10.16.03- It's about time! I missed writing this fic… it's lots of fun. :3 So, yes, I decided to blow off college essays/college applications/schoolwork in order to finish the second chapter, which I have been working on for about four months now. -_-
Grrrrrr… my dad deleted the scanlations for volume 1. He left all the OTHERS, though… -_-
This is really random, but today in English we were going around the room spontaneously naming things that we would dream that we would be (for a poetry project thing). I said a cat, for lack of anything else, even though I really wanted to say a washing machine. ;.; I regretted not saying a washing machine, so then when one of the girls couldn't think of anything, our teacher asked for us to give her ideas. I overcame my chronic fear of being the center of attention and shouted, "A WASHING MACHINE!!" Everyone burst out into laughter. I was happy. ^^ They don't usually appreciate the things I say…
Oh! I'm already halfway done the third chapter!! XD It's… okay. Really strange so far… I tried to get the bashing AWAY from Hikaru and Akira… ^^;;; And so far, there are three cameos in the chapter… and they're all from HikaGo, I PROMISE. (Unlike THIS chapter… *cough*)
This chapter is… a little odd. Then again, all of them are. It's mostly Touya-bashing this chapter, I think… heh. ^^;; Anyway, let's get on with it!
The Camping Trip of DOOM!!
By Umeko
Chapter Two: "Wimpy Akira and Shounen-Ai Implications"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Akira, Waya, and Isumi crawled out of their tents, blinking in the early morning light. "What is it, Shindo?"
Hikaru pointed to the tree where his bag of ramen had been hanging the night before. "Someone stole my ramen!!"
Waya slapped his head. "You should have known better than to leave it out! Some bears or raccoons probably got to it."
"I hung it in the tree so that the bears and raccoons COULDN'T get to it!!"
"Just forget about it, Shindo-kun," sighed Akira.
Hikaru paused. "Did you ever call me 'Shindo-kun' before this trip?"
"Uh…"
"I think that's just the author's idiocy," Waya grumbled. "But jeez, you're slow, Shindo…"
Hikaru glared at Waya. "You're making no sense. And YOU!!" He turned back to Akira, pointing at him with his fan. "You will come with me to search for my ramen!"
"I'm WHAT?!"
"That's actually a good idea," Isumi commented, wanting to get the two younger pros out of the way in order to make breakfast without burning the entire campsite down. "So you two run along."
"Yaw-RIGHT!!" Hikaru grabbed Akira's arm and began dragging him into the forest. "Let's go, Touya!!"
***
"Ow!" Akira cried, running into the third tree in a row. "Shindo, stop it!"
"I'm not doing anything!"
"Yes you are! You're dragging me into all these trees!"
Hikaru growled. "I'm doing no such thing!" He whipped around to face Akira, but as he was still holding his wrist, Akira was swung into yet another tree.
"Ow! Shindo!" He pulled his arm away, rubbing his head. "You so did that on purpose."
Scoffing, Hikaru answered, "Did not."
"Shut up."
"YOU shut up! We need to find my ramen."
Sighing, Akira followed Hikaru for a short while longer, managing to NOT run into any trees. Suddenly, he gasped. "GASP!! Shindo!!"
Hikaru ran to where Akira was standing. "What? Did you find my ramen?!" he begun scanning the ground, as if maybe, JUST maybe, his huge bag of ramen could be hiding under a leaf or a pebble or something.
Akira pointed. "Look."
And sure enough, there it was. A cigarette.
Hikaru paused. "Okay… and…?"
"How dare somebody litter our mother earth?!" he fumed. "I AM SO ANGRY NOW!!!"
Still a little confused, Hikaru asked, "So… are you going to pick it up or anything?"
"NO WAY!!!" Akira screamed. "Cigarettes are EVIL!!!"
Sighing, Hikaru picked up the cigarette. "Come on, Touya. Let's go back to the camp."
Akira followed, careful to keep a safe distance away from the stick of death. "Ew, Shindo, I can't believe you're touching that! It's all gross and disgusting! I'm not coming near you EVER again, Shindo!!"
"Fine with me," Hikaru sighed.
"I bet you smoke ALL the time, Shindo!!!"
"Shut up."
"I WILL NOT SHUT UP! Shindo, you… you… DRUG ADDICT!!!"
***
Isumi and Waya looked up from the fire they were attempting to build.
Waya poked Isumi. "Hey, Isumi-san, did you hear that?"
"Yeah." The taller boy nodded. "Touya said that Shindo's a drug addict."
They paused.
