A Very Sirius Christmas
Chapter IV
Day had turned to twilight, and twilight was fastly fading into a velvety midwinter night as the males of the Black family, Sean Maloney and James having been added, slowly pulled on their warmest accessories for The Hunt. The four men- Sirius, James, Sean, and Mr. Black- ignored the rumbling and groaning of their stomachs as they pulled on their snow boots in the Blacks' warm kitchen, glancing jealously at the fire they would soon be leaving behind. Well, at least James and Sean were. Sirius and his father seemed overjoyed at the prospect of The Hunt. Sirius was clapping his hands together, and rubbing them in anticipation of using them to claim their prize, while his father examined the blade of his axe with interest.
'Oh, I do hope you've all eaten enough!' Mrs. Black mothered incessantly. 'You'll all be out for such a long time, and in such weather!' She glanced nervously out of the frosted kitchen window into the swirling white abyss that had obscured the trees in their vision. None of them were feeling very much on the full side, as they had just 'enjoyed' a 'hearty' meal of tofu soy hamburgers with fried tofu, in substitute for chips. The only thing that James had to look forward to was the absolutely tofu-free chocolate cake and hot chocolate that had been promised to the four returning Hunters.
'C'mon,' Sirius said suddenly, sitting up stock-still. 'The time is now. Let's go.'
He gracefully got to his feet and strode purposefully towards the door, picking up an axe from an assortment of wet gear and old galoshes. Mr. Black quickly followed suit, as did James and Sean after making heavy-hearted glances towards the still-roaring flames dancing in the kitchen grate.
As the last 'man' finally picked up his axe and headed out of the back door, the women and children anxiously followed like worrisome shadows. Katherine looked rather sympathetic for Sean, and perhaps James, but, at the same time, she appeared quite frankly relieved that she didn't have to go out in that sort of weather. Brianna looked after James with an anxious glance followed by a furious blush when he made eye contact by accident. Melanie, barely visible leaning on the doorpost behind the others, could be seen smirking in her cynical, knowing fashion. Mrs. Black, her arm around Samantha to keep her from stowing along, was waving after them all with her tea-towel the very same way you might see a woman wave a handkerchief after 'her men' as they go off to some sort of battle. Somehow, Samantha wrested herself free from her mother's tight grasp and took off clumsily through the deep snow. Once within reach, she launched herself at Sirius' leg and held on tightly, nearly making him stumble to the ground with the axe still in hand.
'Sod off, Samantha, we're on The Hunt.' Sirius growled, staring down at her with disdain.
'I want to go with you! Please can't I?!' Sammy pleaded, gripping his leg even harder.
'You know the rules, Samantha- no women!' Sirius snarled.
'I'm not a women, I'm a GIRL!' She screamed at the top of her lungs and, having removed herself from his leg, kicked him hard in a very vulnerable place- the shins.
'Dammit, Sammy, I mean females. Now go back with mum and bake or sew or something.' Sirius dismissed, turning back round.
'FINE! But you'd better get a bigger one this year, Sirius Black! The one you got last year was near as small as ME! I was a unsatisfied customer!' She called as she was ushered into the house by her mother.
With that, they set off into the quickly fading twilight, armed each with an axe, and with Sean and James lugging behind the largest, heaviest sled they had ever seen.
They reached the large stretch of woods within a few moments, and the trees around them grew larger and larger with every step they took. James really couldn't see what prevented them from just grabbing the first decent one they saw, chopping it down, and dragging the thing back to the house. In fact, James couldn't see much of a difference in any of the trees, and told the others so.
'I really don't see much of a difference in any of these trees…' James told the others in a would-be nonchalant voice.
'Obviously you've never hunted a tree before,' Sirius grunted, swiveling his head so as not to miss a single tree.
'Well, what about that one, then?' James asked, pointing to a fir tree of about fifteen feet.
'What? That one?' Sirius scoffed, looking down at the tree rather like a Malfoy might do. As matter of fact, the look on his face quite plainly said, 'I am so disgusted by you that I can't hardly stand to look upon your wretch face any longer, because of the fact that I am so incredibly better than you will ever dream of being.'
