Jedi_Keladry Hey! Just saw you on the boards. And thanks again for such flattering comments. Ewan's girl I think it's safe to say Obi-Wan won't be quiet about this forever. Athena Leigh Since it's from a POV, we won't really hear much of what Mace and Obi-Wan may have talked about--which is why a companion piece, from Obi-Wan's view, is being planned.

Seventeen: Powerless

I've made treks that tested more than the endurance of my body. I've climbed jagged mountainsides with sore feet and heart, reaching my destination with relief swimming in my eyes.

But my eyes are dry today.

And my target in the distance isn't one I relish meeting.

My boots clack against the smooth flooring, betrayers taking me steps closer, though I will them to be still. Yet I can't blame them, really.

Because, at times like this, I wish I weren't so utterly bound by the Code. I know it's laced me together with those I cherish most-Tahl, Obi-Wan-but concurrently it tightens every last string, tethering me to the Order and tying my hands.

Obligation is what truly carries me down these strips of cool silver hallway (and gods if it doesn't seem like the splintering dark wood of a plank!).

But, deeper than that, the veritable power cell of my system, is my obligation to my apprentice.

Obligation. Hm. Is it even that? I can't be sure.

I don't feel constricted by my responsibility to him. Wanting to care for him, to flip the pages of the history book to a section I know he'll love…those urges don't choke or jerk my neck like rough-hewn rope.

Rather they pull together what was unraveling inside me.

I stop in the middle of the corridor, on the brink of doubling over--

Or discarding my duties to the Council and running back to him, pulling him from that huge, insecure, crowded arena and every possible threat I can and then these awful, gray, clustering clouds can lift from my mind and I won't have the frenzy of worrying and he won't worry and he'll be alright and safe gods I just want him to be safe--

"Master Jinn?"

A voice threads through my thoughts and my head rises. I blink to clear the mist from my eyes. "Master Meelon…h-hello."

She offers a sympathetic? Smile, a relatively young woman with a thick body, wrapped in a soft lavender tunic with chestnut boots the same tone as her hair, long and waving to her waist. Her blue eyes--striking in similarity to the shade of Obi-Wan's-fix on me. "You were a bit late. I was checking to be sure you remembered our appointment." She explains, not unkindly.

And then I realize how long I must have been standing in the hall. A flush heats my frozen body. "I apologize, Master." We're not far from the small collection of psychiatric offices within the Temple and walk to them wordlessly.

"I hope the--circumstances surrounding our meeting doesn't sour your opinion of it, or me, Master Jinn." Meelon confides after awhile, gaze steady on my face as the door slides open. "I sense the disruptions within you. I know you don't want to be here."

I follow her inside. It's a quaint, well-lit room, smelling faintly of some sort of sweet spice.

But the most glittering luxuries can't distract me from the fact that this is a prison.

Nevertheless, I take a seat on a long, narrow couch. "With all due respect, Master Meelon, not many would accept the invitation gladly." I wait for her to sit in a crisp, cream desk chair across from me. "After all, this is only happening because Councilor Windu believes me too incompetent to teach my own Padawan."

Her pale, naturally blushed face is lit by the lamps behind her. "Now I don't think incompetent is the appropriate word, Master Jinn. You're an extremely capable Jedi and have taught Padawan Kenobi well."

Until now, right? "And, from your reputation, I know you're a very gifted mind healer. But honestly I don't see where I need your help."

She tilts her chin against a finger. "You don't find anything wrong with the present situation with your apprentice?"

There isn't any hidden or sharp cynicism in her inquiry. It's but a genuine question…and I can answer it easily. "No. He's a bright student who continuously excels in whatever he focuses on."

"But that nature has been stilted recently, hasn't it? He refused the offer to read his speech at--"

"That was his decision and no one should argue with it." I snap back. I don't care to hear the rest. I've heard it often enough.

Her eyes are unaffected by my outburst, jewels of azure that look…like his…But there are no bruises to frame them. So what can she know of pain, of his pain and his reasons for turning down the Chancellor's request?

"When you believe your apprentice is wrong in his thinking--do you not argue with him? She wonders gently.

I release a breath. "He wasn't wrong."

"That isn't what I asked." She responds with a maddening calm. "I asked if you seek to correct you apprentice when he errs."

"If you're inferring that--"

"I'm not inferring anything, Master Jinn." Her voice is slow and attempts--unsuccessfully-to be disarming. "I simply want to know if you argue with him when he is wrong."

He WASN'T wrong. "Yes. When I think he's making a serious mistake, I talk with him and I advise him."

"Does he become angry when you make such interventions?"

Just imagining Obi-Wan in a state of ire is difficult, and completely unrealistic. I don't think he could scream a curse to save his life…

My eyes seal as a pain shocks my chest. Did he ever scream…then?

"Master Jinn?"

I shudder and open my eyes to her again. "Obi-Wan doesn't show anger, but when he disagrees, he makes it known in his own way. Mostly a, a stifled frustration."

"And does that hinder you from making your point heard?"

"No. I know it's for his ultimate benefit and in the end he'll understand why I objected his actions." I shake my head with an ironic smile as the true meaning of her line of questioning dawns. "I thought you weren't making any inferences, Master Meelon?"

She shrugs her small shoulders. "What you perceive is in your own power."

I want badly to tell her how wrong she is--for suddenly, I feel wholly powerless.