Disclaimer: Not mine. I just like making them my puppets in a show.
A/N: This story takes place after Lie My Parents Told Me. We never knew where Spike goes after the beating Wood gave him, did we? Reviews would be helpful!
Summary: Spike goes on a little trip to find out what having a soul means.
A Soul's Journey
Spike walked home alone at night. The night after Robin Wood gave him a beating he'll never forget.
But something was still odd after the ordeal. Somehow, what Wood said was true. At least, to Spike it was. The words slipped into his mind with every step he took. He growled, shifted into vampire face, and tried to block out those words, but he failed.
"Animal like you," Wood had said to him. "Never cared for anyone but yourself. No one else mattered. Just all about the hunt."
Spike shook his head, and his face shifted back to human. It's true, he thought, I never care for anyone but me. Animal, evil, and a soulless thing—those words people said to him hurt, even though he's a vampire. They never understood his pain…the torture of a soul. But they still call him those words. Oh, no, they can't call me a person, he thought, I'm always an animal. And the only thing separating the vampire he is now, and what he used to be is the soul.
"Sure, I can still kill, but it'll be out of my own free will," he spoke aloud. "And I can barely live with the stuff I did in my past."
Spike knew about how Angel would loose his soul if he had one moment's happiness, but Spike didn't know about the price of his soul. And if he will loose it.
"Angel will help me," he said out loud, as he stopped in front of Buffy's house. Even though Spike was reluctant to go to Angel for help, he needed to. "I just need to learn about my soul," he said to no one in particular. "And I just need to—" He hesitated. He didn't want to finish the sentence.
The upstairs light was on in Buffy's house. Spike looked up to the window of Buffy's room and saw her getting ready to go to bed. He broke apart his gaze at Buffy, turned around, and headed off.
And as he walked off into the night, he said the words he was reluctant to say before. "And I just need to get away from Buffy."