NOTE: I do not own any of 'The O.C' characters… you can thank FOX. If you have any questions or comment you can e-mail me at liverbrain22@hotmail.com
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Chapter Five
Ryan held his head in his hands at the kitchen table and tried to concentrate on what Conner was asking him. He couldn't comprehend anything that came out of the little boy's mouth. He was too caught up in his own emotions.
"Why can't Aden come back?" Conner asked. "Can he come back now?"
Ryan looked up from the table and stared at his youngest son. "Remember Hammy, Conner?" Ryan asked, his eyes glazed with tears.
Conner nodded his head. "He's in the backyard now."
Ryan cleared his throat. He didn't know what to tell Conner. He's already told him that Aden wouldn't be coming home because he died, but Conner didn't understand him. "Well, Aden is like Hammy now." Ryan explained. "He's not going to come back."
Conner sat there on the kitchen chair balancing his weight on his feet. "Why not? Why can't he come home? You don't want him to come home? Where is he?"
"No, it's not that Conner. He died and now Aden is in a happy place."
Conner nodded and ran off from the kitchen and into the living room. Ryan didn't know what to do. The funeral was today and he couldn't get himself together. Marissa was still in bed sulking, and Ben hadn't left his room for awhile now. Every time he tried to talk to him, he just shut him out and his blue eyes went blank on him.
Ryan didn't hear the doorbell ring and the next thing he knew Seth, Sandy and Kirsten were standing in the kitchen dressed for the funeral.
Ryan looked up from the table and cleared his voice. "Hey."
Kirsten went around the table and hugged Ryan. "How are you guys holding up?"
"I'm fine. Marissa and Ben are still in their rooms. Ben won't talk to me. And Conner doesn't understand what's going on." Ryan said, meeting Kirsten's eyes. "I don't know if I can go through with the funeral today." Ryan admitted.
"Ryan, once it's done with, you'll feel better." Sandy said patting him on the back. "I'll go check on Ben." He then left the kitchen and made his way upstairs. He knocked on Ben's door but didn't hear anything. He then walked in.
Ben was sitting down on the floor near the bunk bed reading a comic book. Sandy walked up to him and sat down beside him. "How you doing, Ben?" Sandy asked. Ben didn't say anything and continued reading his comic. "Uncle Seth is over, don't you want to see him?" Still there was no answer from him. "Aden's in a better place now, so you don't have to worry about him." Sandy said, putting his arm around Ben's shoulder and pulling him in close. Ben shrugged off his Grandpa and stood up and went over to his bed and sat down. Sandy got up and sat down next to him and waited by Ben to say something.
"Go away." Ben whispered his voice hardly audible.
"I can't do that, Ben. You have people worrying about you." Sandy said and then stood up and walked over to Ben's closet pulling out a suit. "We have to leave soon. Here put this on and come downstairs." Sandy gave him the suit and left him alone.
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Ryan held Marissa closely as they both stared at the coffin that held Aden. Marissa was crying and Ryan soothed her as the priest was talking. Ben stood to the side of Ryan and stared at the coffin showing no emotion. Conner stood on Marissa's side and cried. He didn't understand what was going on, but all that he could understand was that he no longer had two big brothers. He now only had one.
Seth and Summer stood side-by-side. They both had tears in their eyes as they watched the coffin lower into the ground. As soon as the ceremony was over, they left to accompany Ryan and Marissa, who were now walking with Kirsten and Sandy.
"You don't have to stay for long, Ryan." Sandy explained. He was talking about the reception that was being held at the Cohen's home. "Come on, I'll drive you guys. You're not well enough to drive."
Ryan didn't protest and handed Sandy the key's to the family van. They all piled into it and left for the Cohen's house.
When they got there, the place was already packed with people who knew the Cohen's and Atwood's. Walking into the Cohen's kitchen, he spotted Trey.
"Ryan." Trey said, walking over to him and hugging him. "I'm so sorry about Aden. How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine." Ryan said, sitting down at the table. He had left Marissa with Summer.
