A/N: Hmm... yeah, I am still not over that hug in 'The Goodbye Girl.'
Disclaimer: I own nothing
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I reach across my bed and hit the snooze button. With faint memories of my most recent dream, I pull away the covers, get out of my bed and step on the book I'd left at its foot the previous night. Then it hits me; it's one of those days.
It's one of those days where I step out of my room and am attacked by my cocker spaniel, Swifty, who jumps and licks me so hard till I'm lying on the floor, rolling around, wrestling him. It feels great till we break to catch our breaths and I look into his face and recognize that through his eyes I understand everything he feels - his joys, his pains, his desires, his confusion... And then I acknowledge that of all the eyes I've ever encountered, of all the people I've ever met, his eyes are most expressive - second to yours.
It's one of those days that I step outside my door, and am met with the sounds of the birds chirping, the smell of the new spring foliage and the feel of the air ever so clean and crisp lingering on my face. But instead, at that moment, I long to hear the crashing of the waves and to sniff the saltiness of the ocean, not because fresh air is inferior or the sweet sounds of the birds offend me, but because this package comes without you.
It's one of those days that I stop for lunch at a restaurant after a morning at the super flea market. And as the waiter and I fall into casual conversation, I accept that no matter how great the food might be, it'll never compare with the greasy, heartburn-inducing cuisine you served at the Crab Shack. I don't know why, but maybe it's because you always made sure you served me whenever you spotted me walking in or that special way you smiled whenever you handed me the heaping plates, whatever it is, it's rendered it impossible for me to look at a plate of steaming fries and not remember sitting on a stool, talking to you.
It's one of those days, a Tuesday perhaps, where I flick through channels till I land on a scene of Rory and Jess, and root for the good girl to steal the bad boy's heart. I think it's because I see a little of Rory in me and a little Jess in you. Then I remember that with you, it's just a façade and you're not a bad boy at all, because you're more of a man, and certainly not cruel. Then I wonder what I was thinking when I compared you with Jess. Or anyone for that matter. Because no one knows better than I, that you're just you, uniquely so, and unlike anyone I've ever met.
It's one of those days that I turn to CBS and watch David Letterman tell another joke and so I cackle because I've always loved the witty ones. Then I realize how odd it is that I hardly think of that other funny guy, the one I'd thought I'd spend most of my days laughing with. The one that crinkled my eyes and owned all my smiles, till I discovered that our time together was just a 'bit' - a hysterical little anecdote and that the whole time, the joke was entirely on me. But with you, it was never jokes, it was always real and now I know that real is the only way I want to feel.
It's one of those days that I pick up my pen to update my journal and find myself recalling the same memories that fill the other pages and writing about new memories I plan to share with you. Then I remember I'm being silly, for it's an impossible situation, as you are there and I am here. Then I tear out the sheet and throw it into the waste basket that's already filled with previously abandoned memories.
I lay on my bed, staring out of the window at the twinkling stars haphazardly scattered in the darkened sky knowing that today is just like each and every other day. And that no matter what I do, no matter where I go, I spend every moment missing you.
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A/N: Rory and Jess are from The Gilmore Girls on the WB.