Disclaimer: You all know I don't own Xenosaga and the song "Close to You," but now I also have to add that I don't own the song "My Immortal," that's owned by Evanescence, so none of you guys with the suits sue, okay?
Author's Note: This is the final chapter for "Bound," I hope you've all enjoyed this fic, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end. The story isn't totally over yet though, there will be a sequel to this fic titled "Mother." Unfortunately shoujoai.com has currently stopped updating their fan fics, so if you readers want the lemon part of this chapter (it will be sent in a .txt file just to let you know, you're gonna have to either IM me for it, contact me via e-mail, or request it in your review (make sure you leave your e-mail address in your review though so I know how to send it to you). Just check my author profile for my SN on AIM, for e-mail, contact me at lgamarkyahoo.com. Well with that said, let's see how this tale comes to an end.
Chapter 8: Dreams of a Doll
Everyone is silent, not a single word escapes any who site around the room. The floor seems to have gotten everyone's attention, our eyes all glued to the growing lakes of tears that we had cast upon the ground.
'Did I really do the right thing?' I ask myself.
Again and again I replay the scene over in my head. I remember the weight the gun had on my hand, how I aimed it so perfectly at her heart. I remember squeezing the trigger, barely a tug that unleashed an onslaught upon my sister. The blast itself brought me to the ground, my hip striking against the floor and making my body spring up an inch before sending me back down. My weapon had slipped from my grasp the moment I hit the ground, but I could still feel its warmth in my palms. What I remembered the most was the lump in my throat, the splitting of my heart, and the streams crawling down my face. I had killed my sister, my other half, with my own hands. Surely she did deserve it after all those things she did to Shion, the others, and myself, but when I look at the cause behind her actions, I can't help but think that I did deny her the ability to love and be loved. Maybe if I hadn't pulled the trigger, maybe if I had tried to talk with her some more, I may have been able to save her life without having fired a single shot.
"Come on everyone, turn that frown upside down," Tony's voice suddenly interrupts my thoughts. "This isn't like all of you to just stare at the ground and feel sorry for yourselves."
"'Turn that frown upside down,' who says that anymore?" Hammer grumbles beneath his breath.
"We got the jukebox fixed when we went into town, maybe some music'll cheer you all up a bit," Tony continues.
In the click of a button, the melody of a symphony escapes the speakers of the device. The sound of strings, wind, and drums takes over the sound of silence in the room, releasing me from my thoughts of my sister for a moment. The overall tone is rather soothing yet upbeat, freeing everyone from their depression for the time being. Well, almost everyone.
I look beside me to find my lover still entrapped in her sadness for Miang. I can't blame her for this, after all it is the second time she had to see her first child die. Child, can we even be considered her children? Bound to the flesh, and bound to technology, that is what Miang said about us, that no matter how human we became, our origins would always be bound to technology. But that shouldn't matter, what matters is not where our origins are from, but where we are today. Someone told us that once, but who? Of course, it was him, it was always him back then.
"Shion?" I call her below the melody of the nickelodeon.
She does nothing to respond to me, she simply continues to stare at the ground before her ankles and sobs. Her fingers take hold of the edges of her skirt, her arms tugging at the material tightly and her nails practically ready to pierce through it.
"Miang...," she says my sister's name once more in barely a whisper.
My mind draws a blank as I try to think of words for consolation. At first words such as "sorry" or "forgive me" come to mind, but I can come up with nothing to follow those words. I begin to curse at myself for not being able to think of anything, and once more I find my thoughts returning to Miang's death. The tears begin to crawl down my cheeks again, but there is something else that I'm feeling right now. My fingers ball into fists, tightening as hard as I can make them, my nails practically impaling through the material in my gloves and into my palms. My teeth begin to push and slide against each other, as if they were grinding my own bones. A lump once again sets itself in my throat and I find my eyes narrowing. I feel like I want to scream, to yell at myself for what I had done, to hurt myself for the murder of my sister and bringing sadness unto Shion once more. That feeling begins to slip though as I find her arms wrapping around my body and her head resting upon my shoulder.
"Shion?" I look into the closed eyes of my lover.
"Please, don't say anything, Elly," she tells me.