'Oh, OK,' James said dully.
'Why don't you just leave the picking to me, alright?' Sirius said, joining his father in circling a potential tree.
Sean and James looked on with definite discontent as the other pair spent no less than twenty minutes debating over the exact height of the tree, and whether or not it was in perfect proportion to its breadth.
~Two Hours Later~
'Well, the proportions are right on this one, but look at that great dirty bald patch! That's certainly not attractive.'
'And there's hardly any room left for the gifts thanks to these little boughs.'
'This is definitely not the right tree. Sean, that's the last time we listen to you about anything! You've wasted at least half an hour.'
Sirius and Mr Black circled the tree menacingly, as though wanting dearly to execute it for its insolence.
'Ah! Dad! Look!' Sirius called out with a particularly keen look in his eye, 'this one is absolutely brilliant!'
'What? Oh yes, that one is perfect. Well boys, get to it.' Mr Black said, looking at Sean and James expectantly.
'Oh, I've never cut down trees before,' James explained hastily, shooting a nervous glance at his axe, which was currently resting on the heavy sledge.
'I suppose you'll have to learn quickly, then,' Mr Black said cheerfully.
'C'mon James, this stuff is easy. I've been doing it since I was eight years of age. It's easier than kissing a girl,' Sirius told him good-naturedly, cuffing him round the shoulder.
'OK,' James consented nervously. He highly doubted that it was easier than kissing a girl. Lifting the axe was proving to be a difficult task unto itself.
James and Sean figured out more or less what they should do to fell the mighty tree, and were quite nearly killed when the heavy wood and mass of needles nearly crushed their skulls. Loading it onto the sledge was an even mightier task. It was very difficult to find hand holds on the sticky, sap-covered trunk, especially whenever Sirius and his father were yelling things such as 'be careful not to bend those branches!' and 'it if drags along the ground we'll have to get another!'
After several tedious minutes during which they were completely unassisted, James and Sean strapped the tree to the sledge, wiped their brows, and sunk into the deep snow to take a rest.
Sirius began to inspect the tree. He seemed to think that it was a quite decent tree, and as a final test, plucked a single needle from the topmost branch and put it in his mouth. As he chewed, a sort of weird grimace came upon his face.
'Nope, 'fraid not.'
'What? Why not?' Sean voiced, not a little un-angrily, looking up from his newfound cocoon of snow.
'Well Sean, this tree will only last two weeks once we've cut it, and there are about three days until Christmas, and twelve days of Christmas, so that's very obviously not enough, Sean,' Sirius explained impatiently.
'You can tell all that from eating a pine needle?' James asked.
'Yes, all real men can, right Dad?'
'That's right son,' Mr Black said proudly, clapping a hand on his only son's shoulder.
'Let's keep going!' Sirius cried enthusiastically, letting slip a mighty battle cry, pointing his axe forward as if it were a sword. With that they were gallivanting deeper and deeper into the dark forest, Sirius rushing far ahead with unprecedented vigour.
James soon came to notice that the trees were beginning to get closer and closer together as the foliage overhead blocked out the little moonlight that had previously guided their way. James also started noticing strange, glowing red and yellow eyes peering evilly at them from all sides.
'Perhaps we should head back,' Sean said nervously. Of course this suggestion was utterly ignored.
~Two and One-Half Hours Later~
'How about this one?' James asked for the five-hundred and eighty-seventh time, his voice beginning to sound hoarse from asking.
'No,' Sirius told him for the five-hundred and eighty-seventh time.
'How about this one?'
'No.'
'What about this one?'
'No.'
'This one?'
'No.'
'This-'
'No. No. No.'
'But how about this-'
However, at this time, the branch Sirius was holding back for the others to pass through was now flying at James with the incredible speed that only a catapult can muster. James, having recovered from his severe beating by the branch, had suspicions that Sirius might have done it on purpose. In fact, he was quite sure that it had nothing to do with accident.
'How about this one?'
FWOP
'Well, what about this one?'
FWOP
'Just look at this one here!'
