of the Eternal Pit. Am..."
"Oh, Lord," said Becky, interrupting loudly, "make this fuckin' cunt shut the fuck up and push her into Satan's black door into his world of madness."
Becky got slapped again. "SIN!" she screeched.
"Momma, we didn't do anything," Carrie said.
"Don't lie to me, Carrietta. I can see inside you two. I can see the sin in you and your sister's eyes. We'll pray."
She grabbed her daughters by the wrists, dragged them across the kitchen floor, towards the closet.
"No!" the girls screamed as they were being dragged. The thermometer read 105 degrees, the water in the sink boiled, and sweat began to trickle from their temples.
"Pray, women, for forgiveness for your sins to Jesus!"
"No! Momma!" screamed the girls, kicking madly and writhing their bodies like fish. "Momma! NO! NO!"
She dragged her daughters into the closet. The door slammed and the dead bolt locked in place.
"And the Lord visited Eve with a second Curse, the Curse of Childbearing, and Eve brought forth Cain in sweat and blood," said Momma over their screaming. "Genesis 3,16."
"Momma! Let me out!" Carrie and Becky screamed in unison, pounding. Becky's screams the loudest; hers was equivalent to a child screaming in the dark, and her pounding was harder. The temperature rose even more...now it was 109.
They were alone with Momma's angry God.
The closet was more suited for a broom closet; it was small and a bit narrow. There was a small alter with a candle on the left side of the corpus of Jesus nailed to the wall, pierced with arrows, in a grotesque, muscle-straining agony of pain with a mouth in a wide open groaning, the eyes staring in slanted agony at the girls. But the blood...oh the blood was drenched over, from Jesus' hands, feet and chest where the arrows pierced His Body. Becky hated that crucifix...it frightened her, especially at night. She had nightmares about Jesus, just staring at her with those eyes, sometimes even calling her in the darkness...
(paranoia)
Carrie lit the candle and got on her knees next to Becky. She heard her sister saying the Lord's Prayer, sniffling and trembling. Becky couldn't bear to look at that horrible crucifix: those eyes just staring at her, giving her a chilling sensation of paranoia creeping up her spine.
(those eyes are staring at me, those horrible eyes staring...stop staring at me)
Becky's face was bruised, sweaty, and bloody. Her hair was scattered all over, she could taste the combination of snot on her wet lips, and her eyes were red, glittering with tears with anger and hate, which was as intense as the heat that rose. Blood pulsed in her head hard and her nerves screamed angrily and loudly inside her head. She looked at Carrie; also very beat up, hair scattered, sweaty, and teary-eyed.
(no! I won't do it again! I swore! I swore to carrie that I would never start another fire again! back off...back off...back off...)
Slowly, the temperature dropped to normal.
"I can't stand it anymore," Becky wept, wiping her bloody nose. "I will ask God to give me the courage to die."
"Becky," said Carrie, sniffling. "Stop talking nonsense."
"I'm not...I'm serious." Her voice did sound serious. She knelt down and said, "Lord, give me the strength and courage to die. Take me away from this Hell I'm living...take me away! Just take me away!" She reached to skirt pocket and pulled out a razor blade from the razor.
"NO!" said Carrie. "Don't, Beck!"
"Goodbye, Carrie," said Becky, sobbing. "It's been wonderful having a sister like you. I will see you in the end."
Slowly, she flexed her pale hand, making a slow hesitant slice, just above her tattoo; first there was a stinging pain and then the blood. It bled slowly from her vein from her tattooed wrist, bringing a chilling sensation up her spine as the red liquid seeped through the slice wounds. She was about to cut again, only a little more quicker, then Carrie slapped Becky hard across the face; the razor fell out of her hand and it was stained with scarlet blood. Becky cupped her bruised face; more tears fell from her melancholic ebony orbs.
"Stop it, Beck!" screamed Carrie. "Stay with me! Pray with me!" She grabbed her sister's bleeding wrist; her hands could feel the hot blood flowing on her hands.
"I'm sorry, Carrie!" sobbed Becky, miserably. "I'm so stupid! I'm glad you stopped me! I'm really glad you stopped me!"
They hugged each other tightly, both crying. The blood from Becky's wrist smeared in Carrie's hair and soaked the back of her shirt. Carrie wrapped her bleeding sister's wrist tightly with her handkerchief to stop the bleeding; the scarlet blood seeped through the cotton.
"I'll stay," sobbed Becky, miserably. "But why doesn't God hear me? He ignores me... He wants me to be miserable..."
"Stop it, Beck! Just pray with me."
"I can't...I just can't."
"Just try, Beck. Please. Pray to Mary, she'll help you."
"All right...I'll try."
Six hours later, the girls came out of the closet. Momma was at her sewing machine, sewing yards of material.
"Thank you, Momma," said Carrie, quietly.
"You can go to bed now, girls," she said, not looking at them.
Becky watched her sister lean over and kiss Momma on the cheek.
(I'd like to burn that nice, smooth cheek of yours, momma. turn that pale creamy cheek of yours charred black...hear you scream when you're lit up...)
Becky reluctantly she kissed her on the cheek; it was smooth and warm as she remembered.
"Slut!" she hissed in her ear quietly.
Momma looked at Becky with wide eyes, watching her youngest walk up the stairs following her sister. The two girls slipped into their nightgowns and crawled into bed. Carrie turned the light off.
"Carrie?" said Becky's voice, trembling.
"What?"
"Let's be soul sisters."
"What do soul sisters do?"
"They stay together forever."
"I'll stay with you."
"Me too. Forever and ever."
From The Flame Ignited (p. 16)
Becky was lying in bed, but she couldn't sleep...she looked at the clock next to her bed. 10:20 it read. All she could think of was the push...the push that made heat and fire. She lay on her flat pillow, staring at the wall, hearing those voices: the laughter of students and Momma's angry, fanatical voice echoed. She turned over, seeing the glass of water on the table near her bed.
She looked at a glass of water on the table, concentrating; the room got hotter and her temperature jumped to 103 degrees. Her eyes became tiny slits with black dots as she concentrated; the glass trembled...the water began to simmer, the glass fogged.
(push... push... concentrate, beck, concentrate...make the water hot...)
"He's got the power, washed in the blood of the Lamb..." Momma's voice sang, echoing in Becky's head...her brain ached with a headache.
Now, steam came from the glass and it began to bubble slowly. Now, the bubbles increased, like a pot of boiling water and the fog and steam increased. The glass began to overflow with hot water and tremble as it boiled. Becky was sweaty, trembling, and hot inside. Her eyes burned, her blood scalding hot, her brain on fire, her heart racing, and her mouth tasted dry and cottony. Now she wanted the push to go away. How did she do it last time?
(back off, back off, back off)
The water began to slow down, yet the glass still trembled and the steam was still there. Soon, the glass burst into pieces...Carrie awoke with a start, hearing the glass shatter.
(shit! too hot!)
"Rebecca? Carrie?" Becky heard Momma say from downstairs. She heard her footsteps coming up the stairs. Becky could sense Momma grabbing the doorknob and pulling on it.
"Carrie? Rebecca?" she said, rattling the door. "Open the door."
"It's open, Momma," said Becky.
(go to sleep, carrie...you never heard the noise.)
Carrie rolled onto her side, pretending to sleep.
Momma opened the door, her face looked suspicious at Becky.
"What was that noise?" she asked.
"What noise?" Becky said.
"Go to sleep, Rebecca."
"Yes ma'am," Becky said quietly.
As Becky laid her head down, she found her pillow was soaking wet...