Chapter 2 ~*~*~ Classes with Destinee
The next day, everyone went off to his or her respective classes. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford was still in Gryffindor- she had slept that night in a private dorm furnished for her by Dobby the house elf, who had decided he liked her better than Harry.
The first class of the day was Potions, newly taught by Professor McGonagall. Harry had to admit this was quite an improvement. He had come to like the rather stern head of Gryffindor house last year when dealing with Umbridge, so although she was a tough teacher, he could get along with her. And almost anybody was better than Snape.
"Good Morning, class," said the teacher, wearing robes like an American flag in honor of Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's arrival. "Take out your cauldrons. I've never taught Potions before and I didn't even do very well on my Potions O.W.L.s, but the Headmaster knows what he's doing."
Harry, Ron, and Hermione took out their pewter cauldrons. I suppose they were carrying them in their robes pockets. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford took out her diamond cauldron encrusted with rubies and emeralds.
"Is this okay?" she asked in her voice like the whinny of a unicorn. "It was the required cauldron at Saffire-Sparkle."
Professor McGonagall nodded her approval at Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's appropriately beautiful cauldron. "Er, alright, class, let's begin. How about that one potion that um. . .well, what's that potion we're working on, you know, with the aconite, asphodel root, and knotgrass. . ."
Hermione raised her hand. "Excuse me, Professor? I believe you are referring to the Aging Potion, as it was discovered by Newton Senectus while he was in Scotland, where knotgrass and asphodel root are both most common."
"Oh, right. . ." said Professor McGonagall.
"Uh, Professor?" said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford in a voice as soft as Japanese silk "While knotgrass and asphodel root are both key ingredients in the Aging Potion, which incidentally was discovered by Newton's brother Aaron in Wales, not Scotland, the Aging Potion lacks aconite, also known as wolfsbane and monkshood. I believe Hermione was thinking of the Hypnosian Potion, which supposedly aids in the development of the Sight."
"Oh!" said Professor McGonagall. "You're right!" Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford smiled modestly, a pale pink blush coming to her cheeks of midnight-framed ivory. Hermione scowled.
"What a bitch," she muttered under her breath. "Pardon?" asked Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sweetly.
Ron patted her on the shoulder. "She said you're an awesome witch." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford beamed brightly. Hermione sunk lower in her chair.
The class continued to work on the Hypnosian Potion, Hermione seeming so flustered that she accidentally added the asphodel root before the cauldron had come to a boil. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford laughed sweetly. "Evanesco," she said, waving her wand. "Sorry, 'Mione, but it was ruined. I'll help tutor you if you like."
Hermione blinked. 'Mione? She was very glad when the bell rang and the students were dismissed. Gryffindor filed out into the hall.
"Ooh, that was fun!" chimed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford in her voice like s clear sunset. "What's next?"
Harry glanced at his schedule. "We have Divination next. Oh no! They've re- instated Professor Trelawney as the Divination teacher!"
Hermione grinned. "Thank god for Arithmancy," she said merrily, skipping off to get away from Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. Harry and Ron shrugged, and turned back to the exchange student. "Well, come on. Divination is in the North Tower. Long walk."
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford grinned. "No need. We can Apparate!" Oh, wait, you can't apparate here until you're 17, huh? Oh, well, I'll just apparate both of you."
Ron looked confused. "But you can't apparate in Hogwarts and-"
Suddenly, the trio was standing in the divination room. The smell of musty perfume was overpowered by Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's compelling scent of summersweet magnolia. Professor Trelawney looked startled as soon as the three of them appeared.
"N-never," she said, obviously shaken, "Never have I perceived a stronger aura of the Sight than on you, er, what's your name? You weren't here last year, no?"
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford shook her head of glossy marble. "No, Professor. I'm new this year. My name is Lily Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford Potter. My teacher at Saffire-Sparkle told you about me?"
"Oh!" said Professor Trelawney suddenly. "Erm, I mean, yes. I knew all of this, but I was merely testing you. Your professor told me you were already an amazing seer and need no further instruction." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford nodded, bouncing her curls of glimmering slate. Professor Trelawney smiled blissfully. "You just run along then, dear. Tell me if you wish to borrow my orb some time." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford ran off with falcon-like agility. "Now, class!" Trelawney said suddenly to the other students. "I expect you all attempt to reach Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's level of accomplishment. Therefore, we will work extra hard. Everyone will construct charts of the positions of the nine planets on every influencial day in the last twenty years. You may not go until I have approved your work."
