Disclaimer: still not mine, in case you were confused.
A/N: This part has been planned since the beginning 'pre-writing' stages, and I was really excited to get to it. But, it didn't really come out quite right. I can't tell what's wrong with it, but it seems rushed and draggy at the same time. I don't know why I'm telling you this… just read. : )
Thanks to everyone who reviewed any chapters! I love you guys. Every time I get a new one I have to battle with myself to open it in case it tells me to go stick my head in the oven or something. : )
MorganD – the reality issues is my favorite part so far too. Although, there isn't any in this chapter (sorry!) Harry is otherwise occupied…
HoshiHikari4ever – thanks for reviewing three chapters in one day! It made me smile : )
Someone Reading – you made me blush when I read your review : ) thanks for reviewing so much, it really makes me happy to post stuff I would normally leave in a notebook for no one but me to see.
c3electric – thanks for the emails. You made me stop obsessing over this chapter and post as soon as I had time. : )
**********************
Chapter 11: Aug 9th
Harry looked at the box and hesitantly removed the note attached. Slowly, he opened the black envelope and read the small card. There were balloons and a cake in the picture on the front. Inside was a short note:
Happy belated birthday, Harry Potter
He made a mental list of people he had received gifts from already. He didn't know who could have sent this, but thought it could be from some random fan of the Boy-Who-Lived. If he knew where it came from, maybe he could send it back. With that thought he decided to open it and send it back with a thank you to whomever sent it. The owl was still there, watching.
Slowly lifting the lid, Harry looked inside. The attic didn't have enough light by which to see, so he pulled the lid all the way off.
He stared in shock as he tried to scream for someone, but all that came out was a whisper. He couldn't breathe, the walls of the small attic were closing in on him. His whole world seemed to be crumbling beneath him. As the box fell from his hands, a mass of flesh and hair rolled out. While it was still in the box he couldn't be sure, but now he could clearly see it. Harry Potter had been sent a human head. With a second gasp of shock and horror, Harry recognized who it was.
It can't be. No, this can't be real. It's another dream.
No matter what he told himself, he knew that this was very much real. The blank eyes of Dennis Creevey stared up at him from the floor in a mockery of how Dennis, and his brother Colin, had always looked up to him at school.
Harry was trembling head to toe. He tried to move, but his feet seemed rooted to the floor.
Colin. Where is Colin? Did he suffer the same fate as his brother?
Harry still hadn't found his voice, but his feet managed to move some. Still covered by the invisibility cloak, he bolted for the door, down several steps, and out the front door of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Faintly he heard the door bang behind him.
Run.
That was the only thing on Harry's thoughts. Run. He had no direction in mind. His shock, grief, and guilt besieged him, and he ran as fast as his numb legs could carry him down the streets of the neighborhood. He stumbled as pain shot through his scar.
No. No more. Please.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered a sign on the side of the road that read, "Grimmauld Park." Sirius had told him about the park and that his mother didn't let him play there for fear of 'contamination' from muggles or some other such nonsense.
Falling to his knees, Harry clutched his head in both hands and clenched his teeth in pain. His vision swam in front of him for a minute before it was clear again, and he found himself in a room brightly lit with torches burning on the walls.
~~~
As he was forced to watch through Voldemort's eyes, he saw that he was alone in the room. He tried to clear his mind, to get himself out of this place, but before he could, a door opened revealing Bellatrix Lestrange with a perfectly healthy, but deathly afraid Colin Creevey.
No, Harry thought desperately. I won't let you do this. I won't let you kill another. Harry's strained thoughts were cut short as the body he was inhabiting started to speak. He didn't even register the fact that this was the first time he'd ever been aware that he was in a vision as it happened.
"Ah, Bellatrix, how did it go?" Voldemort asked with amusement.
"Very well, my Lord. They actually put up a fight, which made things more interesting," replied the dark-eyed woman. She idly touched her cheek where a large black and blue bruise was beginning to form. "They have a lot of spirit, my Lord. I do hope you have some fun with this one. We did as instructed with the other."
"You've done well this time. You may go." The woman left the room after her dismissal with a deep bow to her master.
"What is your name, little boy?" asked Voldemort in a mock-interested voice.