Sandy and Kirsten came into the kitchen and sat down at the table with Ryan and his brother Trey. Seth walked in and sat down with them. It felt awkward for Ryan to be sitting with his foster family and with his blood family.
"Where's Ben and Conner?" Sandy asked. He was concerned for the two youngsters.
Ryan looked over to the den and saw the two boys sitting on the couch. Each not saying anything and staring off into space. "They're in the den."
"Ryan," Seth began, "I don't want to worry you or anything, but Ben hasn't cried. I think something is wrong with him."
Ryan flashed Seth with a glare. "I know that, Seth." He said, his voice cold. "He hasn't even said a word to anyone."
"Not true," Sandy cut in. "He told me to go away."
"I'm sure he's going to be okay." Kirsten reassured everyone. "In a week or two everything will calm down. And Ryan, I don't expect you to be at the office for awhile. You need to be with your family."
Ryan nodded and stood up. "I'm going to bring my family home now, I don't think I can stay here."
Seth got up too. "I'll come too, if you don't mind."
Ryan didn't say anything and left the Cohen's house with his family. Summer came along too.
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"'Morning." Seth said, looking up from the daily newspaper he was reading. He sipped his coffee and asked, "Sleep good?"
Ryan shook his head. "No, Marissa is always dreaming and talking in her sleep. I don't know what to do for her. It's not healthy what she's doing for the baby inside her. She needs to get back on her feet and do something, but she won't listen to me."
"Well, I called Summer earlier and she said she'd come over as soon as possible and take her out. I think all she needs is some fresh air."
Ryan nodded in agreement and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Thanks for everything, Seth."
"No problem, we're brothers. We've got each other's back." Seth said. Ben then walked into the kitchen and went over to the fridge. "'Morning, Ben." Seth said.
Ben ignored his uncle and rummaged through the fridge, pulling out some juice. He walked past the two adults and left to his bedroom.
Once he was in the bedroom, Ben gasped for air and chugged the juice. After he was done, he went over to Aden's bed and made it for him. Afterwards, he began to clean his and Aden's mess they had made last week. After he was done that, he sat in the middle of the clean floor and pulled a comic book out and began to read it. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
Ben didn't hear or see his dad walk into the room and close the door behind him.
"I see you cleaned your room, Ben." Ryan said, examining the room. Ben didn't say anything, so Ryan tapped him on the shoulder. Ben flinched at his touch and looked up at him. Finally, their blue eyes met each other. Ryan took a seat on the floor next to Ben. "Are you okay?" Ryan asked.
Ben closed the comic book and shook his head.
"You want to talk about it?" Ryan asked.
Ben shook his head again.
"Did you want to talk to anyone else about it? Uncle Seth, maybe?"
Ben was still for a minute then shook his head again and whispered, "Sorry."
"No, no—no. Why should you be sorry? You didn't do anything, Ben."
Ben nodded his head and said, "I was there and you were mad at me. I'm sorry." He stopped for moment and then continued. "He was chasing after me, it should have been me." He voice was a whisper and Ryan was stunned at Ben's last words.
"This isn't your fault, Ben. It's no one's fault but the guy that was driving the car. This has nothing to do with you." Ryan said. Ben didn't say anything and lowered his head to the ground and fixated his eyes on the carpet. "You don't have to go to school today, Ben." Ryan said, realized Ben was in his school uniform.
Ben shook his head, got up from the floor and grabbed his backpack. Ben left his room and walked into his parent's bedroom. He walked over to his mom.
"Ben?" Marissa called out, opening her eyes.
Ben kissed his mom on the forehead and whisper, "I'm sorry." And then left the bedroom.
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It was late in the afternoon, so Ryan decided to check on Marissa. She had been in bed all day. Summer had come to check on her but Marissa didn't want to go anywhere with her.
"Marissa." Ryan said, walking into his room. She was still sleeping in her bed. "Come on, Marissa. Please get up. You need to get up. This is good for you and the baby."
