AN: Thanks for the reviews. This chapter is basically a weigh down between Audrey and Haley goes on is Nathan's mind.....Feedback welcomed...Song is My Immortal by Evanescence....P.S. I still own nothing....Sorry it took so long...but next chapter is a turning point...permanent....if you love Naley you'll love next chap...

The days were passing slow like molasses. Nathan had opportunity after opportunity to tell Audrey, but he couldn't. He was suppose to be a man and admit that he cheated but he didn't want to hurt her. He knew that Audrey didn't deserve what he did, but Haley didn't deserve to be alone either. He was torn and the longer he put it off the deeper the double sided blade cut.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Audrey and Brooke were spending more time in New York and that left Nathan a lot of time in Texas to think about what he wanted and what was going on. He thought about everything that he had gone through with Audrey and how she'd coped with the changes.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

There was the time that some lady claimed he had fathered an illegitimate child. That was when he thought he was going to lose everything, including her. They had a fight about the possibilities and he had lost his temper and put a hole in the wall. Audrey had come close to walking away from him, but she had to have sensed he needed her and she stayed. She was the only woman, next to Haley and Deb, that had ever seen him cry.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

He cried when he wasn't drafted for the Lakers and there was uncertainty about which team he would play for in the NBA. He thought his run was over, but Audrey stayed by his side encouraging him all the time. She was his source of motivation. The biggest rift in his life had been the whole divorce but it wasn't Audrey who had been there for him. It had been Haley.

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

Haley was the first girl to ever be interested in Nathan, because he was Nathan, not because he was Nathan the basketball star. She had been an accident, but it was the best accident of his life. It started off wrong, but time made up for that. She became his best friend and then his girlfriend. She was the first one he would call when he had a problem. She was the one that gave him and Lucas their first steps towards acting like brothers. She was his foundation; she taught him to love.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Haley was the one who stood by him and weathered the storm that was his life when his parents opted to divorce rather than work out their problems. Haley had given herself to him and he had given himself to her, but then that changed. He thought she would be the only one and when he decided to make it permanent she ran out. The one time that he needed her and she left him high and dry.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

That was it; that was the difference. Haley had ran out. Audrey was going to leave him, but she didn't. She read him and knew that he needed her. That was it. His choice was made. Nathan knew exactly what to do. He was going to stay with the woman who stayed with him. He was going to marry Audrey. It wouldn't be right or fair if he didn't. She was always there for him, and he would always be there for her even if he was still in love with Haley.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me