Mean reviewers *grr*... I like the helpful meanness, but not the sarcastic
unconstructive ones... they make me sad : ( oh well, to all my steady
reviewers: you guys rock! Nyah, you guys make me happy and want to write
because I can lol... so on to 17 and get ready for some *angst* Sev's story
finally comes out... I almost cried at my own writing, maybe I'm just in that
kind of mood though, you tell me...
I wake up, blinking in the bright sunlight pouring from a window. I am surprised for a second to find Severus sleeping next to me. He lies on his stomach, slightly sprawled out. I pull up my legs and sit for a few moments just watching him fondly. Then I remember the time-turner that we haven't used yet.
Ooh...there are probably some serious problems going on at Hogwarts. And Dumbledore... I'm sure he knows where all the professors live, so he might come here! And find us! Bloody hell, we've got to go back now!
I spring off of the mattress and grab my time turner that was tangled inside my robe on the floor. I jump back onto the bed, waking up Sev.
"What're you doing?"
"Time-turner. Come here." I pull the chain over my neck and loop it over his.
He still looks confused at everything happening so quickly.
"How far back should we go?" My mind is racing with how many numbers of hours we should go back in order for everything to be okay.
"Go back five days."
"Five days? I don't know if I can keep track of how many hours I turn back for that!"
"Haven't you ever done whole days over? Just hold it longer each turn."
I slowly flip it five times backwards. I feel like I've tipped over and my neck pulls forward. As soon as it started, he and I are lying on a made bed, but the same kind of light is coming in.
"Do you think it worked?"
"Obviously."
"Why so obvious?"
He looks around the room..."We didn't bring our other clothes back"
It takes me a second to figure out what he has said, and then it hits me.
"We have no clothes?"
"Nothing besides what we are wearing." He explains
"Ooh... what are we going to do?"
He shrugs and slides his hand through his hair.
"Well, I'm sure your brothers room has clothes that would fit you?" I ask carefully
"No."
"Why wouldn't it?"
"I'm not going in there."
"Will you please tell me why?"
He sighs
"I'll have to tell you everything now then?"
"Okay."
He lies back down on his side looking at me. I watch him; I'm extremely interested in what he is going to say.
"It's a long story." He solemnly warns
"We have a long time."
"All right... My brother was born, I was born, then my sister. My brother was named Dominic and my sister was October, but she went by Toby. Toby went to Hogwarts, as a Hufflepuff for a year. Just long enough to master one spell. The Unfindable spell. She placed it on herself, left Hogwarts, and became a muggle. She didn't like magic, and wasn't happy that she was part of a pure wizard family. She accepted magic, she wasn't against it, Toby just didn't want the powers for herself,"
He sits back up and faces me to talk. He's just close enough to touch if I were to put out my arm.
"My brother and parents, along with myself at the time, did not approve. They didn't try to even find her. I looked. But her spell was extremely good, and I couldn't find her. Years passed while I was at Hogwarts, and I'm sure Potter has told you and Weasley all about what he saw during Occulemency lessons." He looks at me, acting defensive
"Well, no. What are you talking about?"
"He didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Astonishing. Potter actually had enough sense to keep his big mouth shut. Simply amazing."
I punch him on the shoulder, "Harry is my best friend."
"Right... well, let me just say my childhood was not pleasant. Set me up to be moody and introverted...Potter and his gang thought it to be a pastime to try and curse me. Too bad for them that I was better at spell work than they were or ever will be..."
"Severus, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you not to talk about the Potters, Professor Lupin, or Sirius like that."
"Oh right. You're fond of them" he finishes, "What about Pettigrew?" He says trying not to smile
"Shut it, you. Just go on with your story, please?"
"All right... My brother went to Durmstang. He wasn't nice enough to even be in Slytherin. He too extremely fascinated in the Dark Arts, while I stayed somewhat away from that, for the time being... I studied everything intensely, yet I've always been rather gifted with Potions and Defense tactics. Soon I was out of Hogwarts and the Dark Lord was beginning to gain some power. Not enough to be a serious threat, just enough so the Ministry was keeping him in check. Years passed, and my brother came to me. He knew I was only a professor, but I was exceptional with magic so he came to try and get me to join the Dark Lord. I was impressionable still, and I thought it better to be on the powerful side, rather than be opposing it. So I joined."