My left arm then wraps around her shoulder, my palm stroking away the strands that lay upon it. My fingers then find their way to her delicate neck, scrolling up and down its outline as slowly and softly as possible. I feel the warmth of her tears falling on my lap, and I do nothing to wipe them away. These tears, she has every right to shed them, I have no right to stop her from crying. She needs these tears to ease the pain, just as I need her to help go through mine.
"Shion, Miss KOS-MOS?" I look up to find Jin with a tray of tea standing before us.
"Thank you, Jin," Shion says as she takes a cup into her hands.
I take a cup of my own and take a sip of the piping hot liquid. The bitter taste begins to calm my nerves, helping me begin to relax once more. I place the drink on the table in front of us and return my attention to Shion, who still sits there sulking with her cup of tea still in her hands. She does not take a sip of the steaming green liquid, instead she continues to stare at the bottom of the cup as her tears mix with the tea.
"I'm sorry, Shion," Jin apologizes as he takes a seat beside his sister.
"This was the second time...," Shion begins to speak, "the second time I had to see her die. The first time, it was me who killed her, I shot her with my own hands. Now it was Elly's turn to kill her, my other daughter and her sister. When I created both of them, I knew that their lives would always be surrounded by bloodshed, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever see myself killing any of them or having them kill each other. I never," a crack begins to appear in her voice, "...never wanted any of them to ever be involved in killing, even if they were created for that purpose. Do you remember the dolls our father gave me, Jin? The ones named Miang and Elly? The tale of those two dolls had been reborn in my daughters, the one who I neglected and the one I showed my affection too. That's what this was all about, negligence and affection. It was my fault why things ended up like this, it's all my fault why Miang is dead!"
"Shion, it isn't entirely your fault," I assure her, "it is true that you had neglected her for so long, but it's also because of you that she was created. You had given her a chance at life, one that she spent so recklessly. Miang could have tried to...overlook past her loneliness and only focus on the feelings she had for Kevin. She could have learned to accept her fate after the two of us were split, but...," my mind begins to draw a blank once more. "Miang's death is not entirely your fault," I try to speak again, "I was the one she contacted when she became conscious once more, and I did nothing to help her or to get to know her until she died. It was me who pulled the trigger when she died, so Shion, if anyone is at fault for Miang's death, it's me. We both killed my sister, Shion, it's a fact that both of us will have to accept."
"Her death may sadden you at first, Shion," Jin begins to speak, "but as time will pass, I'm sure her death will make you stronger, it will help you endure through the other challenges of life. Let her death be a foundation on where you can build your future, let her death allow you to find new happiness and..."
"So you're saying that I should celebrate Miang's death, Jin?!" Shion screams, her cup of tea falling onto the floor.
"No, I'm not saying that, I'm saying...," Jin tries to explain.
"What do you know, Jin?!" Shion continues, pushing herself out of her seat with her hands ready to strike at her brother's face. "What do you know about losing someone so close to you?! All you do is read your stupid books all day and act out those ancient rituals! How can someone like you understand?!"
"Shion, how could...?" he tries to ask.
"I don't want to hear it, Jin!" she yells again. "I... I..."
With that said, Shion quickly turns away and runs outside of the house, her eyes flooding with tears and loud sobs escaping her breath as she runs. Silence once again fills the room, everyone's eyes now focused on where my lover had ran. The words that Shion said, again I find myself saddened and angered at the same time. I am not angry at Jin, but rather at Shion. What she said isn't true, of course he knows about losing someone close to him.
"Wait here," I tell everyone, "I'll go talk to her."
I hurry outside to find the entire front lawn empty. The cold air of the evening breeze begins to take its toll on me. My skin begins to shiver and my breath becomes heavy. I begin to contemplate going back inside to stay warm, but I quickly brush away that thought when I remember that Shion had run out somewhere. I turn my attention to the woods and quickly hurry down its path. There's really only one place I can think of that Shion might run to at a time like this, a place I had shown her not too long ago.
I hurry down the forest path as fast as I can, making the first turn down the road so that I may head in the direction of where I had just gone earlier today. The ground grows grittier and grittier with each step that I take now, I know I'm almost there, I can practically see the moon's glow reflecting from a body of water. I now find myself staring into the ocean and my feet sinking into the sand below my feet, but Shion is nowhere to be found. I begin to pace down the shoreline toward the east, finding nothing but the never-ending sand dunes and ocean. I don't know how long I run for, but eventually I find something else coming into view, a small mountain of rocks and someone sitting at its peak.
