Chapter 6

Kara tucked the last of her cigars into her new locker and shut the door with a thud. She hated moving. She always had. While she couldn't remember when the hating had started, she was sure it had been early. It wasn't a convenient aversion when one was in the military.

But she'd been lucky. In eight years of service, this was really only her fourth relocation. She'd moved from the Adama home into basic quarters when she'd gone to college, and she'd lived with Lee there. From basic quarters she'd moved into another room with Lee at the Academy, as they'd gotten along well as roommates. When she had been made an instructor, she'd made the move from student housing to instructor's housing, and six months later Lee had joined here there as well. When Zak had entered the academy, Lee had found another roommate just so that Kara wouldn't have to make another move. He'd known how much she hated doing it. Two years ago she'd moved into her cubby on the Galactica when the Commander had brought her here. So this was only her fifth move, and just a few doorways down from where she'd been, but she still hated moving.

On the other hand, she would have hated staying even more. As senior ranking among the Galactica's Lieutenants with the most time in grade — courtesy of being ineligible for promotion on three different occasions for various infractions — she'd had her pick of the bunks. Kara had taken the one in an identical location to where she'd been in Red Squadron's quarters, only now she was in Blue. She supposed they should call it Purple with all the Reds and Blues mixed together. It was a lousy joke, but a lot less awful then sleeping a few feet down from where two friends had blown themselves away.

Very quickly and abruptly, she shut down those thoughts. They wouldn't do anyone any good. Spence was gone, as dead as his big brother Ripper. Cindy was a basket case, and they'd put her in the Life Station for sedation until she could cope without hurting herself or someone else. Kara wondered what Aames and Spence could have been thinking. Yes, they'd ended their own pain, but who the hell had thought about Cindy? Why hadn't they realized what would happen to a woman who had already lost almost everyone she cared about?

As bad as life had been for Kara at certain points, she'd never considered suicide. Even when she'd lost Zak, she hadn't actively thought of taking her own life. Granted, she hadn't thought about living either. She'd lain down on a bed and closed her eyes until William Adama had dragged her off to the Galactica and had given her a purpose for getting up each day. She might have starved to death, but she wouldn't have considered actively putting an end to her life. She just didn't think that way. It frightened her that so many did.

A few of her friends had joked, albeit more seriously than she liked to admit, that she had a death wish in the air. Maybe she was a little extreme. But she was also a survivor, and so far she'd always made it back. She never went out there to get killed, but instead to get the job done. If that had given her a reputation for unnecessary heroics, then it certainly wasn't her fault.

"Good morning," Lee said as he passed behind her on his way in the hatch. She looked sideways at him but didn't reply. His uncaring attitude towards her friends' deaths was still stinging, and she didn't want to be in any more trouble with him than she likely already was.

"When does your shift start?" he asked as he tossed a few things on the bunk a couple beds down from hers. Damn, it looked like he was moving in.

"You make the schedules," she reminded him, and was proud of herself for keeping her voice so level.

"And I'm too tired to remember who's where," he admitted bluntly. "Cut the shit, Kara. What time do you go on?"

"I'm working on the decks at midday," she told him, trying desperately to hold onto her anger in the face of his obvious fatigue. It was hard to look at a friend who was going through so much and remain angry, even when that friend was being a royal jerk.

"Okay, then I need a favor," he asked.

She turned and looked at him, but didn't speak. Her question was in her raised eyebrow and pointed glare.

"I need Tyrol off the deck," he said simply. "He's been working nonstop for forty-eight hours, except for the time he was down in Life Station. He needs to sleep. You know him better than me; how do I get him to lie down?"

Kara thought about it. It was a legitimate concern; Tyrol would work himself sick if given the opportunity, and they needed him. The answer was pretty simple, but she didn't know if she wanted to share her information with Lee. She didn't know him anymore — or wasn't sure she knew him — and she didn't want to risk getting the Chief into trouble. "I'll check the roster when I get down there," she said. "I know someone who can talk him into resting for awhile."

"You mean he actually listens to someone?" Lee said with a trace of amusement. "Amazing."

"I could always talk to your dad," she said thoughtfully. "But I really don't want him in trouble. If the Commander has to order him to quarters, that's what the Chief will consider it. Still, if this other way doesn't work, we can go that direction."

Lee nodded. "So long as he gets some sleep," Lee agreed. "Thanks."

"You're awfully concerned about our non-comms," she said as she turned and leaned back against her now closed locker with her arms crossed before her. She didn't consider how defensive the stance was. If she had, she wouldn't have cared. "It's not like you."

"We can't do our jobs if they don't do theirs," Lee said as he hoisted himself up to the bunk he'd claimed using the ladder. He stuck the things he'd brought with him into the shelves at the head of the bunk, then pulled his feet up to lay down, boots and all. "The Commander said Tyrol lost most of his crews," Lee added softly. "We're lucky he's not a basket case."

"Tyrol's solid," she told him softly. "He's a good man."

"We have a lot of good mean that are dead," he reminded her as he pulled a blanket over himself and beat on his pillow to scrunch it up and lift his head a little more. His eyes closed, he shifted around a little, and then began beating on the pillow again. It wasn't going to help. Fleet issue pillows were no thicker than they had to be.