Everyone, including Lavender and Parvati, groaned.
~*~*~
After a long, grueling period of Transfiguration, Harry and Ron finally trudged down to the Great Hall for lunch. Hermione came skipping a long, wearing a lei and a long grass skirt and drinking out of a glass of punch with a little umbrella in it.
"Arithmancy was great! Professor Vector decided to have Surprise Luau Day!"
"Shut up, Hermione," Harry and Ron chorused. The two of them ran into the Great Hall and began scarfing food from plates set out on the tables.
"Stupid Gryffindors!" Malfoy shouted, banging his fist in front of Harry. "Eat at your own bloody table!" Harry and Ron ran to the Gryffindor table. They ate some more food. Hermione was already there, but she wasn't eating as they had had a lot of those roast pigs with apples in their mouths at the luau. Finally they finished, and Ron noticed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford wasn't at the table.
"My love! My dearest Destinee Violette whatsit! I was hoping she might sit next to me and allow me to gaze reverently upon her hair of burnished onyx!" He collapsed into sobs, and suddenly Harry gasped and sat up.
"I almost forgot! My favoritest godfather wants me to have lunch with him!" he sat up, and Hermione followed, leaving sobbing Ron to sob all over the table. Harry was skipping and whistling brightly as he walked. "Oh, 'Mione. . ."
"'Mione?" muttered Hermione.
"Oh, 'Mione," continued Harry, "It's so nice to have my godfather back! He's such a great, loving, concerned godfather! It's. . .it's almost like having the father that I always dreamed at night while I was locked in the cubboard at the Dursley's," he sniffed, and a tear ran down his cheek. "Do you know, I'm his favorite person in the entire world!"
Hermione and Harry came upon Sirius's office adjoining the Transfiguration classroom. There were voices coming from inside, so Hermione slowly opened a crack in the door. Inside, they could see Sirius and Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford making out on Harry's Transfiguration desk.
"Oh, Destinee Violette whatsit," muttered Sirius. "You're my favorite person in the entire world! With your hair of starless curls, and your eyes of dancing meadows, the most beautiful eyes in the entire universe. . .you're so much better than my stupid, boring godson! Everyone says I'm perverted for dating my god daughter, but I don't care!"
Harry's jaw dropped, and he ran from the room, sobbing. Hermione followed after him.
Sirius and Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford continued going at it, oblivious to the plight of Harry. Sirius continued muttering to Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, difficult to do as his lips were currently plastered to her face. But then Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford suddenly pulled away from Sirius's grasp.
"Destinee-whatsit, what's wrong?" asked Sirius.
"I can't do this anymore, Siri-chan!" she sniffled.
"Siri-chan?" muttered Sirius, but then continued with the more important issue at hand. "Wait, why can't you go through with this? Don't you know you're my One True Love?" he pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Sirius," she said, gazing sadly at the man dressed like a drunken member of the Backstreet Boys. "I don't love you." Dramatic soap opera music began playing. "There's. . .someone else. Goodbye, Sirius." Sirius began sobbing and clutched the hem of her shimmering spring lavender robes.
"Noooooooooooooo!!!!! Don't leave me, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford!"
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford pulled his hands off and walked out of the room. Sirius ran after her. "Who is he?" he snarled.
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sighed dramatically. "That adorable Remus Lupin." She skipped off merrily to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Office.
"R-remus?" said Sirius to himself softly. His best friend, Remus? The last of the Marauders? How could he? Sirius had never felt betrayal like this. Oh, sure, there had been that Wormtail thing, but Peter had only sold his best friends and godson to Voldemort and sent him to hell-on-earth for twelve years. He had never stolen Sirius's One True Love!
Sirius knew what he had to do. He pulled a long dagger out of his pocket, even though he had a perfectly good wand, and nodded grimly. He would have to kill Remus Lupin.
***
Harry lay on his bed, head cradled in his arms, body racked with sobs. He was more miserable then he had ever been. Nothing the Dursleys had done had compared to this. Even Voldemort had never hurt him so badly. This shook his faith in everything that he had thought true.
"Harry?" said Hermione softly, coming into the boy's dorm.
"Go away!" he shouted at her, and then burst into more sobs. Hermione didn't understand. She couldn't understand. Hermione was smart and pretty and had a loving family. She had so much going for her. She'd never understand Harry's dilemma.
