"No, don't stop! You can't stop! Help him. Please, God, just save him! No. NO!!! DON'T STOP!"
"Neela. Neela!"
With a startled gasp, Neela Rasgotra sat bolt upright, clutching her hands to her chest. Where was she? Whose hand was on her shoulder? Slowly she came to the realization that she was in the on-call room of the Cook County General Hospital ER. "Oh, Dr. Carter," she said with a nervous giggle, "you gave me a bit of a scare!"
"Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. Are you OK?" John Carter asker, noticing that Neela was a bit shaky.
"Yeah...I...I suppose I was just having a bit of a bad dream," she lied, drying her eyes with the back of her hand. "What's up?"
"MVA, multiple victims coming in. Should be here any minute." He paused. "Are you sure you're OK?"
Neela nodded and glanced at the clock. 12:04 AM. "It's just...well...today's the one-year anniversary of..."
"Dr. Carter! Dr. Rasgotra!" Chuny interrupted. "We need you NOW." With that, Carter took off running, Neela hot on his heels. They arrived in the ambulance bay just in time to meet the first of a long line of patients that would keep the ER swamped for hours to come.
The driver of a bus full of tourists returning from a sight-seeing trip to St. Louis had fallen asleep at the wheel, awakening just in time to see that the bus was veering into the next lane, right toward an SUV. He swerved, but it was too late. After plowing into the vehicle, the bus swung out of control, hit three more cars, and tipped over. In all, nearly sixty people had been injured, and over half were sent to County. Fortunately, there were few fatalities. Most were treated for minor cuts and bruises. A few were admitted with broken bones, concusions, and the like, and one was rushed to the OR with a ruptured spleen. In general, the accident victims had been lucky - all but one family.
The SUV had been carrying a family of five - a young mother and father, and their three little girls, ages six, three, and two months. The two youngest children were DOA, and the six-year-old was pronounced dead after half an hour in the ER. The father, just twenty-eight, had arrived in serious, but stable, condition. After almost five hours in the ER he went into cardiac arrest. Neela began chest compressions, refusing to stop even when she got to the point where her whole body ached.
Susan Lewis entered the room. "Neela..." she began.
"Give him another dose of epi," Neela ordered, "and get someone from surgery in here STAT!"
"We've already called up there four times. They're all in the OR right now," Chuny replied, administering the medication.
"I don't care if you have to go to the OR and drag someone down here by their toes. I need someone here NOW!"
Chuny started to leave but Susan held up her hand. "No, he's been down too long."
"Give the epi a chance to work," Neela pleaded desperately, but Susan shook her head. Neela gave a few more compressions before she slowly came to a stop. By now she was out of breath and drenched in sweat. "Damn it. Damn it.........Time of death, 5:49," she gasped ripping off her gloves and storming out of the room. After taking a moment to compose herself she went to find the man's wife, who had somehow survived the accident with only a lacerated forehead and fractured arm and collarbone - and a broken heart. "Mrs. Sullivan, I'm Dr. Rasgotra. I've been working on your husband," she said softly. "I'm very sorry, but his heart stopped beating and although we did everything we could, the extent of his injuries was too great. We were unable to save him."
The woman stared at Neela, shaking like a leaf. "No, no, that's not true. He can't be dead. I need him. I NEED him. You have to save him!"
Neela rested her hand on the woman's arm. "I'm sorry, there's nothing else we can do. He's gone. I know how you feel..."
The woman pulled away from Neela. "What?" she snapped. "No you don't. You don't know how I feel. You CAN'T know how I feel. You can't."
Neela longed to explain that she, in fact, knew all too well how the woman felt, but this was not the time to feel sorry for herself. This was the young woman's time to grieve. "I...I'm sorry," she stammered, backing up, as the woman's parents and sister tried to console her. "I'm so sorry."
As soon as she was out of the room, Neela ran at full speed until she was outside. Sinking down on a bench, she buried her head in her hands and began to cry. She didn't notice when Carter approached her a few minutes later. "There you are," he said, sitting down next to her. "Susan said she was worried about you." Neela didn't even look up. "I'm sorry about your patient. You did good in there. Did your best. But you can't save everyone."
"Can't save everyone? Apparently I can't save anyone!" Neela shouted, standing up. "A young man and his three babies came in here this morning, and I couldn't save any of them. But I did bloody good." With a cynical laugh, she slammed her fist into the concrete wall. "They died. THEY ALL DIED. AND I COULDN'T DO A DAMN THING TO HELP THEM!!!" With each word, she pounded the wall harder and harder until Carter, noticing the blood, grabbed her arm.
