COME AROUND
Disclaimer: Well. Must you ask? Draco Malfoy belongs to me. YES, he does, DEAL WITH IT. Well, at least he does until JKR comes running after me with a torch. Because she owns him. She owns Cho, too. She owns everything associated with Harry, actually. Isn't that AMAZING?
Author's Note: I kinda promised myself that I'd have this chapter up on or before my third anniversary as a FanFiction.Net member, which happens to be on, 26 March 2003. Three days or so from now. So, Advanced Happy Third Anniversary, me! Hahaha! It's not over yet, no. But it will be. Soon. YES! Then I can move on and do other things! HURRAH! As I write this, it is actually just the thirteenth of March. So I have another thirteen days to finish this. I'll try to make it a bit longer than the previous chapters. I dunno. The chapters just seemed so short. Anyway.
For him. The Renga Boy. *grin*
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He would have liked to convince himself that he wasn't nervous. Not in the least bit. It just wasn't possible. People like him didn't get nervous. But the oh-so-overused Butterflies in the Stomach took this opportunity to attack and prove him wrong. He, being the sole heir to the Malfoy legacy, was dressed to kill. Yeah. Draco Malfoy the lady-killer. He smiled mirthlessly. She was going to regret ever letting him go.
God, Draco, have you realised that you're beginning to sound like one of those spurned females in romance novels? The thought crossed his mind and left him quite disturbed. He was acting like a juvenile, bitter ex-lover. Which he was, of course. Bitter. He knew he was bitter. He turned his head slightly to his right, having suddenly noticed that he was walking parallel to the ocean and was, after all, missing an incredible view. Besides, it'd give him something else to think about. He was getting sick of being bitter all the time.
Normally, the sun would set earlier in the Philippines. On some days, it was gone by five thirty. This was not the case, however. The Bitter, Jealous Ex-Lover glint in his eyes faded to make way for his awe. There were no sunsets like sunsets on Boracay, where the great golden orb that was their planet's primary source of light gently dipped into the deep, deep blue of the ocean. Where gold became red and the sky was no longer blue, but countless shades of oranges, violets, pinks, and yellows. Where the water, in some parts, were the darkest cobalt, and in others, the finest sparkling white wine.
It was so easy to fall asleep here, where the sounds of the waves crashing on the powdery white shore would lull you into dreamless slumber. Whether you liked it or not. Draco sighed listlessly as he trudged up to the Seaside Grill. The smell of good, blessedly exotic food wafted to meet him. He checked his watch in an absentminded manner, noting with some amusement that he was actually early. Well, wasn't that a great feat? A Malfoy, not fashionably late? This was definitely one for the books. He grinned faintly, but the smile left his face when he saw what (or who) was in front of him.
A pair of nearly-obsidian eyes met his as he looked up. He knew who those eyes belonged to. Those eyes went with the long, raven hair and the smooth, pale skin. Those eyes went with the brilliant smile and the musical laugh. Those eyes went with Cho Chang, who was standing by the entrance to the open-air edifice. She smiled at him. He, of course, would not return the favor. Draco noticed, however, that Cho looked quite relieved. Relieved that he actually came, perhaps? He shrugged it off and climbed the few steps to the porch.
"Merlin, Draco, somehow, I just can't believe you actually came," she said to him, with a sweet, sincere smile. Why was she acting like nothing was wrong? He was fully aware that everything was wrong. Were women just completely adept at denial?
He shot her an irritated glance. "Of course I came. I promised. We're Malfoys. We don't break promises," he hissed scathingly. Cho recoiled sharply. Draco knew it'd be a blow to her integrity. Ah, wasn't he bitter? He remembered that pact they made, seated by the window in that room where they had their first conversation. A pact involving some words like love, and forever, as he recalled. A pact that involved a goblet of the best wine the Malfoy Manor had in storage and several drops of blood.
The pact she had broken. And she remembered this, too. He could see it in her face.
"Yeah, Draco, I guess you don't," she said softly, somewhat sadly. "In any case, I really am glad you came." She offered him another smile, took his hand, and led him into the restaurant. He wanted to pull back from the contact. It was like a burn, a single touch kicked his panic sensors into full gear. But he resisted, and let her take him where she wanted.
