Author: Jackie W.
Email: jackiesfic@aol.com
Summary: Sam starts on the long road to recovery.
In the morning Sam was more alert. When Jack mentioned that Cassie wanted to visit her eyes lit up. Then she signaled to them that she wanted to write something. Once she got the pencil and paper she was overwhelmed with questions she wanted answered. The one she picked to start with caused concerned looks to be passed between her teammates.
'Where is Janet?'
Jack refused to lie to her. He sat down next to her with a sigh and told her the entire story. Forgetting her reaction to being touched the day before Daniel moved in to place a comforting hand on her shoulder as she shook with silent sobs. Even through her grief her reaction was immediate as she shoved him away. There was instant regret in her eyes as he stumbled back.
"It's ok, Sam, I just forgot for a minute," Daniel assured her.
Sam nodded her thanks for Daniel's understanding, then swiped at her eyes to clear them.
'How's Cassie?'
"As well as can be expected. She's a strong kid. She's moved in with me, and we've been getting her ready to go off to college. We sure could use your help," Jack explained.
Sam nodded thoughtfully. Then another question occurred to her.
'How long was I gone?'
"About seventeen weeks, and you've been back for a week," Daniel explained causing Sam's eyes to widen.
Although in some respects it seemed like a lot longer she was still stunned. Dr. Miller came in then and Sam wrote down her last question.
'Medical discharge?'
Dr. Miller looked at her in dismay. So she *had* figured that out, Jack thought.
"Yes, I'm sorry Major. While everything else may heal completely your left leg will not. The good news is that you won't lose it, and I'm pretty sure that with a lot of physical therapy you will walk on it again, but there has been too much damage for there not to be a permanent limp," he told her. "It's going to be a long recovery I'm afraid."
Sam nodded. She was so not looking forward to that part.
"I have a few questions if you feel up to it," Dr. Miller said. When there were no objections he continued. "We haven't seen any indication of sarcophagus withdrawal. Were you put into one?"
Sam raised one finger to indicate one time, and Dr. Miller noted it.
"Do you remember any injuries to your throat that might be responsible for you losing your voice?" he asked. "We can't find any damage to explain it."
She shook her head to indicate 'no' but she was visibly upset. Jack paled as he understood the implications. Sam had been tortured into silence. He shuddered at the thought. How bad must it have been to shut down even the automatic responses such as screaming? He quickly signaled the doctor to change the line of questioning as he exchanged a look of concern with Teal'c who also had figured it out.
Soon it was obvious that Sam was tiring so they left her with Daniel sitting guard duty as she napped. Cassie was due to arrive in an hour so it was good that she was sleeping now. In the meantime Jack was summoned to Hammond's office.
"Colonel, I wanted to let you know that this is your last chance to change your mind about your retirement. On Monday the paperwork will have progressed to the point of no return," he warned.
"I'm even more sure than before that I need to do this. I'm not saying that I might not be willing to come back sometime in the future in some capacity, Sir, but right now I have other priorities," he confessed.
Hammond nodded his understanding. He was no fool and knew just how much Jack O'Neill cared for his former 2IC. He had no doubts about who would be helping Sam Carter through this tough recovery.
"Dr. Miller says that there is no physical reason for the Major's silence," the General informed him.
Jack paused and then told him his theory. Hammond looked ill at the thought.
"She's lucky she has you, son," he acknowledged.
Jack met the General's eyes. There was no need to hide how he felt anymore.
"We'll see if she feels that way after I've bullied her through all the therapy, Sir," he admitted with a shrug.
Sam's meeting with Cassie went well. Despite them warning the teen that Sam was still reluctant to be touched the two had been wrapped in a hug within minutes of the girl entering the infirmary. Afterwards Cassie found Jack in his office.
"She's changed," she quietly admitted.
"Yes, she has. She's been through something that she will have to deal with every day for the rest of her life. It changes you. But if you have friends and family to help you through it you hopefully find your way. Carter is strong and she has all of us to help her. She'll make it back to us," Jack assured the girl.
"Is she going to come live with us?" Cassie inquired.
"Probably. At least at first. Do you mind?" Jack asked.
"No, I want her to," Cassie told him. "I've missed her and it will be nice to have her there with us. What about after I go off to school? You two going to still live together?" she suggested with a grin.
