*** *** ***

Well, that wasn't any help, Sano hissed under his breath, shelving yet
another book against the wall. It was the fifth psychology book he'd read
through this period, and not a bit of good it had done him.
All those books had been useless. Everything he'd found in them had been
information he'd already known, or cleverly disguised in language he'd need

a dictionary at his right hand to ever hope of understanding. And no matter

how dedicated to this cause he was, it wasn't in Sagara Sanosuke's nature
to
have that kind of patience.
He cast a frustrated glance over the shelf, noticed some dusty book he
hadn't seen before, then prepared himself for the worst and pulled it down
to be inspected. It wasn't like he had anything better to do this period,
and if it helped him to understand Kenshin a little better, it would
definitely be worth the headache.
he muttered aloud, paging to the index.

Sano's first reaction was to drop the book. His second reaction, though
preferable, was regrettably impossible, since he had no sharp and pointy
objects on his person with which to end this torture before it started. So
he gave up, seeing as he was cornered against the wall and a bookshelf
anyway.
he offered aloofly.
Samantha Craven smiled, her green eyes sparkling, and Sano winced. I'm
surprised to see you here, she purred, obviously pleased that he had
acknowledged her existence. Never struck me as the intellectual type...
Sano eyed her cautiously, wondering distantly if it were physically
possible to vault over her head and make a break for the door. Deciding he
probably wasn't quite that flexible, he tried to make it evident he was
looking for something in the book. Realizing that he was no longer holding
the book, Sano growled and bent to pick it up.
Samantha leaned down next to him, too close, and Sano attempted to scoot
away. Not succeeding in the slightest, only managing to back himself
further
up against the wall, he cursed his inability to deal with women as annoying

as this and tried vainly to think of another escape route.
I'm so glad you're not angry about that.. incident a few weeks ago, the
girl practically oozed. I mean, I'm sure Kaoru can't be what a guy like
you
would look for in a girl, and she seemed so sure that you... well... you
know.
Sano took a deep breath, feeling the air shake in his chest, a hot pain
stabbing beneath his breastbone. he manages to grit out,
struggling to hold back the all-too-familiar rage at her off-hand reference

to that... that... , as jou-chan would say, with her fondness
for
loaded words. Whaddya mean, incident'? She coulda been seriously hurt!
If only for an instant, Samantha looked confused, even a little worried,
but soon enough that sugary, self-assured smile reappeared. Oh, no... it
wasn't that bad, it couldn't have been. I'm not as strong as you, y'know...

with your... tightly muscled... powerful arms... she purred, laying a hand

against his bicep. Sano twitched, suddenly very uncomfortable. I'm sure
she
was just trying for attention. She gets little enough from the boys, poor
girl.
Dunno why, Sano retorted, his protectiveness for the jou-chan speaking
for him before he even thought. She's a great girl, y'know. She's smart
and
kind and funny, and pretty nice-lookin', too. Guys around here are just
idiots who go for the quick fix.
Samantha blinked at him, taking her time comprehending his impassioned
statement, then shifted her weight to meet his eyes better, her fingers
drawing lightly along the line of muscle in his arm. Sano shuddered and
jerked away, not enjoying her touch in the slightest and not bothering to
hide it.
It almost sounds like you like her better than me, she commented. Her
tone of voice was flirty and teasing, as always, but there was a hard glint

of developing jealousy in her eyes. That can't be the truth, hmm,
Sanosuke?
I mean, really...
What if I do like her better than you? Sano felt his own tone grow deeper

in his chest, almost forbidding, his lips tightening to white and jaw
squaring. He set the book down gently on the shelf, his hands clenching
into
fists by his sides as his eyes narrowed to glittering dark slits. Samantha
stared up at him, the slightest hint of fear beginning to flutter in those
deceptively innocent verdant eyes so expertly framed by the best eyeliner
and mascara money could buy. Sano thrived on it, as he always relished the
process of someone so inadequate realizing how weak they were.
There'd be nothing you could do about it, he whispered, voice rumbling,
the ominous preceding song to a savage thunderclap. You know that, don't
you.

