Ewan's girl Thank you! Athena Leigh Oh, it will definitely be unpleasant.

Sixteen: Never Tomorrow

I'm standing in the kitchen, leaning on the counter with my hands bracing the rim.

Obi-Wan's tying the sash of his tunic and I can tell by his lively movements that he's looking forward to our scheduled exertions in the sparring arena today. But a measure of his energy is due to a surge of adrenaline, because not long after Mace left, my Padawan walked out of his bedroom, obviously disturbed by the stirring in the apartment.

Once again, others, intruders, who try to tell me I'm the cause of his distress are the true cause of it.

I can't be the only Master in the Temple who realizes my methods are more than sensible--they're required.

After all, my old way of doing things wasn't too effective, was it?

No. I can't think of it again. Not now.

I press my eyes shut.

"Master, it's nearly eleventh chime."

And it's perhaps the first time I've been grieved by the soft tone of Obi-Wan's voice.

Stupid of you, to pretend that the meeting wasn't real, to try to put it out of your mind.

But then, what happened to living in the present, focusing on current events rather than the future?

I AM focusing on the now…NOW I must protect my Padawan, because…I didn't…

In the past.

And the future is something that should remain murky in its uncertainties. Because I can't think of those tomorrows in the far horizon…when I reach them, what if I'm alone…when he's promoted and I'm alone…or gods what if…

An acrid taste pools dry in my mouth. "Thank you, Padawan." I rub my eyes.

His brows stretch flat in concern. "Master?"

I sigh. "Obi-Wan…I think perhaps you would benefit from a little variance in your training."

His expression is unchanged, and for some reason, that makes it all the worse, because he's waiting, depending on me for explanation…

When it's something I myself can't understand.

"While you were resting yesterday I was recruited for a meeting, and since it begins at eleventh chime…" I have to chip away fragments of the boulder in order to speak. "Master Windu will be instructing you in sparring today."

"Oh." He looks down, gathering his towel and clipping his saber to his belt. "What does the meeting concern?"

I offer a counterfeit smile and head toward the door. I know honesty is pivotal in the success and harmony of an apprenticeship, that as a Master I am the key role model in Obi-Wan's life.

But some things are handled better through lies. It's better for me. And it's certainly better for him. What would he think if he knew I was visiting a mind healer? That the purpose of the visit was him?

No. I glance at his face and see the unwavering trust, the light that radiates as it never did when he was the dejected…rejected boy on Bandomeer. I hold that precious effulgence in my hands. I always have, and I'm a fool for never realizing. Of course Obi-Wan will burn brightly in the Force despite anything, no outside influence could bank that flame, but now, with acceptance and--love, the beautiful conflagration grows, a purely white light, in the Force, in his face, in his soul.

It's the reason he survived Ejhlon.

And the reason I slowly withered in the cold without him.

"I haven't the foggiest idea, Padawan." I wait for him to join me in the hall, then activate the locking mechanism. "But at least you were spared the aggravation."

He laughs quietly. "You're a complete liar, Master."

It takes my entire reserve of cool not to gasp aloud. How could he know? He was asleep…and I've selectively shielded myself so he couldn't know…this can't be right… "And how's that?"

My voice is hollow, almost shaking.

"Because, " Obi-Wan continues with a smile, less spirited, "How could I be spared the aggravation when I'll have to endure your pitiful wining when you return?"

Thank the Force. My muscles relax. I even manage a chuckle. "I'm not too sure, Obi-Wan. I hid all your earplugs a long time ago."

That gleans a pleased laugh, and we walk into an empty lift.

The steel door slides shut.

As the terminal shoots downward, I fold my hands in front of me. "This will only be for today, Obi-Wan." I assure him.

He turns his head and smiles. "I know. I-I'll return as soon as the spar's over."

I ruffle his hair. One less thing to worry about. "Good. I hope this meeting doesn't take too long."

When the door opens, Mace is standing there.

"Good morning, Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan gives a shallow bow. "Good morning, Master Windu."

He nods in recognition, then fixes his dark eyes on me. "I can take it from here, friend. May the Force be with you."

I've never failed to return the salutation, but today I just nod to Obi-Wan, then step back into the lift.