*** *** ***

Sano stared at the ceiling.
The weak, white light that danced along the cracks of the windows indicated
it was about two, three in the morning. He'd learned to read the
illumination like that as a child, wondering how long it would be until the
sun would rise again, until he would have survived another night.
He hadn't slept a bit.
He couldn't sleep, not now, not after seeing the fear in those soft eyes,
knowing it mirrored his own, and not being able...
Kenshin... he seemed so vulnerable, so shy, so... lonely, even. The tears
he'd shed for Sano's past were not ones of pity, they were ones of empathy,
and Sano had learned the difference between the two long ago.
What happened to him? Why would he... why would he understand?
Those same questions had gnawed at him since the moment he'd set foot
outside Kenshin's bedroom door. Just a few minutes, he whispered aloud,
feeling his voice scratch, remembering the pure anguish in the redhead's
eyes even as his lips condemned their sudden weakness.
He'd wanted to hold him so badly, suddenly, inexplicably. He'd not put his
arms around someone since... since Yahiko was five, and he was convinced
that the sky was going to fall down after a nightmare he'd had that one
time... That had been so long ago. And he'd held him to soothe him, to
assure him that nothing bad would ever happen to them that they couldn't
bounce back from. When Sagara-sensei had died, they had lived. They'd lived
because they had to. They had to live on, because if they died... it would
only be giving in. They couldn't give in. They had to be strong, for sensei
and for themselves.
But he'd reached out and drew the trembling little redhead close, for
reasons he didn't understand then, and struggled to know now. Why...? Why
had he needed to hold him so?
And why had Kenshin let him?
This can't happen'... what couldn't happen? And why not? This'... the
only this' had been... an urge he couldn't explain...
He wasn't stupid, of course. He was fully aware of what had at first drawn
him to the counselor... it wasn't the deepest of emotions, but Kenshin was
indeed beautiful... with his long, soft hair, gentle smile, jewel-like eyes
and that pure, sweet voice...
It was what had kept him there that confused him. What had made him tell
Kenshin all those things about his past. What had made him... trust in him.
Sano opened his eyes again and glared at the floor. He couldn't sleep. He
hated not being able to sleep.
Well... only a few hours before dawn.

*** *** ***

Sano let his chin thump onto the cold table, closing his eyes with a heavy
sigh. So now he was tired. Couldn't be tired when it was convenient. Had to
fall asleep in first period. Only period he had any chance of passing. But
not... today...
Oi. Didn't attack anybody this morning? Slacking off, are we?
Sano didn't have the strength to life his head or open his eyes.
Leave m'
Tsukioka Katsuhiro plopped down across from him and popped the lid of his
latex paint. Sano groaned and wrinkled his nose.
Put that crap away. Smells bad.
Well, so do you, and I can't put a lid on you.
I think I like you better when you're high, Sano grumbled, then hid his
face in the sleeves of his jacket. Not so damn annoying.
You sound like you've got quite the hangover.
Sano yawned profusely and cracked open one eye to watch Katsu
paint, studying the intensity in his cool blue eyes with a detached
interest. Oi. Baka yarou. Do my project for me or I'll beat you up.
Go ahead. You'll have to get in line.
Sano growled and returned to hiding.
He'd known Katsuhiro for what seemed like forever. Katsu had lived down the
road from the orphanage he'd inhabited, and gone there after his school for
tutoring from Sagara-sensei. They'd grown up like brothers, and still
treated each other as such.
But it did him little good when Katsu refused to do his work for him.
C'mon. Yer a little girly boy. You should do what I tell you.
My mother could take you, Sano.
That's cause yer mother's damn scary.
You only say that because she doesn't like you.
Sano glared at him forbiddingly. Katsu eyed him in return, unimpressed.
Sano sighed and hid in his jacket again.
So tired...
Katsu chuckled and returned to his painting.
Excuse me...
The voice was far away and muffled through his jacket, but Sano's ears
caught it nonetheless. He blinked, then sat up a little to investigate.
Himura Kaoru stood in the doorway, frantically trying to get the attention
of Sano's negligent art teacher, who at the moment was heaping caustic jibes
upon someone who had been following Sano's stellar example and attempting to
sleep through class.
Excuse me... she called again, looking helpless.
Finally, she achieved her objective. Having convinced the art teacher whose
name Sano constantly forgot to acknowledge her presence, Kaoru relaxed a
tiny bit. I need Sanosuke Sagara, please.
Sano blinked. he returned intelligently.
Go on, then, Sagara. It's not like you get anything done in here anyway.
Sano cast a glance at Katsu, who was busily painting paisley patterns on
the table, then shrugged and managed to stand, swinging his nearly-empty
backpack onto one shoulder. He made for the door before that nameless
teacher could change his mind.
'Hayo, he said with some attempt at cheer. What's this
about?
I dunno. Kaoru looked at the floor, her shoulders slightly tensed.
Sano felt his brow furrow, but they walked along in silence for a while
before he got the nerve to speak up. Oi... jou-chan, it's not like I'm
gonna rip your throat out or anything. Relax, huh?
Can you say that for sure? Her voice was icy.
Sano blinked, then sighed. he said softly, if your otou-san's
charity keeps up, you're gonna have t' deal with me eventually. I... I'm not
a bad guy, y'know.