I never gave you the privilege of using my first name, he growled, still
letting it build. I never gave you the privilege of being involved in my
life or messing around with the people I love to satisfy your own
jealousy.
Samantha continued to stare up into his face that was so steadily darkening

with violent rage, tears that stemmed more from girlish frustration than
grief or fear puddling in her eyes. But- she- I- what could you possibly
want from her? she protested with a cry. I- I could be so much better for

you! In every way! She's nothing compared to what I could-
Himura Kaoru is more to me than you will ever be, Sano whispered.
But I want to be-
Get away from me! Sano exploded, slamming a fist against the bookshelf,
feeling the wooden boards crack under the power of his strike. I don't
want
you anywhere near me! Or Kaoru! If you so much as look in her direction
again I will make you regret it with every breath you take the rest of your

cursed life! So get away from me and STAY AWAY YOU CRAZY BITCH!!
She broke before his fury and fled, those contemptible tears falling over
her flawless cheeks, smearing her makeup and reddening her perfect eyes.
Sano watched her run out of the library, sobbing, one hand before her eyes
and the other clutching her hall pass to her chest, with the thinnest of
smirks curving his bloodless, white lips.
No one had the right to talk about jou-chan like that. The girl was... she

was like a daughter to him... and he wasn't about to tolerate anyone
talking
about her unless they were worshiping her like a goddess. It was no more
than she deserved, after all.
Hey, Sanosuke! Good job, there...
Sano yelped, jumping out of his reverie. Familiar, mischievous eyes peered
up at him, a hand punching lightly at his chest. Just staring off into the

unseen world after you make that poor innocent girl cry her soul out into
her agenda, eh, Sanosuke?
Hi, Kelsey, he said sheepishly.
Kelsey grinned up at him, continuing to poke. Always the heartbreaker,
huh? One a' these days you're going to regret that, y'know... Some pretty
man's gonna show up and stomp your heart to pieces just t' even out the
cosmos.
Sano scowled, sidestepping the constant prodding. I doubt that... he said

calmly, patting her... him... Kelsey on the head. He was yet to figure out
exactly what sex Kelsey was. She... well, she, for lack of a better
pronoun,
seemed pretty feminine, but there was something about her... some
undefinable quality that made him wonder...
Oh? Oh? Do tell...
he retorted. Where's your stoner of a boyfriend?
Kelsey flounced up beside him, then cocked her head and cupped her hands
around her mouth. Oh, maaannnn slaaaavveeee... she called with a pretty
smile.
Katsu poked his head into the aisle, evidentially having been hiding
out in the history section. He held a thick book to his chest, the title
something about Indian sculptures.
Kelsey frowned warningly. You're supposed to be looking up post-romantic
period painting styles, she reminded, sauntering over to his side and
snatching the book from his arms. Katsu protested with a wordless whine,
trying to grab it back. Kelsey scowled and shoved him back into the aisle
from whence he had came.
Look for the right books. Not these pornographic... hey... Her voice
trailed off. I'm gonna have t' inspect this more closely, I think...
Sano smiled, then returned to his research as their bickering faded into
white noise. They fought enough, after all, and not one serious problem had

resulted from any of those scuffles. Katsu and Kelsey were like an old
married couple, and it was obvious who wore the pants.
But Sano's not working-
I don't CARE! He's got an excuse, and you don't, and this project is due
TOMORROW. If we get another bad grade, you're gonna have some groveling t'
do to keep that pretty little head on your SHOULDERS.
What excuse? He just doesn't wanna do any-
If you would pay ATTENTION, you would remember he said he was at the
hospital all last night.
I was busy last night, too...
We were watching Brendan Fraser movies last night!
See? Busy!
TSUKIOKA KATSUHIRO!!!
...yes, dear.

