Halfway across the globe, the phone rang, snapping Ratigan out of a strange dream, where he had discovered a tribe of strange people who looked upon Rufus as some sort of god (and which he blamed later on a bad nacho), and caused him to fall out of bed. "All right, all right, I'm up", he moaned, dashing to the phone, hoping secretly it wasn't another telemarketer. "Yes?", he asked groggily.
"Ratigan?", Shego inquired on the other end.
Ratigan's mind was alert immediately. Shego rarely called, unless she wanted to throw a random insult. Seeing as how Shego had her ways of keeping an eye out for herself, the problem had to lie with Drakken. Normally, one would expect your basic insane genius to keep an eye out for him/herself, but, with Drakken, one couldn't tell. "Yeah, I'm up, despite the fact that it's one in the morning.", he replied sharply. "Let me guess; Drakken?"
"How'd you know?", Shego asked on the other end.
"Let's just call it a sixth sense.", Ratigan mused. "So, what's the problem with the not-so-good doctor?"
"I don't know. He just disappeared."
"Really?", Ratigan asked, fully interested. "Are you sure he's not trying cloning again?"
"I'm sure of it", Shego said. "I made absolutely sure he sold the machine for spare parts."
"Say, he wouldn't still be depressed over DNAmy, would he?", Ratigan asked, certain that this theory was correct.
"Yeah, he is.", Shego responded, before asking "Why?"
"Because I think I know where Drakken is. Or was. Or whatever."
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The Supervillains Cafe. Not the best place to be if you're a World's Greatest Criminal Mind-turned-Supreme Being superhero. But Ratigan's reputation as a villain outweighed his reputation as a hero, so he got an in. Okay, that and the fact that he dispatched the cafe's henchmen single-handedly. After that, people there tended to treat him with respect. Otherwise, the place was a hive of scum and villainy. On the bright side, the place had great shrimp.
Ratigan approached Frugal Lucre, who was working as the bartender at the time. Ever since his mom had bailed him out of jail after he tried to destroy the Internet, he figured he was going to have to do better if he was going to accomplish any goals. Of course, in retrospect, getting such miniature snapping turtles wasn't such a good idea.
"Francis", he said, stepping towards the corrupted clerk.
"What do you-?', Lucre started to ask in his Bulgarian/Transylvanian accent before stopping. "Professor James Ratigan?", he asked in his normal voice. "What do you want?!"
Veeken sidestepped Ratigan, holding up her Kimmunicator, which displayed a mug shot of Drakken. "Have you seen this guy?", she asked.
"D-Don't look at m-me, I think he a-arrived during a d-different shift", Frugal stuttered in reply; before adding "Don't let him hurt me", glancing at Ratigan.
Just then, a man wearing a purple zoot suit, which stood out starkly in the club, popped up from behind the counter and asked "What can I get you cats?"
"Okay", Ratigan thought. "There is no way I can blame this on a bad burrito."
Veeken, finding her voice, asked "Jilly from Jersey? What're you doing here?"
"Eh, things were getting slow down at the hotel, you dig?", Jilly replied in his same aloof tone. "So, youse two lookin' for that crazy cat?"
"You've seen him?", Ratigan asked. This was the first real lead they'd had so far.
"Yeah, he came in a half-hour before my shift ended. From what I overheard in his conversation with that crazy golfer, Killigan, the cat seemed pretty jive, you dig?"
"Hmm, I see.", Ratigan mused. "Did he mention the name 'Amy' at all?"
"Yeah, now that I remember it, I did hear him jivin' on about some chick named Amy. Must've been some pretty wild girl to dump him like that."
"Ouch", Ratigan thought. He'd heard that what Amy said really hurt Drakken, but he never thought it was this bad. Well, at least it was better than being hurt by that dinosaur. "Did he say anything else?", he voiced out loud.
"No, that was all I heard before I had to leave on break."
Suddenly, the Kimmunicator beeped. Ratigan snatched it up from the table, and asked "What up?"
"Um, does Kim know you're stealing her lines?", Wade asked from the other end.
"Never mind, Wade.", Ratigan replied flatly. "Anyway, what is it?"
"I found a way to find Drakken."
"Good.", Ratigan said, before asking "What is it?"
"I borrowed GJ's DNA tracker, and it found Drakken in his Arctic lair."
"And you failed to mention this before, because...?"
"Hey, I'm not as much a genius as everyone makes me out to be", Wade replied defensively.
"The Arctic lair", Veeken mused thoughtfully. "Isn't that the place where Drakken stored those plans for the Phoebus project?"
"Yes", Ratigan replied. "Along with that Dimensional Portal he created."
"Ah, yes", Veeken said, sighing. "The Dimens-Porter. Good times, good times."
"Hey, don't forget who was the test subject", Ratigan countered.
"Listen", Wade said, "Whatever Drakken's got in mind is gonna happen really soon. I detected a continually-rising energy level from that lair, like the one the Phoebus project produces."
"Drakken's going to make himself smart again?", Ratigan asked incredulously. "I thought the guy learned from his mistakes!"
"Actually, he does", Veeken said matter-of-factly. "Unless he's desperate."
"This isn't the time for arguing, Veek. Let's go." Turning to Frugal Lucre, he added "Sorry about giving you that scare."
"No problem", Lucre said, cowering under the table. "Just-just get going." As soon as they left, he poked his head out from under the counter, and looked at Jilly. "Does my paycheck cover cost of uniforms?", he asked, before adding "Because I think I might need a new one."
Jilly from Jersey just sighed. "I wonder if the tourists are back yet...", he thought.
To Be Continued . . .