"I'M GOING TO TEACH THAT KID A LESSON!" Waya yelled, standing up and punching his palm.
"No, Waya!" Isumi managed to hold him back. "No violence!! We need to convince Shindo that drugs are bad by TALKING to him!!"
Waya calmed down. "You're right."
Sighing, Isumi let go of his grasp.
"BUT I'M STILL GOING AFTER HIM!!!" He stomped off into the woods, and a few minutes later, came back pulling the two boys by their ears. "SIT DOWN!!" he ordered.
"Ow, why'd ya do that, Waya?!" Hikaru moaned, rubbing his ear. "I didn't do anything!!"
"YOU LIE, SHINDO!!" Waya yelled, pointing at Hikaru. "You did something VERY bad!!"
"I REALLY didn't do anything!" Akira cried. "Why did you pull MY ear?!"
"I just don't like you, Touya."
"Now, Shindo!" Isumi took over. "I will have you know that drugs are VERY unhealthy and you are NOT to touch ANY!! So get over your addiction!"
Hikaru slapped his forehead. "I'm not a drug addict!"
Isumi and Waya turned to Akira.
"He is!" he exclaimed.
Waya turned back to Hikaru, glaring. "We know you're lying, Shindo."
"No, no! I'm really not!"
"Then what is THAT?!" He pointed to the cigarette that Hikaru was holding. Isumi shook his head in shame.
"No, listen." Hikaru took a few breaths, trying to calm down. "Touya and I were in the woods looking for my ramen, right? Then Touya saw this cigarette on the ground and started freaking out because someone littered. But he refused to pick it up, so I did so that it could be thrown out. Then he accused me of doing drugs."
Again, Isumi and Waya turned to look at Akira.
"I wasn't going to pick it up!" he responded. "Cigarettes are gross!"
The two older pros groaned, realizing what had REALLY happened.
"Shindo, just… just throw it out," Isumi mumbled.
"THANK you!" Hikaru did so, then came back and hit Akira over the head with his fan. "You're such a wimp!"
"Ow!"
Waya walked over to Isumi's car, grumbling. Opening the trunk, he took out two cardboard boxes. "We're having dry cereal for breakfast."
Isumi cocked an eyebrow. "Why did we try to make a fire, then?" He gestured to their tiny, nanoscopic fire that went out a second later.
"Why not?" Waya shrugged. "So, we have two choices: Sugared Shougi Flakes or Granola Go O's!"
"GO O'S!!" everyone shouted. "GO RULES!! SHOUGI DROOLS!!"
***
Back in Tokyo, Kaga's Spidey Shougi senses started tingling, but he paid no attention.
***
So everyone ate their Go O's and were happy because Go is the bomb. The were also very energized for the day ahead of them, because Go O's are a part of this complete breakfast!
Hikaru grabbed a handful of the cereal. "Touya, let's play a game with the Go O's!!"
"We don't have time!" Isumi quickly interjected. "We're going to hike up the mountain today!"
"What mountain?" the young 'uns asked.
"The one that nobody noticed until now, over there!" He pointed east, and - lo and behold! - there was a GIANT mountain and everyone wondered why they didn't notice it before.
"We're climbing up that in a day?" Akira asked incredulously.
Isumi laughed. "No, in HALF a day! We'll spend the other half climbing DOWN. It isn't as big as it looks, so we'll be able to reach the top in time for lunch."
"YAY!!!" everyone cheered.
So everyone packed up and went to the mountain.
"All right!" Isumi exclaimed as everyone stood at the foot of the mountain. "Now, let's climb that mountain!!"
"YEAH!!" everyone cheered.
"Hold it!" said a voice. They all turned around to see a man with a long nose, big lips, eyelashes, and curly dark hair. He wore a cap, goggles, brown overalls, and a nametag that read "Hello! My name is Captain Usopp-sama!!!!!!"
Everyone stared. Waya leaned towards Isumi. "Hey, Isumi-san. Is this becoming a crossover or something…?"
Isumi shrugged. "I don't know. I think it's just a cameo." Then he turned to Captain Usopp-sama. "Um… can we go up the mountain, please?"
Captain Usopp-sama shook his head. "You have to pay a toll to climb this mountain!"
He sighed. "All right, how much?"
"Ten berries each."
Everyone stood there for a moment. "Um… we have yen, is that okay?"
"NO!! The payment MUST be in berries!!"
Everyone briefly considered challenging him to a game of Go for their right to go up the mountain, but they quickly disregarded the thought, since it would have SURELY taken too long.
Akira sighed. "Look, if you let us play in yen, we'll… ahh… bow to you like a king."
