Interview Section.
Done by Harry and Ron.
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley here with the second edition of the Oracle. This weeks interview will be with Fred and George Weasley and apparently now Lee Jordan.
Harry Potter: How does it feel to be back at Hogwarts?
Fred: It's school... what do you think.
George: I kind of miss it. Not the school work of course, I am meaning Gryffindor parties-
Fred: Slytherin baiting-
George: Snape baiting-
Fred: Detentions.
Ron: You actually miss detentions?
George: Yea, hmm where's Filch anyway.
Lee: Do you suppose Professor McGonagall will let me commentate the upcoming match?
Harry: Don't you work now?
Lee: My bosses will let me off, won't you?
George: I don't know... skiving off work to go to school. I'm disgusted Lee.
Harry: Is your joke shop successful?
George: Of course it is-
Fred: In fact we wanted to say that Hogwarts students get a discount.
Lee: You have to promise you'll be driving the teachers mad with them though.
George: Especially Filch.
Fred: And the Slytherins.
Ron: So the Slytherins don't get a discount off?
George: Maybe. Depends.
Fred: If they are scum like that little *.....* Malfoy then they won't. Editors note: Sorry that was inappropriate. -Hermione.
Ron: So all of them.
Harry: I still can't believe that git is writing the advice column.
Fred: I should be writing the advice column.
Ron: That would go over well.
Harry: Better him then Malfoy.
Ron: Anybody would be better then Malfoy.
Harry: So have you invented anything new?
Fred: Yes we have.
George: It's pumpkin juice, except when the drinker drinks it-
Fred: Their hair flashes rainbow colours for the day.
Lee: Guess who they tested it on first too?
Ron: Could you imagine if we slipped some of that in Snape's drink?
Fred: Do the teachers read this?
Ron: Since when do you care?
George: Well because if you slipped that is Snape's drink I'm pretty sure he'll be able to guess who did it.
Ron: Ok, and again. Since when do you care?
George: You underestimate us ickle Ronniekins.
Ron: Don't. Call. Me. That.
Fred: What's the matta ickle Ronniekins are we upsetting you?
Ron: Are there any other products that you have invented.
Fred: Look at that, he changes the subject.
George: We have, but we aren't going to reveal them all. You are just going to have to come and see. We have all new items in the front of the store.
Lee: These ones are really great too.
Fred: We tested most of them on Lee.
Harry: Have you made a lot of money since your shop opened?
George: You would know-
Fred: We tell you every week.
Harry: This is an interview.
Fred: Oh yea... I actually forgot.
Ron: We have to wrap it up though.
George: Already?
Harry: Yes, Hermione and Ernie eventually cut them off.
Fred: Well ok then.
Lee: Professor McGonagall, let me know if I can commentate the next Quidditch match. Just for old times sake. I know you miss me.
George: Attention Hogwarts students, you get a five percent discount, so come to our shop.
Harry: Stay tuned to next weeks. We haven't figured out who we'll be interviewing next so it will be a surprise.
-Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.
Hello once again I am here to talk about another magical creature. Please don't listen to Hermione Granger she really doesn't know what she is talking about.
Editors note: No I don't, that is why I am at the top of my year...-Hermione
The Crumple-Horned Snorkack is a lizard type creature. It has a large horn at the top of its head and it grows to be about a foot and half long. Its eyes are a blood red colour and it doesn't have pupils. (Editors note: That's convenient. -Hermione) The scales on it's back have a crumpled look to it, and they also appear on the horn. The males are grey in colour, and the females are a light blue. They can have up to ten babies. The babies hatch out of eggs and they drink blood of rats until they are eight weeks old. Then they can start looking for their prey on their own.
The Crumple-Horned Snorkack isn't too dangerous, it only attacks humans if it is in a bad mood which is rare. They have a long tongue to catch their prey and the tongue is strong enough to catch something as a large as a dog. The Snorkack will eat anything that is meat and any plant will poison it. They usually eat twice their body weight. There teeth are very sharp and you wouldn't want to be bitten by one.
(Authors note: Sorry if there was a different description in the book about them, but I didn't have the book on hand, and so I asked a couple of friends for some ideas and this was the best one. So enjoy! :) )
Done by Parvati and Padma Patil and Lavender Brown.
Crushes:
Draco Malfoy likes Hermione Granger! How do we know? Well first he didn't deny it and second of all we were all reading the Oracle together before they went out and he blushed when he got to that part! Watch out Ron, you have competition.
Ron Weasley likes Hermione Granger. (Wow Hermione, you are picking up.)
Padma Patil likes Ernie Macmillan.
Gregory Goyle likes Pansy Parkinson
Pansy Parkinson likes Draco Malfoy.
Neville Longbottom likes Luna Lovegood.
Hannah Abbot likes Harry Potter.
Snoggers:
Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter.
Millicent Bulstrode and Theodore Nott.
Lavender Brown and Dean Thomas
Terry Boot and Mandy Brocklehurst
Hmm we could set up a dating service! A lot of the snogger's were people who were in the crush list. Hermione, please don't date Draco Malfoy! That is just filth.