"H-Harry. . ." she said, "I'm really sorry. Those things Sirius said, about you being dumb and boring and kinda smelly, I'm sure he didn't mean it. . ."
Harry sat up and wiped his glasses which were soaked with tears. "I-it's not that. . ." he said miserably, controlling his sobs for the time being.
"What is it, then?" Hermione asked kindly.
"It's just. . ." said Harry slowly, "all my life I thought. . .that my bright green eyes were the most beautiful in the world. But now I see it- how can I possible compare to Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's brilliant orbs of passionate jade?" He collapsed into sobs once again.
"Erm. . .sorry, Harry," Hermione said tentatively, patting him on the back dubiously. Harry continued to clutch the bed as his body was wracked with sobs.
"'Mione?" He said eventually. "Sometimes. . .sometimes I wish Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford had never come to Hogwarts! Why couldn't she have stayed at Saffire-Sparkle with her stupid house-elves? I WISH I WAS DEAD!" he shouted suddenly. Hermione gasped and grasped his arm tightly.
"No, Harry! I mean, I know you're upset about your. . .eyes and all. . .but sitting around here moping isn't going to help! Maybe you should do something productive?"
Harry stood up and broke out into a wide grin. "You're right Hermione! And I know exactly what I have to do to feel better!" he laughed and Hermione laughed, too.
"Quidditch?"
"No," said Harry, as if this was obvious. A mad glint appeared in his eye. "I have to puts them out."
"Puts them out?" asked Hermione nervously. "Put what out?"
"Her eyeses, precious," said Harry with a wide smile and gleaming eyes. Hermione back up against the wall.
"Y-you mean. . .you're going to kill Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford?"
Harry nodded slowly. Hermione jumped up quickly.
"Kick-ass! Count me in!"
Author's Note~ Hey, everyone! Thanks for your great reviews! Motivated me to actually write more.
Some of you have expressed concern as to whether Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smythford will die. No, of course not! She's so cool! She's going to marry Remus and-
Don't worry. She will die an appropriately gory and painful death.
NO MORE STORY UNLESS I GET 459,267,412.555 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next day, everyone went off to his or her respective classes. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford was still in Gryffindor- she had slept that night in a private dorm furnished for her by Dobby the house elf, who had decided he liked her better than Harry.
The first class of the day was Potions, newly taught by Professor McGonagall. Harry had to admit this was quite an improvement. He had come to like the rather stern head of Gryffindor house last year when dealing with Umbridge, so although she was a tough teacher, he could get along with her. And almost anybody was better than Snape.
"Good Morning, class," said the teacher, wearing robes like an American flag in honor of Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's arrival. "Take out your cauldrons. I've never taught Potions before and I didn't even do very well on my Potions O.W.L.s, but the Headmaster knows what he's doing."
Harry, Ron, and Hermione took out their pewter cauldrons. I suppose they were carrying them in their robes pockets. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford took out her diamond cauldron encrusted with rubies and emeralds.
"Is this okay?" she asked in her voice like the whinny of a unicorn. "It was the required cauldron at Saffire-Sparkle."
Professor McGonagall nodded her approval at Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's appropriately beautiful cauldron. "Er, alright, class, let's begin. How about that one potion that um. . .well, what's that potion we're working on, you know, with the aconite, asphodel root, and knotgrass. . ."
Hermione raised her hand. "Excuse me, Professor? I believe you are referring to the Aging Potion, as it was discovered by Newton Senectus while he was in Scotland, where knotgrass and asphodel root are both most common."
"Oh, right. . ." said Professor McGonagall.
"Uh, Professor?" said Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford in a voice as soft as Japanese silk "While knotgrass and asphodel root are both key ingredients in the Aging Potion, which incidentally was discovered by Newton's brother Aaron in Wales, not Scotland, the Aging Potion lacks aconite, also known as wolfsbane and monkshood. I believe Hermione was thinking of the Hypnosian Potion, which supposedly aids in the development of the Sight."
"Oh!" said Professor McGonagall. "You're right!" Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford smiled modestly, a pale pink blush coming to her cheeks of midnight-framed ivory. Hermione scowled.
"What a bitch," she muttered under her breath. "Pardon?" asked Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sweetly.
Ron patted her on the shoulder. "She said you're an awesome witch." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford beamed brightly. Hermione sunk lower in her chair.