Severus crosses his arms and grabs at his forearm where the mark is.
"What you saw when you flipped the Occulemency was a few hours after I had united with him. As soon as the mark was branded to me, I began to think maybe I shouldn't have... have joined, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I withstood torture to prove my allegiance to him, and then I started 'missions'."
I can feel my eyes starting to sting...I want to cry. I have to be strong though. Severus is finally telling me, and I can't break down into tears, as he isn't...
"Hermione," He pleads, "Are you sure you want me to continue?"
"Yes, yes!" I assure him, however my voice hurts and my throat feels swollen from retaining my tears
"I tortured muggles and anti-darkness wizards. I killed... I laughed, and I did nothing to prevent anything. Not even when people like Lucius would rape women, while their husbands were restrained and tortured."
He tilts his head to wipe a tear away; trying to pretend it's an itch. I feel a pang go off in my heart...
"I began to go into a depression, but I continued to hide my emotions from the Dark Lord with my Occulemency. Thank Merlin for that, otherwise, I wouldn't have lasted a minute. One night I went on a muggle raid with my brother and a few other Death Eaters... they found my sister."
I want to hold him, but I'm too caught up in his words... I can't move.
"My own brother used the Cruciatus curse on our sister. Then he killed her. They wanted me to kill her, but I told them that they found her and it was their reward. I used Occulemency to say good bye to Toby, and show her any happy memories I could think of before she died."
My face is streamed with tear tracks
"I started being contacted by Albus and we began talking. He knew I was with you know, he calls him Tom Riddle still... and it continues to amaze me. But I became a spy for Dumbledore and the 'good side'...I still was attending meetings and missions as if I was still a-a Death Eater of course... but they became harder and harder to survive. Luckily, your Potter destroyed him for the time being..."
"I continued being the Potions Master and Head of Slytherin...Potter came, and every year came into contact with the Dark Lord, defeating him each time... your fourth year came and you know what happened, and you know then I didn't go back but went to the Order, and remain there now..."
I'm aware there are tears sliding down my face, but I do nothing to stop them.
"I'm sorry, Severus." I throw myself to him in an embrace, binding his arms to his sides. I know I'm being stupid, but I can't help it
"It's not--"
"Shh..." I press one of my hands to his mouth, freeing up one of his arms so he hugs me in return.
My hand on his face is damp from a tear that slipped down his face. That makes me cry harder.
I wake up, blinking in the bright sunlight pouring from a window. I am surprised for a second to find Severus sleeping next to me. He lies on his stomach, slightly sprawled out. I pull up my legs and sit for a few moments just watching him fondly. Then I remember the time-turner that we haven't used yet.
Ooh...there are probably some serious problems going on at Hogwarts. And Dumbledore... I'm sure he knows where all the professors live, so he might come here! And find us! Bloody hell, we've got to go back now!
I spring off of the mattress and grab my time turner that was tangled inside my robe on the floor. I jump back onto the bed, waking up Sev.
"What're you doing?"
"Time-turner. Come here." I pull the chain over my neck and loop it over his.
He still looks confused at everything happening so quickly.
"How far back should we go?" My mind is racing with how many numbers of hours we should go back in order for everything to be okay.
"Go back five days."
"Five days? I don't know if I can keep track of how many hours I turn back for that!"
"Haven't you ever done whole days over? Just hold it longer each turn."
I slowly flip it five times backwards. I feel like I've tipped over and my neck pulls forward. As soon as it started, he and I are lying on a made bed, but the same kind of light is coming in.
"Do you think it worked?"
"Obviously."
"Why so obvious?"
He looks around the room..."We didn't bring our other clothes back"
It takes me a second to figure out what he has said, and then it hits me.
"We have no clothes?"
"Nothing besides what we are wearing." He explains
"Ooh... what are we going to do?"
He shrugs and slides his hand through his hair.
"Well, I'm sure your brothers room has clothes that would fit you?" I ask carefully
"No."
"Why wouldn't it?"
"I'm not going in there."
"Will you please tell me why?"
He sighs
"I'll have to tell you everything now then?"
"Okay."
He lies back down on his side looking at me. I watch him; I'm extremely interested in what he is going to say.
"It's a long story." He solemnly warns
"We have a long time."