Sano protested, not sure why, but feeling a lot was at stake
here. I, uh... all right, here's a thought for you. Remember the guy who's
elbow I broke?
I remember seeing his tendons hanging out his sleeve, if that's what
you're asking.
He winced, then firmed his voice. Player on the baseball team, right?
Not anymore.
D'ya know why?
Kaoru looked up at him briefly, and her eyes were unreadable. No, I don't.
But I'm sure nothing would justify-
He was talkin' with a couple a' his buddies how cool it would be to have a
certain girl forced to attend to their ev'ry need, and makin' plots on how
t' achieve that end. And I'm not talkin' gettin' em drinks, either.
Kaoru's eyes grew wide.
I just may have saved your ass, Sano said seriously.
She abruptly stopped walking, staring at the floor.
Look, I'm not sayin' that I had a stellar purpose behind all those fights.
But I wouldn't go that far without a decent purpose. I'm not as bad as all
that. Sano grinned faintly. I'm too sentimental sometimes, I think.
I don't know what to say, she said softly, and he could see her shoulders
shaking slightly. Her voice quavered. I- I thought-
Sano winced. Aw, don't do that, he protested helplessly.
I really hated you for that, she whispered.
Sano took a hesitant step closer to her, ignoring the few student who
drifted by, hall passes in hand. he said softly, Daijoubu.
Daijoubu yo.
She blinked up at him, looking unsure, shy, like a little girl. Sanosuke,
I...
Sano winced, cast a glance about, then hestitantly held open his arms to
her. Don't cry, jou-chan. Daijoubu. I'm not gonna hurt you.
The tears that threatened her eyes overflowed, and she stood there looking
helplessly up into his eyes, clutching the office pass in her hands. Sano
couldn't for the life of him figure out what had brought on the sudden flood
of tears, but attributed it to the things about girls that he had no chance
of ever understanding. He stepped a little closer and hugged her gently.
Kaoru collapsed against his chest with a little sniffle.
Anou... Sano patted her on the back. Kaoru clutched at his
shirt. Unsure, but knowing she wasn't going to let go anytime soon, Sano
sighed and hugged her awkwardly. He'd never been very good at this kind of
thing...
She held onto him for a few minutes, crying softly. Sano tried to ignore
the strange looks they were getting from passerby, and patted her hair
gently.
Ya gonna be okay,
...I think so. Kaoru pulled back from him, rubbing her eyes, then cast
her gaze shyly to the floor.
'S okay. He smiled and ruffled her hair. Why do I hafta go t' the
office, anyway?
Oh! Right! Kaoru blinked, flustered. Uh... I dunno. I don't think it's
anything too bad, though. No one looked too upset.
Always a good sign. Sano set off down the hallway, hoping she'd follow.
He may as well get this over with as soon as possible, and get back to his
nap. Katsu would do his work for him if he bothered him about it long
enough. He always had before. It was the only reason he'd passed any of
those art classes, anyway.
Anou... Sanosuke... Kaoru caught up with him after a few seconds. He
slowed his pace, remembering with an internal sigh that her legs were
shorter than his. Rather shorter, actually.
Sano looked down at the top of her head, shoving his hands into his
pockets.
Anou... how long will you be staying with us, exactly? Kaoru sounded just
this side of sheepish.
Sano said quite solemnly. I've got a job, but I dunno how long
it'll be til I can scrape together enough for a deposit on another
apartment. I mean, Yahiko still grows like crazy, and he's not gonna be
stopping any time soon, so I have to buy him new clothes every couple
months, it seems. Sides that, my car keeps breaking down, and I- oi...
He stopped speaking, confused, as Kaoru began to giggle softly. Oi,
jou-chan, I'm glad you can find humor in my crappy life, but that's not
quite polite, y'know.
Kaoru shook her head, smothering her laughs into both palms. It's not
that... you just sounded so much like tou-san right then. If you'd finished
with but don't worry, Kaoru-dono, everything will be just fine', it would
have been him exactly.
Sano chuckled, then draped a spontaneous arm over her slender shoulders.
'Zat so, jou-chan? You'd think you could tell us apart by how we look...
I'm the tall one, y'know.
She laughed and leaned against his chest lightly. Y'know, maybe you're not
so bad after all, she conceded with a bright smile. I guess Misao was
right.
Well, I guess she was. Sano grinned down at her.
Himura Kaoru... he'd known her only by reputation and occasional sightings
at pep rallies and class meetings. She was in the Honor Society, and had
been a cheerleader for a little bit, before she'd quit in a huff of apparent
embarassment. That girl had dropped the baton more than any of the others
put together, but she'd kept trying and trying until she couldn't try any
more. There was something admirable in that, no matter how painful it had
been to watch.
He wasn't sure even to this day just why he'd stepped in to protect her
virtue that day. He'd started seeing her in the office only the week before
that, and it had been apparent her desperate crush on the baseball player.
Still didn't know his name... Burr? Something Burr, maybe. But no matter who
he was, he had decided to take advantage of that girlish infatuation for all
he could. And for some reason, Sano refused to stand for it.
He was glad, though. Kaoru seemed to be a nice girl.
They walked on, talking quietly in Nihongo and laughing to each other,
Sano's arm around her shoulders, Kaoru's head against his shoulder,
unwitting of the gaze that followed them from down the hallway.