The class continued to work on the Hypnosian Potion, Hermione seeming so flustered that she accidentally added the asphodel root before the cauldron had come to a boil. Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford laughed sweetly. "Evanesco," she said, waving her wand. "Sorry, 'Mione, but it was ruined. I'll help tutor you if you like."
Hermione blinked. 'Mione? She was very glad when the bell rang and the students were dismissed. Gryffindor filed out into the hall.
"Ooh, that was fun!" chimed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford in her voice like s clear sunset. "What's next?"
Harry glanced at his schedule. "We have Divination next. Oh no! They've re- instated Professor Trelawney as the Divination teacher!"
Hermione grinned. "Thank god for Arithmancy," she said merrily, skipping off to get away from Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford. Harry and Ron shrugged, and turned back to the exchange student. "Well, come on. Divination is in the North Tower. Long walk."
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford grinned. "No need. We can Apparate!" Oh, wait, you can't apparate here until you're 17, huh? Oh, well, I'll just apparate both of you."
Ron looked confused. "But you can't apparate in Hogwarts and-"
Suddenly, the trio was standing in the divination room. The smell of musty perfume was overpowered by Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's compelling scent of summersweet magnolia. Professor Trelawney looked startled as soon as the three of them appeared.
"N-never," she said, obviously shaken, "Never have I perceived a stronger aura of the Sight than on you, er, what's your name? You weren't here last year, no?"
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford shook her head of glossy marble. "No, Professor. I'm new this year. My name is Lily Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford Potter. My teacher at Saffire-Sparkle told you about me?"
"Oh!" said Professor Trelawney suddenly. "Erm, I mean, yes. I knew all of this, but I was merely testing you. Your professor told me you were already an amazing seer and need no further instruction." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford nodded, bouncing her curls of glimmering slate. Professor Trelawney smiled blissfully. "You just run along then, dear. Tell me if you wish to borrow my orb some time." Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford ran off with falcon-like agility. "Now, class!" Trelawney said suddenly to the other students. "I expect you all attempt to reach Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's level of accomplishment. Therefore, we will work extra hard. Everyone will construct charts of the positions of the nine planets on every influencial day in the last twenty years. You may not go until I have approved your work."
Everyone, including Lavender and Parvati, groaned.
~*~*~
After a long, grueling period of Transfiguration, Harry and Ron finally trudged down to the Great Hall for lunch. Hermione came skipping a long, wearing a lei and a long grass skirt and drinking out of a glass of punch with a little umbrella in it.
"Arithmancy was great! Professor Vector decided to have Surprise Luau Day!"
"Shut up, Hermione," Harry and Ron chorused. The two of them ran into the Great Hall and began scarfing food from plates set out on the tables.
"Stupid Gryffindors!" Malfoy shouted, banging his fist in front of Harry. "Eat at your own bloody table!" Harry and Ron ran to the Gryffindor table. They ate some more food. Hermione was already there, but she wasn't eating as they had had a lot of those roast pigs with apples in their mouths at the luau. Finally they finished, and Ron noticed Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford wasn't at the table.
"My love! My dearest Destinee Violette whatsit! I was hoping she might sit next to me and allow me to gaze reverently upon her hair of burnished onyx!" He collapsed into sobs, and suddenly Harry gasped and sat up.
"I almost forgot! My favoritest godfather wants me to have lunch with him!" he sat up, and Hermione followed, leaving sobbing Ron to sob all over the table. Harry was skipping and whistling brightly as he walked. "Oh, 'Mione. . ."
"'Mione?" muttered Hermione.
"Oh, 'Mione," continued Harry, "It's so nice to have my godfather back! He's such a great, loving, concerned godfather! It's. . .it's almost like having the father that I always dreamed at night while I was locked in the cubboard at the Dursley's," he sniffed, and a tear ran down his cheek. "Do you know, I'm his favorite person in the entire world!"
Hermione and Harry came upon Sirius's office adjoining the Transfiguration classroom. There were voices coming from inside, so Hermione slowly opened a crack in the door. Inside, they could see Sirius and Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford making out on Harry's Transfiguration desk.
"Oh, Destinee Violette whatsit," muttered Sirius. "You're my favorite person in the entire world! With your hair of starless curls, and your eyes of dancing meadows, the most beautiful eyes in the entire universe. . .you're so much better than my stupid, boring godson! Everyone says I'm perverted for dating my god daughter, but I don't care!"
