No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred. Copyright belongs to others and no infringement is intended.
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"What is your name?"
Hogan stood in the background in Klink's office as Hochstetter started questioning Tiger, using all his strength not to step in and pull her away from this small but dangerous man. "I don't think she's ready to answer any questions, Major," he said.
Ignoring him, Hochstetter asked, "What were you doing out in the woods, fraulein?"
"Major, she doesn't look like she's about to open up any time soon," Hogan added. He looked at her, leaning over in her chair, her clothes dirty and torn, her face streaked with dirt, hugging her body, looking at no one, and shaking.
"Why were you out there today? Who are you?" Hochstetter asked more forcefully, bending in close to her ear. Tiger just rubbed her arms.
"Gee, sir, is that any way to treat a lady?" Hogan asked.
Hochstetter slammed a glove down on the desk near Tiger's face. She flinched. "I want answers, fraulein!" he bellowed.
Hogan pulled away from the wall and moved toward Hochstetter. "I don't think she's deaf, Major," he said. "I think she just wants to clean up and be spoken to nicely." He stepped forward and put himself in front of Tiger, looking into her eyes. "No one here will hurt you, I promise," he said to her. Tiger's eyes softened as she silently acknowledged Hogan's reminder of his earlier vow. "Not even Major Hochstetter. He might seem like a monster, but he's really just doing his job—"
"What is this man doing here?" Hochstetter finally roared. He pushed Hogan out of the way. Looking affronted, Hogan pulled back. But now Tiger's eyes remained on him. He tried to settle back into nonchalance, but it was hard now, with his chest aching and his nerves on edge. Still, he managed a faint smile, with just a touch of cockiness in his expression, to comfort her.
Hochstetter placed his hands on either arm of the chair and pushed his face within inches of Tiger's. Hogan frowned and Tiger lowered her head. "Fraulein," Hochstetter said quietly, almost sweetly, something that worried Hogan even more than his shouting, "Colonel Hogan is right. It is not my job to hurt you; it is my job to make sure that the security of our troops is not compromised. Now, if you can simply tell me why you were lurking around the woods near a prisoner of war camp, perhaps we can finish this matter altogether."
Tiger glanced at Hogan, who made no protest, and said her first words. "I did not think it was against the law to walk in the woods. There are no fences around them," she said in a low voice.
Hochstetter immediately pounced. "Your accent—you are French!"
"Very good, Major," Hogan applauded. "I'll bet you can tell my nationality, too." He tried a boyish grin to keep Hochstetter off-balance. Tiger could only watch him in action with some amazement. A man in his condition, a man in such a situation, playing like a cat with a mouse—with a member of the Gestapo! Ah, perhaps you can do something about these tanks after all, she mused.
"Klink! Get this man out of here!" Hochstetter demanded. He turned back to Tiger as Klink said nothing, and instead gave Hogan a dirty look. "Mademoiselle, you are in Nazi Germany," Hochstetter said, again all sweetness. "Are you aware of that?"
"It's hard not to be—all those big flags, all that saluting," Hogan quipped.
"What is this man doing here?" Hochstetter exploded.
"Hogan, return to your barracks until you are required," Klink said.
"Oh, sir, that's not fair!" Hogan protested. "You want to leave me out of all your grand plans."
"Plans? For what?" Klink asked.
"'For what?'" Hogan echoed, sounding incredulous. "Oh, you're a sly one, sir. Waiting until I leave to tell Major Hochstetter your brilliant plan to use this woman keep the French subdued. I should have known, sir—nobody tells me anything." Hogan turned with a sigh.
"Wait a minute, Hogan," Hochstetter said. Hogan paused and turned back to the officers. "Klink, what is this plan?"
"Yes, Hogan, what is this plan?" Klink asked quickly. Hochstetter looked at him severely. "Hogan says it so much better than I," he added.
"Well, rumor has it that these tanks are supposed to be heading into Paris, right?" Hogan began. Hochstetter gave a start when Hogan mentioned secret maneuvers, but then simply nodded. "So what better way to convince the stubborn French that it's best for them to stay in line than to have a poster girl of their own to lead the way?"
"A 'poster girl'?" Hochstetter asked.
"Well, sure!" Hogan said. "You take a pretty girl—she'd probably scrub up nicely," he said, gesturing casually toward Tiger, "then you stick her in a tank, take a few photos, get her smiling and enjoying herself, show them to the French people and voila, instant submission. I know I'd submit if I had a chance to be with her long enough." Hogan grinned at the Germans, purposefully avoiding Tiger's eyes, which he had seen flare when he started talking about keeping her countrymen submissive to the Nazis.
"Hogan, that is ludicrous," Klink said dismissively. "Pictures of one woman aren't going to stop the French from being stubborn."
But Hochstetter was deep in thought. "You know, Hogan, I think you may have something there," he said.
"That's what I said, Hogan, you may have something there," Klink amended.
Hogan tried hard not to laugh. Ah, the old Klink flip-flop. "Oh, Colonel Klink has a brilliant plan, sir. Get Herr Oppenheimer to have her all dolled up, posing on the tank, hopping in and out, gaily posturing for the Third Reich—why, any Frenchman would go mad looking at her, and the thought of spending the Thousand Year Reich with someone like her would be much less disagreeable than spending it with someone like Goering."
Hochstetter grimaced at the visual comparison. "Of course; that is right," he admitted. He came out of his private thoughts. "Very well, this will be done. Klink, get Herr Oppenheimer in here."
Klink called out for Schultz, who immediately entered the room. "Schultz, go find Herr Oppenheimer, and tell him we have an assignment for him."