Marissa started to cry and buried her face in her pillow. Ryan went over to her and tried to sooth her. "It's okay, everything will be okay." He said, comforting her.
"No, it's not, Ryan." Marissa said. "Aden is dead. That is not okay, okay?"
"Marissa, please don't do this to yourself. Ben and Conner need to see you around the house. They need a mother."
Marissa didn't say anything, so Ryan left the room and went back downstairs, where Seth and Conner were watching T.V in the family room. The phone then rang and Ryan picked it up. "Hello?" He asked.
"Mr. Atwood, this is Mrs. Finch, one of Ben's teacher." The lady said.
"Right, yeah, I know." He replied, wondering why she would be calling. Ben was already home and wasn't in any trouble. Or at least he didn't think Ben was in any trouble. "Is he in trouble?" Ryan questioned.
"Well, no, not really. I just called to send my remorse over the loss of Aden. I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Atwood."
"It's okay, we're getting by." Ryan replied. "Is that everything?"
"No, it's Ben. I'm a little concerned about him. I don't think he should have gone to school today. He just sat there in a blank daze. I kept talking to him and he didn't respond. I'm a little concerned."
"It's okay, I know. He shouldn't have gone to school today, I understand that. He hasn't really talked much since his brother's death."
"I know it must be hard on him. Which is why I went to talk to Mrs. Flood, the principle. She agreed with me that Ben could be assigned tutoring at home. He is not well, Mr. Atwood."
Ryan was getting mad. Of course he knew that Ben wasn't well. Who was? "I understand, Mrs. Finch, but don't you think that it would be better if he was around his friends and not cooped up inside the house all day?" Ryan asked. Mrs. Finch hesitated for a minutes and didn't respond. "Is there something you're not telling me?"
"Mr. Atwood, Ben was involved in a fight today. He is not mentally stable enough to continue going to school here. I'm sure Mrs.—"
Ryan cut her off, "Not stable? Of course he's not stable, his twin brother just died!" Ryan yelled into the phone and hung up.
Ryan grabbed his car keys and started heading out of the house but then Seth caught him. "Where are you going?" Seth asked.
"I just need to go for a drive to clear my head."
"Are you sure you should be driving? Are you okay, Ryan?"
Ryan nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to go think by myself. Can you do me a favor?" Ryan questioned.
"Yeah, sure anything."
"In about an hour, can you check up on Marissa and Ben."
"Yeah, sure. When are you going to be back?" Seth asked.
"I don't know…. Couple of hours. Go ahead and eat dinner, I'll be back later." Ryan said, closing the front door and getting in to his car. He drove around for a half-hour before deciding he needed to go to his brother. He needed to see his blood brother.
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"Where's Mommy?" Conner asked, sitting at the table with Ben and Seth.
"Mommy's sleeping. She's still a little tired." Seth replied, shoving some rice into his mouth. "How's the food, Ben?" Seth asked. Ben was shoving his food from side to side around his plate with his fork. "You don't like my cooking?"
Ben shook his head. "I'm not hungry." He got up, picked up his plate and went into the kitchen.
"Hey, guess what Conner?" Seth said.
"What?" Conner was bouncing in his seat.
"Aunt Summer's coming over."
"Nooo…Does she have to come over?" Conner asked, pouting at his uncle. "She's weird and I don't like her."
Seth laughed. "Indeed, she is weird. But, never tell her that or else she will go all crazy on you. Have you ever seen her in one of her rage blackouts?"
"What's that?" Conner asked.
"Well, uh, it's when someone goes crazy." Seth explained. Conner was nodding his head violently at his uncle. "Why don't we go checkup on your mom and see how she's doing." Seth offered. Conner agreed and the two of them went upstairs to go check up on Marissa.
"Shhh…. I think she's sleeping." Conner whispered. Seth nodded his head and closed the door. "Why don't you go see Ben and I'll clean up the table and wait for Summer to come over."
Conner ran off into his older brother's room and Seth made his way downstairs.