"Here," she finally said, tossing him one of hers. "Just put it back when you're done."

The pillow had hit him in the face, startling him, but he didn't argue. He stacked her pillow on top of his and lay back down. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said grudgingly. Then she left him to his nap. There was a lot that they needed to say to one another. They needed to clear up misunderstandings and find out if they even had a friendship left after all they'd been through, but now wasn't the time. It was the first time she'd seen him lie down since this mess had begun, and she wasn't going to keep him awake. If he was going to make it as CAG, he needed the sleep. She would leave him to it.

Kara herself had managed a few hours on a deserted bunk earlier that morning. Instead of whining that she couldn't get into Blue Squadron's quarters, she'd found a quiet place in Red's and settled down for a nap. It hadn't been easy finding a bunk where she didn't know the owner, but she'd managed it. Her sleep hadn't been long, but it had been deep. Only the commotion of the Squadron moving into their new quarters had awoken her. She had grabbed her own things then, claimed the bunk she wanted even as she tried to forget that Tracie had once used it, and had started getting ready for work.

Her return to the hangar was uneventful. It seemed like the same men were working on the same things as they had been when she'd left. She checked the schedule for what she needed, and made a couple of notations there, moving two pilots around to cover the opening she'd just created. She initialed the change as acting CAG, because while Lee was sleeping she was. If he didn't like how she did what she was told, then he could stuff it. Paperwork managed, she went in search of Sharon Valerii.

"Hey," Kara called out as she approached the Raptor. Sharon was on the ground beneath it, checking lines and replacing any wiring that needed it. Courtesy of Tyrol, she was one of the better mechanics among the pilots, and she was in demand with so many repairs in the works. But Lee had given Kara an order — if not in so many words — and as Kara happened to agree with it, she was going to carry it out.

"Hey, Starbuck," Sharon called from beneath the spacecraft. "What's up?"

"Got a mission for you," Kara said with a grin.

"Flying?" Sharon asked hopefully.

"That's up to you," Kara muttered. But it got Sharon's attention, and she scooted out from under the Raptor. "What do you need."

"A favor," she admitted. "We have a certain Chief that hasn't been off the deck in three days, and he needs some sleep. We've ordered, coerced, and now we're going to get sneaky. I need you to get your guy out of this hangar and into a bed. Now."

Sharon blushed as she climbed to her feet. "I'm on duty," she explained.

"Not anymore. Schedule has been altered, I checked to be sure that the CAG quarters is empty, and you are officially ordered to get him out of here." At Sharon's dubious look, Kara added, "Boomer, he's going to fall apart if he doesn't take care of himself. I can't go to him and tell him that, though. It's either come to you, or go to the Commander. I'd rather keep this off the record."

Sharon blushed slightly. "What makes you think I"

Kara just shook her head, her expression cutting off Sharon's words. "Most of us knew before," she said gently. "The only people who don't know now are either blind or stupid. Just get him out of here, please."

The blush intensified, but Sharon nodded. "I'll do my best. Can I use the threat about the Commander?"

"Be my guest," Kara allowed. "So what do I need to finish here?"

"Primary check was good," Sharon said, her tone returning to its usual professionalism. "I've replaced most of the wiring into the gravity pod, but there's still a short or two. It's fine here, but out in space you can't fly it without being in a restraint. We need to get power back to that pod."

"I'll get it," Kara said with a nod. "You get some rest. You're back on duty at twenty-two hundred."

Sharon nodded. "Ten hours," she said with a grin. "Wow."

"Try to spend it sleeping," Kara said with a wink. Sharon just grinned back as she walked away. With a groan, Kara then lowered her body down to the hangar floor and slid up under the Raptor to grab the circuit meter. If there was a short here, she'd have to find it.

It took several hours to get the pod operational on the Raptor, and by the time Kara finished she was aching worse than when she'd lain down. Dragging herself back up to her feet, she looked at her watch in surprise and glanced around the continuously bustling bay. At the very least, there seemed to be fewer pieces and more intact spacecraft around her. That was something. No one had come complaining to her either, and that was even better. Maybe things were actually settling into an even keel.

Her stomach gave a disconcerting growl, reminding her that she hadn't grabbed anything to eat before she'd come down. She had done so immediately after her talk with Lee, and she'd been so distracted that food hadn't been a priority. Yet even if she'd had breakfast, she would have likely been hungry by now; it was well past time for lunch.

But Kara didn't want to eat alone. The previous days, someone had gone for sandwiches and everyone had eaten as they worked. It hadn't been bad, but there was something to be said for getting away from work for a few minutes, even if it was only to grab a bite to eat. Kara made a cursory glance around the bay, but everyone seemed actively engaged in whatever they were doing. On a whim, she went looking for a friend to talk to while she grabbed a bite to eat.

