Disclaimer – Well, Gusha may be delusional enough to believe some of this belongs to her, but I know better. All rights belong to JK Rowlings and whoever bought them from her.
A/N - All right, new format. I'm going to answer the reviews in without citing the specific questions/reviewers. If lots of people complain, I'll return to the previous format.
We will find out what Lupin knows in the next chapter, I promise.
Yeah, poor little Sevie-poo, that little display was worse than being served with divorce papers. I guess we are just sadistic.
Was it really such a cliffhanger? It seemed like the logical place to stop. Two of the players stepped off, the next scene being the remaining two discussing…
Thank you to everyone who complimented me on our brilliance. We shine radiantly. (Yeah, sure, whatever, Shut up, Gusha)
*****
"I imagine this must be a bit of a shock, Potter…Harry." Snape said, not breaking eye contact.
"More than a bit, actually." Harry countered. "It does explain the sudden changes in appearance, though." He ran his fingers through the end of his ponytail.
Snape nodded mutely.
"I'm trying to figure out if I mind, and whether I'm crazy for feeling so little at the moment." Harry shook his head.
"Not crazy. Just in shock." Snape diagnosed. "Quite an understandable reaction. I find I am rather in shock myself."
Harry looked around the room, trying to think of what to say.
Snape filled the silence. "She was stubborn, my Della." He said. "She had good reasons to do what she did. I…" He swallowed heavily. "I just didn't realize how much she hated me. To formally repudiate me like that…" He caught Harry's eye. His face was open and painful. "It hurts most to know that I deserved it." Snape closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
Harry was quiet a moment longer, then he spoke slowly. "I think she was trying to protect me, but I do not think she hated you."
Snape's eyes opened.
Harry pressed on. "I think she must have loved you, even at the very end."
"Why do you say that?"
"She had enough faith in you to insist that I give you a chance. Dumbledore has faith in you as well. I trust his judgment. I am…" He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "Willing to make an effort if you are."
"Are you sure? I am not exactly an ideal role model." Snape said wryly.
"No, you're not. You have bullied me from the moment we met. I am quite convinced you hate me. However, out of respect to the mother I never knew existed, I am willing to hope that there is someone in you who is worth getting to know."
"I see." Snape said. "Where do we start?"
"We start with why she did it." Harry said.
Snape winced. "The headmaster will want his office back." He said after a moment. "Would you like to continue this in my rooms.?" Snape rang the bell on the mantle and in a moment a house elf appeared. "Please have this trunk taken to Harry Potter's room."
Harry nodded. "But don't think this lets you out of answering my question."
Snape gave an answering nod. They walked to the door. Harry was surprised to se he was scarcely shorter than the older man. They stood, eye to eye, for a moment.
"You look so much like her. I had convinced myself that it was because she and Lily were cousins." Snape shook his head in wonder.
"Why don't I look more like you, sir?" Harry asked.
Snape was taken aback. He looked closely at Harry's features. "You do… or rather, you look like members of my family. I can show you pictures if you like. The only person you do not look like now is James Potter, for which I am profoundly grateful."
"You really hate him?" It was only half a question.
"Lets go." Snape said, turning towards the door.
"Professor?" Harry said. Snape looked back to see Harry raise his eyebrows inquiringly.
"Yes, I hated him." He paused. "I don't know if I still do. The way he seemed… Well, lets just say I believe him when he says he wanted me to know about you."
"I don't think he was in on Sirius'… well, all those years ago." Harry ventured.
Snape snarled audibly, then relaxed. "Perhaps he was not." For a moment, Snape looked thoughtful, almost amused. "The Marauders were not the only pranksters, you know. Nor was that the only life threatening 'joke.' Lets go, Harry." Snape looked furtively around Dumbledore's office.
"Right." Harry agreed.
They descended the moving stairs together.
Ron and Hermione met them right outside the gargoyle.
"All right, Harry?" Ron asked.
Harry smiled sadly. "All right." He replied.
Snape looked from teen to teen to teen, just a little panic showing in his eyes.
Hermione was staring at Harry, her eyes narrowed slightly. "Harry?"