Colin looked up with pride shining through his fear and answered strongly, "I am an enemy of yours, and there are plenty more like me. We will fight you until you are gone forever!" Harry couldn't help but be proud of this boy he had taught for a short while in the D.A. If the circumstances had been different, he would have made ready a party for this small brave warrior to come home to. Sadly, Harry knew better. He'd been trying ever since Colin came in the room to try and stop Voldemort with his mind. So far it didn't seem as thought the Dark Lord even noticed he was there.
Voldemort simply sounded amused at the boy's reply. "Very well, boy. Crucio!"
As Colin screamed on the floor in agony, Harry was curled forward on his knees with his forehead touching the ground, feeling every bit of the curse being inflicted on the younger boy.
The curse lifted and Voldemort spoke again. "Well, young Mr. Creevey. I was told your name, but I do like for people to properly introduced themselves when they first meet. I am Lord Voldemort, the most powerful wizard there has been for ages."
"You are nothing but a coward," Colin spat. "Professor Dumbledore could force you into a cage in a zoo where you belong, snake. What kind of powerful wizard goes after unarmed children? Afraid of a fair fight?"
"Crucio!" Voldemort called out just as Colin was getting to his feet again.
Through the pain Harry tried to look at how Colin was doing. He seemed to be nearing unconsciousness. Harry had seen enough torture in his visions by now to be able to tell early. Just before he passed out, Voldemort lifted the curse.
"Would you like to know why you are here, Mr. Creevey?" Colin swayed, but forced himself to get up and stand as tall as he could. "I have heard of your great admiration not only of Dumbledore, but also of Harry Potter. I have heard that you and your brother seemingly worship him above most anyone. It is for this reason alone that I called upon my faithful servants to invite you here. Two mudblood children with no talent would not have been any concern of mine, until I heard of your hero-worship of Potter. I believe I have shown what a fool you, and everyone else, are in seeing anything of worth in that meddlesome maggot."
"You've shown me nothing but cowardice. You hide behind your wand because no one would listen to you otherwise. You are jealous –" Colin was cut off by yet another round of the Cruciatus curse.
~~~
Still feeling the curse, Harry felt another sensation. A strong, blunt force hit the left side of his body, knocking him over and to the right.
Rolling down the hill into the park he barely noticed earlier jolted him out of the vision quickly. He couldn't tell if the pain he was feeling was from the curse or the rolling or whatever had hit him. Finally coming to a stop at the bottom, Harry saw his invisibility cloak a few feet away. He thought of grabbing it and covering himself again, but decided it hurt too much to move that far.
"Harry!"
He heard a voice in the distance call his name. He tried to call out but only managed to cough. When he tried again, he only coughed harder and longer until he saw flecks of red in the palm of his hand.
"Harry!" called Sirius, Remus, and Mad-eye Moody together. Harry saw them make there way down the hill and closed his eyes. Colin…
He vaguely felt being jostled painfully, then laid down in dim lighting and realized he must have been back at the house already.
As he tried to rouse himself enough to tell them what happened, a surge of pain stronger than he had previously been privileged to feel surged through him. It felt like he was being crushed from all sides at the same time as being blown up from the inside out. Then every particle inside him was being ripped apart at once, starting and ending at his scar. After an eternity, which was really only a few seconds, it was gone, replaced by the regular pain after the Cruciatus curse. He knew what had happened straight away. Avada Kedavra. It had to be. He didn't know any other curse that could possibly feel like that. Colin was dead. He felt three distinct trails of wetness on his face. Reaching up he wiped away the tears roughly. Tentatively, he brought his fingers up to his forehead and felt a warm, sticky substance. His scar was bleeding, not much, but a small, steady stream.
"Harry?" his godfather's voice called out anxiously. Harry jumped, forgetting the other people were there with him.
He opened his eyes and forced out three words, "Colin's dead too." Then his body took over and forced him to pass out.
There were no visions or dreams, simply blackness. He didn't have long to enjoy it, or seemed not to according to him, before he awoke in a darkened room.
He looked to his right and smiled softly as his godfather dozed in a chair next to the bed, holding his hand. On the left Remus also slept. There was a table at the end of the bed full of potion bottles. He cringed as he realized he would likely have to take them when someone knew he was awake. He pondered just letting the men sleep while he got himself a glass of water, but shot that thought down as he could hardly move, much less get out of bed.