Oi, Sano...
Sano lifted his head from the cafeteria table, snuffling and wiping his
eyes. He was so tired... What, Katsu? he asked quietly.
His long-time friend sat down across from him, placing his tray down and
considering him with curiously clear blue eyes. It was obvious that Katsu
was as non-medicated as Katsu ever got, and that never did bode well.
Katsu wasn't the most innocent of people, though he wasn't as bad as some.
He refused to touch anything that had the possibility of doing him
immediate
harm, or would cost enough to be obvious to his parents. The only
substances
he would deal with were the most diluted strains of marijuana or powerful
over-the-counter drugs. He had his reasons for doing so, reasons that Sano
knew a little of but hadn't pried into. Sano didn't ask Katsu why he
frequently came to school bruised up around the jaw and high as a kite, and

Katsu never asked Sano why he sometimes wore the same clothing three days
in
a row, or why he never ate during lunch unless someone gave him food. It
was
just how they were.
I know this is out of character, Sano, Katsu said softly, but I have to
ask you something.
Sano sat up, an uncomfortable heat burning in his chest. he
responded, voice barely escaping his throat.
Katsu gazed at him sadly for a moment, then sighed. Why were you in the
hospital? he asked quietly. What happened?
Sano's throat closed up, and he fought to maintain his
composure. He'd been all right, as long as he'd focused on other things...
reassuring jou-chan, looking for information, taking care of Yahiko and
making sure he got to school okay... but now, as it had in that hospital
room, a sense of overwhelming helplessness and sickening fear...
Something... something happened to Kenshin, he choked out, fisting his
hands below the table. Something, I... I don't know... He...
Katsu looked briefly alarmed, then fell to silence. Sano
shuddered, staring at the Lysol marks on the table. Is that why neither of

his daughters are here today?
He left it at that.
What happened? he interrogated gently.
I dunno... he had a... breakdown... Sano whispered, squeezing his eyes
shut.

He shook his head, unable to continue. It hurt too much... and he didn't
know why...
You've been living there how long? There was some peculiar quality to
Katsu's voice that he couldn't pinpoint, and Sano lifted his head again in
confusion. Katsu was looking at his uneaten lunch, a strange smile curving
the edges of his mouth.
Almost three weeks. His voice shook, and Sano bit his lower lip to keep
it from trembling, hating his weakness.
You're in love with him, aren't you.
Sano whispered without thinking. I- I-
His lips froze on the word love', and he stared at the table, his heart
pounding in his chest, beating frantically at his breastbone. The cold
sweat
that overtook him slickened his palms, and he wiped them against his jeans
mechanically. What... what was he saying? He... he loved... no... he
couldn't be... It was a mere physical attraction, that was all... He
couldn't honestly be-
Sano. You think I didn't know? Katsu's tone was gentle. I pay attention
to you. You're like my little brother, bakayarou. I know this stuff about
you.
Sano stared at the table, unable to breathe. I can't be in love with him,

he managed to rasp out, quivering. I can't...
It's okay, Sano.
No, it's not! he snapped, fists clenching. I can't, don't you get it? He

thinks I'm just a kid! No matter how I much I embarrass him, no matter how
much he runs away and tries to pretend he has no idea how I feel about him,

it never registers enough in my head, y'know? I can never understand that-
that- that he-
That he what?
That he'll never want me!! Sano exploded, voice hoarse with pain he
didn't bother to hide, knowing that Katsu would see it anyway. He'll never

want me! I'm just a kid to him, I'm only nineteen! I'm two years older than

his oldest daughter, Katsu. His DAUGHTER, for God's sake!!
Katsu stared at him wordlessly, cool blue eyes quiet and mournful. Sano met

his gaze, shuddering in emotion, nails digging hard into his palms, lips
pulled white in an attempt to restrain himself.
Just wait and see what happens, he said finally. That's all I can tell
you.
They sat in silence for a long time.
Hey, guys, what's- huh? Kelsey's cheery voice trailed off into confusion,

and she glanced between the two boys in confusion. What... what happened?
Is everything okay?
Sano took a brief glance at her, then returned his gaze to the table. He
saw Katsu shake his head a little out of the corner of one eye.
Kelsey's voice became quite serious, a rare emotion for her, and
she sat down beside Sano instead of her usual position attached to Katsu's
hip. Sano blinked, lifting his head to peer at her in confusion.
It's something about Mr. Himura, isn't it, she said somberly, laying a
hand on his shoulder. Sano stared at her dumbly. She sighed and hugged him
reassuringly. It's all gonna be okay, honey.
Sano shook his head and gave up, closing his eyes. It didn't matter

how they both knew, before he had known for sure, before he'd been willing
to admit it... it didn't matter. None of this mattered at all. It didn't
matter what they thought. It didn't matter how he felt. All that mattered
was...
Nothing would come of it...
He felt the smallest, bitter tear escape his closed lids, and he wiped it
away. He'd been blessed enough in the past month... with a solid place to
live, people who were good enough to watch after his brother, who didn't
view him as an intruder, even though he was... He had no place asking for
anything more.
No matter how much he wanted it.