Harry took a deep breath. "Fine, so the bottom just fell out of my world. I'll survive."
"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasely, if you don't mind, we were going to take this conversation downstairs. It is hardly suitable for a public corridor." Snape ground out. "As Potter will undoubtedly repeat the entire conversation to you, I will invite you to accompany us."
Harry's eyes flew to Snape's face. "Are you sure?"
"They might as well hear it from both of us." Snape then turned abruptly and swept down the hall. The three teenagers followed after only a slight hesitation.
Snape led them into the dungeons, then up the stairs to his private rooms. Ron and Hermione gawked at the painting.
Ron's eyes flashed from element to element than settled on the small motif in the lower right-hand corner. "That's an original Thornton." He exclaimed. "Wow."
Snape stared at the boy in astonishment. "Well, yes, of course." He frowned. "How did you know?"
"Well, my brother, Bill, you know, he's a big fan, isn't he? He has every catalogue and book about her work." Ron was staring at the image again. "So I recognize her signature. This painting was not in any of the books."
"No." Snape agreed. "This painting was never displayed or exhibited." He activated the door. "Come in."
They entered. Ron and Hermione looked around the room with interest. Snape crossed to the fire.
"Shall I ring for tea?" He suggested.
"Um, fine." Harry agreed.
"Sit, then, all of you." Snape instructed, ringing the little bell.
Humby appeared immediately. "Yes, Master Severus, sir? What will you be wanting, sir?"
"Are you well, Humby?" Snape asked.
"Oh, yes, sir. Master is too kind, sir." The elf nodded enthusiastically and bowed extra low to demonstrate that he could.
"Very well, Humby. Tea for four, if you would." Snape smiled faintly at the old elf.
"Would you be wanting Mr. Potter's tea things, sir?" Humby asked, bowing at Harry.
Snape's eyebrows rose and he turned to Harry.
"No, thanks." Harry said quickly. "Regular tea would be fine."
The elf bowed again and disappeared to the kitchen.
Snape eyed Harry, but made no comment. He took a seat facing the three friends. They sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I assume Potter, er, Harry has informed you of our previous conversation?" Snape began.
Ron and Hermione nodded.
"Well, most of it." Harry qualified. "A condensed version, really."
"So you know that directly after school I married Della Maddis, Lily Potter's cousin and closest friend."
They all nodded again.
"What none of us knew until tonight." Snape continued. "Was that Della…" He swallowed hard and looked away.
"Della was my real mother." Harry said in the gap. "And he," He pointed at Snape. "Her husband, fathered me. The Potters adopted me when I was newborn."
Ron and Hermione looked at each other and then from Snape to Harry.
"Are you sure?" Ron asked, just as Hermione said. "You didn't know, did you?"
"Yes, we are sure." Harry said.
"And no, I had no idea." Snape added. "Della went to great lengths to ensure that I did not know."
"Why?" Harry asked, staring intently at Snape. "No slithering out of answering this time."
"Right." Snape said, then fell silent while the three of them stared at him.
Just at that moment, Humby reappeared with the tea. He poured it, not noticing the silence. He bowed and then popped out again.
"I suppose that you all know that I was once a Death Eater." Snape said, finally. "I was lulled and seduced into thinking Voldemort… Never mind that." He sighed.
"I resisted telling Della; knowing deep within that she would not approve. That she was right not to approve." He sipped his tea, considering his words.
"I believe she suspected me of infidelity of a slightly different sort." He looked around at them, settling on Harry's face.
"I was evil. I did things that no person should consider. Things no decent person should ever even know about. For a short while, I reveled in it. That – the joy I took in it – is why Della chose to hide you from me." Snape set his teacup down and clenched his hands tightly together.
"Once her eyes were fully opened to the actual evil lurking in my soul, Della never trusted me, never even spoke with me again." He flinched at his own words. "She would have wanted, above all, to protect you from my influence. Permanently. The truly amazing thing is that she left instructions for us to ever meet as father and son."
"Why now?" Harry asked. "Why on her birthday when I am fifteen? It seems a bit odd, doesn't it?"