His pain filled movements stirred Sirius who popped his eyes open quickly, then softened as he saw Harry awake.
"How do you feel?" he asked quietly.
"Thirsty," Harry choked out.
Sirius helped prop Harry up a bit, then held up a glass with a straw so Harry could sip some water. Harry was slightly ashamed, but grateful, because he didn't think he'd really be able to hold a glass steady enough to drink. This little commotion roused Remus.
"Hi, Harry. It's good to see you," he smiled.
"Good to see you too, but you guys shouldn't be sleeping on those chairs. They don't look very comfortable," Harry tried to lecture in a weak voice.
"Well, we couldn't very well leave you in here all by yourself, could we?" stated Sirius.
"Yes, actually, I'm sure that was an option. You also have larger rooms with larger beds or multiple beds, so that you and Remus could have been comfortable."
Sirius and Remus looked at each other a minute then grinned.
Remus said, "Harry, you are much to young and injured to be so wise, so we'll pretend we didn't hear that." The two older men laughed softly, and Harry tried to join in, but broke out coughing, which effectively silenced them.
"Drink this," instructed Remus with a potion in hand. Harry tried to grab the goblet, but found that he was right about not being able to hold onto it. Remus's quick reflexes caught it before it left the shaking hands of the boy in the bed. He held it up to Harry's mouth and Harry took it without protest. He was too tired to act stronger than he was at the moment.
"If you two tell anyone how pathetic I am right now, I'll tell them you drugged me into this state," Harry joked halfheartedly.
Sirius and Remus smiled and reassured him that no one would know. He drank the rest of the potions as instructed, plus a little more water, then went back to sleep.
The next time he woke, he found Remus awake on his right and Sirius asleep as Snuffles at the foot of the bed. He stretched as much as was tolerable, and worked to get himself into a sitting position. Remus helped him, and by the time he was at ease again Sirius was awake. Harry felt much more coherent this time around, and didn't remember much of the last time he was awake, only that he had been.
"Hey, kiddo, how are you feeling?" asked Sirius quietly.
"Alright, I guess," he quickly amended that statement after a glare from both men that said they knew he was lying. "Ok, ok, geesh. I'm a little sore, especially my left shoulder and back, and it hurts a little to breathe deep, but that's it. I swear. And nothing really hurts too bad. What happened anyway?" he asked curiously.
"You don't – don't you remember?" sputtered Sirius.
Harry thought back for a moment and his expression darkened as he remembered the owl in the attic… then the vision of Colin. He spoke softly, almost to himself, "Colin and Dennis Creevey are dead. I remember I ran… then pain. It was the Cruciatus and I felt all of it, I think. Then the killing curse; it hurt more than anything I've ever felt before." Harry zoned out into his own little world for a few minutes then shook his head. "Was there anything else?"
Sirius and Remus shared a look, which seemed to decide that Remus would talk this time. Harry didn't think he'd ever figure out those secret messages between them.
"We heard the front door slam, so we came to check it out. We didn't see anyone outside, so we went up to the bedrooms. We found your note to Ron in your room and went to check on you in the attic. We – we found Dennis. I alerted the rest of the Order, who were still in the meeting, and we broke up looking for you. Sirius, Alastor, and I went down the same street you did, with a little help from Padfoot's tracking skills. When we were about a half a block away from you, a car went by and Alastor shouted out to you, but you didn't hear him. Sirius and I couldn't see you, because you had your cloak on, but Alastor saw you get hit by that muggle can on wheels and we ran after you. We finally found you at the bottom of the hill and brought you back here. You slept for about a day before you woke up last night. It's now the morning of the eleventh of August. You were lucky the car only nicked you. You're on bed rest for the next couple days – Poppy's orders – then you should be free to wander about this old house again. " Remus gave him an encouraging smile.
"I don't feel that bad, can't I get up now?" Harry asked.
"If you're feeling that much better, perhaps you would like to begin your Occlumency lessons again, Mr. Potter?" said a gentle voice from the door. Harry looked up to see his smiling headmaster in bright yellow robes with blue confetti falling in a continuous stream from shoulders to hemline. Harry couldn't help but smile at the strange man.
"Er, in that case, I don't think I'll be feeling well for quite some time, sir," Harry said with a little grin.