"Shion," I realize who it is.
With the remaining strength in my legs, I push my feet harder into the uneven ground and hurry to where my lover sits. Climbing the rocks is rather simple compared to how fast I run, namely because the rocks are lined up like a staircase. Finally I find myself on the same level as Shion, but she does not realize I'm here, instead she looks straight into the ocean just as when I first laid eyes on her. Her eyes are left unblinking as she stares into the endless sea, her arms wrapped around her legs, and her breath slow and heavy. She is locked deep in her thoughts and I don't want to interrupt her, but I feel that if I don't do something, then she'll only bring herself deeper into depression.
"Shion?" I take the seat beside her.
"What does he know?" she asks, burying her face into her knees. "How can he preach about building a foundation on Miang's death?"
"Shion, Jin didn't mean..."
"How can someone like him, who does nothing but read books all day and resurrect a bunch of ancient rituals preach about losing someone dear to him when he hasn't experienced such a thing?!" she screams at the top of her lungs.
My heart jumps the moment I hear her finish those words, my eyes widening as open as they can and my entire body suddenly starting to boil. My arm then begins to move without a second thought, my palm opening as I swing it to the side. My hand begins to burn the moment it meets with Shion's cheek, the numbness disappearing within seconds but my frustration still remains.
"What do you mean someone like him hasn't experienced losing someone dear to him?!" I retort using all of the air in my lungs. "How can you say such a thing, Shion, how can you say something like that to your own brother?! Of course he knows how it feels to lose someone dear to him! Didn't you tell me how he consoled you shortly after your parents' death, how you weren't the only one who mourned for them? Of course he lost someone dear to him, and that someone was actually two people, your mother and your father! Don't you dare tell me that I'm wrong, Shion, you and I know that he wouldn't have cried for them otherwise!"
"Elly...," her eyes begin to water again, her hand rubbing the spot I had struck. "Thank you, I needed that."
"I'm sorry," I apologize, "maybe that wasn't the best way to get my point across."
"It's all right, really," Shion assures me.
I decide not to argue with her further and avert my attention toward the ocean. How serene the sea is right now, how the waves lightly crash against the shoreline and sink back into the depths they came. The sea, it can show us many faces at once, it can be calm and serene and at the same time, in another place yet same time, it can be very wild and violent. For some reason the ocean reminds me of her, of my sister.
"The stars are beautiful this evening, aren't they?" Shion changes the subject. "Don't you think it's beautiful to see their lights reflecting off the water's surface?"
I turn back to the ocean now, and I find such a sight to behold. The stars' light really does reflect off the ocean perfectly, as if the stars themselves were trapped within. The ocean seems to shimmer through the reflection of the stars' illumination, their shine can't help but bring a small smile to my face. This scene, it's so similar to the one Miang had with Kevin, sitting at a beach and admiring nature, yet at the same time, it reminds me of something else, it reminds me of an event that occurred in my own lifetime. Yes, it reminds me of when Shion and I watched the ocean for an entire day, in each other's arms, comforting each not with words, but touch.
My body can't help but sink now, everything just feels so light. I don't bother to sit back up right, I just let my body fall and have hers catch me. Again I find myself in a familiar place, my arms wrapped around her waist and my face nuzzling against her heart. Her arms wrap around my shoulders now causing another brush of warmth to flow up my body. My breath begins to grow short as her fingers begin to slide across my face and her lips meet with my forehead for a moment.
"Shion, may I ask you something?" I ask her.
"What?"
"Do you think Miang...was able to go into the afterlife?"
"Yes, I believe so," she answers without hesitation, "why?"
"Miang said that we would always be bound to technology, no matter how human we became," I recall, "our origins will always be bound to it. So I'm wondering if those born as machines are even able to go into the afterlife, if we even have souls to begin with."
"Elly, many religions suggest that all of us don't start out with a soul," Shion begins to answer, "that we have to earn it as we go through life. Spiritualists say that those without souls are nothing more than machines, and if both what the spiritualists and religions say are true, than all of us are born as machines. Miang had gone through a lot in her short life, she experienced anger, happiness, sadness, pain, and pleasure, and based on those few experiences, I'm sure she gained her own soul. I'm sure you saw it too when you last looked into her eyes, how all her mechanical parts all seemed to have disappeared and replaced with what seemed like organic ones, I'm sure she was no longer considered a machine when she died, that's why she must have died smiling. So to answer your question, Elly, I do believe that Miang has passed on to the afterlife."
