Chapter 9
The choice of my life
Back at Tsunami, Kira came down stairs wearing a light blue dress with her hair down to her shoulders, Kenji arranged the dinning table so beautifully with tall candles, silverware settings and champagne glasses. Kira didn't think it was Kenji's attempt to move in on her, only that he had great taste in style for diner settings. "You look beautiful" Kenji said while standing in the doorway that lead from the kitchen to the dinning room holding two plates in his hands, Kira turned to Kenji with a blushing cheeks "I hope you're hungry" he added as he placed the plates on the table. Kenji pulled a seat back for Kira to sit in "thank you" she said as she sat in. "How's the food?" Kenji asked as he took a sip from his glass of wine "umm it's great" Kira complimented politely as she aid her fork on her plate, Kenji noticed Kira's mind was somewhere else because she was facing the window that viewed the beach "Kira are you alright?" Kenji asked while looking at her from across the table. She woke up from her cogitation "yes I'm fine, I was just thinking" she responded "I have a habit of doing that" she added as an explanation to her behavior "oh it's okay, I do that a lot myself especially during a racing tournament" Kenji explained, he rose from his seat like a gentleman "would you like to have dessert in the living room?" he asked politely. Kira felt that he was going to try something and the expression on her face showed Kenji that "don't worry I wouldn't make a move on you unless you let me" he said trying to ease her tension, Kira sighed for relief "alright I guess it's okay" she said as she got up from her chair.
While Kira cleared up the dishes as a way of being curtest Kenji was in the living room building up a fire in the fireplace "oh God she is so beautiful" he thought to himself while watching Kira drying up the dishes through a crack of the door that lead to the kitchen "I finished the dishes!" Kira called out loud to Kenji "Good there is some cheese cake in the frig, if you want to help yourself" he said as he placed another log in the fire. Kira couldn't resist cheese cake so she sliced up a pieces for herself but also sliced one for Kenji then she brought it to the living room, she gently placed the plates of cheese cake on the glass coffee table and sat on the long couch "looks good" she complimented as she scooped a small pieces with her fork. Kenji sat just an inch away from Kira to show he had no bad intension toward her "I'm glad you love it" he said as he lifted up his plate Kenji realized all he could do was look at Kira, he felt he had a splendid opportunity, but he promised himself he wasn't going to say or do anything that would scare her off. She suddenly noticed his glare and his anticipation to tell her something, Kenji turned his face away from her "Kenji are you alright?" she asked while placing her plate on the coffee table and placed her hands on his arm "no" he said then rose form his seat, walked to the fireplace and leaned on the highboard. Kenji remained silent in front of Kira for a while until he finally turned to face her with his hands in his pocket "Kira I need to explain a lot of things to you" he proclaimed.
Kira sat up comfortably to listen to him "you remember the woman in the red dress at the museum?" he asked Kira to recall, it took her a while but she did remember the same woman that Kenji gave what looked like a check. Kira shooked her head in respond to his question "she was one of my lady-callers" he said then he noticed Kira's mouth opened just a little bit "God she could be the girl with the pearl ear ring" he thought to himself as he looked at her face, Kenji shooked himself enough to wake up "I guess Rei and I have three things in common" he said as he placed a hand on the highboard and the other still in his pocket "we are both into racing, we are sort of players,..and we both love you" he added. Kira sat back on the couch with both arms crossed on her belly "I know it's a shock but I swear to you my life changed the moment I saw you walking on the side walk" he said with a lot of sincerity in his voice, Kira felt her heart swoon with every word that Kenji was saying to her.
Kenji continued with his confession "that day before I met you I was dying inside everyday, little by little. When I want to keep my mind off my isolating pains I go to the museums for the summer but all I do is sit in my office and cry like the bugga that I am. After a long year racing the tracks I come back to hear my very social parents talking about my future position as a champion race car driver and the women who love to screw me then leave me in the morning only to call me a day later to ask about how much I owe them for their,..time. Each day is like an endless rainy day where there are no light at all I try to talk with my parents but it's hard to tell them how I feel when I don't even know if I am alive in my parents minds, so I walked out of the office meeting that we were having, got into my car and drove off to find,.." he stopped himself completely. Kira sat while still looking at him with eyes filled with tears of pity "finding what?" she asked to encourage him to continue "find a truck that I can hit or a dock that I can drive myself to the bottom of the bay but something caught my eye" he said. "It was almost like someone held a light over you to signal to me LOOK OVER THERE! and that very split second that I past by you was what brought me to a halt from my determination and brought back some sense of hope that I thought was gone" Kenji explained without noticing that his own tears began to grow "And that's what you are Kira" he said as he knelt on the floor close to her face with his hands on hers "a light of hope,..My light of hope" he concluded. Kira was so consumed by the impact of emotions that Kenji proclaim to her that she inhaled her breath hard and as she exhaled her tears fell out of her eyes, her heart was now torn between how she became the influence in Rei and now with Kenji "I know it's stupid of me to say all this to you now but it can't be stopped Kira, I die every time I see Rei's arms around you, the kisses that he leaves you, and all the love making-" he was stopped by Kira's hand that was covering his lips.