"Maybe a bit." Snape considered the question, then his lips twisted wryly. "It is a jibe at me, I suppose. It was on her own fifteenth birthday that she made me promise to marry her."
"An interesting way to put it." Hermione said.
"The most accurate way to describe the scene, though. She told me that day that she was her own person, and more than able to form her own opinions about people." He caught Harry's eye. "That is a message to both of us. She wanted you to grow up outside my influence until you were old enough to make your own judgments. You are definitely your own person, Potter…Harry. Just as Della intended."
None of the teenagers spoke, so Snape continued.
"I believe someone, or several some ones caused her to doubt her resolution to cut me out of your life forever. Lily and Dumbledore…" He scowled. "I suspect that James Potter may also have been very vocal on my behalf."
All three of the teenagers jumped in their seats.
"Because of what he said in the memory?" Harry asked.
"Partially." Snape agreed. "James came to see me shortly before Della died, after Dumbledore had tried to plead my case to Della. We talked, exchanged insults, then he said… That he wished we could have raised our children together as Lily and Della always wanted."
"But if they couldn't?" Harry started.
"That wouldn't have stopped them from wishing and dreaming, or even adopting other children. James could not reveal Della's secrets while she was protected. He did tell me that he thought Della was wrong to keep me away once I was trusted by Dumbledore. I have a feeling that he told her that more than once while she was living with them."
"So, let me get this straight." Ron said, after a few moments of silence. "Della is your mother, He is your father, the Potters adopted you and you were not told until now to protect you? Have I got it all?"
Harry let out a short, humorless laugh. "Well, yeah, basically. Della…mum?...asked that I try to get to know him." Harry gestured to Snape. "That is what we are going to try to do. Just get to know one another."
"Then, if Harry does not like what he sees, he can…" Snape's jaw clenched. "Repudiate me as his mother did. Frankly, I wouldn't blame him."
"If you don't mind, I'd like some time to myself about now." Harry said. "This is going to take some getting used to."
"Of course." Snape said. "Would you come to see me tomorrow? Maybe for lunch?"
Harry nodded.
They all stood and Snape walked them out.
*****
A/N - All right, new format. I'm going to answer the reviews in without citing the specific questions/reviewers. If lots of people complain, I'll return to the previous format.
We will find out what Lupin knows in the next chapter, I promise.
Yeah, poor little Sevie-poo, that little display was worse than being served with divorce papers. I guess we are just sadistic.
Was it really such a cliffhanger? It seemed like the logical place to stop. Two of the players stepped off, the next scene being the remaining two discussing…
Thank you to everyone who complimented me on our brilliance. We shine radiantly. (Yeah, sure, whatever, Shut up, Gusha)
*****
"I imagine this must be a bit of a shock, Potter…Harry." Snape said, not breaking eye contact.
"More than a bit, actually." Harry countered. "It does explain the sudden changes in appearance, though." He ran his fingers through the end of his ponytail.
Snape nodded mutely.
"I'm trying to figure out if I mind, and whether I'm crazy for feeling so little at the moment." Harry shook his head.
"Not crazy. Just in shock." Snape diagnosed. "Quite an understandable reaction. I find I am rather in shock myself."
Harry looked around the room, trying to think of what to say.
Snape filled the silence. "She was stubborn, my Della." He said. "She had good reasons to do what she did. I…" He swallowed heavily. "I just didn't realize how much she hated me. To formally repudiate me like that…" He caught Harry's eye. His face was open and painful. "It hurts most to know that I deserved it." Snape closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
Harry was quiet a moment longer, then he spoke slowly. "I think she was trying to protect me, but I do not think she hated you."
Snape's eyes opened.
Harry pressed on. "I think she must have loved you, even at the very end."
"Why do you say that?"
"She had enough faith in you to insist that I give you a chance. Dumbledore has faith in you as well. I trust his judgment. I am…" He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "Willing to make an effort if you are."
"Are you sure? I am not exactly an ideal role model." Snape said wryly.
"No, you're not. You have bullied me from the moment we met. I am quite convinced you hate me. However, out of respect to the mother I never knew existed, I am willing to hope that there is someone in you who is worth getting to know."