"One day at a time, Cass. One day at a time," Jack warned.
.
The next day's visit from Pete Shanahan did not go as well. Sam was nervous around him, and despite their warnings he reached out for her hand at one point causing her to jerk away and give one of her silent screams. It freaked the man out. Luckily Jack had insisted that one of her teammates be present, and Daniel had volunteered. He calmed Sam down and suggested to Pete that he cut the visit short.
"She's really not ready for a lot of visitors yet," he explained. "You might want to wait until after she's had a bit of therapy before you try to visit again."
Pete reluctantly agreed, but insisted that he be given regular updates on her status. He wanted to know the minute she was speaking so he could call her. Jack just shook his head at that when he heard. Did the man not realize that Sam might *never* speak again? They all hoped that she would, but it all depended on how deep the trauma was. Jack suspected it was going to be a long process.
After another two weeks Dr. Miller finally let her go home. The cast was off her right leg which meant that she was able to swing herself in and out of bed. She still couldn't use crutches thanks to the cast on her arm so she was confined to a wheelchair for another couple of weeks. She'd been meeting with Dr. McKenzie regularly and while they had made some progress, she still had not uttered a sound. On the day she was to be released all of SG1, Hammond and Cassie gathered in the infirmary.
"I picked up everything on your list and got it all put away in Uncle Jack's spare room, Sam," Cassie informed her.
Sam wasn't too sure about moving in with Jack, but she really had no choice. She certainly couldn't cope by herself yet, and it wouldn't be fair to Cassie to ask the teen to move in with Sam and try to take care of an invalid. The Colonel's house was the logical choice. There were only three stairs to maneuver on the first floor and the hallways and rooms were big enough to get around in a wheelchair for a few weeks.
She had thrown quite a fit when she'd heard Jack was retiring though. As many times as he'd tried to explain that it was in the works before she came back she was sure he was doing it out of a misplaced sense of duty to care for her. Finally Teal'c had sat down and told her some home truths. He reminded her of how she had felt during the times Jack had been missing.
"O'Neill was like a bear with a sore paw. Most inhospitable," he recounted. "Then as time went on he became very depressed, especially after the events of Dr. Fraiser's death. He told me he could no longer stand to be around the halls of the SGC, and for his own sanity and to care for Cassandra Fraiser he was leaving," he recalled. "Still there was the regret that he was leaving you out there, your fate unknown. Your returning has given him back his life in many ways, Major Carter," he acknowledged.
Sam reached out a hesitant hand to touch his arm and mouthed a 'Thank you'. Her touch was fleeting, but the big man's heart was warmed by the amount of trust and friendship the small gesture showed. She made a similar gesture to Daniel later as he brought her up to date on Sarah Gardner's progress. As far as any of them knew it was the only time she had made contact with any males since her return. None of them knew about the times in the middle of the night that she would awaken from her nightmares and hold onto Jack for dear life, sometimes soaking his shirt with tears, sometime just finding comfort in his warmth and the sound of his heart beating next to her.
Jack's heart soared each time he had her in his arms. He knew though that he was going to have one heck of a time giving Sam the comfort that she needed without rushing her into something she wasn't ready for yet, especially when she was living in his house. He was determined to take it slow and let Sam set the pace for whatever type of new relationship they might have.
Meanwhile now that the day had come Sam could barely contain her excitement. For the first time in over five months she was going home, even if it was to Jack's house. And while she wouldn't consider herself mobile by any means it was a vast improvement on the various forms of confinement she had been enduring. When they exited the base into the bright sunshine she lifted her face to the light and breathed in deeply of the fresh air. The group surrounding her ready to load her into the Colonel's truck paused to let her enjoy the moment and they were treated to the sight of rare smile.
By the time they had settled her into Jack's spare room her excitement had turned to exhaustion and she fell asleep immediately. That left her three ex-teammates and Cassie to argue over what to order for dinner. They decided on Sam's favorite, Chinese, hoping to tempt her appetite when she woke up. Despite all the supplements that she had been taking the last three weeks she had yet to put on any weight and they needed to get her to start eating again as she currently looked like the casts were the only thing keeping a strong breeze from blowing her away.