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Ryan pulled up into Chino and drove around his old neighborhood to Trey's house. He wasn't sure if Trey was going to be home or not, but it didn't matter. All he wanted was to get away from everything. He knew that Chino was an escape from the rich snobs of Newport who thought they knew everything. He knew he was slowly becoming one.
Ryan turned off the ignition and stepped out of his car. He walked up the front steps and banged on the door. They didn't have a doorbell. A teenage boy opened the door to him.
"Hey, Uncle Ryan." Josh said, opening the door to him. "Dad told me about what happened to Aden…Sorry."
"It's okay, thanks." Ryan whispered and walked into the house. "Is your dad home?" He asked.
"No, he went out awhile ago. He should be home soon." Josh said, sitting down on a couch and flipping through the T.V. "You can sit and wait if you want."
Ryan went and sat down next to his nephew on the couch.
"You want anything to drink?" Josh offered. "We have beer."
Ryan knew he shouldn't take up the offer, but what the heck, he needed a beer badly right now. "Sure." Ryan replied. Josh got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen, returning with two beers. He handed one to Ryan.
"Thanks. Josh, I don't think you should be drinking. Does your dad let you drink?" Ryan asked, as he unscrewed the top of the beer.
"My dad is the one that lets me drink. I'm thirteen, Uncle Ryan. I'm old enough to drink." Josh protested, opening his beer and chugging it. He put the beer down and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. He offered one to his uncle.
Ryan grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth. "Josh, you shouldn't be smoking. You're too young." Ryan said. He hesitated and then inhaled the cigarette himself and slouched back into the old couch that was surprisingly comfortable. "I haven't had one of these since I was sixteen."
Josh laughed, "Well in that case, you shouldn't really be smoking, either."
"But, I'm an adult, and you're not." Ryan replied. He finished off his beer and Josh got up and gave him another one. Ryan didn't refuse and drank it.
Ryan didn't know how long he was sitting there for or how many drinks Josh had brought over to him. It was eleven o'clock at night when Trey finally came home. Trey was shocked to see Ryan passed out on his couch with his son, holding a beer and cigarette in each hand.
"Ryan, man, what are you doing here?" Trey asked.
Ryan straightened up and looked up at Trey. "I've been here for awhile, waiting for you."
"What's up? What can I do for you?" Trey asked. Ryan took another sip of his beer and another drag of his cigarette. "Josh, go scram. Leave me and your uncle alone for awhile, will you." Trey said to his son, kicking his legs. Josh got up and went to his bedroom. "What's the matter, Ryan?"
"Aden's dead." Ryan replied, not looking at Trey. He focused on the television in front of him.
"Ryan, it's all right." Trey didn't know what to tell Ryan. "Maybe you shouldn't be drinking that." Trey said, referring to the beer in his hand.
Ryan chugged the rest of the beer and handed the bottle to Trey. "I think I should go." Ryan said, getting up. He stumbled his way to the door and fumbled with the doorknob.
"Ryan, man, don't go…Not like this. You're in no condition to drive back home. You can stay here for the night." Trey said, coving the door with his body.
Ryan raised his fist up to Trey. "Get out of my way, Trey." Trey didn't move and Ryan hit him. Trey snapped back and hit him back. "Trey, get out of my way!" He shouted at him. Trey didn't move, so Ryan socked him one in the stomach. Instantly, Trey went falling to the floor and Ryan pushed him over to the side to get to the door. Once he was outside, he breathed in the fresh air and went to his car. He fumbled with his keys and finally got the ignition to start and drove off and out of Chino.
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VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: I didn't realize this, but fanfiction didn't go through with one of my chapter process and it missed chapter 3…lol…and I was reading my story on the net and it missed a whole chapter! So please, read again people, …some of you probably thought I was crazy….
Well, I hope you guys like how the story is going. Thanks for the reviews! They are awesome! I'm so into the story myself and I've been writing like 24/7. I've also been working hard on my other story: Deaf Ears & Solid Tears. If you haven't read it, check it out.