*** *** ***

Oi. Give me a ride home.
Go ride your bus, bakayarou. Sano dug into his jeans pocket in the daily
search for his keys. I can't give you a ride t'day. Gotta get Yahiko and
get back to the hospital.
Katsu caught up with him, clutching his latest painting to his chest,
scowling petulantly. I'll go with you, then.
No, you won't. Sano eyed him, then shoved him back in the direction of
the bus lane with only a tiny exertion of his muscle. Katsu didn't weigh
too
much. On a day like this, with the heavy autumn winds, it was a wonder he
didn't just blow away. Go ride your bus. It won't kill you.
I hate the bus. This is fragile, y'know. Katsu indicated his art
assignment with a nod, hurrying to fall back into step beside him. You
wouldn't want something to happen to my painting...
Tell the truth, man, can't say as it'll break my heart. Sano shoved him
again with a nasty grin. Yer such a wimp. Can't even protect your own
schoolwork.
Just because I'm not a brutish philistine like some people...
Sano growled and pushed him harder. Go catch your bus, girly boy. Not
gonna help you. I may be a brute', but I'm one with a car and a vengeful
attitude. I'm gonna blast past that cheesewagon of yours on the road and
laugh.
Katsu pleaded. You know I didn't mean that...
Your bus is leaving.
Katsu blinked at him hopefully. Sano shook his head. He scowled and took
off running.
Sano smiled to himself and continued the long trek down the parking strip
to his car, parked illegally on the grass. It was the school's own fault
for
refusing to give him a space. They could deal with it. Besides, he got out
faster than anyone else. Anything that got him off school property faster
than anyone else was an immediate personal victory.
He checked his watch, then sighed and hurried. Yahiko would be getting out
of class soon, and he needed to be there to pick him up, or else-
Is this your car?
Sano froze at the unfamiliar voice, prickles going up the back of his neck
and setting his heart pounding. He wasn't sure just why... the tone sounded

unassuming enough, but there was some quality there, something that was
scaring the living daylights out of him and telling him he should be
running
for his life about now.
Yeah, it's my car. What about it? he retorted sharply, hurrying over to
the driver's door and searching for the source of that voice.
A tall figure stood on the end of the walkway, silhouetted in the shade
cast by the sun filtering through the setting sun. He could see the crimson

light of a burning cigarette, the ashes falling to scatter on the broken
concrete of the sidewalk.
It's parked illegally.
The coolness of the man's voice unsettled him to distraction, and Sano
tried to keep his hands from shaking as he unlocked his door. So? At least

it's parked. What do you care, anyway? S not like it's hurtin' anybody,
and
gets me off the property before I'm forced to kill somebody. He was fully
aware of how much he was rambling, but he made sure his tone was scornful
enough to maintain his outward composure. Inside, he was shaking like a
leaf, and he'd just as soon get out of that parking lot as soon as humanly
possible. As it was, he couldn't seem to get the key into the lock.
Starting tomorrow, I would advise that you find someplace else to park.
The shadowed man turned his back, headed back towards the school.
Sano stared after him, then raised his trembling voice. Who the Hell are
you, anyway? he called at him, finally getting the door open and prepared
to bolt if he didn't like the man's answer.
Officer Fujita. I'm assigned to your school now. The man paused, dropped
his cigarette, then ground it beneath the heel of his boot. I'm sure we
will have a long... association.
Sano stared at his fading figure, a hand clenching on the door handle,
until a nail digging unmercifully into his palm brought him back to the
mundane reality that he had to go pick up his brother now.
He got into his old car and started the ignition, trying not to let the
memory of those amber eyes that had burned out of the shadows cross his
mind
again.

*** *** ***