Draco shook his head as he walked. He wanted answers, not pretenses.
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She had been so glad to see him walking on the sand towards her. Some part of her just couldn't believe that he'd actually be there, and early, at that. Some part of her had been excited as she saw his familiar frame, his familiar face, and those ice grey eyes. Just that now, they're really ice. There's no warmth left in them. Not for me.
Cho had entertained a few anxieties earlier on, like whether he'd bolt and run away as fast as he could at the sight of her, but when he sat down at the table, she finally believed that it was actually happening. They were actually having a rational discussion. It was something they should have done a long, long time ago.
"But why, Cho? Why did you do it?" Draco stressed sharply, his brow furrowing. He rested his elbows on the wooden table, leaning forward to get a better look at her. Cho shied away from his penetrating glance. She was, in all senses of the word, frightened. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to answer. But she had to answer. He had to understand.
Cho lifted her head uneasily and met his gaze with her own. "I'll start from the beginning, Draco. But you have to promise me you won't interrupt until I finish. Then you can ask all the questions you want," she said decisively, burying her discomfiture. Draco nodded his agreement.
She took a deep breath, and she began.
"Mandy Brocklehurst and I made this deal before the night in that room on the third floor. I was still bitter over Cedric's death then, and angry…"
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I was just so confused. Sometimes, I felt like curling up somewhere and crying. Sometimes, I felt like punching something, anything, anyone. And on some days, I was especially vindictive, which was the mood Mandy found me in the day we made our bet. We were alone in the Ravenclaw common room. I was seated on one of the plush couches there, staring darkly at the fire and wishing that it would just burn me up. Take me out of my misery.
Life was so different without my boyfriend in it. We were a duo. We did everything together. But Cedric wasn't just my boyfriend, Draco. He was my best friend. I told him everything. And he understood me. Whenever I was feeling lost, or alone, I'd run straight to him, and he'd always have something encouraging to say. He'd always be that shoulder for me to lean on. And he was loyal to me. There was no one else for him but me, and that was something I needed so much.
My mother spent many years of my life pretty much ignoring me. Yes, she's better now, and she genuinely cares for me, but for the first fifteen years of my life, she just wasn't there. My father was always busy, working, and most of the time, out of the country. My mother wouldn't speak to me. It was just occasional passing remarks. She spent most of her time dwelling on her missing family. Something I've picked up through the years, after she gave it up and finally realised that the family she had now was all she needed.
I grew up alone, in a big, empty house, with servants who didn't care, and a mother who couldn't care less. I craved attention, but I couldn't get it in our home. I was so happy to be going to Hogwarts. I promised myself that I'd never let myself be alone there. I promised myself that I'd have friends, and people who cared about me. I swore I'd be the belle of the ball, the one in the middle of everything. I'd be loved.
Hogwarts was almost everything I wanted. I had friends, I had a good spot in the social hierarchy, and I was a success. But I didn't have the one thing I needed most. A person to confide in. I had all these feelings still bottled up in me, despite my happiness at school. I was still resentful.
That room you were in, Draco. That room, on the third floor, that night. That room had always been our room. Our secret rendezvous. Do you wonder why it's so unused? It only appears to people in need of solace. I went in there one night, looking for a place to be alone, and what did I find in that room? I saw Cedric Diggory. Much like I found you, but in a less precarious condition.
He was seated on that windowsill, the moon shining on him. He was staring out into the Forbidden Forest, and the lake. He heard me.
Cedric was tired, Draco. Of all the pressure his father put on him to be the best, to be someone exceptional. He was tired of his father's disappointment. First, he'd been sorted into Hufflepuff, not Gryffindor, as his father wanted. He'd been redeemed by his position in the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, but for Amos Diggory, that really wasn't enough.
Cedric put up a good face for everyone else, but I saw him in his reality in that room. And he saw me, in my reality, in that room, as well. We talked out our problems with each other. We became friends. We became confidantes, and eventually, we fell in love.
Our relationship was more than silly kisses in the Astronomy Tower, though we did have those. Our relationship was trust and real, genuine love. I knew I could tell him anything, and he would never hate me for it.
