Sunshine Cammie, Snape'sbbwlover, (), Angle1, theophania, DodgerMcClure.aka.Drama-Queen, someone28, animegrl1984, Sammy Rettop, Queen Li, Deb.., Alisama2, me [you're not my best friend, are you? because exactly the same thing I told her just some days ago… weird!] mariniel, Me, Severia, Potter, wavy avey, Elliot, KDarkMaiden, shemhamforsh, gabi, Mod, kitchen1, BlackMagic112/ROdstER WOmaN (hey, I liked your idea of the name very much, even though I can not go and change names, that'd be a bit silly… sorry it's so ordinary, I'm not really into names at all), Evil Crazy Willow, AnImEfReAk81, Abigail Evens, Elm Kitten, kathryn, Tiffie101, snickerdoodle, SH, Jesse Nozaki, KarynMarie, casi, Solitaire, curlylein (I've read your story, too! great one ;-)), SilentSoul, Sara D, someonewhocantbebotheredsigningin;
a big thank you to all of you! Because without reviews, I'm aware of that, I'm nothing.

Thanks to Mystery reklatS, who's corrected my current chapters during very stressful times!

A/N: Does anybody read the authors note? I do never. But why am I writing this? ahh, dunno, maybe because I just like talking at all. But this should be a common answer to the reviews I've got.
Some of you aren't fond of the idea of Snape and Hermione actually being romantically involved, as Alisama2 put it. Well, they will need time, that's for sure, because Hermione is still hurt and everything. Also, and I'm quite sure you all aren't very thrilled by those news, Smith won't stop with it just now. Well, he will, of course later, but not as soon as some of you may have thought or wished for Hermione's sake. No one expects from Hermione that she really has a relationship with Snape now, do you? But anyway, they WILL become a pair, it's only a matter of time (of which I have too much) and for those who'd rather have them a father/daughter relationship I hope you are not too offended by my idea.


-§-- 6. Verity --§-


Hermione wouldn't sleep much tonight.

After visiting Snape, she ran to Gryffindor tower, and took a long loop to avoid the Ravenclaw territory. She didn't even stop in the common room to greet Harry and Ron, who were playing chess. She only stopped when she reached her bed and threw herself into it, sobbing and crying into the pillow, which observed her tears.

A lot of thoughts ran through her mind that night: What shit she had gotten herself into? ... Why Snape didn't take her? ... How complicated her life was ... How soft Snape's hand had been ... Why she couldn't tell him what Smith did to her ... Why Snape had promised not to tell anyone ... Why did Snape's eyes looked so hungry when he entered? ... And how worried they became when he saw her cut.

And now she sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and listened to her friends' efforts to force some food into her.

"Hermione, you haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. You must be hungry. Now taste that bacon, it's really good!"

While Harry piled up her plate with what seemed to be everything in reach of his arm, she didn't even look in his direction.

Her eyes always wandered to the staff-table.

She looked at Snape, than at Dumbledore, then again to Snape, then to Smith and again to Snape, but everything seemed to be normal. Maybe he had just forgotten about it?

When they left the Great Hall and headed to the common room, Hermione was held back by a cold voice which all of them knew to well.

"Granger, come with me. And 5 points from Gryffindor, Potter, because there is no need to stare at me," Professor Snape said coolly, sneering down at them.

Hermione could see very dark rings under his eyes and he looked as if he hadn't slept very much last night either. Harry and Ron just looked at her with questioning expressions, but with a single movement of her hand she told them not to ask any questions.

She went with Snape without any objection. They didn't say anything on their way to his office, but Hermione could sense the tension between them.

When they finally reached it, and the door behind her closed, Hermione sat down in the big chair opposite of his desk. Snape let out a sigh and aimed a piercing glare at her.

"What happened yesterday?" he asked.

/What was that supposed to mean? Did he really want her to re-live every moment of that terrible day? /

"I mean… I know what happened", Snape continued, when he saw that Hermione wasn't eager to explain, "but I just don't understand… why. You must tell me, because at the moment I'm the only help you may get."

/Help? /

Hermione looked astonished at her professor. Would he be able to help her?

/No. No one can help me. /

"Professor… I'm… I was just… confused, you see?"

"Confused of what, Ms Granger?"

"Well… you said, you would tell Dumbledore… I just thought I should stop you…"

"-With THAT?" Snape still was upset.

"I just didn't know another way."

'There are so many other ways… She looks so helpless', he thought.

"I may inform you, Ms Granger, that THAT is not a way to convince a teacher! The most disgusting way of a teacher to abuse his status as an authority figure, is if you lay hand on one of your students. I'm very disappointed with you, I always thought you were clever enough to see that."

'Since when am I saying that she's clever?'

"I'm really sorry professor, I didn't act clever, I know that now."

"You do? Good. So I may be sure something like that will never happen again."

"Yes."

Snape stood up and walked around in his room. "Miss Granger, have tea with me."