"I see," I nod, "I'm relieved to hear that."
"Elly, did you really mean it when you told your sister that you loved her?" Shion asks.
"Yes," I answer, "of course I meant it. I know she had done many bad deeds in her lifetime, all of them which may have very well destroyed the lives of you, the others, and myself, but I knew where she was coming from. I knew the pain she had gone through in her lifetime, after all, I was also there to experience it. I truly did mean it when I apologized to her and when I told her that I loved her, I knew that if it had been me that was killed that day, I would be asking for the very same thing. I don't know why I cared for her, maybe it was because we both had gone through so much when we were one, so I suppose my love for her was a way of saying sorry that she was left to die instead of me," I find the tears once again crawling down my cheeks.
"Elly..."
"It was because of Miang's death that I was able to experience all of my memories with you and everyone else," I continue, "and it pains me to know that the foundation of my existence is based on my sister's death. But you know what Shion, I'm also thankful for that, not because I have any feelings of malice or hatred for her, but because her sacrifice also allows me to live my life to the fullest. I haven't realized it until recently, Shion, but I must live my life to the fullest otherwise Miang's sacrifice would have been wasted. Shion, I'm sure that's what Jin meant when he tried to speak with you, that you should now live your life for Miang, for your daughter and my sister."
"You're right, Elly," my lover's eyes begin to water again, "that's what she must have wanted in the end, for the two of us to live our lives to the fullest at the expense of her life."
"I remember what chaos said when MOMO's sisters died, he said something like 'their hearts and memories now exist within MOMO,' I believe that the same is with Miang and us, her heart and memories are now with us, so Miang is not dead as long as we live our lives for her sake."
"Elly..."
Her hand begins to pet at the seams of my tears, her touch as gentle and comforting as ever. I close my eyes and indulge in the warmth of her hand, the feeling bringing a soft smile to my lips. I feel the device inside my chest beginning to beat deeply, as if it were striking against my rib cage with all its might. My heart, yes, that's what it is, my heart. No, its our heart now.
"Elly," her hand stops at the source of the beats.
"We should head back now, don't you think?" I ask.
"Yeah, everyone must be getting worried now," she nods.
We return to the house soon after, finding the living room full of life as opposed to when we left. The moment I open the door, I find the young realian in the middle of the living room with a microphone in her hand and the melody of strings and a piano echoing from the music box. MOMO's voice comes to a stop the moment Shion and I walk through the door, although the sounds behind her voice continue to play.
"Um...sorry for running off so suddenly," Shion apologizes to everyone with a bow.
"Don't worry about it," Jin assures her as she takes her seat once more.
"...Jin, I owe you an apology," she gets to the point. "What I said before running off, I didn't mean..."
"It's all right, don't worry about it," he assures her again with his usual smile, "you were just angry and..."
"No, I really mean it, I'm sorry."
"Really, there's no need..."
"Just take my apology!" she begins to raise her voice.
"Forget it, just drop it!" he retorts by raising his own voice.
"I won't drop it!"
"Well I'm telling you...!"
"I guess they're okay with each other," I sigh.
"Hey KOS-MOS, why don't you sing?" the young realian tugs on my arm.
"Yeah, go for it," I look to the other side of the room to find Jr. cheering.
"Come on, Miss Android, give it a shot," Captain Matthews' compliments follow.
"Please, give it a try," I turn to the side to find chaos cheering for me as usual.
"I've never done this before," I admit to everyone while taking the microphone into my hand.
Something doesn't feel right. My entire body seems to be growing tight, my breath somewhat choking, my heart once again beating like crazy, and sweat beginning to drop from my brow. I look to the floor to find my legs trembling at the knees, I find it hard to stay on my two feet. Nervousness, that's probably what I'm feeling right now.
"...I think I'll pass," I try to hand the microphone back to the child.
"Please, Elly," I look back to Shion to see her argument with Jin finally over, "please sing."
I find the trembling of my body beginning to ease now. I take in another breath and let it escape my lungs and I find myself calm once more.
