Kirsten closed the door to the patio and sighed. Ryan was lying down when she left him but she knew that he wouldn't sleep. She was worried about him. The whole time he was talking, she could see the pain in his eyes, the fear, but his face was controlled. The boy wouldn't let his guard down.
"Hey, honey." Sandy walked in, laden with bags, Chinese food and gifts for Ryan that he had been keeping in his office.
Kirsten kissed him.
"What's wrong?" He asked immediately.
"Ryan's sick. He's running a high fever. And his father is calling."
"His father? I didn't know they were in contact…"
"They weren't. Ryan says they haven't talked since he got sent to jail. He turned the ringer off."
"He didn't talk to him?"
She could see Sandy's mind clicking with possibilities. "No. You know Ryan, he never says anything except the bare facts."
Seth stepped into the kitchen. "What's all this?"
"It's Ryan's birthday," Sandy responded. She watched as Seth flinched and stepped back. She had assumed he knew.
"What? And you didn't tell me?" Seth gasped.
"He hasn't said anything?" Sandy asked, surprised.
"When does Ryan ever say anything? Oh god, I'm going to best friend hell…" Seth said.
"He seemed really surprised that we remembered," She admitted.
"So where is he?" Seth asked.
"He's lying down. He's sick. How are you feeling?" She asked. Seth and Ryan were practically inseparable apart from their ladies so he son could have been exposed to the virus, too.
"I'm fine. God, he didn't say anything…" Seth said.
Kirsten embraced her son. "I should have told you."
Sandy sighed. "The only reason I knew is because of filing taxes and insurance forms."
She turned and glanced outside. It was still raining. She couldn't stop thinking about Ryan's terse statement that he didn't celebrate birthdays. How could a kid not celebrate his birthday?
"What did you get him?" Seth asked.
Sandy pulled a birthday cake from one of the bags. "A cell phone. Some of those wife-beaters he always wears to make us feel inadequate. Some books and DVD's. He's impossible to shop for."
"Should I go get him?" Seth asked.
Sandy glanced at her.
"Let him rest. Why don't you wrap the gifts while I put on the candles?"
Seth reluctantly accepted the offered bags from his father and went into the den. She knew he was upset but she also thought that Ryan wouldn't hold it against Seth for not knowing.
"I'm going to go make some calls about Ryan's father." Sandy stepped out.
She nodded. Sandy would know what to do. He'd know what to say to Ryan to make him smile. He had to smile on his birthday.
She went to the counter and opened the candles. Methodically she placed the candles in an arc around the "Happy Birthday Ryan' on top. The takeout could wait. She needed to check on Ryan again.
She probably cared about him more than she'd ever admit. She loved Seth and would never jeopardize their relationship because of Ryan. She kept Ryan separate. Seth had to come first but no one should be able to tell. She was terrified that Seth would resent her if she showed Ryan too much affection but she was also terrified that Ryan would never accept his place in the family if she didn't give him equal treatment. Somehow, she knew it was wrong, she should love Ryan as a son but for now, all she could do was treat him as one.
She didn't get her umbrella, she just hurried through the rain to the poolhouse. She didn't knock. The bed was empty and the phone was ringing.
She picked it up and put it to her ear. "Hello?"
"Can I speak to Ryan?"
"He's not here. Can I take a message?" She didn't recognize the man's voice but it was low and threatening to her. She didn't like this man.
"Who are you?" The man snapped.
Kirsten turned and saw Ryan leaning against the bathroom door with a concerned look on his face. She didn't know why he'd be concerned. "I don't have to give you any information. Can I take a message? Maybe a number?"
"I'm Ryan's father and I want to talk to my son."
"He's not here," She repeated sternly. She glanced up again and saw that Ryan had closed the bathroom door. He was sick.
"Ma'am, I don't want any trouble, I'm sure you're very nice but I just found out that my son's mother kicked him out…"
"You're a few months behind the times," She replied. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't like anything she'd heard about him or anything she'd heard from him.
"I love my sons."
"Are they supposed to infer that from no communication from you at all?" Kirsten snapped. She regretted it instantly. She shouldn't disrespect Ryan's father. Especially since she really knew nothing about their relationship.
"I write them. I write letters twice a week. Ry…he never wrote back."
She didn't believe him.
"That bitch, Dawn…I…she never gave him my letters, did she?"
"I don't think you should call here anymore. Ryan will contact you if he wants to talk to you."
"I need to talk to him."
"I will tell him that. Goodbye." She hung up and turned the ringer off again. She wondered why Ryan had turned it back on. She knocked gently on the bathroom door.
"Ryan?"
He opened the door. "Sorry. I got sick so I'm out of bed."
"Do you feel any better?"
"Actually, yeah. Purged my system just then." The boy smiled slightly. Not a birthday smile. He was trying to placate her. He sat down on the bed, tiredly. He looked exhausted.
"There's cake and presents for you inside."
He didn't respond immediately. He seemed to be thinking. She knew that he always thought about things before he spoke. She wished he could teach Seth that skill. "Cake?" He asked finally.
"Yes. Birthday cake and ice cream. Then we have Chinese food."
He shook his head. "Pass on that."
She ruffled his hair. He was a good kid. He was still hot to the touch. She knew he must feel awful but he would never admit it. She wanted to talk to Sandy about what Ryan's father had said to him before she told Ryan. She wanted to ask him about his father, she wanted to find out what had happened between them, but it wasn't her place. She'd talk to Sandy first.