The house was pretty full of people all weekend and Sam was glad when Daniel and Teal'c finally left on Sunday. She was tired of trying to stay in the conversation by writing things down. Everyone was very patient with her, but you could tell that Daniel especially wanted to push her to say something. Before heading off to bed she made a suggestion to Jack and Cassie. She wanted to learn sign language. She expected them to tell her that it was a waste of time, that she'd be talking again soon, but instead they supported the idea. They even told her they would both go to classes too, because just Sam learning it wouldn't be very useful.
On Monday, when Jack took Sam back to the SGC for get physical therapy and her session with McKenzie, he went in search of Daniel to see if he wanted to join them in taking the classes. To his dismay the linguist was appalled at the idea.
"Sam's not deaf, Jack. I would think that you would be encouraging her to talk instead of letting her cop out," he protested.
"What I'm doing is letting her cope with the problem in her own timeframe. If she can communicate she can relax and not feel pressured to do anything she's not ready to do. She needs to feel in control, Daniel," Jack explained.
Not surprisingly, Daniel admitted that he already knew sign language although he was a bit rusty. He promised to brush up his skills although he was still doubtful about the idea. Teal'c was leaving to spend time helping out with the rebel Jaffa, and didn't know how long he would be gone. Hammond had given him an open-ended leave of absence. With Daniel now only going out on missions where his skills were needed, SG1 was officially disbanded. Both Jack and Sam had been given consultant status, which allowed them access to the base. Jack knew that Hammond had arranged that to make Sam's therapy easier as the doctor's with the clearance to treat her were mostly within the mountain and he was grateful to the man for smoothing the way for her. It also meant that no one had to watch what was said around them as they still had security clearance to know about what was going on.
So their lives fell into a routine of physical therapy and counseling sessions for Sam, with the rest of their time spent getting Cassie ready for college and taking sign language classes. Sam continued to make good progress. The cast came off her right arm, allowing her to progress to crutches and get out more. Her appetite slowly returned and as she put back on a bit of weight her skin and hair began to regain their lost luster. And she smiled more often. Soon she was back to reading her science journals and stopping in the lab when on base to see what new alien technology had been brought in. She even tentatively suggested moving back to her own house, but Cassie begged her to stay until she left for college so they could all be together.
Jack was just thinking that their lives were looking up when unexpected visitors sent things spinning out of control once again.
Email: jackiesfic@aol.com
Summary: Sam starts on the long road to recovery.
In the morning Sam was more alert. When Jack mentioned that Cassie wanted to visit her eyes lit up. Then she signaled to them that she wanted to write something. Once she got the pencil and paper she was overwhelmed with questions she wanted answered. The one she picked to start with caused concerned looks to be passed between her teammates.
'Where is Janet?'
Jack refused to lie to her. He sat down next to her with a sigh and told her the entire story. Forgetting her reaction to being touched the day before Daniel moved in to place a comforting hand on her shoulder as she shook with silent sobs. Even through her grief her reaction was immediate as she shoved him away. There was instant regret in her eyes as he stumbled back.
"It's ok, Sam, I just forgot for a minute," Daniel assured her.
Sam nodded her thanks for Daniel's understanding, then swiped at her eyes to clear them.
'How's Cassie?'
"As well as can be expected. She's a strong kid. She's moved in with me, and we've been getting her ready to go off to college. We sure could use your help," Jack explained.
Sam nodded thoughtfully. Then another question occurred to her.
'How long was I gone?'
"About seventeen weeks, and you've been back for a week," Daniel explained causing Sam's eyes to widen.
Although in some respects it seemed like a lot longer she was still stunned. Dr. Miller came in then and Sam wrote down her last question.
'Medical discharge?'
Dr. Miller looked at her in dismay. So she *had* figured that out, Jack thought.
"Yes, I'm sorry Major. While everything else may heal completely your left leg will not. The good news is that you won't lose it, and I'm pretty sure that with a lot of physical therapy you will walk on it again, but there has been too much damage for there not to be a permanent limp," he told her. "It's going to be a long recovery I'm afraid."
Sam nodded. She was so not looking forward to that part.
"I have a few questions if you feel up to it," Dr. Miller said. When there were no objections he continued. "We haven't seen any indication of sarcophagus withdrawal. Were you put into one?"
Sam raised one finger to indicate one time, and Dr. Miller noted it.
"Do you remember any injuries to your throat that might be responsible for you losing your voice?" he asked. "We can't find any damage to explain it."