"All right, I guess I'll try it just this once."
"Okay ladies and gentlemen," Tony announces from the jukebox, "next up we have the lovely Miss Dynamite, the Cerulean-Haired Mistress of the Machine, the one, the only..."
"So what do I do exactly?" I interrupt him, unaware of how I'm supposed to do this.
"Just read the words off the screen in front of the monitor," Hammer instructs me, pointing to the TV on the far wall.
"Don't just read them off the screen, okay," MOMO tells me, "try to sing it."
"Sing?"
Come to think of it, I never did sing before. Isn't singing putting emotion into your words in some sort of rhythm? Up until a few days ago, I had been speaking in a monotone expression, and now I'm supposed to put all my emotions into words in a rhythmic fashion? This is going to be difficult.
"I think we got the perfect song for you," I look back to the jukebox as Tony chooses a record.
"Um...," I find my knees beginning to shake again.
"Elly, what are you going to sing?" Shion asks from the audience.
I turn back to the monitor at the end of the room and several words appear on screen.
"My Immortal, by Evanescence," I answer, reading the words on the TV.
At this moment I hear the sound of piano keys beginning to play from the nickelodeon. My body begins to grow tense once more as words begin to appear on the TV. My eyes begin to circle around the room to find the smiles of everyone else looking on. I take in another deep breath and try to calm my nerves once more, closing my eyes and letting the words flow from my mouth.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
I begin to hear the light rapping of the palms of everyone in the room. I open my eyes for a second and see the smiles of everyone widening. I feel a bit more at ease now seeing and hearing their support. A third breath enters my lungs and I bring the microphone toward my lips once more and continue.
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
A brush of warmth begins to fall upon my body now, flowing from within. It starts to burn from within my heart, but I feel it beginning to course through my veins. This warmth, it doesn't make me feel hot or sweat, but it causes my mind to feel more at ease. I allow this feeling to continue coursing through me as I bring the microphone to my lips again.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
The color of violet begins to appear in my closed vision, collecting in the form of some sort of figure. The vibrant colors burn like fire, slowly disappearing into the air as they rise into the sky. More colors begin to appear within the purple haze; a grayish blue travels down halfway in the middle of the haze, followed by the colors of black. The haze slowly begins turning into a shape now, gloved arms begin to dangle at the top side parts of the haze and silver boots take form on the lower side parts of the outline. The blue begins to take the form of hair and soon I find myself looking at a familiar image.
'Miang?'
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
The image of my sister now turns to face me, her face no longer wearing the monotone expression she normally wore, but instead wearing the final expression she had when I last saw her.
"Elly..."
Her smile, so warm and happy. How wide her smile is, stretching from ear to ear and her eyes, those beautiful sky blue eyes, I can see my reflection shimmering from them from afar. I find my legs suddenly pushing myself toward her, her figure growing closer and closer with every step. Her arms begins to reach for me now and I find the ground disappearing before my feet as my legs push all of my weight into the floor.
"Miang!"
The warmth of her body lays upon myself in the next moment. I find myself snuggling against the top of her breast, my cheek nestling against the beat of her heart. Her fingers slowly begin to travel down my hair and her breath coursing onto my brow and nose.
"Elly..."
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
The warmth around me begins to fade now, the cold winds now taking it's place. I feel my sister beginning to slip away from me and I try to wrap my arms around her more tightly. Colder and colder her figure becomes, thinner and thinner I feel her body becoming. My wrap tightens around her body once more, my entire body pressed against her skin.
"Don't go...," I beg in barely a whisper, "please, don't go."
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I feel her arms starting to part from my body, her entire being now beginning to slip away from my grasp. No matter how I hard I try to pull her in, she continues to grow further and further apart. Her milky smooth skin starts to pass through my fingers now, the texture melting into vapor. Again I try to keep her from escaping my embrace, but now I find myself holding nothing and in the place of her body is the image of vapor.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
'Miang...,' I find the tears once again coursing down my cheeks.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
"Do not cry, Elly," I hear her voice within my ears. "We are one once again. My hopes and dreams are with you once again. I had gotten my wish to become one once again, Elly, so please don't cry."
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
"To love and be loved," I feel her embrace glide down my cheek once more, "that is what we truly wanted back then. Through you, Elly, I can embrace and be embraced. We are one, Elly, bound to the flesh and soul. We are bound, my sister, bound to each other..."