Sirius added, "Your really do need to start again, though. If you're feeling the full effects of those curses, we need to find a way to stop them."
"I know, Sirius. I was only kidding. I know how important it is. It just seems pointless when I don't get any better at all. In fact I think I got worse last time!"
"If you are speaking of the incident just a few days ago, I'm sure you will be able to get past that. You did splendidly earlier in the summer, I'm sure you can again." Harry didn't really listen to him. He was wondering how Sirius could have betrayed him by telling Dumbledore about what happened when Harry had told him he could only tell Remus. "Professor Snape thought it would be beneficial for me to know about your last lesson, Harry. I must go now. I certainly am happy to see you up again. Goodbye, gentlemen." He left the room and closed the door behind him.
Harry was glad to hear that Sirius hadn't betrayed his confidence to the Headmaster. He had never asked anything of Snape, so didn't really care that he had told the aged wizard about the lesson, although he was still embarrassed for every new person who knew. Sirius and Remus left to speak to Dumbledore before he had to go, leaving Harry alone in the room he'd been occupying for the last few days.
Harry settled back into the pillows once more and tried to relax. He was slowly noticing the whole left side of his body was beginning to throb. He remembered that he had been hit by a car and hadn't even noticed. He must have taken the brunt of it on his left shoulder and side. The longer he laid there, the more painful and difficult breathing became. He thought sitting up might help, so he tried to push and pull his way into a sitting position and gasped in pain from the attempt. Since normal shallow breaths were already causing him pain, the gasp only caused more. He decided the best thing to do would be just to lie as still as possible taking short, shallow breaths.
Sirius came back in with a smile and said, "Remus has gone to tell Ron and Hermione that they can come see you now. They've been very… put out at not being allowed."
Harry would have laughed at his imagined reactions of the adults to a raging Ron and Hermione on a mission to see him. He would have laughed, that is, if his chest didn't feel like it was being crushed, and he was slowly drowning at the same time.
Sirius sat down and noticed immediately the pained expression on his godson's face. "What's the matter, Harry?" he asked apprehensively.
"Hurts," was all Harry could manage to push through his mouth in a quiet whisper.
"What hurts, Harry?" Harry didn't answer, but kept on with his shallow breathing. "Is it your chest?" Sirius asked. Harry nodded weakly. "Ok, just hold on a minute, it'll be alright. Just keep breathing."
Sirius left the room and was back in no time with Remus in tow. The werewolf walked over to Harry's side quickly and put a potion to the boy's lips. Harry drank without question or hesitation, having complete trust in the two men in front of him.
When he'd finished, Remus said, "That was a potion for the pain. You cracked a few ribs and bruised some tissue when you were hit by the car. Madam Pomfrey has set it to heal, but it will take another day to complete. If you ever start to feel discomfort again, don't hesitate to ask someone for the potion, alright? It should be starting to feel better soon." Remus had been patting his hair back soothingly while he spoke in a gentle voice, and Harry was beginning to feel better. He could tell the potion was working and started taking deeper breaths.
"Thank you," Harry whispered, "both of you."
"How do you feel now, Harry?" asked Sirius.
"A little dizzy," Harry answered truthfully. He glanced up at him, then returned his gaze to the table at the end of his bed. He felt weak. Here he was with a couple cracked ribs and whining for a potion, when he'd seen people much worse off in his visions standing up against Voldemort even to their last breath.
"Hey, stop that," said Sirius suddenly.
"W-what?" Harry asked. He'd been zoning out the last few minutes in thought and figured he must have missed something important.
"Stop thinking you're weak. You were hit by a car, not to mention the various curses, for Merlin's sake! You are in pain," he said slowly. "Everyone – anyone would take a pain potion after what you went through. Hell, I'd probably be crying like a baby if it had happened to me," Sirius said with a small smile. "If you weren't in pain, I'd ask a specialist from St. Mungo's over to have a look at you." That earned a shy smile from Harry. "Now, will you promise me something?"
Harry looked at him with some trepidation. Eventually he said, "Maybe."
Sirius sighed. "Will you promise to ask for more potion when this wears off? Madam Pomfrey tried to estimate the dosage time as best she could, but she's never really dealt with this kind of thing before."