"I see." Snape said. "Where do we start?"
"We start with why she did it." Harry said.
Snape winced. "The headmaster will want his office back." He said after a moment. "Would you like to continue this in my rooms.?" Snape rang the bell on the mantle and in a moment a house elf appeared. "Please have this trunk taken to Harry Potter's room."
Harry nodded. "But don't think this lets you out of answering my question."
Snape gave an answering nod. They walked to the door. Harry was surprised to se he was scarcely shorter than the older man. They stood, eye to eye, for a moment.
"You look so much like her. I had convinced myself that it was because she and Lily were cousins." Snape shook his head in wonder.
"Why don't I look more like you, sir?" Harry asked.
Snape was taken aback. He looked closely at Harry's features. "You do… or rather, you look like members of my family. I can show you pictures if you like. The only person you do not look like now is James Potter, for which I am profoundly grateful."
"You really hate him?" It was only half a question.
"Lets go." Snape said, turning towards the door.
"Professor?" Harry said. Snape looked back to see Harry raise his eyebrows inquiringly.
"Yes, I hated him." He paused. "I don't know if I still do. The way he seemed… Well, lets just say I believe him when he says he wanted me to know about you."
"I don't think he was in on Sirius'… well, all those years ago." Harry ventured.
Snape snarled audibly, then relaxed. "Perhaps he was not." For a moment, Snape looked thoughtful, almost amused. "The Marauders were not the only pranksters, you know. Nor was that the only life threatening 'joke.' Lets go, Harry." Snape looked furtively around Dumbledore's office.
"Right." Harry agreed.
They descended the moving stairs together.
Ron and Hermione met them right outside the gargoyle.
"All right, Harry?" Ron asked.
Harry smiled sadly. "All right." He replied.
Snape looked from teen to teen to teen, just a little panic showing in his eyes.
Hermione was staring at Harry, her eyes narrowed slightly. "Harry?"
Harry took a deep breath. "Fine, so the bottom just fell out of my world. I'll survive."
"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasely, if you don't mind, we were going to take this conversation downstairs. It is hardly suitable for a public corridor." Snape ground out. "As Potter will undoubtedly repeat the entire conversation to you, I will invite you to accompany us."
Harry's eyes flew to Snape's face. "Are you sure?"
"They might as well hear it from both of us." Snape then turned abruptly and swept down the hall. The three teenagers followed after only a slight hesitation.
Snape led them into the dungeons, then up the stairs to his private rooms. Ron and Hermione gawked at the painting.
Ron's eyes flashed from element to element than settled on the small motif in the lower right-hand corner. "That's an original Thornton." He exclaimed. "Wow."
Snape stared at the boy in astonishment. "Well, yes, of course." He frowned. "How did you know?"
"Well, my brother, Bill, you know, he's a big fan, isn't he? He has every catalogue and book about her work." Ron was staring at the image again. "So I recognize her signature. This painting was not in any of the books."
"No." Snape agreed. "This painting was never displayed or exhibited." He activated the door. "Come in."
They entered. Ron and Hermione looked around the room with interest. Snape crossed to the fire.
"Shall I ring for tea?" He suggested.
"Um, fine." Harry agreed.
"Sit, then, all of you." Snape instructed, ringing the little bell.
Humby appeared immediately. "Yes, Master Severus, sir? What will you be wanting, sir?"
"Are you well, Humby?" Snape asked.
"Oh, yes, sir. Master is too kind, sir." The elf nodded enthusiastically and bowed extra low to demonstrate that he could.
"Very well, Humby. Tea for four, if you would." Snape smiled faintly at the old elf.
"Would you be wanting Mr. Potter's tea things, sir?" Humby asked, bowing at Harry.
Snape's eyebrows rose and he turned to Harry.
"No, thanks." Harry said quickly. "Regular tea would be fine."
The elf bowed again and disappeared to the kitchen.
Snape eyed Harry, but made no comment. He took a seat facing the three friends. They sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I assume Potter, er, Harry has informed you of our previous conversation?" Snape began.