All of me...
Me....
"Miang...," I place my hand over the warmth on my cheek.
I open my eyes in the present once more and find myself before the presence of Shion and the others once more. Silence has once again fallen upon the room and I slowly place the microphone down.
'I must've done something wrong,' I think to myself, 'why else aren't they...?'
A small clap begins to interrupt my thoughts and I raise my head from the floor. Another rapping of hands follows, followed by another until the entire room is engulfed in an applause. I find water once again falling from my eyes and down my face, but I feel my lips parting into a smile.
"That was beautiful, Elly!" Shion applauds.
"That was great," I turn to the other side of the room to hear Allen's compliment.
"Perfect, just perfect," chaos compliments.
"Oh man, that was just terr...oh what the hell, that was great!" Captain Matthews gives a normal compliment for once.
"You're quite the singer, Miss KOS-MOS," Jin tells me.
"Thank you, everyone," I close my eyes. "Thank you, Miang..."
The rest of the evening was followed by more singing, although I have to admit, many of the others weren't very good. Still, we all had fun mocking one another over our horrible singing skills, although no one seemed to mock me really. Throughout the celebrations, I would notice how Shion was always smiling at me, how she would ignore the others unless they talked to her. I don't know why, but I could tell why she was smiling at me; she was smiling because I had made her proud, as a daughter and as her lover.
"Miang...," I look out the window of Shion's room to find a full moon mingling with the stars.
"We are one once again. My hopes and dreams are with you once again. I had gotten my wish to become one once again, Elly, so please don't cry. To love and be loved, that is what we truly wanted back then. Through you, Elly, I can finally embrace and be embraced. We are one, Elly, bound to the flesh and soul. We are bound, my sister, bound to each other..."
Her final words, or at least I want to believe they were her final words. So we are one once again, or so I would like to think. Are we truly one, does living with another's wishes and memories make that person a part of one's self?
A knock falls upon the door before I can contemplate on this further.
"Come in," I tell the person on the other side.
"Well that was a nice bath," Shion gives a sigh of relief as she enters through the door, a towel in her hand and hair with flannel pajamas covering her body. "Elly, do my pajamas fit you okay?"
I never had to wear articles of clothing such as this until now. I must say that it is quite comfortable, although kind of tacky looking. I suppose there's nothing wrong with a big button-downed shirt that covers my entire body and a pair of cotton pants to go with it, but the color pink doesn't seem to fit me, along with squiggly lines and hearts that are patterned on the breast pocket. Still, it's more comfortable and warm than my usual uniform.
"It's okay," I answer, not wanting to get into the details about its fashion.
"All right, that's good," she says as she takes a seat beside me on the bed.
Just sitting next to Shion begins to put my mind at rest once more. I feel so comfortable just sitting her next to her, yet my spine begins to shiver in her presence and my breath short. I feel my throat becoming parched for some reason, taking a gulp of my own saliva does nothing to quench it. Perhaps its her pajamas that are making me feel this way, I haven't seen her dressed in something so simple yet cute. I don't care if it's the same clothing as mine, but the way it looks on her, it just...
"You were wonderful tonight," she changes the subject, breaking my observation of her perfect form.
"What?"
"When you were singing, your voice was beautiful," Shion explains, "you're a very good singer, Elly."
"Thank you," I smile. "Miang was there with me," I recall.
"Huh?"
"She was there while I sang," I continue. "When I closed my eyes, I saw her smiling at me. She took me into her embrace and told me not to cry, saying that we were one once more. Through me, she said, she can experience the ability to love and be loved. Is that even possible, Shion, for two people to become one if another's wishes is simply cast upon them?"
"I believe so," she answers without hesitation. "It's just like what you said about keeping a person's memory alive Elly, as long as you live for them, then they will always be a part of you."
"You're right."
"To love and be loved, that was Miang's wish," I find my lover's hand brushing my cheek, "now that her memory is a part of you, Elly, your emotions and actions are reflected from Miang."
"I know," I tell her, "there is something she wished to tell you, I know that she meant to tell it to you before she died but... In her place, as her new soul, memory, and self, will you allow me to tell it to you, Shion?"
"Yes, please, tell me."
"Mother, I love you."
"And I love you, Elly."
