A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update but I was superbusy with school and
everything. Plus I had zero idea about this chapter!
~~**~~
The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I can't sleep..I need to tell you...goodnight
When we're together I feel perfect
When I'm pulled away from you I fall apart
All you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can't look away as we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me, marry me, promise you'll stay with me
Oh you don't have to ask me, you know you're all that I live for
You know I'd die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I'll show you that you are my night sky
I've always been right behind you
Now I'll always be right beside you
So many nights, I've cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me, I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you
~~**~~
**RORY'S POV**
I read the song and smiled. If I hadn't been so shocked about everything I probably would have stayed on my bed, rereading the letter time after time just to see those three words written at the bottom. He loved me. We had both said it before, but this time I really felt it. He loved me. A lot.
I knew he wanted to run away. I could feel the honesty behind his words. He was willing to suffer losing me, willing to go through hell, all cause he didn't want to hurt me.
And I loved him back. I loved him like I could never love Dean. It was overwhelming...every second of the day every fiber of my being screamed for Jess. For his touch...his kiss...sometimes just his eyes.
I was so happy to be with him.
So how could I let him go?
~~**~~
**GENERAL POV**
COFFEELVR: Hey Jess...are you there?
BADBOY: Rory?
COFFEELVR: I hope you don't mind...but I rather talk to you like this than in person right now...
Jess sighed. He had been waiting for this since he posted the letter, late last night. He had felt like a burglar, sneaking out of the diner through his window, keeping hidden in the dark places so no one saw him. He knew she was going to break up with him. He just knew.
His heart screamed to try and convince her not to let him go. To tell her he needed her, needed her sanity and her honesty to hold on. He wanted to admit that he was scared of going back to the person he used to be. A drugaddict. Someone who didn't care about other people. He wanted to tell Rory that she made him feel. Alive. Like a good person. She had changed him. She had made him vulnerable and she had made him care about other people.
Rory.
Luke.
Lorelai.
In their own crazy way they all believed he could be saved. They trusted him, believing he would never go back to New York. Believing he would never hurt or betray them.
But he couldn't.
He couldn't tell her all that.
So he just stared at his computerscreen and waited.
~~**~~
COFFEELVR: Jess are you still there?
COFFEELVR: Or are you mad at me now for not seeing you in person?
BADBOY: Mad? At you? Baby no...never...
He had written those words and pressed enter before realizing he had called her baby. She had been typing as well, and his message appeared onscreen just two seconds before hers.
COFFEELVR: Cause I just can't...
His fingers pressed on the keyboard, typing things before he realized what he was asking.
BADBOY: Just...if you're going to break up with me...if that's why you can't face me...just do it now.
She stayed silent for over two minutes, before suddenly signing off. Jess sighed and fell down on his bed.
**guess that was all the answer I needed to know**
He tried to feel good, tried not to break down and cry. He cared so much about her, and losing her cause of something that happened before they had even met felt even more terrible than he would have imagined. This was payback. It was life being a bitch, making him suffer for not caring enough about other people to let them live.
~~**~~
Jess had hidden his head under the pillow, blocking out all sounds. His stereo was blasting the song he had confessed his feelings in so hard that he drowned in the words. There was no other sound than the voice of the singer confessing her love for some man. He wondered if Rory felt the same way about him.
So many nights, I've cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me, I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you
No. Probably not. She had loved Dean. She had had other people surrounding her all her life. Making her feel like the special girl she was. His love probably didn't mean as much to her cause she was used to people making her feel this way. Unlike him. She made him feel so special, with just her smile or a flickering in her eyes.
One out of thousands in the world,
Became one heart in me.
And if you ever leave me,
I hope I'll never wake up.
Sweetheart,
My sweetheart.
Sweetheart.
He listened to the lyrics, knowing that they were just what he meant. Hoping that she would still love him, despite his faults. Despite all the things he had done before he had met her. He wished he could show her that he never would have done things like that if he had met her before. She would have been able to save him from everything.
Oh, oh, oh,
It's a crazy world,
Everything changes but our love forever stays.
Oh, oh, oh,
It's a crazy world.
He just hoped it was.