Harry nodded and said quietly, "Alright, I promise." After a short pause Harry asked timidly, "Sirius?".
Sirius smiled, "What's up, kiddo?"
"Will you… I mean – what are you doing today?" Harry asked feigning interest.
"I was thinking of staying with you if that's alright," Sirius answered, seemingly sensing what Harry wanted to ask, but couldn't for some reason.
Harry smiled, "I don't mind at all, as long as you don't have more important things to do."
Sirius grabbed Harry's good shoulder gently, but firmly, and said, "Nothing is more important to me than you, Harry. And I guess I'm just going to have to keep telling you that until you believe me." Sirius smiled, if a little sadly, and spoke once more. "Would you like me in here when your friends come in, or do you want me to leave during that?"
Harry thought about it. While Harry would like Sirius to stay, because he knew the man would block any questions pertaining to the Creeveys, Harry felt that he should let the man have a little time to himself. He looked as though he hadn't left the room since Harry arrived, which was probably the truth.
"I think I can handle them alone. Besides, you need a shower and a meal I'm sure. Thanks for, you know, staying with me and all…" Harry trailed off, not really knowing what to say.
"You're what I'm here for," Sirius smiled. "Do you think I can give you a hug, now, or are you too sore?"
Harry rolled his eyes at the affectionate man, but inside he was filled with a feeling of security and warmth that had never been there before. He nodded, and when Sirius hugged him it was very mellow, not at all like the ex-convict's personality. Harry hugged back weakly and closed his eyes. He'd had a similar feeling before, when Mrs. Weasley had hugged him after the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He had wondered at the time if that was how it felt to be hugged by a mother, a parent, someone who cared. Now, he felt the same thing from hugging Sirius. It was all so much to take in at once when he wasn't used to it for the vast majority of his life. He forced that train of thought to derail and prepared for seeing his friends.
"Harry, if you get too tired with that lot, just tell them you need to rest, alright? They'll understand. I don't think they know the details of what happened, but they do know that you had a vision, in which you were cursed, then you were hit by a car. You don't have to talk about any of that if you don't want to until you're ready. I'll be back shortly. Tell me, do you think you will be able to kick your friends out if you're not feeling up to having visitors?" Sirius asked seriously.
Harry shifted his gaze from his godfather, trying to think of what to tell him. He knew that he could never kick anyone he cared about out of there, but that wasn't what Sirius wanted to hear. Apparently, he waited too long to answer, because Sirius sighed.
"Ok, I'll be back in a half hour at most. When I get back, I'll embarrass you by giving you a godfatherly hug," Sirius smirked, "and I'll ask you quietly if you want them to leave or not. You can answer me then, and I'll kick them out if you want. Ok, kiddo?"
"I guess… I just don't want them to think I'm mad at them or something…" Harry replied.
"I know, and they won't. I'm really going this time. See you soon." He walked out and a tangle of red hair with a bushy, brown spot entered the room.
"Hi, Harry. How are you feeling?" asked Hermione as she hugged him gently.
"I'm fine, guys. Madam Pomfrey said a couple days, good as new," he smiled at them.
"Good to hear it, mate," said Ron, clapping his good shoulder lightly.
Harry was greeted by Ginny, Fred, and George. Bill and Charlie were also there for less than a minute. Apparently, there was to be a general Order meeting that everyone was expected to attend if not currently on a mission for said Order.
After the older Weasleys left, the younger ones (with Hermione) proceeded to fill him in on what had been going on the past few days. Apparently, the twins had developed a new product. They were now banned from being anywhere near the kitchen. No one was quite sure what happened, but when two matching purple kittens suddenly popped back into Professor Snape and Mad-eye Moody, the young jokesters found themselves stuck to the ceiling. Literally. With no help or wands. For an entire day, breakfast to supper, with everyone pretending not to hear them, which became easier once Mrs. Weasley placed a silencing charm on them.
Harry was soon laughing harder than he had in a long while, despite the slight discomfort that appeared in his chest even with the potion in effect.
A half hour later, true to his word, Sirius came back. He walked up to Harry and gave him a huge, but gentle, hug and whispered in his ear, "Do you want me to ask them to leave?" Harry just shook his head and smiled.
"Sirius, don't you have to be at the meeting? I thought it was for everyone that could make it," Harry said puzzled.