FWOP
'Look,' Sirius said slowly and deliberately as if explaining to a very obstinate three-year-old, 'I don't know if you realise this, but I'm hitting you on purpose. If you don't shut up quickly, I may be forced to uproot a tree and beat you mercilessly with it.'
Suddenly James found that he had nothing more to say and no more suggestions. In fact, he trudged along in absolute silence for quite some time.
After a few hours, James kind of wanted to talk again. He didn't much care to whom. Talking to Sirius was quite out of the question as he was currently swinging up in the branches of a tree to test for ornament-holding capabilities, or 'OHC,' as he called it.
'So, Sean,' James began awkwardly, 'you went to Hogwarts, then?'
'Yes.'
'What house were you in? Gryffindor?' James questioned.
'No.'
'What house, then?' James asked again.
'Ravenclaw.'
'Oh… play any quidditch at all?' James tried again.
'No.'
'Then I guess you were a prefect then?'
'Yes.'
'I'm also a prefect.'
'Oh.'
'Were you Head Boy?'
'Yes.'
'I'm going to be Head Boy, no competition.'
'Ok.'
'I like quidditch.'
'Listen, James, I would love to talk to you about this, but I'm just not in a really 'talky' sort of mood. I feel generally rather unpleasant, and my lips are nearing the point of frostbite. Save this for another time.'
'Alright,' James said, uncomfortably shoving his hands into his pockets.
'Shut up, you're frightening away the game!' Sirius hissed angrily.
~Two Hours Later~
'Ah! My men have returned!' Mrs Black cried, scooping Sirius and Mr Black into an enourmous hug. Though usually embarrassed by such a display of affection, it seemed that Sirius rather liked getting the attention over their wonderful deed. 'It must have been frightfully cold and dark! You were all so brave!' Mrs Black said proudly as she quickly offered them all steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Sammy was looking on just as eager and enthusiastic about their new tree and the 'conquering heroes.' While Mrs Black and Samantha were ooing and awing at the new tree through the window the others were looking at the state of Sean and James in abject horror.
'Aw, dad! What'd you do to them?' Katherine asked anxiously as she began inspecting Sean's face, which happened to be covered by various cuts, bruises, and other mild surface lacerations in addition to a blossoming black eye.
'Oh, nonsense, Katherine. We were just out having a good time in nature. Isn't that right Sean?' Mr. Black asked with a huge slap to Sean's back. Sean tried his hardest to smile in return but instead managed a pained grimace as his balance was slightly upset by the unexpected hearty slap on his back. Katherine just rolled her eyes as her father led Mrs Black and the others out to inspect the tree closer.
'Oh, it's even better than last year's, dear.'
'And, have you noticed, it's much taller than last year's too,' Sirius interjected.
'Oh! And look at how lush and green the branches are.'
'And there's more room for presents underneath it,' Sirius added proudly.
James, being very sick indeed of anything having to do with trees or being outside in the cold, decided to head back into the warmth of the house. It didn't take long before he noticed Katherine kissing poor Sean's head (the twins were, of course, running up to him and squealing as they vigourously inspected his wounds.) James was missing Lily more than ever. He forlornly sat on the couch to think about Lily ('Two days to go. Two days to go…') Suddenly he felt the couch shift under the weight of someone sitting beside him.
'James, would you like some hot chocolate?' Melanie asked James, noticing his violent tremours.
'Derr-hur-ff-fff-' James stuttered, moving as though to pitch head first into the hearth.
'Oh…alright, then,' Melanie decided, handing a large mug to James.
James took the cup and held it dearly close to him, his hands shaking in such a way that the liquid over-flowed sporadically from all sides of the cup. He really didn't seem to mind that the steaming beverage was dripping all over his hands and arms.
'I tried to warn you,' Melanie said, sounding sympathetic as Brianna scooted her way towards James, looking as if she'd like to kiss away his wounds any time. While James was trying to avoid eye contact with Brianna, he noticed that the living room's ceiling was now nearly twice the height it had been before he left the house. Mr Black was quickly shrinking the newly dubbed 'Best Christmas tree EVER!' so as to bring it into the living room while Sirius was loudly rustling through their hallway closet, roughly tossing out several cardboard boxes that read in his own scratchy scrawl 'X-mas ornaments!!!' The moment the tree was set in place a large enthusiastic cry rang through the living room.