She shook her head to indicate 'no' but she was visibly upset. Jack paled as he understood the implications. Sam had been tortured into silence. He shuddered at the thought. How bad must it have been to shut down even the automatic responses such as screaming? He quickly signaled the doctor to change the line of questioning as he exchanged a look of concern with Teal'c who also had figured it out.
Soon it was obvious that Sam was tiring so they left her with Daniel sitting guard duty as she napped. Cassie was due to arrive in an hour so it was good that she was sleeping now. In the meantime Jack was summoned to Hammond's office.
"Colonel, I wanted to let you know that this is your last chance to change your mind about your retirement. On Monday the paperwork will have progressed to the point of no return," he warned.
"I'm even more sure than before that I need to do this. I'm not saying that I might not be willing to come back sometime in the future in some capacity, Sir, but right now I have other priorities," he confessed.
Hammond nodded his understanding. He was no fool and knew just how much Jack O'Neill cared for his former 2IC. He had no doubts about who would be helping Sam Carter through this tough recovery.
"Dr. Miller says that there is no physical reason for the Major's silence," the General informed him.
Jack paused and then told him his theory. Hammond looked ill at the thought.
"She's lucky she has you, son," he acknowledged.
Jack met the General's eyes. There was no need to hide how he felt anymore.
"We'll see if she feels that way after I've bullied her through all the therapy, Sir," he admitted with a shrug.
Sam's meeting with Cassie went well. Despite them warning the teen that Sam was still reluctant to be touched the two had been wrapped in a hug within minutes of the girl entering the infirmary. Afterwards Cassie found Jack in his office.
"She's changed," she quietly admitted.
"Yes, she has. She's been through something that she will have to deal with every day for the rest of her life. It changes you. But if you have friends and family to help you through it you hopefully find your way. Carter is strong and she has all of us to help her. She'll make it back to us," Jack assured the girl.
"Is she going to come live with us?" Cassie inquired.
"Probably. At least at first. Do you mind?" Jack asked.
"No, I want her to," Cassie told him. "I've missed her and it will be nice to have her there with us. What about after I go off to school? You two going to still live together?" she suggested with a grin.
"One day at a time, Cass. One day at a time," Jack warned.
.
The next day's visit from Pete Shanahan did not go as well. Sam was nervous around him, and despite their warnings he reached out for her hand at one point causing her to jerk away and give one of her silent screams. It freaked the man out. Luckily Jack had insisted that one of her teammates be present, and Daniel had volunteered. He calmed Sam down and suggested to Pete that he cut the visit short.
"She's really not ready for a lot of visitors yet," he explained. "You might want to wait until after she's had a bit of therapy before you try to visit again."
Pete reluctantly agreed, but insisted that he be given regular updates on her status. He wanted to know the minute she was speaking so he could call her. Jack just shook his head at that when he heard. Did the man not realize that Sam might *never* speak again? They all hoped that she would, but it all depended on how deep the trauma was. Jack suspected it was going to be a long process.
After another two weeks Dr. Miller finally let her go home. The cast was off her right leg which meant that she was able to swing herself in and out of bed. She still couldn't use crutches thanks to the cast on her arm so she was confined to a wheelchair for another couple of weeks. She'd been meeting with Dr. McKenzie regularly and while they had made some progress, she still had not uttered a sound. On the day she was to be released all of SG1, Hammond and Cassie gathered in the infirmary.
"I picked up everything on your list and got it all put away in Uncle Jack's spare room, Sam," Cassie informed her.
Sam wasn't too sure about moving in with Jack, but she really had no choice. She certainly couldn't cope by herself yet, and it wouldn't be fair to Cassie to ask the teen to move in with Sam and try to take care of an invalid. The Colonel's house was the logical choice. There were only three stairs to maneuver on the first floor and the hallways and rooms were big enough to get around in a wheelchair for a few weeks.
She had thrown quite a fit when she'd heard Jack was retiring though. As many times as he'd tried to explain that it was in the works before she came back she was sure he was doing it out of a misplaced sense of duty to care for her. Finally Teal'c had sat down and told her some home truths. He reminded her of how she had felt during the times Jack had been missing.