"Neela. Neela!"
With a startled gasp, Neela Rasgotra sat bolt upright, clutching her hands to her chest. Where was she? Whose hand was on her shoulder? Slowly she came to the realization that she was in the on-call room of the Cook County General Hospital ER. "Oh, Dr. Carter," she said with a nervous giggle, "you gave me a bit of a scare!"
"Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. Are you OK?" John Carter asker, noticing that Neela was a bit shaky.
"Yeah...I...I suppose I was just having a bit of a bad dream," she lied, drying her eyes with the back of her hand. "What's up?"
"MVA, multiple victims coming in. Should be here any minute." He paused. "Are you sure you're OK?"
Neela nodded and glanced at the clock. 12:04 AM. "It's just...well...today's the one-year anniversary of..."
"Dr. Carter! Dr. Rasgotra!" Chuny interrupted. "We need you NOW." With that, Carter took off running, Neela hot on his heels. They arrived in the ambulance bay just in time to meet the first of a long line of patients that would keep the ER swamped for hours to come.
The driver of a bus full of tourists returning from a sight-seeing trip to St. Louis had fallen asleep at the wheel, awakening just in time to see that the bus was veering into the next lane, right toward an SUV. He swerved, but it was too late. After plowing into the vehicle, the bus swung out of control, hit three more cars, and tipped over. In all, nearly sixty people had been injured, and over half were sent to County. Fortunately, there were few fatalities. Most were treated for minor cuts and bruises. A few were admitted with broken bones, concusions, and the like, and one was rushed to the OR with a ruptured spleen. In general, the accident victims had been lucky - all but one family.
The SUV had been carrying a family of five - a young mother and father, and their three little girls, ages six, three, and two months. The two youngest children were DOA, and the six-year-old was pronounced dead after half an hour in the ER. The father, just twenty-eight, had arrived in serious, but stable, condition. After almost five hours in the ER he went into cardiac arrest. Neela began chest compressions, refusing to stop even when she got to the point where her whole body ached.
Susan Lewis entered the room. "Neela..." she began.
"Give him another dose of epi," Neela ordered, "and get someone from surgery in here STAT!"
"We've already called up there four times. They're all in the OR right now," Chuny replied, administering the medication.
"I don't care if you have to go to the OR and drag someone down here by their toes. I need someone here NOW!"
Chuny started to leave but Susan held up her hand. "No, he's been down too long."
"Give the epi a chance to work," Neela pleaded desperately, but Susan shook her head. Neela gave a few more compressions before she slowly came to a stop. By now she was out of breath and drenched in sweat. "Damn it. Damn it.........Time of death, 5:49," she gasped ripping off her gloves and storming out of the room. After taking a moment to compose herself she went to find the man's wife, who had somehow survived the accident with only a lacerated forehead and fractured arm and collarbone - and a broken heart. "Mrs. Sullivan, I'm Dr. Rasgotra. I've been working on your husband," she said softly. "I'm very sorry, but his heart stopped beating and although we did everything we could, the extent of his injuries was too great. We were unable to save him."
The woman stared at Neela, shaking like a leaf. "No, no, that's not true. He can't be dead. I need him. I NEED him. You have to save him!"
Neela rested her hand on the woman's arm. "I'm sorry, there's nothing else we can do. He's gone. I know how you feel..."
The woman pulled away from Neela. "What?" she snapped. "No you don't. You don't know how I feel. You CAN'T know how I feel. You can't."
Neela longed to explain that she, in fact, knew all too well how the woman felt, but this was not the time to feel sorry for herself. This was the young woman's time to grieve. "I...I'm sorry," she stammered, backing up, as the woman's parents and sister tried to console her. "I'm so sorry."
As soon as she was out of the room, Neela ran at full speed until she was outside. Sinking down on a bench, she buried her head in her hands and began to cry. She didn't notice when Carter approached her a few minutes later. "There you are," he said, sitting down next to her. "Susan said she was worried about you." Neela didn't even look up. "I'm sorry about your patient. You did good in there. Did your best. But you can't save everyone."
"Can't save everyone? Apparently I can't save anyone!" Neela shouted, standing up. "A young man and his three babies came in here this morning, and I couldn't save any of them. But I did bloody good." With a cynical laugh, she slammed her fist into the concrete wall. "They died. THEY ALL DIED. AND I COULDN'T DO A DAMN THING TO HELP THEM!!!" With each word, she pounded the wall harder and harder until Carter, noticing the blood, grabbed her arm.