Hermione looked at him dubiously. Tea? Snape and tea?

"I would rather not-"

"-Nonsense. Sugar?"

"No, thank you, Sir. I like the tea plain."

Snape brought them two cups of hot tea and she took a draught.

Hermione felt the hot liquid warming her body. But she also felt something else.

Out of a sudden, Snape began to speak again after a silence in the room.

"Have you ever had problems in Defence Against the Dark Arts?"

'God, Severus, why the hell do you ask her THAT question, out of all you could ask. Why don't you get straight to the point?'

'Because I might not want to know the point,' it occurred to Snape

"No, sir."

/Why don't I have control over what I'm saying? Please let it not be veritaserum…/

"So, why did your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher want to speak with you yesterday?"

"He didn't want to speak…" Hermione said, shocked to see that it had to be veritaserum, because she would have never admitted it.

A shiver ran through Snape's body. If he never intended to speak with her that afternoon, that would not be the first time.

"Did you know when he asked you to come to his office, that he wouldn't …want to speak with you?"

"Yes."

/NO! /

Snape's eyes went darker than usual.

"Since when?" his questions got a lot shorter, because he felt he couldn't stand this much longer without throwing up.

"Some months. Nearly start of the term."

"Who started it?"

"It was him…-" Hermione clutched her hand over her mouth. She gained her senses again and was shocked to find that her potions professor knew everything.

And Snape looked ready to kill. His lips were even thinner then when he put Harry in detention, and his eyes were exactly black.

His voice was strained when he spoke again.

"Did he sleep with you?"

"Professor, I don't understand… I can't…"

Snape suddenly appeared in front of her face and stared into her eyes intensely. He said loud and clear: "Did Marcus Smith rape you?"

Hermione blinked and looked down. She cried silently.

"Yes."

Snape was off. Hermione wasn't even able to watch him walk to the door, it seemed as if he just suddenly stood there.

Hermione threw herself in front of him, putting her tiny body between him and the door.

"No. You promised to tell nobody!", she cried.

"I can't believe you! You don't expect me to keep my mouth shut if that bastard is going around groping girls as if…", he broke off when he saw Hermione's expression.

"Please, sir, there are enough problems in the world. Do you really think Dumbledore needs to know of this? He has so much sorrow with Harry putting himself in danger every second of his life, and to be the leader of not only the school, but also the Order, is enough for the man. Please don't bother him with that."

Snape couldn't believe her nerve. She acted as if it was just a simple little teenage problem.

"So, there is no need to tell Dumbledore, you say. I wasn't going to him, anyway."

Hermione looked terrified.

"No, you can't tell HIM!"

"What the hell is wrong with you, girl? The prick is raping you!"

Hermione winced in pain as if he just slapped her cross the face.

'Wow, Severus! SO sensitive of you', Snape realized as he saw Hermione.

"He has got me in his hands. Please. If you tell him to stop, it will only get worse."

"What do you mean, 'he has you in his hands'? What does he know that everyone else doesn't?"

"He knows too much of my past. Please, Sir, don't ask any further. I can not tell anyone. Please…"

Snape was shocked. So she was going to let this happen to her? Without doing anything against it?

"But… You can't let him do that to you! That's wrong, and I thought you knew that! I always thought you Gryffindors would be brave and fight your enemies. That's so un-Potterish, you know?"

Hermione looked at him hurt. He knew he said too much. That was rude, even for his standards.

"Shut up," she snapped, her voice reminding him of his own.

"Ten p-"

"-And don't you dare take off house points NOW! You are a MAN, damn it, do you even have the slightest idea how much I have tried to fight him? To oppose him? I tried all those days not to surrender under his touch, under the pain, the pressure! I tried to find a way out of this, and if there would have been a chance for me to get out of this, I would have found it."

"Dumbledore would find a way! You need help!"

"I can't let them know, ok? Dumbledore may fire him, but what's about me? And even if he would find a solution, his trust in me would be broken. He may be the kindest person living, but there are laws not even Dumbledore can ignore," Hermione's voice sounded final.

Snape let his hand rest on a place at the door left to Hermione's head. He closed his eyes and sighed in resignation, his body relaxing slightly.

Just when he opened his eyes again he saw that he was dangerously near to his student, who looked at him indefinable.

Hermione bit her lip.

"So, what you're telling me, Miss Granger, is that this pervert is going to do with you whatever he likes, and I'm just able to watch you decline?", he said quietly, not even sure himself what he was saying.

Their sudden closeness embarrassed him a little, but he didn't move an inch, and didn't take his eyes away from hers.

"Oh, I guess that won't be a too big problem for YOU", her voice was indicting; she obviously was still hurt of what he said before.

She turned her back to him and slipped out of the door, leaving a confused potions master behind.

Snape was concerned, but it wasn't just that. He had gotten himself far too deep into this thing by now.

She had somehow managed to affect him so much, that her last words left him in a way he hadn't been a long time.

Hurt.

-§-

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