"All right... My brother was born, I was born, then my sister. My brother was named Dominic and my sister was October, but she went by Toby. Toby went to Hogwarts, as a Hufflepuff for a year. Just long enough to master one spell. The Unfindable spell. She placed it on herself, left Hogwarts, and became a muggle. She didn't like magic, and wasn't happy that she was part of a pure wizard family. She accepted magic, she wasn't against it, Toby just didn't want the powers for herself,"
He sits back up and faces me to talk. He's just close enough to touch if I were to put out my arm.
"My brother and parents, along with myself at the time, did not approve. They didn't try to even find her. I looked. But her spell was extremely good, and I couldn't find her. Years passed while I was at Hogwarts, and I'm sure Potter has told you and Weasley all about what he saw during Occulemency lessons." He looks at me, acting defensive
"Well, no. What are you talking about?"
"He didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Astonishing. Potter actually had enough sense to keep his big mouth shut. Simply amazing."
I punch him on the shoulder, "Harry is my best friend."
"Right... well, let me just say my childhood was not pleasant. Set me up to be moody and introverted...Potter and his gang thought it to be a pastime to try and curse me. Too bad for them that I was better at spell work than they were or ever will be..."
"Severus, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you not to talk about the Potters, Professor Lupin, or Sirius like that."
"Oh right. You're fond of them" he finishes, "What about Pettigrew?" He says trying not to smile
"Shut it, you. Just go on with your story, please?"
"All right... My brother went to Durmstang. He wasn't nice enough to even be in Slytherin. He too extremely fascinated in the Dark Arts, while I stayed somewhat away from that, for the time being... I studied everything intensely, yet I've always been rather gifted with Potions and Defense tactics. Soon I was out of Hogwarts and the Dark Lord was beginning to gain some power. Not enough to be a serious threat, just enough so the Ministry was keeping him in check. Years passed, and my brother came to me. He knew I was only a professor, but I was exceptional with magic so he came to try and get me to join the Dark Lord. I was impressionable still, and I thought it better to be on the powerful side, rather than be opposing it. So I joined."
Severus crosses his arms and grabs at his forearm where the mark is.
"What you saw when you flipped the Occulemency was a few hours after I had united with him. As soon as the mark was branded to me, I began to think maybe I shouldn't have... have joined, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I withstood torture to prove my allegiance to him, and then I started 'missions'."
I can feel my eyes starting to sting...I want to cry. I have to be strong though. Severus is finally telling me, and I can't break down into tears, as he isn't...
"Hermione," He pleads, "Are you sure you want me to continue?"
"Yes, yes!" I assure him, however my voice hurts and my throat feels swollen from retaining my tears
"I tortured muggles and anti-darkness wizards. I killed... I laughed, and I did nothing to prevent anything. Not even when people like Lucius would rape women, while their husbands were restrained and tortured."
He tilts his head to wipe a tear away; trying to pretend it's an itch. I feel a pang go off in my heart...
"I began to go into a depression, but I continued to hide my emotions from the Dark Lord with my Occulemency. Thank Merlin for that, otherwise, I wouldn't have lasted a minute. One night I went on a muggle raid with my brother and a few other Death Eaters... they found my sister."
I want to hold him, but I'm too caught up in his words... I can't move.
"My own brother used the Cruciatus curse on our sister. Then he killed her. They wanted me to kill her, but I told them that they found her and it was their reward. I used Occulemency to say good bye to Toby, and show her any happy memories I could think of before she died."
My face is streamed with tear tracks
"I started being contacted by Albus and we began talking. He knew I was with you know, he calls him Tom Riddle still... and it continues to amaze me. But I became a spy for Dumbledore and the 'good side'...I still was attending meetings and missions as if I was still a-a Death Eater of course... but they became harder and harder to survive. Luckily, your Potter destroyed him for the time being..."
"I continued being the Potions Master and Head of Slytherin...Potter came, and every year came into contact with the Dark Lord, defeating him each time... your fourth year came and you know what happened, and you know then I didn't go back but went to the Order, and remain there now..."
I'm aware there are tears sliding down my face, but I do nothing to stop them.
"I'm sorry, Severus." I throw myself to him in an embrace, binding his arms to his sides. I know I'm being stupid, but I can't help it
"It's not--"
"Shh..." I press one of my hands to his mouth, freeing up one of his arms so he hugs me in return.
My hand on his face is damp from a tear that slipped down his face. That makes me cry harder.