I do not own Final Fantasy X, Barney or any thing else in this story.
Please review!! Yes Barney is going to be in every chapter. A chapter of my story without barney is like Kimahri without lip stick.
Tidus wakes up to find himself floating in the calm blue waters of a nearby island.
"Damn cucumber.." Tidus mutters to himself.
All of a sudden a blitz ball is heading straight towards Tidus.
(Tidus Narration) As soon as I saw that Blitz ball I knew I had to make a quick decision. I had a few choices, I
could either A) Catch it like a pro, B) duck, or C) stand there and let it hit me in the face.
Tidus chose option C. The blitz ball whacks Tidus full in the face and he yelps in agony.
Tidus looks to the shore of the island. There was a group of people standing there staring at him.
"Hey! You all right?" one of the called out.
Tidus ignores the man and focuses on the blitz ball.
" WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE MISTER!! HITTING ME IN THE FACE LIKE THAT! WHAT
DID I EVER DO TO YOU? OH NO DON'T YOU GO MAKING THAT FACE AT ME! YOU DID
IT ON PURPOSE!! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF AYE? GOT NOTHING
TO SAY AYE? IS THAT BECAUSE YOU THINK YOUR TO DAMN GOOD TO TALK TO ME!!?
OH YOUR GONNA GET IT NOW!!"
Tidus throws a punch at the blitz ball, which happens to just move out of the way at the last second.
"Aaaah" Tidus yells and tries again. A huge wave comes up behind Tidus, before he can actually hit
the blitz ball, and carries them both on to the sandy shore.
Tidus gets up, tackles the ball and bites it.
"Um hi." someone said from behind Tidus.
Tidus quickly spins around and throws the blitz ball, which hits a man with a plaster on his nose and
knocks him out.
"HEY! What'd you do that for ya?"
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean too. Its just that when someone talks to me from behind its usually Barney"
"Right...are you feeling okay? " The man asked.
"Yes" Tidus said, " why wouldn't I be?"
"Um no reason. Oh im Wakka captain of the Besaid Aurochs. You gotta a name?"
"My names Ti-"
"Oh you cant remember your name is that because you got to close to sin and his bad body odour made your mind go all foggy like? Oh yes I understand."
" No my names Tid-"
" Its okay, its okay I'll take you back to the village"
"Wait, whats sin?"
"Oh sins a giant fish that likes killing things, sin must've bought you here, damn him cursing us with your presence."
"No, no Wakka a giant cucumber bought me here!"
Wakka stares at Tidus.
"A cucumber?"
"Yep"
"Wow sins BO is really bad, come on lets go"
(Tidus Narration)
I felt like I could trust Wakka, so I just had to ask.
"Wakka, do you think im pretty?"
There was an awkward silence.
"I don't think the blitz ball in your hair really goes with your tutu ya?"
" What blitz ball?" Tidus feels his hair and pulls out the blitz ball he was arguing with earlier and
drops it.
" OH so now your stalking me. That's it" Tidus yells and lunges at the ball, Wakka pulls him back
and throws him in the water. Wakka jumps in afterwards.
Tidus begins to drown, so Wakka has to drag him along. A few insects attack them along the way,
but they luckily escape . Wakka pulls Tidus out of the water.
"Got a favour to ask ya." He tells Tidus.
"You want me in you team right?"
"Hell no!! You couldn't even catch the ball and you can't swim! . I was wondering what shampoo you use ya?"
"I like to be in a position where I can get lots of attention okay! OH and I so can swim!"
"oh yes that's why I had to drag you all the way"
"I was testing you"
"For what"
"For Cancer!"
"Oh what was the results?"
"Your fine, quite healthy indeed"
"Oh that's a relief"
" I'd love to be in your team Wakka! Thanks for the invitation!"
"I didn't say that!" "No you cant be in our team were bad enough as it is!"
"Oh were going to have so much fun!!"
Wakka gives up and decides he'll try to talk Tidus out of it later or just kill him when he's sleeping.
Wakka and Tidus carry on walking to the village.
"Um wakka, have you noticed that were being stalked by a Turkey?"
"Huh?" Wakka turned around to see a Turkey. He picks it up.
"Oh this is my brother Chappu! Chappu meet the guy who has no name"
"Your brothers a Turkey? Oh and for the last time my names Ti-"
"He wasn't always a turkey, you see sin killed him and then he was reincarnated into this Turkey!"
"How do you know that?"
"Oh I was playing blitz ball one day and then this Turkey appears outta no where and starts attacking
the ball. Chappu looks like you."
" How could you Wakka I thought you were my friend!"
"What'd I do!"
"You said I looked like a Turkey!"