'TIME TO DECORATE THE TREE!!!' Sirius yelled, all the while balancing the several cumbersome boxes of ornaments and running towards the tree at breakneck speed. The family didn't need telling twice. In no time at all they were all participating in the decorating of the tree with various old ornaments, many of which were homemade and manufactured out of Popsicle sticks. Mrs Black was hanging the ornaments of her favourite Rugby team while Melanie and Mr Black doled out the live faeries for good measure. Sirius ardently handed out ornaments and oversaw their placement, not seeming to notice James' bruises, or the fact that he was sound asleep on the couch. In fact, no one really noticed James at all since the tree was being decorated.
In order to add to the Christmas spirit and also to adhere with the long list of Black family traditions, Mrs Black put on their slightly old, slightly scratched 'Bing Crosby Christmas Special' record. As 'I'm dreaming of a White Christmas' echoed sleepily though the house, James slept on obliviously with visions of Lily dancing in his head.
***
Sirius had been acting rather peculiarly in the following days. He had disappeared from the household for long amounts of time and would not let James into the room until he had covertly looked down the hallways from his mysteriously darkened bedroom. One time Brianna came up to tell them it was time for dinner and swore she heard something alive under the bed. No one was really surprised that she heard something alive under the bed, for Sirius didn't keep his room exactly neat and clean (especially underneath his bed, which had been known to house animals and forgotten food before.)
After growing bored of intellectual discourse with Melanie, James made his way up to Sirius' room to write yet another letter to Lily. James came into Sirius' room to find that Sirius was mysteriously missing for the third time that day. But as James was quite used to this around birthdays and such at Hogwarts, he quickly assumed that Sirius just did the same thing at his house around the Christmas holidays. In order to make sure Sirius was truly not there James was about to yell 'Sirius!' but stopped himself upon hearing an eerie noise drifting from the closet. It sounded suspiciously like classical music. Noticing that the light was on in the closet, and thus intrigued, James went closer to more thoroughly inspect it. He approached it with not a little trepidation, as he had never, in fact, been in Sirius' closet; knowing full well it was probably for a good reason considering the state of the rest of Sirius' bedroom (especially under the bed). Upon opening the door James found himself very much surprised, for instead of there being a mess of clothes and forgotten sandwiches or some kind of starved dark creature that had been put there for 'safe keeping' (as had happened in a similar experience back in second year) he found a very startled Sirius sitting on a bean bag, a tiny pair of reading glasses askew on his face, a record player sitting on top of a impeccably organised book shelf playing the complete opuses of Chopin, and with a book in his hands: A book which was quickly tossed aside.
'Er- Hello James. What brings you here?'
'I was looking for you and the light was on in your closet… What was that book?'
'What book?'
'The one you just threw over here,' James said, going to pick up the incriminating book.
'Wait- DON'T!' Sirius cried, but it was too late.
'What is this? Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen? I didn't know you read anything other than dirty magazines and comics, Padfoot,' James teased, snatching the book to more closely scrutinize it.
'I wasn't reading that…' Sirius muttered lamely.
'Yeah, right.'
'I wasn't'
'It's okay, Sir. It's not like I'm going to 'tell someone' that Sirius Black is a closet classical novel reader,' James said, looking around the closet and noting Sirius had a great number of very thick novels, all very worn and all having obviously been read many times before. 'Why do you have them all hidden in your closet anyways? It's not like you'd be ostracized or anything.' At this point Sirius was blushing vehemently.
'Don't- tell- anyone,' Sirius growled through his teeth.
'Yar, yar. Besides, who'd believe me? It's about as believable as the fact that you play the piano,' James replied, tossing the novel back to Sirius, who deftly caught it. Sirius was looking on with a mixture of utter loathing and mortification on his face.
'How long have you known?'
'For about- oh, four years now. Remember when I heard you playing in my house that time?'
'Well- yes, but I told you it was one of your house elves.'
'Hah! And you thought I believed you?'