Cally wasn't at her usual section of the hangar, which was odd. Kara looked around for another ten minutes before spotting someone she thought might be able to help her. Socinus wasn't the best mechanic, but he was a good worker. And he was also pretty close to Cally, so Kara was pretty sure he'd know where to find her, or at least whether she'd taken time yet to eat. Kara was guessing not, because Cally was as known for getting tied up in what she was fixing as Tyrol.

"Hey, Soc," Kara called out, moving towards him at a jog that seemed to jolt every sore muscle in her body. "Have you seen Cally? I thought the roster said she was on today."

The look on his face was almost terrified, and Kara had to frown. What the hell had she said?"

"She's still in Life Station, I think," the Specialist admitted.

"Did she get hurt?" Kara asked anxiously. She hadn't heard anything, but then she'd gone straight from bed, to the roster, to Sharon.

"Not exactly."

Kara rolled her eyes, "They why exactly is she in Life Station?" she asked in exasperation.

"She well, she"

"Spit it out," Kara said in frustration. "She"

"She had a gun," he finally said, his eyes fixed on his feet. "She took it into a launch tube and well, the Chief talked her out of it, but security took her to the Life Station. I don't know when they'll put her back on duty."

The bottom dropped out from under Kara's world. Cally? "I'm going to lunch," she said quickly. "Tell Evans he's in charge until I get back. Overhead me if there's a problem. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir," Socinus said, and took off towards the other side of the bay at a jog.

Kara wiped greasy hands on the orange coveralls she'd donned when she'd entered the bay, and didn't bother thinking about changing. She took the stairs two at a time as she ran up to the primary level, and walked quickly into the Galactica's main corridor. But she didn't head to the Dining Hall or the Officer's Mess. She was headed directly to the Life Station.

It took some fancy talking once she got there, but Kara wasn't above throwing her rank around when she had the opportunity. She was directly beneath Lee in the chain of command, and with that knowledge she didn't take "no" for an answer. Dodging doctors and techs, she made her way to the back of the medical bay and finally found Cally sleeping on a cot back out of the way. She was pale, and she had gray shadows under her eyes. But in sleep, she looked as sweet and innocent as she did awake, and Kara found it very hard to believe that she might have even considered

Kara stood there for a few minutes, not wanting to wake Cally and yet still wanting some assurance that the young woman was okay. Kara knew that she'd taken Prosna's death hard, but she had never expected this. She felt like she must have misunderstood what Socinus had said. Maybe he didn't know the whole story? After all, the docs wouldn't put in an IV for something mental, would they? It wasn't making sense.

Just as Kara was about to decide to leave and let Cally get some much needed sleep, the younger woman began to move restlessly on the cot, murmuring in her sleep, tears squeezing from closed eyes. Kara had watched too many nightmares in the last few days not to recognize one, and she knew very well that losing sleep was better than staying in the grip of horror.

"Cally," she said softly, reaching for the hand closest to her; the hand that didn't have the needle in it. "Wake up, Cal. It's just a dream."

With a start, Cally's eyes flew open. She looked frightened for a moment, then her gaze landed on Kara and the look changed to one of embarrassment. Finally, Cally's glance took in the room around her, and a horrible sadness seemed to overtake her features.

"It was just a dream," Kara said with a forced smile. "It's over now."

"No," Cally corrected. "It isn't." The tears were making steady trails down the sides of her face now. Kara wasn't entirely sure what to do.

"How are you feeling," Kara said, trying to at least divert her attention from the people around them and the absolute desolation she saw in Cally's eyes.

"Tired," Cally said softly. "Stupid."

"We're all tired," Kara told her with a smile. "And we all do dumb things once in a while."

"Not like this," Cally corrected. "I can't believe I actually"

"What happened?" Kara asked.

Cally shook her head. "I don't even really know," she admitted. "I just know that I was miserable, and I couldn't sleep, and there was a gun sitting there. I just I guess I thought But I don't think I would have used it," she said, turning large brown eyes on Kara. "I really don't think I would have done it. I swear."

Kara felt her heart racing as she realized that Socinus had indeed interpreted the situation correctly. Cally had actually thought about "Well, you're here now," she said. "They'll take good care of you."

Cally nodded and squeezed Kara's hand. "Thanks for coming to see me," she said with a pitiful attempt at a smile. "It really was a crappy dream."

"We're all having them," Kara admitted. "Don't be embarrassed about it. We've all been through quite a bit, and it's not over just yet. But we'll be okay, Cal, just as long as we stick together. Got it?"

Kara watched as Cally met her eyes, focused there for a moment, and seemed to read the message that went beyond the words. They could get through this if they leaned on one another. They could get one another through it. But no one would manage if individuals kept pulling themselves out of the game. They had to finish this together, or none of them would finish it at all. "I've got it," Cally whispered.

"Good," Kara said with honest relief. The understanding in Cally's expression was unmistakable.

She stayed a few more minutes, until Cally started to look drowsy again and then drifted off. Kara watched as the younger woman finally surrendered to sleep, the shadows beneath her eyes just as dark, and her expression just as sad. She wished she knew what she could do to make it better, but she honestly had no idea. With a feeling of resignation, Kara left the Life Station and walked back down to the hangar. It wouldn't be for another several hours that she would realize that she'd forgotten to eat once again.