" You know we should take you to Luca, that's where the Bliztball
Tournament is held."
"Let me guess some one might know me?"
" No they also have a nice mental institution."
"Im not mental"
Wakka patted Tidus on the shoulder " Of course your not, just keep telling yourself that and don't
worry about that giant cucumber, its not real"
"It is! It took me away from the Al Bhed ship!"
"Aaaah! Damn the Al bhed"
"Why, what did they do?"
"They lied about what shampoo they used to everyone in Spira, and look what happened to the
unfortunate people who believed them"
Tidus gave Wakka a questioning look and Wakka explained by pointing to his hair.
" And now they unleash giant cucumbers on us!" Wakka said
"Gobble" Chappu said
"Yes your absolutely right!"
"Yes.." Tidus said and quickened his pace
" I think someone else is stalking us" Tidus mentioned quietly.
"Really?" Wakka asked, "What ever happens we must protect Chappu, he hasn't go any weapons"
"I don't have a weapon"
"Yes well no one cares about you"
Wakka and Tidus stopped as they heard footsteps. Then they saw 2 men walking towards them.
"Ah the one wearing the tutu" Said the first man.
"Be on guard, theres fiends on the road today!" Said the second man.
They then both held up signs and ran off.
One sign said: IM NOT HERE.
The second said: WE DISAPEARED.
"Wow how'd they do that?" Tidus asked in awe.
"We'll never find out I guess. Unless we become crusaders."
" Clowns?"
"I said Crusaders! You can ask them yourself, when we get to the village."
Suddenly a purple banana dropped out of a tree.
"KILL THE FIEND!!" Yelled Wakka.
Tidus attacked Wakka.
"FIEND! NOT FRIEND!"
Wakka ran to the banana but slipped over.
"Damn it," He muttered. " Its power full"
Tidus tried to punch it but because his aim is so bad he punched a rock next to it.
"OWEEE PAINEEEE!!" Tidus shouted and flapped his arms up and down like a mad man,
He fell over. Wakka crawled over to him.
"BOY! BOY! ARE YOU OKAY"
"I don't think..I can go on"
Wakka collapsed next to him.
"I know.but at least we tried."
A loud Gobble noise was heard from the trees and a turkey came into view swinging on a vine.
This turkey was not a normal turkey. It had a red cape and a matching eye mask. On the back of the
cape there was the words SUPER TURKEY!
Super Turkey lands beside the banana and begins to scratch and peck at it, and then starts to eat it.
An evil laugh was then sounded and Barney appeared. Tidus and Wakka lay helplessly on the ground
as Barney advanced towards them. They tried to get Super Turkeys attention, but he was busy eating
the banana. Barney grabbed them by the backs of their clothes and dragged them off into the trees.
Wakka fainted from thinking about where Chappu was and Tidus fainted from thinking.
When Tidus awoke he found himself tied up with dental floss. He turned his head to see Wakka next
to him drooling and muttering " Mmmmm toilet paper.."
He looked around. Barney was no where to be seen. Then all of a sudden a penguin flew into view and
landed in front of him.
"Hey penguins can't fly."
"Then maybe im not a penguin."
"Then what are you?"
" A penguin"
"But you just said.."
"Silence or I will poop on your head!" The penguin hissed.
Tidus gulped and thought about what he should do. He gave up after 10 seconds and started thinking
about pretty things like flowers and butterflies.
A rustling sound from the trees interrupted Tidus' thoughts.
Out came 3 people .well not people.
"We meet again Tidus, I see you've got a friend. Oh that's good cause I have 2 friends. Meet Baby
Bop and B jay"
Barney handed a purple banana to the penguin.
"Thank you for guarding them"
"Anything for you oh great one" The penguin replied and bowed.
"Now Tidus" Barney said " I told you last time, that I always get what I want and im pretty sure that by now you know what I want."
Tidus thought for a second " My tutu?"
"NO! I want a hug!!"
Baby bop, Barney and B jay then started singing,
"I love you, You love me, were a happy family."
Tidus starts to scream.
This woke Wakka up. When Wakka saw what danger they were in. He began to scream too.
B jay, Baby bop and Barney began closing in on them, when Super Turkey came to the rescue!!
Super Turkey shoved a firework in Barneys mouth and down his throat. Super Turkey then lit it
and Barney exploded into lots of pretty colours. Baby Bop and B jay ran off screaming.
Super Turkey pecked through the dental floss and dragged the unconscious (from screaming) Wakka
and Tidus to the Besaid Village.
He put them in bed and tucked them in. He even put a teddy bed next to Wakka so he wouldn't have
any nightmares.
Super Turkey then jumped into the oven and slammed the door behind him. When the door opened
Super Turkey was no where to be found, and out came Chappu.