'Well, a guy can hope,' Sirius smirked before turning on some very loud Beatles music. 'I need to de-geek myself now!' He yelled over the music as James sat down to write his other letter to Lily.
Now, it was hard enough to write Lily under the best of circumstances (he always got writer's block with her) but with Sirius playing 'that music' with the bass turned all the way up… It made it quite hard indeed… oh yes…
After some halfhearted attempts at writing a romantic soliloquy, James decided to spend his time doing something g much more productive; counting down the hours, minutes and seconds till he'd see Lily.
'Lets see now… twenty six hours, forty four minutes and…twenty one seconds…' He mumbled as Sirius tossed his tiny reading glasses under his bed, which growled in return.
***
END OF CHAPTER FOUR
A/N: Yay!!! We've finally written and updated! Sorry for taking so terribly long. We've both been very busy and started calling this 'the chapter that resembles a lead weight strung about someone's neck till they turn blue and die!' Thank you everyone for being patient (or wanting to be patient, or even thinking about being patient.) We've been really awful on updates, I know. Now that I've thanked everyone and spoken to each individual once I feel a precedent has been set that I can't change… The next update may or may not have personalized 'thank you's depending on how busy I am, but know we will always be very appreciative of each and every review. Thanks are in order for those who reviewed! :)
Thanks to the following people:
Britany: One of the best fics you've ever read? ;*) *sniffs Thank you. And thanks for commenting our sense of humour. We really hope we have a good one. I want to hope we have that and good taste but as they said in When Harry Met Sally 'Everyone thinks they have a good sense of humour and good taste, but they can't all possibly have both.'
Hermione-in-space: A very happy and very belated happy birthday to you! Sorry we haven't been updating ;/
Moon*Wolf2: Sorry for not updating soon, but hopefully we've been keeping the work good. We'll have to see…hmm. But as you can see, poor Jamsie…
mystical dreams: Ah, it should be you poor thing, singular, for Jess didn't stay up late writing those bizarre thank you-replies. ;) Grrr. I'm not bitter in the least…Actually I'm not bitter, but I am very egocentric. ;) I wrote 98% of them and Jess was in the room for the last two percent. She was very helpful for that last two percent. So, back to you and away from my lamenting, why are you known as prongs, m'dear?
Oneiros lykos: DUDE! (heh heh.) I love writing personal replies to people. It cheers me up :) You're very welcome for continuing the story. I love giving Sirius the life he should have had. Poor Sirius… :(
princess17: I love having royalty present. It makes me feel much more proper. Thanks for calling our fic super. That makes me have a warm toasty feeling. :)
Cremia: I'm so glad you like our fic! :) I love laughing hysterically and earning strange looks from my friends/family, whichever is present at the moment. I like to do it without my computer present sometimes when coming up with a kooky fic idea. I must say that when I randomly (to them at least) start laughing out loud it must look like I'm mentally subnormal. Sorry we didn't update sooner. And you asked so nicely too…
little-lost-one: Thanks for reviewing. It was very short and to the point, indeed. We didn't add more soon, but aren't you glad we added a whole chapter without splitting it up or anything? :)
BB Raeaper: Sorry to be so off topic but, how do you pronounce your name? I keep trying to say it out loud and just can't. Oh…never mind… That first 'a' isn't supposed to be there as I've just read in you review. I would edit what I just typed out but I'm too lazy to do that. Yes, my dear friend, you deserved two smileys. I really enjoyed your little anecdote thingy.:) What would you call it? Hmm… Well, I like it what ever it was. :)
Elven Warrior 1: Do you like Lord of the Rings? I sure do. I wish I had time to read the books though. I have yet to read them. I've only read the hobbit and seen a whole assortment of Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies. I'm glad you like, you like, you like, you like our fic so much. ;)
lollipop princess: We are very unoriginal when it comes to names, I guess, for we didn't change our names or come up with something clever like many of you reviewers have. We are simply Hillary and Jess, the very same thing we are in real life. Little brothers can be a pain. I am technically an only child (yay!!!) but have dealt with half-brothers and little cousins a lot in the past. Yes, I'm very happy I never had to deal with siblings. It made growing up much easier and less stressful.