Ron and Hermione nodded.
"Well, most of it." Harry qualified. "A condensed version, really."
"So you know that directly after school I married Della Maddis, Lily Potter's cousin and closest friend."
They all nodded again.
"What none of us knew until tonight." Snape continued. "Was that Della…" He swallowed hard and looked away.
"Della was my real mother." Harry said in the gap. "And he," He pointed at Snape. "Her husband, fathered me. The Potters adopted me when I was newborn."
Ron and Hermione looked at each other and then from Snape to Harry.
"Are you sure?" Ron asked, just as Hermione said. "You didn't know, did you?"
"Yes, we are sure." Harry said.
"And no, I had no idea." Snape added. "Della went to great lengths to ensure that I did not know."
"Why?" Harry asked, staring intently at Snape. "No slithering out of answering this time."
"Right." Snape said, then fell silent while the three of them stared at him.
Just at that moment, Humby reappeared with the tea. He poured it, not noticing the silence. He bowed and then popped out again.
"I suppose that you all know that I was once a Death Eater." Snape said, finally. "I was lulled and seduced into thinking Voldemort… Never mind that." He sighed.
"I resisted telling Della; knowing deep within that she would not approve. That she was right not to approve." He sipped his tea, considering his words.
"I believe she suspected me of infidelity of a slightly different sort." He looked around at them, settling on Harry's face.
"I was evil. I did things that no person should consider. Things no decent person should ever even know about. For a short while, I reveled in it. That – the joy I took in it – is why Della chose to hide you from me." Snape set his teacup down and clenched his hands tightly together.
"Once her eyes were fully opened to the actual evil lurking in my soul, Della never trusted me, never even spoke with me again." He flinched at his own words. "She would have wanted, above all, to protect you from my influence. Permanently. The truly amazing thing is that she left instructions for us to ever meet as father and son."
"Why now?" Harry asked. "Why on her birthday when I am fifteen? It seems a bit odd, doesn't it?"
"Maybe a bit." Snape considered the question, then his lips twisted wryly. "It is a jibe at me, I suppose. It was on her own fifteenth birthday that she made me promise to marry her."
"An interesting way to put it." Hermione said.
"The most accurate way to describe the scene, though. She told me that day that she was her own person, and more than able to form her own opinions about people." He caught Harry's eye. "That is a message to both of us. She wanted you to grow up outside my influence until you were old enough to make your own judgments. You are definitely your own person, Potter…Harry. Just as Della intended."
None of the teenagers spoke, so Snape continued.
"I believe someone, or several some ones caused her to doubt her resolution to cut me out of your life forever. Lily and Dumbledore…" He scowled. "I suspect that James Potter may also have been very vocal on my behalf."
All three of the teenagers jumped in their seats.
"Because of what he said in the memory?" Harry asked.
"Partially." Snape agreed. "James came to see me shortly before Della died, after Dumbledore had tried to plead my case to Della. We talked, exchanged insults, then he said… That he wished we could have raised our children together as Lily and Della always wanted."
"But if they couldn't?" Harry started.
"That wouldn't have stopped them from wishing and dreaming, or even adopting other children. James could not reveal Della's secrets while she was protected. He did tell me that he thought Della was wrong to keep me away once I was trusted by Dumbledore. I have a feeling that he told her that more than once while she was living with them."
"So, let me get this straight." Ron said, after a few moments of silence. "Della is your mother, He is your father, the Potters adopted you and you were not told until now to protect you? Have I got it all?"
Harry let out a short, humorless laugh. "Well, yeah, basically. Della…mum?...asked that I try to get to know him." Harry gestured to Snape. "That is what we are going to try to do. Just get to know one another."
"Then, if Harry does not like what he sees, he can…" Snape's jaw clenched. "Repudiate me as his mother did. Frankly, I wouldn't blame him."
"If you don't mind, I'd like some time to myself about now." Harry said. "This is going to take some getting used to."
"Of course." Snape said. "Would you come to see me tomorrow? Maybe for lunch?"
Harry nodded.
They all stood and Snape walked them out.
*****