~~**~~
A/N: Sorry if it was short! And sorry if it sucked! Next update probably will be after 16th of April (I have my last test that day)
~~**~~
The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I can't sleep..I need to tell you...goodnight
When we're together I feel perfect
When I'm pulled away from you I fall apart
All you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can't look away as we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me, marry me, promise you'll stay with me
Oh you don't have to ask me, you know you're all that I live for
You know I'd die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I'll show you that you are my night sky
I've always been right behind you
Now I'll always be right beside you
So many nights, I've cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me, I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you
~~**~~
**RORY'S POV**
I read the song and smiled. If I hadn't been so shocked about everything I probably would have stayed on my bed, rereading the letter time after time just to see those three words written at the bottom. He loved me. We had both said it before, but this time I really felt it. He loved me. A lot.
I knew he wanted to run away. I could feel the honesty behind his words. He was willing to suffer losing me, willing to go through hell, all cause he didn't want to hurt me.
And I loved him back. I loved him like I could never love Dean. It was overwhelming...every second of the day every fiber of my being screamed for Jess. For his touch...his kiss...sometimes just his eyes.
I was so happy to be with him.
So how could I let him go?
~~**~~
**GENERAL POV**
COFFEELVR: Hey Jess...are you there?
BADBOY: Rory?
COFFEELVR: I hope you don't mind...but I rather talk to you like this than in person right now...
Jess sighed. He had been waiting for this since he posted the letter, late last night. He had felt like a burglar, sneaking out of the diner through his window, keeping hidden in the dark places so no one saw him. He knew she was going to break up with him. He just knew.
His heart screamed to try and convince her not to let him go. To tell her he needed her, needed her sanity and her honesty to hold on. He wanted to admit that he was scared of going back to the person he used to be. A drugaddict. Someone who didn't care about other people. He wanted to tell Rory that she made him feel. Alive. Like a good person. She had changed him. She had made him vulnerable and she had made him care about other people.
Rory.
Luke.
Lorelai.
In their own crazy way they all believed he could be saved. They trusted him, believing he would never go back to New York. Believing he would never hurt or betray them.
But he couldn't.
He couldn't tell her all that.
So he just stared at his computerscreen and waited.
~~**~~
COFFEELVR: Jess are you still there?
COFFEELVR: Or are you mad at me now for not seeing you in person?
BADBOY: Mad? At you? Baby no...never...
He had written those words and pressed enter before realizing he had called her baby. She had been typing as well, and his message appeared onscreen just two seconds before hers.
COFFEELVR: Cause I just can't...
His fingers pressed on the keyboard, typing things before he realized what he was asking.
BADBOY: Just...if you're going to break up with me...if that's why you can't face me...just do it now.
She stayed silent for over two minutes, before suddenly signing off. Jess sighed and fell down on his bed.
**guess that was all the answer I needed to know**
He tried to feel good, tried not to break down and cry. He cared so much about her, and losing her cause of something that happened before they had even met felt even more terrible than he would have imagined. This was payback. It was life being a bitch, making him suffer for not caring enough about other people to let them live.
~~**~~
Jess had hidden his head under the pillow, blocking out all sounds. His stereo was blasting the song he had confessed his feelings in so hard that he drowned in the words. There was no other sound than the voice of the singer confessing her love for some man. He wondered if Rory felt the same way about him.
So many nights, I've cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me, I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you
No. Probably not. She had loved Dean. She had had other people surrounding her all her life. Making her feel like the special girl she was. His love probably didn't mean as much to her cause she was used to people making her feel this way. Unlike him. She made him feel so special, with just her smile or a flickering in her eyes.
One out of thousands in the world,
Became one heart in me.
And if you ever leave me,
I hope I'll never wake up.
Sweetheart,
My sweetheart.
Sweetheart.
He listened to the lyrics, knowing that they were just what he meant. Hoping that she would still love him, despite his faults. Despite all the things he had done before he had met her. He wished he could show her that he never would have done things like that if he had met her before. She would have been able to save him from everything.
Oh, oh, oh,
It's a crazy world,
Everything changes but our love forever stays.
Oh, oh, oh,
It's a crazy world.
He just hoped it was.
~~**~~
A/N: Sorry if it was short! And sorry if it sucked! Next update probably will be after 16th of April (I have my last test that day)