Please review!! Yes Barney is going to be in every chapter. A chapter of my story without barney is like Kimahri without lip stick.
Tidus wakes up to find himself floating in the calm blue waters of a nearby island.
"Damn cucumber.." Tidus mutters to himself.
All of a sudden a blitz ball is heading straight towards Tidus.
(Tidus Narration) As soon as I saw that Blitz ball I knew I had to make a quick decision. I had a few choices, I
could either A) Catch it like a pro, B) duck, or C) stand there and let it hit me in the face.
Tidus chose option C. The blitz ball whacks Tidus full in the face and he yelps in agony.
Tidus looks to the shore of the island. There was a group of people standing there staring at him.
"Hey! You all right?" one of the called out.
Tidus ignores the man and focuses on the blitz ball.
" WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE MISTER!! HITTING ME IN THE FACE LIKE THAT! WHAT
DID I EVER DO TO YOU? OH NO DON'T YOU GO MAKING THAT FACE AT ME! YOU DID
IT ON PURPOSE!! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF AYE? GOT NOTHING
TO SAY AYE? IS THAT BECAUSE YOU THINK YOUR TO DAMN GOOD TO TALK TO ME!!?
OH YOUR GONNA GET IT NOW!!"
Tidus throws a punch at the blitz ball, which happens to just move out of the way at the last second.
"Aaaah" Tidus yells and tries again. A huge wave comes up behind Tidus, before he can actually hit
the blitz ball, and carries them both on to the sandy shore.
Tidus gets up, tackles the ball and bites it.
"Um hi." someone said from behind Tidus.
Tidus quickly spins around and throws the blitz ball, which hits a man with a plaster on his nose and
knocks him out.
"HEY! What'd you do that for ya?"
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean too. Its just that when someone talks to me from behind its usually Barney"
"Right...are you feeling okay? " The man asked.
"Yes" Tidus said, " why wouldn't I be?"
"Um no reason. Oh im Wakka captain of the Besaid Aurochs. You gotta a name?"
"My names Ti-"
"Oh you cant remember your name is that because you got to close to sin and his bad body odour made your mind go all foggy like? Oh yes I understand."
" No my names Tid-"
" Its okay, its okay I'll take you back to the village"
"Wait, whats sin?"
"Oh sins a giant fish that likes killing things, sin must've bought you here, damn him cursing us with your presence."
"No, no Wakka a giant cucumber bought me here!"
Wakka stares at Tidus.
"A cucumber?"
"Yep"
"Wow sins BO is really bad, come on lets go"
(Tidus Narration)
I felt like I could trust Wakka, so I just had to ask.
"Wakka, do you think im pretty?"
There was an awkward silence.
"I don't think the blitz ball in your hair really goes with your tutu ya?"
" What blitz ball?" Tidus feels his hair and pulls out the blitz ball he was arguing with earlier and
drops it.
" OH so now your stalking me. That's it" Tidus yells and lunges at the ball, Wakka pulls him back
and throws him in the water. Wakka jumps in afterwards.
Tidus begins to drown, so Wakka has to drag him along. A few insects attack them along the way,
but they luckily escape . Wakka pulls Tidus out of the water.
"Got a favour to ask ya." He tells Tidus.
"You want me in you team right?"
"Hell no!! You couldn't even catch the ball and you can't swim! . I was wondering what shampoo you use ya?"
"I like to be in a position where I can get lots of attention okay! OH and I so can swim!"
"oh yes that's why I had to drag you all the way"
"I was testing you"
"For what"
"For Cancer!"
"Oh what was the results?"
"Your fine, quite healthy indeed"
"Oh that's a relief"
" I'd love to be in your team Wakka! Thanks for the invitation!"
"I didn't say that!" "No you cant be in our team were bad enough as it is!"
"Oh were going to have so much fun!!"
Wakka gives up and decides he'll try to talk Tidus out of it later or just kill him when he's sleeping.
Wakka and Tidus carry on walking to the village.
"Um wakka, have you noticed that were being stalked by a Turkey?"
"Huh?" Wakka turned around to see a Turkey. He picks it up.
"Oh this is my brother Chappu! Chappu meet the guy who has no name"
"Your brothers a Turkey? Oh and for the last time my names Ti-"
"He wasn't always a turkey, you see sin killed him and then he was reincarnated into this Turkey!"
"How do you know that?"
"Oh I was playing blitz ball one day and then this Turkey appears outta no where and starts attacking
the ball. Chappu looks like you."
" How could you Wakka I thought you were my friend!"
"What'd I do!"
"You said I looked like a Turkey!"
" You know we should take you to Luca, that's where the Bliztball
Tournament is held."