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," said the Sergeant, having a long look at Tiger. "Herr Kommandant, what is to become of the girl?" he asked.
"Why don't you see if you can find some nice clothes for her, Schultz?" Hogan suggested. "Then she can get cleaned up and something to eat and…" He trailed off as he noticed Schultz's confused look.
"Never mind, Schultz; just do as he says!" Klink bellowed.
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," Schultz muttered, shaking his head. "Clothes for a girl in a POW camp?"
As the door closed behind him, Hochstetter turned back to Tiger. "Now, my dear, there are some things we need to learn about you. What is your name?"
Tiger looked quickly at Hogan, then back to Hochstetter. "Juliet," she said simply.
"Ah, how lovely!" Klink exclaimed. Hogan looked up at the ceiling.
Hochstetter turned to the Kommandant. "Quiet, Klink," he scowled. Then his eyes returned to Tiger's face. "And what were you doing out there today, my dear?" he asked.
Hogan felt nauseous at Hochstetter's attempt at sweetness. "Maybe she'd like her lawyer present before she answers any more questions," he quipped. Hogan watched Hochstetter's hands shake and his face suddenly go red and thought the time was right to end this. "Listen, she'll probably feel more like talking when she's not sitting here in dirty clothes surrounded by men she doesn't know, who can take her away and have her shot. Kommandant, why don't we put her in Barracks Four—"
"We?" Hochstetter repeated, incredulous.
"Sure," Hogan said, ignoring Hochstetter's real meaning; "it's empty. Then she can get cleaned up, and have some privacy, come to the dinner tonight, and then by tomorrow she'll be ready to go, right?" He looked at Tiger, offering her a hopeful smile.
Tiger nodded, tentatively.
"There; see? You just have to know how to treat a woman." He came up beside the chair and offered his arm. Tiger stood up shyly and took it. "I'll escort her to the Barracks, Kommandant. Tell Schultz to meet us there."
And, flabbergasted, the German officers let them leave the office. It wasn't until they were already out of the building that Hogan heard Hochstetter explode.
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"Are you all right?" Hogan asked Tiger, as the pair crossed the compound to Barracks Four.
"Oui, I am fine. But you are not well," Tiger said in a whisper. She looked at the stream of sweat pouring down Hogan's face with concern.
Hogan reached up to rub his eyes and then to try and calm his throbbing chest wound. "I'll deal with that later," he said, trying to sound dismissive, but not quite succeeding. "Right now we've got bigger things to deal with." He glanced over his shoulder to see Hochstetter approaching, with Klink racing to keep up. "We didn't expect Hochstetter to be here so quickly. Play along with me. We've got a tunnel into this building now; we'll be in later to check up on you. Don't worry. Okay?"
"D'accord. I trust you," she said.
Hogan paused. That was the second time she had told him that. He didn't know if he was worthy of it. "Let's hope you're not foolish in that trust."
"I am not," she said, certain. Hochstetter was nearly upon them. "You must go. Colonel Hogan—please, see your Sergeant Wilson. You cannot help if you are unwell."
"You'd be amazed at what I can do," he replied. But the look in her eyes stopped him yet again. "Okay, I'll go."
She squeezed his wrist and entered the Barracks as he opened the door for her. Then he turned and walked away.
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"Thank goodness we've got that tunnel up to Barracks Four now," Carter said, as Hogan relayed the details to them. The ceremony had been broken up when Tiger was discovered and brought into the camp, and the men were eventually allowed to go back to their huts. They had scrambled to listen on the coffee pot listening device they had planted in Klink's office, but they had missed some of the conversation, and then missed even more thanks to everyone talking at once.
Now, Wilson was with the men in Hogan's room, trying to check the Colonel's dressing, but not without difficulty, as the American wouldn't stop moving. "Well, once bitten twice shy, right?" Hogan said, flinching. Hogan pulled away, shifting on his bunk so he could see his men. "We weren't going to get caught like that again," he said, remembering a time when they didn't have all their tunnels in place.
"Hold still, Colonel," Wilson ordered. Hogan grunted and closed his eyes as a sharp tug from the medic made him feel woozy with pain. "And this time, you won't be getting aspirin either," he said. "This isn't an aspirin kind of wound."
"Fine, fine," Hogan said through his teeth. "But I've got work to do, so let's get this over with." He opened his eyes and looked at his men. "We'll have to check up on Tiger later today. And we've got to sell Oppenheimer on the idea of a photo shoot. He's probably got orders to go back first thing in the morning when the tanks leave."
"Won't Hochstetter make sure that happens?" Kinch asked.
"Probably, but a little insurance policy doesn't hurt," Hogan said. Another quick wince. "We have to keep the good points in front of him. Who's going to be our photography expert?"
"I will, Colonel," Le Beau piped up.
"Excellent," Hogan said. "You've just volunteered to be a consultant. And we have to make sure Tiger gets that little camera Carter developed. But we can't give it to her too early or it might be discovered. We'll get it to her after the dinner, when she's finished being paraded to the Nazis."
"Right, Colonel," Newkirk affirmed.
"Carter, you and Kinch will need to make sure we get near the tanks parked outside, for a little… creative redesigning."
"No problem, Colonel," Carter said. "I've got just the stuff. Nice and small to fit around the equipment, but so powerful it'll knock their socks—" Newkirk shoved Carter's arm to stop him rambling again.
"And I," said Hogan, ignoring all this and lying down as Wilson started to guide him into that position, "have a feeling I'll be in conference for awhile myself." Wilson pulled a syringe out and primed it. "With my bunk." Wilson nodded, and Hogan's men knew it was time to go.