A/N: It's baaaaaack and so am I!! ::bounces:: I haven't updated this in AGES, I hope y'all haven't given up on me :D:D ::pokes evil QuickEdit:: It doesn't let my asterisks show up, so I have to use double colons. ::pout:: It randomly unbolded a bunch of stuff, too...which is really messed up...o.O So, apologies for how weird this looks. ::shoots ff.net::
Whizzo: Thanks! :D
Eilonwy: ::giggles:: Thankee muchly.
NeverwhereKitty: Yay, thanks so much for an enthusiastic review! Good to meet another de Carabas fangirl. XD
Midnightinthegarden: Nothing's wrong with her...she's just really NOT what I pictured her as. I didn't think she was pretty at all...she had STUBBLE for hair, for cryin' out loud. x.X And it SHOULD be a movie, it would be excellent ::grin:: Thankee!
Chess: ::highfives:: Hooray for de Carabas!
Elanor: Just my brilliant intuition, I suppose. XDXD LOL,thankee.
Lovely Moon: ::dies:: It's every fangirl's dream to see Johnny as the Marquis...::swoon:: Thanks, anyway, heehee.
DaisyEater: Heehee. Thanks muchly! :D
So here goes...ze next part!! After, like, 6 months! ::dies::
Neverwho, Neverwhat, Neverwhen, Neverwhy
A Neverwhere Parody by Andi
Richard: So this is the Floating Market, eh? Damn, this place creeps me out. So, what do you do here?
Leather Woman: I rent my body.
Richard: Oh my God, she's a whore!!!
Leather Woman: What was that?
Richard: Er, nothing.
Leather Woman: Goodbye.
Old Bailey: Hey, it's you!!
Richard: Just my luck.
Old Bailey: Give me your hankie for information!
Richard: Um...OK. ::thinking:: Sucker!
Old Bailey: ::gives information, thinking:: Sucker!
Meanwhile...
Narrator: ::measures bodyguard sizes in fops::
Varney and Ruislip: ::shift to the left, shift to the right, stand up, sit down, fight fight fight::
Marquis: ::insert cool lobster line and rougish grin here:: ::fangirls swoon::
Door: ::oddlooks swooning fangirls at bodyguard auditions::
::FORESHADOWING OF LAMIA::
Varney: Haha! You suck!
Ruislip: Oh dear. Goin' down.
Richard: Door, I finally found y –
Door: Richard, look out!!
Ruislip: ::goes flying::
::THUD::
Everyone: ::wince:: Oooooh.
Door: Richard, you idiot.
Richard: Good to see you, too.
Marquis: ::delivers kick-ass "deep shit" speech amidst swooning fangirls::
Richard: ::pout:: I want swooning fangirls.
Authoress: ::poke::
Richard: Er, I mean, I'm delighted to be in such a wonderful place with so many wonderful smells...::he sniffs the air, and begins to choke:: Er, and so many interesting people?
Authoress: ::snort ::No, you're not. But that works for now.
Richard: ::groan:: Not you too.
Door: How did you get here?
Richard: ::tells::
Door: ::corrects him a lot::
Marquis: ::interviews Varney::
Varney: ::is Varney-ish. grrr::
Hunter: I'm Hunter.
Marquis: You're hired.
Varney: Heeeey!! What about me?!
Hunter: ::beats the crap out of Varney::
Varney: ::Bleep:: you!
Authoress: Naughty Varney. This is a PG-13 fic! ::thwap::
Richard: Huh, whaddaya know. She's not a hooker after all.
Later...
Richard: What about me?
Marquis: ::raises an eyebrow:: ::thuds follow:: What about you?
Door: That means "piss off, loser" in de Carabas speech.
Authoress: ::poke:: You're supposed to be nice.
Door: I mean...::high falsetto:: Richard, I'm sorry, but we can't take you with us.
Authoress: You can't take it with you!!
Neverwhere Chars: ::stare::
Authoress: ::cough:: Er, sorry. Theatre dork moment. Continue, please.
Everyone Else: ::leaves Richard::
Richard: ::sniff:: I'm all alone...there's no one here besiiiiide me...
Authoress: ::wince:: Well, if you keep singing like that, it's no wonder you're alone...
Meanwhile...
Varney: Oh, crap.
Croup: Surprise.
Varney: ::dies::
Blood: ::gushes::
Authoress: That was kinda weird.
Vandemar: Yeah.
Authoress: ::...pout:: You're not supposed to agree.
Meanwhile...
Door: Alright, come on, you're with us now.
Authoress: Just so I'm not accused of plagarism, that line belongs to Jehan's Muse and her masterpiece, One Miz Two Miz Red Miz Blue Miz.
Richard: Great! Where are we going?
Door: To find an angel named Islington.
Richard: ::begins to laugh::
Door: ...no, seriously.
Richard: ::continues laughing::
Door: Richard!!
Richard: Heeeheeeheehehee...
Marquis: ::thwacks Richard over the head with a conveniently placed stick and knocks him out::
Door: Did you really have to do that?
Marquis: No. But it was refreshing. ::grins:: ::THUDS echo:: Shall we?
Door, the Marquis, and the just-kinda-there Hunter: ::continue, dragging an unconscious Richard::
::FORESHADOWING OF ISLINGTON::
Islington: I'm androgynous! Go me!
End (of this part, anyway)
A/N: OK, I think I'm losing my touch. x.X It was kinda rushed, sorry...may I take this time to add that I HATE the miniseries' portrayal of Islington? And what was UP with his singing?! ::shudder:: Anyway...reviews are appreciated...though I know I don't deserve them for being absent so long...::embarrassed grin::