"Hmm…" Captain Usopp-sama rubbed his chin. "All right. Just because I'm the camp manager."
"HOORAY!!" So everyone paid Captain Usopp-sama ten yen.
"Okay, now bow to me."
"NEVER!!" Then they all ran up the mountain, leaving Captain Usopp-sama in the dust. They laughed evilly the ENTIRE way up, because not only did they leave without bowing to Captain Usopp-sama, ten yen is only, like, eight cents. And that's pretty cheap.
Around noon they reached the summit. Then they realized that they had foolishly been laughing for about three hours, so they stopped and abruptly sat down.
"Well, let's set up our picnic, shall we?" said Isumi.
Hikaru blanched. "A… picnic? Ugh… Last picnic I had was when I was eight, and Akari…" He shuddered. "It was horrible…"
"I haven't had a picnic since I was four," sighed Akira wistfully. "Otousan took me to have lunch at the park…"
"Akira," said Touya Kouyo as he packed away their food, "now that we are done with lunch, let us have a nice, rousing game of Go."
Akira nodded and took a giant goban out of a picnic basket that was surely too small to carry it. He and his father began playing, but not three moves into the game a four-year-old Hikaru jumped out of the bushes.
"Go is stupid! It's for old men!!" He pointed at Akira's father. "Like you!!" Then he kicked the goban over, scattering the stones everywhere.
"Hey!!" shouted little Akira, as Hikaru ran off cackling evilly.
"My memory!! That's not how it happened!!" Akira glared at Hikaru. "Shindo, why must you ALWAYS show up in my daydreams?!?"
Isumi and Waya, in the process of setting up, froze, and Hikaru stared at Akira strangely. "…I'm in your daydreams, Touya…?"
A blush crept across Akira's face as he realized what he had said. "Not like that!! I mean that you are always messing up my thoughts!!"
Still, nobody moved.
"…Touya…"
"Oh, just forget it, Shindo!!" He stomped off and sat facing a tree, fuming.
"Touya!!" Hikaru stomped over to him. "I don't appreciate you copying me like that!!"
Akira glared up at the other boy. "I'm not copying you, Shindo!!"
"I'm the one with the moping tree!!"
"Well, I'm not moping!! I'm fuming, there's a difference!!!"
Isumi and Waya sighed, shaking their heads, and continued to set up for their picnic.
***
"Shindo-kun, could you please pass the salt?"
"Why, certainly, Touya-kun!"
Hikaru and Akira chuckled warmly, flowers, hearts and bubbles surrounding them. Isumi and Waya, observing this spectacle, fidgeted uncomfortably.
Hikaru sighed and gazed at the bright blue sky. "Isn't it just a lovely day, Touya-kun?"
"Yes, very much so, Shindo-kun!" Akira picked up a plate and held it out to Hikaru. "Have you tried the deviled eggs, Shindo-kun? They're absolutely devine, Shindo-kun!!"
"Uh, Touya," Isumi ventured, "those aren't deviled eggs. Those are just plain onigiri…"
"Oh, thank you, Touya-kun!" Hikaru took a 'deviled egg' and ate it happily. "Yes, Touya-kun, these ARE delicious! Have you tried the roast beef, Touya-kun?" He gestured towards a bag of potato chips.
"No, I have not, Shindo-kun!" Akira took a chip and ate it. "Oh, Shindo-kun, how delightful!"
Waya gritted his teeth. "All right, spill, you two! What the HELL is going on here?!"
Hikaru and Akira turned to look at Waya, eyes glittering. "Whatever could you be talking about, Waya?"
He slapped his forehead. "Five minutes ago, you two were fighting about a damn tree. Now you're acting like you're the best of friends or something!!"
Akira giggled. "Why, that's because Shindo-kun and I are the best of friends, Waya!"
"Yes, yes," Hikaru nodded. "How correct you are, Touya-kun!"
"Aren't I always, Shindo-kun?"
"Of course, Touya-kun!"
"This is ridiculous," Waya grumbled. "What the hell did you put in their food, Isumi-san?"
Isumi put up his hands. "I had nothing to do with this. They were like this when they sat down to lunch."
"Can't you fix it?!"
Isumi paused, then walked over and took Hikaru's fan.
Hikaru froze. "Oh, how dreadful, Touya-kun! Isumi-san has taken my fan, Touya-kun!"
"Fear not, Shindo-kun!" Akira stood up. "I'll get your fan back for you, Shindo-kun!!" He slipped the fan back out of Isumi's hand and gave it to Hikaru. "For you, Shindo-kun!"