"O'Neill was like a bear with a sore paw. Most inhospitable," he recounted. "Then as time went on he became very depressed, especially after the events of Dr. Fraiser's death. He told me he could no longer stand to be around the halls of the SGC, and for his own sanity and to care for Cassandra Fraiser he was leaving," he recalled. "Still there was the regret that he was leaving you out there, your fate unknown. Your returning has given him back his life in many ways, Major Carter," he acknowledged.
Sam reached out a hesitant hand to touch his arm and mouthed a 'Thank you'. Her touch was fleeting, but the big man's heart was warmed by the amount of trust and friendship the small gesture showed. She made a similar gesture to Daniel later as he brought her up to date on Sarah Gardner's progress. As far as any of them knew it was the only time she had made contact with any males since her return. None of them knew about the times in the middle of the night that she would awaken from her nightmares and hold onto Jack for dear life, sometimes soaking his shirt with tears, sometime just finding comfort in his warmth and the sound of his heart beating next to her.
Jack's heart soared each time he had her in his arms. He knew though that he was going to have one heck of a time giving Sam the comfort that she needed without rushing her into something she wasn't ready for yet, especially when she was living in his house. He was determined to take it slow and let Sam set the pace for whatever type of new relationship they might have.
Meanwhile now that the day had come Sam could barely contain her excitement. For the first time in over five months she was going home, even if it was to Jack's house. And while she wouldn't consider herself mobile by any means it was a vast improvement on the various forms of confinement she had been enduring. When they exited the base into the bright sunshine she lifted her face to the light and breathed in deeply of the fresh air. The group surrounding her ready to load her into the Colonel's truck paused to let her enjoy the moment and they were treated to the sight of rare smile.
By the time they had settled her into Jack's spare room her excitement had turned to exhaustion and she fell asleep immediately. That left her three ex-teammates and Cassie to argue over what to order for dinner. They decided on Sam's favorite, Chinese, hoping to tempt her appetite when she woke up. Despite all the supplements that she had been taking the last three weeks she had yet to put on any weight and they needed to get her to start eating again as she currently looked like the casts were the only thing keeping a strong breeze from blowing her away.
The house was pretty full of people all weekend and Sam was glad when Daniel and Teal'c finally left on Sunday. She was tired of trying to stay in the conversation by writing things down. Everyone was very patient with her, but you could tell that Daniel especially wanted to push her to say something. Before heading off to bed she made a suggestion to Jack and Cassie. She wanted to learn sign language. She expected them to tell her that it was a waste of time, that she'd be talking again soon, but instead they supported the idea. They even told her they would both go to classes too, because just Sam learning it wouldn't be very useful.
On Monday, when Jack took Sam back to the SGC for get physical therapy and her session with McKenzie, he went in search of Daniel to see if he wanted to join them in taking the classes. To his dismay the linguist was appalled at the idea.
"Sam's not deaf, Jack. I would think that you would be encouraging her to talk instead of letting her cop out," he protested.
"What I'm doing is letting her cope with the problem in her own timeframe. If she can communicate she can relax and not feel pressured to do anything she's not ready to do. She needs to feel in control, Daniel," Jack explained.
Not surprisingly, Daniel admitted that he already knew sign language although he was a bit rusty. He promised to brush up his skills although he was still doubtful about the idea. Teal'c was leaving to spend time helping out with the rebel Jaffa, and didn't know how long he would be gone. Hammond had given him an open-ended leave of absence. With Daniel now only going out on missions where his skills were needed, SG1 was officially disbanded. Both Jack and Sam had been given consultant status, which allowed them access to the base. Jack knew that Hammond had arranged that to make Sam's therapy easier as the doctor's with the clearance to treat her were mostly within the mountain and he was grateful to the man for smoothing the way for her. It also meant that no one had to watch what was said around them as they still had security clearance to know about what was going on.
So their lives fell into a routine of physical therapy and counseling sessions for Sam, with the rest of their time spent getting Cassie ready for college and taking sign language classes. Sam continued to make good progress. The cast came off her right arm, allowing her to progress to crutches and get out more. Her appetite slowly returned and as she put back on a bit of weight her skin and hair began to regain their lost luster. And she smiled more often. Soon she was back to reading her science journals and stopping in the lab when on base to see what new alien technology had been brought in. She even tentatively suggested moving back to her own house, but Cassie begged her to stay until she left for college so they could all be together.
Jack was just thinking that their lives were looking up when unexpected visitors sent things spinning out of control once again.