Padma... we caught you kissing Draco Malfoy, what are you talking about?
Shut up. He kissed me and I kissed him back, and it was only one you and Lavender just happened to catch us. I didn't like it and neither did he, considering he insulted me right after. Hmph!
Neville Longbottom is at the top of the year for something... and that is Herbology. We always knew he was good in that class but he actually got at the top of the year. Good job Neville we are very proud of you.
Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy were talking civilized yesterday, they weren't insulting each other or anything. Then again that could be because Professor McGonagall threatened them but still it is worth the gossip page!
Percy Weasley is getting married to Penelope Clearwater. (Sorry Ron we asked Hermione what that note was about when you almost fainted.)
We think Hermione is starting become more rebellious every year.
-Parvati, Padma Patil and Lavender Brown.
Readers if you have gossip send it in!
Done by: Draco Malfoy
(Letter from Reviewer.) Dear Draco Malfoy!
I am a seventeen year girl and guess what!? I have never been kissed! I want to be kissed so badly too! Why haven't I been kissed!? Please, I know I'm not ugly I am told I am hot all the time so what is it? Ok thanks!
-Never been kissed
Annoying twat
I think it's because you are a very annoying and ditzy. Also most people who say they aren't ugly because they have been told they are hot are actually ugly...
-Draco Malfoy
Dear Draco Malfoy.
There is this boy who is my brothers best friend and I really like him. I have liked him ever since I was a first year. I have dated other boys but I still can't seem to get over him. I thought he would like me better now that I am not all shy around him like I use to be but it still isn't working. What do you think I should do?
-In love.
In love
Well Potter has such a fat head that he doesn't see what is in front of him. You know he is always too busy trying to act the hero or something. I think you should just ask him out, or maybe after he reads this he'll get the clue that you like him. If he can't, even though you are a Weasley I'll snog you. I'll make all your problems go away... after all beauty is only a light switch away.
Draco Malfoy
Editors note: Draco you are a pig.-Hermione Granger.
Dear Draco Malfoy.
I still can't this really good looking boy to go out with me. He keeps turning me down but I am absolutely in love him. Please will you just go with me to Hogsmeade.
-I love you.
I don't love you.
Go away Pansy.
-Draco Malfoy.
Dear Draco.
I think I like my best friend... only my best friend is a girl and so am I. I am scared to tell her. Should I just tell her that I am a lesbian and then tell her later that it is her that I love?
Weird Feelings.
Weird Feelings
Well assuming that she reads the Oracle if you tell her that you are a lesbian, she'll guess you like her. You should do it anyway and then tell me if she wants to do anything with you so then I can watch, or possibly join in.
-Draco Malfoy
Keep sending in those questions! Make sure they aren't stupid though.
Editors note: About the above advice, Ferret do you remember when I slapped you in third year? Want me to do it again? Take this column seriously. -Hermione Granger.
Done by: Hannah and Susan.
Longing for love
I'm longing for the happiness,
I've never truly had.
I'm striving to forget,
All the things that make me sad.
I'm searching for the one,
Who makes me smile through the rain.
I'm looking for the guy,
Who makes me look past all the pain.
I hope that I will find you soon.
Don't make me search too long.
I sometimes think I'll never find you.
I hope you'll prove me wrong.
From the moment I find you,
I know our love will be so true.
You'll make me feel light as a feather.
I pray that we will stay together,
Always, and forever.
-Anonymous.
Send in more poems please!
Hannah and Susan.
Done by: Neville Longbottom, Marietta Edgcombe, Justin Finch Fletchy and Pansy Parkinson.
Congratulations to Ravenclaw for getting the trivia questions right.
News from Gryffindor: Euan Abercrombie, Ginny Weasley and Donna Philips are the new Gryffindor chasers! Welcome back to Harry Potter who is the Gryffindor seeker once again. Congratulations to the new Gryffindor captain Ron Weasley.
News from Slytherin: Draco Malfoy is the new Quidditch captain for Slytherin. Yay! My boyfriend is the captain, I always knew he would be one.
A Quidditch practice is this Saturday. The Slytherins have already booked it Weasley so don't even try.
The you-know-what club is also being held this Friday night so anyone in it be there.
News from Hufflepuff: Quidditch Practice this Wednesday night. Also we're holding a party this weekend, for Hannah Abbot's seventeenth birthday. Anyone in our year is invited, it's in the Great Hall.
New from Ravenclaw: The homework club is going to start meeting on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays from 9:00am to 11:30am anyone interested can come. Quidditch team practice will be held this Thursday at 7:00pm after dinner.
News for the whole school: There will be a new dueling club starting in a couple of weeks. (Date still to be set.) Hogmeades trip this weekend to anyone third year and above. To the first and second years a new club is opening for you all to meet others in your year it will be held every Wednesday night.
Trivia question: Who in Harry's care of Magical Creatures class could see threstrals?
Reviewers: Send in any ideas for interviews, magical creatures section, gossip, advice, poems and news. Also suggestions for other sections are allowed too.