A/N: Well...... I finally updated!!! 19 reviews for 3 chapters, not bad. I missed all of my wonderful reviewers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hugs them randomly and (done by Caranardaiel's request) I give you-

100 ways to torture Bellatrix Lestrange

Bellatrix's Date

"Hello. I'd like to reserve a place for Bellatrix Lestrange."

That's when she saw him.

He was the hottest human on earth.

Sure, he didn't have much of a neck, and was slightly overweight, but she didn't mind.

The blond hair and muscles was what made her so attracted to him.

He was perfect.

And he was coming her way!!!

She quickly smoothed out her hair, hoping she looked beautiful.

"Hello," he said. "I'm Dudley Dursley."

Of course you are, you huge hot hunk! Bellatrix thought.

"I'm Bella," she said shortly, not telling him her real name in case it was on the Muggle news. "Wanna go out?"

"Sure, hottie," the hunk was FLIRTING with her!!!

"Bellatrix." Came Mad-Eye's gruff voice. "I'll show you to your room."

"Just a moment, Maddy, I'm mingling with the crowd." Bellatrix couldn't take her eyes off the Hunk. He was as hot as Draco, if not even more.

"No you don't lassie, you're coming with me!"

"Ok, ok. Don't get your knickers in a twist." Bellatrix followed Mad Eye.

Moody led her through long passageways, and they passed by many, many doors.. After 7 turns left, 3 turns right, Moody stopped, took out a key, and unlocked her door.

"This is your room," he said, and left.

It was perfect. All covered in green and black, her two favorite colors. A huge and comfy bed. A huge tub. Even loads of Muggle stuff she could ask the Hunk to tell her what they are.

She left her room, locked it, then went to search for the Hunk, who was in the cafeteria, next to another person.

"Hey, Bella, baby," he greeted her. "This is my father, Vernon."

"Pleasure to meet you Vernon," Bellatrix told the Hunk's dad.

"So," Dudley said. "Why are you here? I mean, why did they bring you here? They brought Dad here because he had a habit of imagining ghosts, and I smoked too many fags."

"Fags?"

"Cigarettes. Thin things you light up and smoke."

"Oh."

"So why are you here?"

"Screamed Avada Kedavra at a 5 year old." Vernon's eyes grew wide with fear. "Honestly, Mug-I mean, people these days. Just scream a bit of blah at a 5 year old and you get whisked away."

"Duddy-kins," Vernon said slowly. "This woman is a witch. Take your things and run!"

There was no Muggle on Earth that feared magic after they knew about it. But, as people in Voldemort's inner circle knew, there was-

"Dudley and Vernon Dursley," Bellatrix said softly. "Harry Potter's uncle and cousin."

"RUN!" screamed Vernon.

"No, it's ok," Bellatrix tried to help them calm down. "I hate the Potter brat too. And I don't have my wand here."

Vernon relaxed.

"So, how did you meet the Potter brat?" Vernon said.

"Had the pleasure of torturing him and murdering his godfather," Bellatrix said plainly, like things like that happened every day.

"His stupid godfather he's always talking about? The escaped convict?" Dudley asked.

"Yes... but he didn't murder 13 people with one curse, didn't have enough strength to do it. Was always a chicken, that Sirius. It was Pettigrew who murdered them."

"You knew his godfather?" Vernon asked.

"He was my cousin," Bellatrix said. "But he was always too thick and too stupid. Him and Andromeda, my sister, were the rotten eggs of the family."

"Oh."

"Everybody!" yelled a man in white robes. "Time to go to bed!"

Bellatrix groaned as she walked to her room, and got into bed.

Once she was in bed, she felt her entire body aching, like somebody was squeezing her very tight, but she was used to pain. She fell asleep very soon.

In the morning, she immediately went to the cafeteria, were she sat down with the Hunk and his dad.

As soon as his dad left, she and the Hunk's faces grew closer, and closer-

"Lestrange!" a familiar gruff voice bellowed. "I'm taking you away."

It was Mad-Eye, coming to ruin her life.

Again.

She had no choice. She knew Mad-Eye would hex her if she didn't listen to him.

She followed her to his taxi.

A/N: I know, I know, this chapter sucks, but it was the longest! And don't worry, next chapter will be better than this one! I promise!