"Let me guess some one might know me?"
" No they also have a nice mental institution."
"Im not mental"
Wakka patted Tidus on the shoulder " Of course your not, just keep telling yourself that and don't
worry about that giant cucumber, its not real"
"It is! It took me away from the Al Bhed ship!"
"Aaaah! Damn the Al bhed"
"Why, what did they do?"
"They lied about what shampoo they used to everyone in Spira, and look what happened to the
unfortunate people who believed them"
Tidus gave Wakka a questioning look and Wakka explained by pointing to his hair.
" And now they unleash giant cucumbers on us!" Wakka said
"Gobble" Chappu said
"Yes your absolutely right!"
"Yes.." Tidus said and quickened his pace
" I think someone else is stalking us" Tidus mentioned quietly.
"Really?" Wakka asked, "What ever happens we must protect Chappu, he hasn't go any weapons"
"I don't have a weapon"
"Yes well no one cares about you"
Wakka and Tidus stopped as they heard footsteps. Then they saw 2 men walking towards them.
"Ah the one wearing the tutu" Said the first man.
"Be on guard, theres fiends on the road today!" Said the second man.
They then both held up signs and ran off.
One sign said: IM NOT HERE.
The second said: WE DISAPEARED.
"Wow how'd they do that?" Tidus asked in awe.
"We'll never find out I guess. Unless we become crusaders."
" Clowns?"
"I said Crusaders! You can ask them yourself, when we get to the village."
Suddenly a purple banana dropped out of a tree.
"KILL THE FIEND!!" Yelled Wakka.
Tidus attacked Wakka.
"FIEND! NOT FRIEND!"
Wakka ran to the banana but slipped over.
"Damn it," He muttered. " Its power full"
Tidus tried to punch it but because his aim is so bad he punched a rock next to it.
"OWEEE PAINEEEE!!" Tidus shouted and flapped his arms up and down like a mad man,
He fell over. Wakka crawled over to him.
"BOY! BOY! ARE YOU OKAY"
"I don't think..I can go on"
Wakka collapsed next to him.
"I know.but at least we tried."
A loud Gobble noise was heard from the trees and a turkey came into view swinging on a vine.
This turkey was not a normal turkey. It had a red cape and a matching eye mask. On the back of the
cape there was the words SUPER TURKEY!
Super Turkey lands beside the banana and begins to scratch and peck at it, and then starts to eat it.
An evil laugh was then sounded and Barney appeared. Tidus and Wakka lay helplessly on the ground
as Barney advanced towards them. They tried to get Super Turkeys attention, but he was busy eating
the banana. Barney grabbed them by the backs of their clothes and dragged them off into the trees.
Wakka fainted from thinking about where Chappu was and Tidus fainted from thinking.
When Tidus awoke he found himself tied up with dental floss. He turned his head to see Wakka next
to him drooling and muttering " Mmmmm toilet paper.."
He looked around. Barney was no where to be seen. Then all of a sudden a penguin flew into view and
landed in front of him.
"Hey penguins can't fly."
"Then maybe im not a penguin."
"Then what are you?"
" A penguin"
"But you just said.."
"Silence or I will poop on your head!" The penguin hissed.
Tidus gulped and thought about what he should do. He gave up after 10 seconds and started thinking
about pretty things like flowers and butterflies.
A rustling sound from the trees interrupted Tidus' thoughts.
Out came 3 people .well not people.
"We meet again Tidus, I see you've got a friend. Oh that's good cause I have 2 friends. Meet Baby
Bop and B jay"
Barney handed a purple banana to the penguin.
"Thank you for guarding them"
"Anything for you oh great one" The penguin replied and bowed.
"Now Tidus" Barney said " I told you last time, that I always get what I want and im pretty sure that by now you know what I want."
Tidus thought for a second " My tutu?"
"NO! I want a hug!!"
Baby bop, Barney and B jay then started singing,
"I love you, You love me, were a happy family."
Tidus starts to scream.
This woke Wakka up. When Wakka saw what danger they were in. He began to scream too.
B jay, Baby bop and Barney began closing in on them, when Super Turkey came to the rescue!!
Super Turkey shoved a firework in Barneys mouth and down his throat. Super Turkey then lit it
and Barney exploded into lots of pretty colours. Baby Bop and B jay ran off screaming.
Super Turkey pecked through the dental floss and dragged the unconscious (from screaming) Wakka
and Tidus to the Besaid Village.
He put them in bed and tucked them in. He even put a teddy bed next to Wakka so he wouldn't have
any nightmares.
Super Turkey then jumped into the oven and slammed the door behind him. When the door opened
Super Turkey was no where to be found, and out came Chappu.