TOSHA, YOU WILL FIND OUT WHY SHE WAS UPSET BUT I'M AFRAID IT MAY TAKE A
WHILE BECAUSE SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH BEING RAPED FIRST.
I don't know how to swim. My dad paid for thousands of lessons and I know that on one of my last missions I swam across a river to a dock but, I can't swim.
There are all these people around me and they keep talking to each other and holding my hand and I don't want them to. I'm dirty and I don't want them to see that.
Vaughn says I get to go home in two days, he says I won't be alone. Why aren't I going to be alone? I live by myself, how is that not alone. Of course I didn't ask because after I managed to understand his words the water pulled me under.
It got into my lungs and my brain and the only thing that made sense was that I couldn't swim and it was going to kill me. And then I could see again but Vaughn was the only one in room and I keep wondering how all those doctors got out of there so quickly.
They could probably see how dirty I was and they didn't want to be a part of that. Good I don't want them to be dirty too.
Mommy, I want my mommy. Where is my mommy, she will teach me how to swim, I know she will. Vaughn go get my mommy.
No no, don't let go of my hand, just go get my mommy. Please don't let go of my hand.
I'm being selfish, I'll get him dirty, he has to stop holding my hand, I'll get him dirty. But I can't say that because he's the only one who I will let hold my hand and it hurts when his hand isn't there to hold. It's cold and warm and it makes my heart stop hurting. Please don't let go.
VAUGHN'S POV
We're bringing her home today. They won't let me transport her in a normal car incase she has another panic attack. I don't see why they worry, they gave me enough anxiety medicine to keep her high on it for years. But then again, they've had to insert some into her system every few hours when they kept her in the hospital.
As soon as she would start to become agitated and start mumbling about the water being too high, they stuck a needle straight into her. How do they expect her to get better if they suppress everything?
Then again, during that time she won't let anyone else touch her. She whimpers and pleads until I throw them off of her and take her hand back into mine.
Jack is letting me stay with her at her house. Only because the doctor told him that I was the only one she let touch her. For the billionth time these past 3 days I find myself ready to rip off every single limb of the person who did this to her.
She hasn't spoken except to tell me to get her mother and then to beg me not to let go. That and to yell at the doctors to stop touching her and that she was dirty.
My poor Sydney was broken and it was up to me to put her back together.
She was asleep when the hospital car arrived at her house. I had to carry her in and I can't do anything but revel in the fact that she is here, hurting and in more pain than I can ever imagine, but here.
This is the first moment I've had where she is not either gripping my hand in a death grip or screaming her lungs out and I finally realize something.
She is alive and that's what matters. The torture could have killed her, but it didn't.
I know I have to call Lauren and tell her that I have to stay here with Sydney. No, that I WANT to stay here with Sydney.
Yet, before I get a chance to do that Sydney stirs. I think that this is the first time that she is not sedated and still not screaming. She blinks lazily a few times before moving her head to look at me. Her eyes are clear for a moment before the events of the last few days catch up with her.
The change is almost instantaneous. She curls her body up and she starts to whimper. I move to get the medicine but her words stop me.
"I don't want drugs. I don't NEED drugs. I need to find Sark, and kill him."
"Ok, I won't give you any drugs." She grows silent again.
"Do you want anything to eat, you haven't had anything solid."
NARRATOR'S POV
She looked up tentatively but all of a sudden her breath quickened.
She sat up, a feeling of panic spreading through her body and making her let out a little whimper. He moved towards her and put his fingers under her throat, feeling her pulse. It was fast.
"Easy. Easy. You're ok." He gently lay her back down, his hands supporting her as she slowly relaxed.
"You're ok." She pulled out of his grasp in anger.
"Of course I'm ok, I know I'm ok. It's too hot in here. It's hard to breath here, turn on my air-conditioning. Please!"
Vaughn stepped back, surprised at the sudden change of personality, he looked at her questioningly. The room was rather cool; there was no way that she was hot.
"Sydney. I'm going to get you a glass of water." She nodded.
He went to the kitchen and pulled out a glass, trying to stop his hands from shaking so badly. Through out the whole time she had been in the hospital, not once had she been angry just panicked.
Once he had the glass full of water he tried to take a deep breathe. He finally took the water to her and sat on the couch across for her.
Her hands were shaking just as bad as his were a second ago. She tried to take a sip but the water sloshed onto the front of her shirt and she cursed. He took the cup from her and put it onto the table next to them.
Her whole body started shaking and she fell forward, off the chair and straight into his arms. She tensed as she came in contact with his body but then relaxed. She shook and when he looked down at her, fear was across her whole face.
He reached over to where the pills were and took one out.
"Sydney, please, I promise this will make it better. Just open your mouth." She did and he slipped the little pill in, then taking the cup of water and bringing it to her lips. She drank and then turned to bury her head into his shoulder. Soon sleep over took them both.