Levena Hearts: Yes, as said before, Star Wars would have been a very funny film for them to see. I can just see Sirius going mad with impressions of wookies and yoda-speak and using his wand as a light saber. Unfortunately Star Wars came out in 1977 and this story is set in 1976 and we are going for as much authenticity as we can. :)
lelegurl9: I'm glad we didn't stop the story because of tOoTP too. Yes, that book is a little depressing, but it's my second favourite of the series because it gave us lots of character development. My favourite of course is the Prisoner fo Azkaban, but this book was very good and I liked that it didn't have a black and white climax like the other books did. The flow seemed to be more real to me than many of the other books. Well you got an ear full. ;)
Carolinus Took: I have blamed my old Physics teacher from way back in the day for most evils in the world. I still think it's best to blame him for things. I don't really dislike him, I just like being able to complain about him though I haven't seen the man in years. I'll always remember that he told me I'd be penniless and unhappy because my profession is Studio Art. Well I am neither! Ah HAH! I have many pennies and am very happy indeed. We are still going to continue on with this fic, though the pace of updates will most probably make people have seizures. ;/
Little House Girl: Our story is interesting! Oh I'm so delighted it hasn't bored people thus far. :) As stated before, you can't discern anything about us from our name except that our names are in fact Hillary and Jess. We will continue on! :)
Star23: I love your reviews. It's as simple as that. They always point out precise bits you enjoyed, giving us a clear picture of what made the reading pleasurable to you. I just love getting you detailed reviews! Thank you!
crazy-chic2: Aw, I know we've been horrible about updating. Hopefully this won't continue on…hopefully. We'll really try though. You just keep on our back, ok?
Technicolor: Thank you so much for your review. Not only was it nice and flattering but also, it was written very well. I hate it when I see those 'update soons' written at the end and I'm replying about a month later. It makes me feel so guilty.
Zanella: Wow Zanella, you really give Star a run for her money with detailed reviews! ;) (just kidding Star) As said before, I love detailed reviews and you did one for each chapter in one day! That makes me happier than I can express. :D
Brittany: I'm glad you think it's great, and yes, we are going to write more.
Euca: You spell much better than many native speakers/spellers. Very good job! Yes, it's out of canon, but that's ok. We've come to terms with it. Thank you for your support. Keep practicing your English by reviewing ;)
Uknowwhoslittleprincess: We seem to make lots of parents stop and stare at their offspring as they laugh far too loudly for their own good. I hope it's not causing any trouble on the home front ;) I know I should know, but I'm an old fuddy-duddy and 'web-speak' is very foreign to me. What does roflmao mean? I think it starts rolling on the floor laughing maniacally…then I can't think what the rest could stand for…
Uglinessrox55: Three 'lol's in one review. I may be an old fuddy-duddy, but I know what that means! Glad you thought the fic was funny :)
perdy pink pineapples 1: The whole scene with the door was lots of fun writing. I'm a big fan of Christmas music and thoroughly believe we should listen to it year-round. I do, which drives some people mad when it's 90 degrees out and there I am singing 'In the bleak midwinter.'
Trashcan: Well, it took us nearly forever to update then and now it's been a month since our last update. We're really trying to get our act in gear, though.
April: Hope this last chapter was long enough, April. Is that your real name or a pseudo-name? Or can you tell me? If not, I won't be offended. I'm very private online personally, not even revealing precisely where I live.
running out of ink: I just love getting reviews with detailed account of what you like! Thank you! I like that part too. It cracks me up every time. :)
If some of you are wondering, yes, I still know it's you even though I typed your now updated name. Isn't it fun how many have numbers tagged onto their names now? I find it at least mildly amusing. Hopefully we'll update soon. Realistically, probably not, knowing us, but we'll try and that's what counts, right?
-Hillary and (not technically) Jess
(Jess is not present, but I'm sure she wants to be)
I would like to inform everyone that my birthday is September 22! I'll be old, but who knows if we will have updated by then. I am very excited about this birthday, not because I am reaching a certain age, but because I have everything I truly need and have no idea whatsoever as to what I will receive.
-Hillary