"Well, I stopped in and got bored, so I came up here. I did promise you I'd be back. I'm not going to break a promise like that to you just for some silly meeting that Remus will repeat to me about four times anyway," Sirius smirked. Looking at Harry more seriously, he said, "How many times do I have to tell you that you're more important than anything to me?"
Harry looked down at his lap a little embarrassed, but happy. "Not now, Padfoot." No matter how much Sirius's words meant to him, Harry just wasn't ready to fully believe him yet. But there was no way he was going to discuss anything like that in front of all his friends. He looked up with a broad smile and asked, "Why didn't you tell me about Fred and Georges Kitten Krackers?"
Everyone gaped at him.
"You knew?" exclaimed Ron and Hermione together.
"Of course I knew. Where do you thing they got the idea? I may be a silent partner, but I'm not that silent." Harry just laughed at all their shocked faces. "Too bad it was Professor Snape though. I mean, I'm sure it was hilarious, but I think I'll be back on his most hated list. Well, the few days below number one were nice while it lasted."
"Eh, Harry, are you saying Snape was actually nice to you?" asked Ron incredulously.
"Well, yeah… not really nice like you would think of other people being nice, but it was definitely a step up. Nevermind, Ron. I was probably delirious at the time. So, what are you guys up to today?" Harry asked changing the subject. He didn't really want to discuss Professor Snape with Ron. He knew the redhead would never understand that he wanted something akin to respect or acceptance from the ex-Death Eater. Harry didn't really know why he did, but he knew that somewhere in the back of his mind, his respect for his professor had somehow grown since finding out what he did for the Order. Speaking of which, Harry recalled that he was never told what happened at Remus's house the other night. He wasn't paying attention to the conversation, and he was pretty sure Hermione noticed, but she didn't say anything, just gave him a small smile when he met her eyes.
Soon, she spoke to the room, "Hey, guys, we've been here for over an hour. I think Harry needs to get some rest." Groaning could be heard from around the room, which was quite impressive considering it was only Ron and Harry making the sound. "Honestly, he'll be up later, and Madam Pomfrey says he'll be good as new in a few days, if he gets enough rest! Come on, everyone. Harry, you get some rest and we'll see you later." She gave him another hug and a quick peck on the cheek. He hugged her back and smiled appreciatively. He didn't want them to leave, really, but he was awfully tired.
When everyone had filed out of the room, he settled back on the pillows with help from Sirius. After asking about a dozen times, Harry managed to convince his godfather that he didn't need anything right now and would go to sleep for a while.
He was very tired, but not quite so tired that he fell asleep immediately upon hitting the pillows. He had time to think before sleep. He didn't want to think. Thinking involved remembering. Remembering involved reliving.
Every time Harry lowered his lids he saw Dennis's empty eyes looking up at him from the floor, or Colin's proud determination while standing up to Voldemort. In the silence he heard Voldemort's words that the Creeveys were chosen simply because they knew Harry Potter and admired him. Harry squeezed his eyes tightly, futilely fighting against the tears that threatened to fall. Finally, one escaped out of each eye. A gentle hand wiped them away, and Harry opened his eyes to the concerned ones of Sirius. Without a word Harry accepted the comfort freely given and allowed himself to be held until he fell into an uneasy sleep.
******************
A/N: Important – I am thinking of getting to a stopping point with this story for a while. I'm not sure if it will be a real ending or not, but I won't leave much hanging. I might just end it in the next few chapters, but I'm not sure. I had a plan, but then I thought of like three different things I could do that are all completely different, so… I'm not sure why I said this was important. Oh yeah! If I decide to stop the story for a while, I'll tell you in an author's note. I just thought I'd tell you ahead of time, and it's sort of a reminder for me. : ) I have about four or five other stories floating in my head that want to be written so I can concentrate on classes again… right.
Separate note – some people have asked about romantic relationships in this story… honestly, I have no idea. I haven't really planned any, but you can use your imagination if you want. : ) I think right now, Harry's having a few too many problems without adding a girl/boy-friend on top. As for other characters, like Sirius/Remus or Ron/Hermione, you can go with what you want to think. I won't tell you different, although I probably won't write anyone specifically with anyone else. I just am not that great at romance I think… yeah. So, bye now.