Kenji closed his eyes as he opened his mouth to taste her finger tip, the sensation of her fingers drove him insane "oh Kira" he exhaled as he kissed the soft palm of her hand. Kira was trembling with the temptation of wanting him so much, Kenji finally stopped at her hand and moved to her lips "oh God, what am I doing?" she thought to herself as she felt Kenji kissing her lips with a force of passion until he parted her lips and moved down her neck. Kira was so weakened by his kisses that she fell on to the couch, Kenji was over joyed as he claimed on top of Kira and he felt that she was ready for him but what he didn't realizes was that while he was working on finding the zipper to her dress Kira saw Rei's smiling face in her mind. She tried not to think about him but all her memories of everything that they went through made Kira freeze underneath Kenji, she finally had enough of it "no, no Kenji please I can't" she said as she tried to push him off her. Kenji felt cold as she felt her pushing him away "please Kenji get off me" she pleaded in a breaking voice until Kenji was sitting on the far end of the couch so Kira could sit up properly on her sit, he was waiting for her to explain what was wrong until he hopefully figured that she might be worried about getting pregnant "Kira if you worried about that I have protections" he said in a sincere voice. But Kira shocked her head with a sad expression on her face "no Kenji it's not that" she explained, Kenji was hurt "then you're not ready yet?" he asked hoping that was the true reason but again she shocked her head "no it's nothing that either,..I can't do it,..ever" she added to her explanation.
Kenji felt his heart torn up at the sound of her rejection "it's Rei isn't it?" he asked while staring at the fire that was now beginning to douse down a bit, Kira didn't have to answer the question because he could see it on her face "Kira, can you absolutely tell me that you don't love me?" he asked in a whimpering, insulted voice. Kira rose from her sit with her arms crossed over her chest "Kenji you probably wouldn't understand" she answered as she waltz to the highboard "why shouldn't I understand? he asked in a little frustrated voice as he rose to stand next to her in front of the fire place. Kira didn't look at him in the face but she could sense his anger from behind her "I'm sorry Kenji" she said in a sad voice, Kenji scoff "Rei obviously has you hold up in a cage"Kenji said in a serious voice.
Kira felt herself grow angry at that remark he said "Kenji I was never caged by Rei, I was caged by my step father who raped me when I was 13 years old!" she said after turning around to face him with an angry expression on her face. Kenji's mouth fell opened and his eyes were wide with shock "oh God, I'm sorry" he said in a stuttering voice "I didn't know about that" he added, Kira sat back down on the couch with her arms still crossed over her chest and very calmly she began to tell Kenji the same story that only her circle of friends.
They moved to the front the 10 ft tall window that viewed the beach in the backyard, Kenji could not believe what horrible things Kira had been through before she met Rei and that he was a huge influence on her "you think Rei doesn't treat me right, but your wrong" Kira said while staring at the waves that turn over, they reminded her when she and Rei made love for the first time in his apartment. "Before Rei I had a shield that covered my entire body because my step father made me fear every man that touches me" Kira added as she remembered when Rei once tried to get with her but she screamed like a banshee "but Rei broke that shield with his patients, his courage, and his love for my art work,..and for me" Kira added. Kenji was silent all through out Kira's story, he finally realized that he had all the money in the world to give Kira all that she could ever desire but Rei helped her get what she had always wanted,...her freedom "I guess he is the luckiest guy" he said aloud, suddenly they both heard a motorcycle vrooming from the outside. Kira knew that motorcycle sound anywhere or from anyone "Rei" she thought to herself as she rushed to the front door of the house, she opened the door and ran on her bare feet.
Rei parked his motorcycle in the driveway near Kenji's car "Rei!" Kira shouted in a cheerful voice as she ran to his opened arms "Kira I am so sorry baby" he said he rushed to gather her into his arms, Kira nuzzled on Rei chest to wipe the tears out of her eyes "I'm sorry too" she said as she felt his arms around her tighten up. The couple held each other for a long while untill they parted so Rei could tell her in the face "I know you had a lot of guts to come and live with me and put up with me, and I never got to tell you thank you for loving me that much" Kira's heart was filled with more love then it had before "you know that is about the best thing you have ever said to me all day" she said in a crying voice "what kept you so long?" she added in the same tone of voice. Rei smiled down at her "you know me I like to joke around before I officially tell the truth" he explained in his sly joking voice, Kira laughed softly as more tears fell out of her eyes "can we go home?" Kira asked as she wiped her tears away with her voice. Rei was surprised to hear her ask that kind of question but he didn't waste time answering her "sure if you really want to?" he asked to make sure Kira was serious, she turned her head and face Kenji who was leaning on the door from of the front door with an expression of enviousness "yes I do,..we'll come back with Tatsuya's car to pick up the rest of my things" Kira explained as she turned to face Rei again.
Kira told Rei she was going in just to get her little backpack and her shoes, as she walked closer to Kenji her heart was now heaved with guilt about leaving him by himself but she knew what her decision was "Kenji I am sorry but I don't think I should be working with you anymore" she said in a sad voice, Kenji exhaled hard with anger in his heart. Even though he didn't want to let her go Kenji offered the couple the use of his car for Kira's things and her dog but Kira kindly refused "I have imposed on you long enough, it's time that I stop using you even if you don't mind" she said in a serious tone " fine then you can leave Bruce and the rest of your things here until tomorrow" he offered in a pissed off tone of voice. Kira passed by him and ran up to her bedroom, Bruce's tail was waging fast at the sight of Kira but he was also happy because he knew Rei was down stairs. He stood by watching her grab her bag and slipping her feet into her heel-less saddles but when Kira rushed to the door he was followed her "no, no Bruce we can't take you home tonight,..but we'll be back for you in the morning I promise" she explained as she cuddled his face then ran back down stairs to see Kenji sitting in front of the fireplace with that same expression on his face and a small glass of brandy.
"Kenji are you sure you'll be okay alone?" she asked as she was about to reach for the door "don't worry I won't be here tomorrow when you pick up your things,..I promise you" he said without looking at her, Kira couldn't say anything else to him meanly because she was out of words to say all she could say was "well uh good bye" then closed the door leaving Kenji alone in the house "good bye my light of hope" he said aloud then took a sip of his brandy.