Misao! MISAO! Kaoru waved frantically, trying to catch her delinquent
sister's attention.
I don't think she hears you, Kaoru.
Kaoru winced, then turned with some trepidation to face the blond girl who
stood behind her in the lunch line. She hated the way she and so many others
pronouced her name, murdering it to something that sounded like
cow-oh-roo'. The middle syllable wasn't really necessary... but it was
useless to try and enlighten them. They didn't care, anyway.
Hi, Samantha, she returned with fake cheer. I didn't hear you come up.
With those giant platform shoes of yours, it's a wonder.
Yeah... so, when are you joining the field hockey team, Kaoru? We've got
too many graceful players. Maybe you could help us out, y'know, block up the
holes.
Kaoru simmered. It was never a good idea... to... to... oh, who was she
kidding. I doubt it. With my kendo training, I'm sure I'd just be another
run-of-the-mill. Eat that, you snide little-
With a sigh, Samantha brushed her long hair from her flawless
face. Kaoru thought of the many tiny scars that laced her body from numerous
trips, spills, and erroneously placed kitchen knives and tried to suppress
helpless jealousy.
I saw you walking with Sanosuke this morning, the other girl informed,
her voice ominously light. Kaoru twitched. The emphasis is on the first
syllable, not the second, and the u' isn't pronounced...
I was taking him down to the office, Kaoru offered, clueless as to the
malice in her green eyes. They had to give him some letter about the
absence policy.
Oh? Then why did he have his arm around you? So you could be sure he
wouldn't run away? Her cool voice fairly dripped sarcasm.
Suddenly, the pieces fell into place, and Kaoru blanched. It was an
unspoken rule that if a member of one of the girl's sports teams had her eye
set on a particular boy, and you did something to interfere with the
subsequent , a good deal of trouble would come your way. The
student body was very hierarchial that way, and those with influence
generally had it better than those who didn't. She'd heard about Samantha's
efforts to gain Sanosuke's regard, and even though they were always
monstrously unsuccessful, most people seemed to be under the impression they
were already going out.
Kaoru backed up a little, raising her hands before her chest, prepared to
laugh this off and apologize. Her pride was worth a lot, but her record was
worth more. Look, Samantha, it was only- we were only-
Only what? she snapped. What's your excuse, Kaoru? You know full well-
Her pride was worth more than this. Kaoru noticed the large crowd that was
beginning to gather, and grimaced. Misao was standing by the door, and her
eyes were large. Beside her stood a figure Kaoru was becoming quite
acquainted with; Sanosuke had a hand on Misao's shoulder, as though
restraining her from jumping forward. His dark eyes were considering, but he
made no move to interfere.
Tou-san, what would you do?
What I know, Samantha, she broke in, letting her eyes flash in vexation,
is that you've no right to tell me what to do regarding Sanosuke. She made
an effort to pronounce it correctly, rising to stand straight and balance
her weight equally on the balls of her feet. Even if there was something
going on between us, which there is not, you do not own him. You never have
and most likely never will. She paused a moment to savor this. The blond
girl had been torturing her with those snide barbs coated in unbearable
sweetness ever since they'd met in middle school, always winning class
elections, getting the teacher's favor because she was so perfect, and now
the one thing she couldn't get her hands on... He doesn't like you. Get
over it.
Green eyes flashed in fury and desperate need to deny the truth of her
statements. That's not true! You don't know anything!
Kaoru reacted to the weak punch she threw with the conditioning of years of
martial arts training, stepping to one side and catching her wrist. Thwarted
yet again, Samantha twisted and kicked her legs out from beneath her. Kaoru
fell amidst the rising cheers of the bystanders, but kept her hold on the
girl's wrist strongly enough to drag her down as well. Right before she hit
the tiled ground, Kaoru yanked hard on Samantha's arm, planting a foot in
her ribs and pushing the opposite way with all her strength.
This wasn't dojo fighting. She didn't have to play by the rules anymore.
Samantha broke her hold, and as Kaoru was finding her feet again, she was
dimly aware of the sound of metal scraping over tile. Dismissing it as
someone moving their chair to get a better look, she rose to her feet.
The last thing she heard before the chair leg crashed into her temple was
Misao screaming her name.