To lose that was akin to losing my arms and my legs. To lose that was to lose my sight and my voice and my hearing. To lose that was to lose my soul. I couldn't bear it.
Grieving didn't help. Crying only made me feel worse; it made me feel pathetic.
I took the last alternative. Hate and anger.
This was what my bet was all about. Mandy Brocklehurst, you don't know her, Draco. She seems nice enough, but she's clever and cunning. She thought I'd lost my edge, and wanted to take my spot on the hierarchy. If it hadn't been me up there on the social ladder, Draco, it would have been her. And she hated me for that.
I, wanting to prove that I wasn't changed, that, in fact, I was better than before, made a deal with Mandy Brocklehurst. She dared me to charm anyone into loving me completely. Then, when this was complete, to break his heart. I, feeling the need to make someone else hurt like I was hurting, agreed. We bet on my locket. Do you remember that locket? That glittering piece of white gold and crystal? It was a present from Cedric. I loved that thing more than anything else. It was the last tangible symbol of his undying love for me. I was arrogant. I agreed to wager my most prized possession.
And to keep that possession, I had to break your heart.
I'm sorry, Draco. It just happened. Of all the unfortunate circumstances. Unluckily enough, two days later, I found you in our sanctum. It pained me to see you hurting. I tried to call off the bet with Mandy Brocklehurst, but she refused. I had to go through with it. I tried to shove the guilt from my mind and just go through with the deal. I had to be cold and heartless. And now, I had the perfect way to get into you.
But I found something I didn't expect, Draco. I found someone who replaced Cedric in my heart. Of course, he'd always be there, but now, there was something else that gave me hope. There was someone else who would listen to me, someone else who would comfort me when I was crying, someone else who needed me as well. There was you. You were different from Cedric. Colder, more distant, but you were the same thing.
My deal with Mandy Brocklehurst would last until Yule. She was kind enough to...remind me of my deadline on the day before the Ball. I tried desperately to find a way out, but she wouldn't allow it.
I think, secretly, she'd always liked Cedric herself.
I couldn't give up my necklace, Draco. I couldn't give up that last part of Cedric that was still in my hands. So I gave you up instead.
I cried for days. I locked myself up in my room. I had my own since I was a prefect. I wouldn't sleep, I wouldn't eat. I would just cry. And cry. And cry. First, I lost Cedric. Now, I lost you.
After about six days of trying to kill myself, I left my room. All of Ravenclaw House was assembled outside my room, waiting anxiously for me, and I came out, looking like a wreck, with that pendant in my hands. I threw it into the fire. I cried in front of them, Draco. In my greatest moment of weakness, they all saw me. I tried to slash myself, Draco. But they stopped me. They saw the other gashes on my wrists. They saw how pale I was. They saw how much harder it was getting for me to breathe. They know about my condition, Draco. I have fainting spells, and sometimes, I won't wake for days. After Quidditch matches, I can't breathe. But it didn't matter to me.
What mattered to me was that I hurt you. And I wanted to hurt myself, the way you used to. I wanted to know how it felt. Why you did it. And I understood your therapy of pain.
God, Draco, I threw that locket into the fire. That locket with the picture of Cedric and I, and the engraving that said You and Me Forever. I hurt you to save it. I hurt you to save that one memory of our tragic, Shakespearean romance.
I lost it anyway, Draco. I gave you up to save that one trinket, and I destroyed it in the end, anyway.
I lost you both.
I lost you. I lost Cedric. I lost everything.
I wanted so badly to fix things with you, but I didn't know how. I wrote you countless letters, which I never sent. I still do so now, Draco. The letter you received via my cousin Alex's owl was one of those letters. They were never meant to be given to you. That was a mistake. Over the years, you've become some sort of diary for me. I wanted so badly to send them, but I knew you'd never forgive me. I'd never told you my reasons for what I did. I couldn't. I didn't think you would understand. I don't think you understand.
I guess they worked, somehow. You're there, see, in front of me, listening to the sad, pathetic tragedy that is my life, and you probably still hate me.
I guess you deserve to hate me, Draco. I accomplished my mission. I made someone else hurt like I did. And I'm sorry.