"Oh, Touya-kun! How can I ever repay you, Touya-kun?!"
"Just promise to be my best friend forever, Shindo-kun."
"Oh, I will, Touya-kun, of course!"
Isumi shrugged and sat back down next to Waya as the two boys continued giggling.
"What was that supposed to do?" asked Waya.
"I thought that maybe, if I took Shindo's fan away, he'd break down and then Touya would start yelling at him that it's just a stupid fan."
"Well, it didn't work."
"Obviously."
They sat there for a few more minutes, watching the hearts and bubbles, before Isumi stood up again, clapping his hands.
"Okay, everyone, let's climb down the mountain now!"
"Whaaaat?" Hikaru pouted. "I wanted to look at the beautiful scenery with Touya-kun some more!"
Akira nodded. "Yes, I wanted to look at the scenery with Shindo-kun as well!"
"Too bad!" Waya grabbed the two boys by their ears as Isumi packed up at lightspeed, using his magical powers that he learned in China.
Or not.
"Oh, Touya-kun, isn't this just dreadful?" sighed Hikaru as he was dragged along the ground.
"Yes, it certainly is, Shindo-kun," Akira agreed. "But I don't mind as long as I'm being dragged with you, Shindo-kun!"
"I feel the same way, Touya-kun!"
And the two boys giggled happily.
***
"Goddammit, Touya, that's MY side of the tent!!"
"Don't be an idiot, Shindo, your side is THAT one!"
Isumi and Waya sighed. "I can't decide which I liked better," Isumi groaned.
"This is really getting on my nerves, Isumi-san."
"Well, it's only…" Isumi counted on his fingers. "Five more days…"
Waya hung his head. "I want to go home."
"So do I, Waya… so do I…"
Akira suddenly fell out of the tent. "Ow!"
"Haha!!" Hikaru stuck his head out of the tent-flap. "Now the ENTIRE tent belongs to me! Sucks to be you, Touya!!"
"Shindo!!" Akira banged his fists on the tent, sobbing. "Let me in!!"
Isumi sighed again. "I'm getting to bed."
"Me too."
"SHINNNNNNNNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Before we go on to the commentary, I'll answer the reviews!! ^^
covetous lotus - Did I ever say that there wouldn't be any shounen-ai? Well, if I did, I obviously lied or something. :P I mean, there's probably not going to be any straight-out shounen-ai, just hints and stuff. Um… big hints. ^^;;;
RcA - I'm glad you liked it!! I find it hilarious whenever I read it, also… and I WROTE the fic. o.O (By the way, you can just call me Umeko. I changed my name from Umeko the Beatnik Emu, anyway. :P)
Lauren-sama - Wow!! I didn't know I could have that much of an effect on people… that goes for the previous review, also. o.o Yeah… sometimes I don't MEAN to exaggerate those cliches, but… it just sort of happens. ^^;; That annoys some people, but I'm glad it didn't annoy YOU. And yes, I continued… but it wasn't exactly "soon"… .
Ringo Nonohara - Hmm… that's one vote for shounen-ai, and one vote against… Most of the shounen-ai hints that I'll do will probably be Hikaru/Akira or whatnot, anyway.
HoShi - Yeah… I think "out there" is an accurate description. ^^;;; Oh, yeah, about Waya's comment… I suppose that I, er… forgot that there are non-writers reading the stuff on ff.net. ^^;;; Heheheh… yeah…
kireira - Um… is that another person who I have apparently influenced without intention? How does this ALWAYS happen…? Anyway, I'm happy that you found it funny! As I said earlier, I do also, and I wrote it, but that might just be the fact that I'm very easily amused… "I-do-what-I-like-You-got-a-problem?" Yeah!! That's EXACTLY what I think whenever I write!! XD Hmm… sounds kind of arrogant… OH, WELL!!! I DO act a little arrogant online (even though I'm the exact OPPOSITE in real life… x.x)…
They're in character?! Really?!! Oh, hoorah!! I can't usually retain character in stories like this!! Oh… I am… so happy… *tear*
Aelys - Alrighty!! ^^
Akujunkan - Um… hmm… is this a good review or a bad one? *pokes the review* I'll just say… it's a GROOD review!!!
Halcyon Clouds - I think that maybe I was unintentionally trying to have him act like that, actually… Considering Akira's little daydream in this chapter, it might very well be true. o.O
Kay -cocacat15 - Well… this is being put up almost two months AFTER receiving your review… is that okay? ^^;;;;;
All right! Now to the commentary!!!