I don't know how to swim. My dad paid for thousands of lessons and I know that on one of my last missions I swam across a river to a dock but, I can't swim.
There are all these people around me and they keep talking to each other and holding my hand and I don't want them to. I'm dirty and I don't want them to see that.
Vaughn says I get to go home in two days, he says I won't be alone. Why aren't I going to be alone? I live by myself, how is that not alone. Of course I didn't ask because after I managed to understand his words the water pulled me under.
It got into my lungs and my brain and the only thing that made sense was that I couldn't swim and it was going to kill me. And then I could see again but Vaughn was the only one in room and I keep wondering how all those doctors got out of there so quickly.
They could probably see how dirty I was and they didn't want to be a part of that. Good I don't want them to be dirty too.
Mommy, I want my mommy. Where is my mommy, she will teach me how to swim, I know she will. Vaughn go get my mommy.
No no, don't let go of my hand, just go get my mommy. Please don't let go of my hand.
I'm being selfish, I'll get him dirty, he has to stop holding my hand, I'll get him dirty. But I can't say that because he's the only one who I will let hold my hand and it hurts when his hand isn't there to hold. It's cold and warm and it makes my heart stop hurting. Please don't let go.
VAUGHN'S POV
We're bringing her home today. They won't let me transport her in a normal car incase she has another panic attack. I don't see why they worry, they gave me enough anxiety medicine to keep her high on it for years. But then again, they've had to insert some into her system every few hours when they kept her in the hospital.
As soon as she would start to become agitated and start mumbling about the water being too high, they stuck a needle straight into her. How do they expect her to get better if they suppress everything?
Then again, during that time she won't let anyone else touch her. She whimpers and pleads until I throw them off of her and take her hand back into mine.
Jack is letting me stay with her at her house. Only because the doctor told him that I was the only one she let touch her. For the billionth time these past 3 days I find myself ready to rip off every single limb of the person who did this to her.
She hasn't spoken except to tell me to get her mother and then to beg me not to let go. That and to yell at the doctors to stop touching her and that she was dirty.
My poor Sydney was broken and it was up to me to put her back together.
She was asleep when the hospital car arrived at her house. I had to carry her in and I can't do anything but revel in the fact that she is here, hurting and in more pain than I can ever imagine, but here.
This is the first moment I've had where she is not either gripping my hand in a death grip or screaming her lungs out and I finally realize something.
She is alive and that's what matters. The torture could have killed her, but it didn't.
I know I have to call Lauren and tell her that I have to stay here with Sydney. No, that I WANT to stay here with Sydney.
Yet, before I get a chance to do that Sydney stirs. I think that this is the first time that she is not sedated and still not screaming. She blinks lazily a few times before moving her head to look at me. Her eyes are clear for a moment before the events of the last few days catch up with her.
The change is almost instantaneous. She curls her body up and she starts to whimper. I move to get the medicine but her words stop me.
"I don't want drugs. I don't NEED drugs. I need to find Sark, and kill him."
"Ok, I won't give you any drugs." She grows silent again.
"Do you want anything to eat, you haven't had anything solid."
NARRATOR'S POV
She looked up tentatively but all of a sudden her breath quickened.
She sat up, a feeling of panic spreading through her body and making her let out a little whimper. He moved towards her and put his fingers under her throat, feeling her pulse. It was fast.
"Easy. Easy. You're ok." He gently lay her back down, his hands supporting her as she slowly relaxed.
"You're ok." She pulled out of his grasp in anger.
"Of course I'm ok, I know I'm ok. It's too hot in here. It's hard to breath here, turn on my air-conditioning. Please!"
Vaughn stepped back, surprised at the sudden change of personality, he looked at her questioningly. The room was rather cool; there was no way that she was hot.
"Sydney. I'm going to get you a glass of water." She nodded.
He went to the kitchen and pulled out a glass, trying to stop his hands from shaking so badly. Through out the whole time she had been in the hospital, not once had she been angry just panicked.
Once he had the glass full of water he tried to take a deep breathe. He finally took the water to her and sat on the couch across for her.
Her hands were shaking just as bad as his were a second ago. She tried to take a sip but the water sloshed onto the front of her shirt and she cursed. He took the cup from her and put it onto the table next to them.
Her whole body started shaking and she fell forward, off the chair and straight into his arms. She tensed as she came in contact with his body but then relaxed. She shook and when he looked down at her, fear was across her whole face.
He reached over to where the pills were and took one out.
"Sydney, please, I promise this will make it better. Just open your mouth." She did and he slipped the little pill in, then taking the cup of water and bringing it to her lips. She drank and then turned to bury her head into his shoulder. Soon sleep over took them both.