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Draco was rendered speechless. He was still angry, of course. There was no possible way he couldn't be, but much to his ire, he understood Cho's desperation. And now that he'd heard everything, he didn't know what to do. Part of him forgave her. Most of him understood her. But some parts of him were still bitter. So bitter.
He didn't know what to do. His face was blank and unreadable as he stood from the table and left. He turned away from her, hearing her collapse onto the empty table, sobbing hopelessly and violently. She must have thought that she had failed in making him understand.
But she hadn't.
He understood her completely now. And he was at a loss as to what to do.
Draco sank to the sand, leaning weakly against a sturdy palm by the sea. He wanted to forgive her. The anguish was obvious on her face as she told him her story. He had wanted, against his will, to take her into his arms and comfort her. He wanted everything to be okay again.
But the more rational part of him rebelled. If she could do this to him once, couldn't she do it to him again? She had broken his trust. Even Draco knew that trust was the most important part of a relationship. How could he love her again if he didn't trust her?
He didn't know what to do anymore.
Was Cho still in the restaurant? Was she still crying? Why did he even want to know? What could he do?
Nothing. You can't do anything.--------------------
She'd failed. She had him in front of her, and she failed. A failure. She was a failure. She had her chance to make him take her back, to make him love her again, and she failed.
I've really lost everything now, she thought dejectedly, staring out the railings to the sea. She thought she could see Draco's white gold hair, his tall figure, slumped against a tree.
Maybe she was hallucinating.
Maybe I can still do something, anything. I can't give up. I don't have enough time to stop trying now.
She left the table and ran as best as she could out the doorway. They would charge their meal to her suite. She had to chase him. The cold wind, smelling like the sea, whipped through her ebony hair. It stung her eyes slightly as she ran against it, but she didn't have to go a long way. Draco hadn't gone very far.
"Draco!" she gasped, out of breath already. She collapsed onto her knees and steadied herself with her hands on the sand. She was weakened with the short run, already exhausted. Tears streaked from her eyes and fell onto the powdery floor. "Draco, I'm sorry," she said, distraught with emotion. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she cried, expending what energy she had left to fling her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder as she'd done so many times, so many years ago, holding on to him for dear life.
She could felt his sharp intake of breath as she touched him. He was shocked, but he melted into her embrace. She could feel his heartbeat.
It was just like before.
Just like before.
She felt his arms wrap around her frail frame, she could feel him holding her like she was something precious.
This was it. This was what she'd wanted so badly, for so long. This was what she needed. Draco broke their embrace slightly, and turned her face up to meet his. There was a fire in his silver eyes that was so familiar, so familiar, so familiar. He cut off whatever she was about to say as he pressed his lips to hers in a deep kiss.
Everything was right. She could still feel the warm, salty tears flowing down her cheeks, the sound of the breeze rustling the branches and the waves crashing on the shore. Somehow, she could feel the stars and the moon shining down on her.
She could feel Draco's heartbeat. She could feel his tears mingling with hers.
Everything was right. Just like before.
Finally.
Finally.
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Author's Note: The next chapter might (note: MIGHT) be the last one, if I don't feel like rambling on. I actually want to end it as soon as possible, but somehow, I don't think I've given this story enough substance to end it just yet. What do you think? Review, okay? Ü WOW, it's actually almost my third year as a FanFiction.net member! I'm so HAPPY! Hahaha! ADVANCED HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ME! It'll be my report card day, too, you know? I really, really hope I didn't get low grades! Hahaha! PRAY FOR ME, aiight? (Gosh, why am I so CHEERFUL? Maybe because I finally finished another chapter?)
Hmm. I think I find the last parts kind of abrupt. Will fix when I figure out how. Do you know that it's actually only the twenty-second of March? I finished this three days early. So I'm giving in and posting it early. Hey, Draco seems to have overlooked the fact that Cho has a 'condition.' What condition is this? *evil grin* Well, I'm not telling yet. And Cho never really told him. But Cedric knew! And Cho's quite aware of it. So is Ravenclaw House. I'm glad that I got this chapter to be longer than most of the others. Ah, well, long chapter, long Author's Note! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! :D REVIEW!
Oh, and if you're the one hundredth reviewer, tell me in the review. :D Next chapter goes out to you! (It rhymes!)