The minute the blond girl's hands closed on the chair leg, Sano dropped his
backpack and pushed through the crowd that had gathered in front of him.
That crazy onna! What did she think she was-

Misao's voice sent the coldest of chills through his spine.
he cried in a sickening terror, breaking the circle and
blindly shoving gawking teenagers to either side. The girl lay collapsed on
the floor, a mark standing crimson on her cheek and temple, already
beginning to swell.
Samantha still held the chair, staring down at her handiwork with a horror
on her perfect face. Sano spared her no more than a glance, then tenderly
lifted the fallen girl into his arms as a father would hold a newborn child.
he whispered again, shaking her gently. She moaned softly,
then slumped against his chest. He grimaced, then raised a cold gaze to
Samantha. She's still alive, at least, he said quietly, then stood,
lifting her off the floor.
Is she- The younger girl's voice shook.
Knocked out. I'm gonna take her down to the nurse. You go tell the office
and your Sano cast a quick glance around the cafeteria. They'd
cut out the cafeteria supervision to handle lunch detentions a while ago. It
was times like this he really hated the administration.

Sano halted only for a moment, but refused to look back at her pleading
voice and exited the cafeteria with the unconsious Kaoru in his arms.

he called strongly, kicking the door. Oi! Open the door!
The door to the nurse's office creaked open, and Sano growled in annoyance,
knocking it open the rest of the way and carrying Kaoru inside. I got a
girl in some real trouble here!
You- Oh, my... The unfamiliar voice floated in behind him, apparently
having been hidden in the tiny office. What happened?
She got hit with a chair, Sano said curtly, laying Kaoru gently onto the
cot. Where's the real nurse?

Sano looked up, then blinked. A young woman stood behind him, peering at
Kaoru. She appeared not much older than himself, if she was at all, with
long black hair and quick dark eyes.
The stand-in nurse flicked a disinterested glance at him, then knelt down
beside Kaoru and began to examine the wound. Sano glared at her.
Oi. Do you have medical training, or ya just watch alotta TV?
I'm in med school. Now, either produce a reason I should be worried about
you or let me take care of this girl. Her voice was as short as his had
been, and she didn't even favor him with eye contact, seeming absorbed in
her new patient.
Sano blinked, dubiously impressed. Anou... okay, then. Her father works
here, he'll probably be in here and underfoot within seconds of hearing, as
will her sister. Her name's Himur- aagh, Kaoru Himura.
Who might you be, hmm? A soliticious bystander? The boyfriend? Or did you
hit her with the chair? She finally raised her eyes to his, and something
approaching mischief glittered there.
Sano glared at her. I'm a friend of hers, he snapped in reply. Sanosuke
Sagara.
I see. I would be Meg. Meg Thompson. Now get out from underfoot.

*** *** ***