Harry's jaw dropped, and he ran from the room, sobbing. Hermione followed after him.
Sirius and Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford continued going at it, oblivious to the plight of Harry. Sirius continued muttering to Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford, difficult to do as his lips were currently plastered to her face. But then Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford suddenly pulled away from Sirius's grasp.
"Destinee-whatsit, what's wrong?" asked Sirius.
"I can't do this anymore, Siri-chan!" she sniffled.
"Siri-chan?" muttered Sirius, but then continued with the more important issue at hand. "Wait, why can't you go through with this? Don't you know you're my One True Love?" he pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Sirius," she said, gazing sadly at the man dressed like a drunken member of the Backstreet Boys. "I don't love you." Dramatic soap opera music began playing. "There's. . .someone else. Goodbye, Sirius." Sirius began sobbing and clutched the hem of her shimmering spring lavender robes.
"Noooooooooooooo!!!!! Don't leave me, Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford!"
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford pulled his hands off and walked out of the room. Sirius ran after her. "Who is he?" he snarled.
Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford sighed dramatically. "That adorable Remus Lupin." She skipped off merrily to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Office.
"R-remus?" said Sirius to himself softly. His best friend, Remus? The last of the Marauders? How could he? Sirius had never felt betrayal like this. Oh, sure, there had been that Wormtail thing, but Peter had only sold his best friends and godson to Voldemort and sent him to hell-on-earth for twelve years. He had never stolen Sirius's One True Love!
Sirius knew what he had to do. He pulled a long dagger out of his pocket, even though he had a perfectly good wand, and nodded grimly. He would have to kill Remus Lupin.
***
Harry lay on his bed, head cradled in his arms, body racked with sobs. He was more miserable then he had ever been. Nothing the Dursleys had done had compared to this. Even Voldemort had never hurt him so badly. This shook his faith in everything that he had thought true.
"Harry?" said Hermione softly, coming into the boy's dorm.
"Go away!" he shouted at her, and then burst into more sobs. Hermione didn't understand. She couldn't understand. Hermione was smart and pretty and had a loving family. She had so much going for her. She'd never understand Harry's dilemma.
"H-Harry. . ." she said, "I'm really sorry. Those things Sirius said, about you being dumb and boring and kinda smelly, I'm sure he didn't mean it. . ."
Harry sat up and wiped his glasses which were soaked with tears. "I-it's not that. . ." he said miserably, controlling his sobs for the time being.
"What is it, then?" Hermione asked kindly.
"It's just. . ." said Harry slowly, "all my life I thought. . .that my bright green eyes were the most beautiful in the world. But now I see it- how can I possible compare to Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford's brilliant orbs of passionate jade?" He collapsed into sobs once again.
"Erm. . .sorry, Harry," Hermione said tentatively, patting him on the back dubiously. Harry continued to clutch the bed as his body was wracked with sobs.
"'Mione?" He said eventually. "Sometimes. . .sometimes I wish Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford had never come to Hogwarts! Why couldn't she have stayed at Saffire-Sparkle with her stupid house-elves? I WISH I WAS DEAD!" he shouted suddenly. Hermione gasped and grasped his arm tightly.
"No, Harry! I mean, I know you're upset about your. . .eyes and all. . .but sitting around here moping isn't going to help! Maybe you should do something productive?"
Harry stood up and broke out into a wide grin. "You're right Hermione! And I know exactly what I have to do to feel better!" he laughed and Hermione laughed, too.
"Quidditch?"
"No," said Harry, as if this was obvious. A mad glint appeared in his eye. "I have to puts them out."
"Puts them out?" asked Hermione nervously. "Put what out?"
"Her eyeses, precious," said Harry with a wide smile and gleaming eyes. Hermione back up against the wall.
"Y-you mean. . .you're going to kill Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smytheford?"
Harry nodded slowly. Hermione jumped up quickly.
"Kick-ass! Count me in!"
Author's Note~ Hey, everyone! Thanks for your great reviews! Motivated me to actually write more.
Some of you have expressed concern as to whether Destinee Violette Morningstarr de Smythford will die. No, of course not! She's so cool! She's going to marry Remus and-
Don't worry. She will die an appropriately gory and painful death.
NO MORE STORY UNLESS I GET 459,267,412.555 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!