Her lips begin to fall upon mine at this moment, the warmth of her mouth leaving my entire body paralyzed. The two begin to bicker amongst each other, constantly pressing against one another and pulling on the other's skin. Her arms then begin to crawl onto my body, her hands falling upon my shoulders and pushing my body to the mattress. Her body lays atop of my own now, our true selves only an inch away from each other, hidden from view and contact from the thin pieces of flannel worn on our bodies. The battle between our lips continues, the presses they push onto one another as slow as ever. My entire body begins to shiver, my arms pulling her closer to calm its nerves. Her mouth begins to part from mine now in slow manner, leaving me hungry for more.
"Elly," she barely calls my name.
"Shion."
I can see my reflection in her emerald pupils, I can see how red my cheeks blush at this moment. I can see myself slowly panting for more breath, my entire body already covered in sweat and my pajamas clinging tightly to my skin. The fire inside me burns once more as her hand begins to glide down my cheek, caressing the left side of my face as gently as possible. I close my eyes again and indulge in the feel of her touch, creating a new brush of warmth with every inch her fingers stroke.
"Elly, I love you," she tells me in barely a whisper.
"And I love you, Shion..."
My lips begin to plant themselves upon hers once more and I feel my strength leaving my body. The cold air causes me to shiver, but the warmth of her lips is enough to keep my from submitting to the frozen breeze. My body begins to turn to the side and I find my body lying next to hers. I am not completely free from her embrace however as her left arm still wraps around my waist. I face her once more and find her eyes already closed and embracing the gift of slumber. I smile at the sight of her resting peacefully and I move my body closer to hers so that I may observe her grin more clearly. My eyelids begin to grow heavy with every second I observe her, and slowly but surely I let myself enter the black cave before the world of dreams.
The sound of birds chirping is the first thing I hear after leaving the world of dreams, the lullabies of finches pulling away the seals of my vision. I feel a mass of warmth already pressing against me, causing my body to rise with it. Where I lie, I feel so safe and comfortable lying here, I feel as if it is my sanctuary, where I can be alone with my thoughts and feelings. No, that's not true, I'm not alone where I lie, for this is her form, her heart I lie on.
"Good morning, Elly," my lover greets me.
"Good morning, Shion," I return the greeting after a yawn.
I find her hands already drawn to my face, cupping my cheeks and pulling my face toward hers. Her tender yet warm hands lightly press against the sides of my face, gliding down them as our lips come closer. When they finally meet, I find my entire being beginning to melt once more, that melting feeling starting from my lips and then running through my veins. Her lips are so soft and delicate as I press against them, I fear that I may break them if I were to move them further. Yet she is the one who dares to move them, breaking from our kiss for a mere second and then planting them upon my mouth once more from a different angle. I indulge in the sampling nectar on the surface of her lips, but I wish to explore further. I try to move my tongue inward, but...
"Hey Shion, it's time for...ack!" I turn to the doorway to find Jin suddenly stumbling over.
The moment I see Shion's brother standing in the doorway, I quickly bury myself inside the warmth of the bed's sheets. My entire face seems to burn with embarrassment as I find my heart racing once more. I can't help but wrap my body with the sheets of the bed, ensuring that he take not another second to observe me.
"Jin, haven't you ever heard of knocking?!" Shion lectures. "The door's locked for a reason you know!"
"I... I dunno, the thought just never occurred to me," he stammers. "Oh God, my eyes have been soiled!"
"What are you getting upset with me for, you're the one who walked in on us?!"
"Well how was I supposed to know that the two of you were... this early in the morning?!" he retorts with another stutter in his voice.
"We were not doing that, we were...!"
"If not this morning, than last night!"
"That's none of your business, Jin!"
"I just happened to make it my business! Do you know what Mom and Dad would think if they were still alive and found out...?"
"You leave them out of this!"
"They're my parents too you know!"
"Oh God, just kill me...," I bury myself further into the sheets.
I lose track of the rest of the squabble between the siblings, trying to tune out by thinking of anything else besides their argument. It seems like an eternity before the two stop arguing and finally and I can come out of the bed's sheets.
"Sorry about that," Shion apologizes, "Jin can just be so inconsiderate at times."
"It's okay," I assure her, "at least he didn't come in last night, right Shion? Shion?" my lover suddenly turns beet red with her eyes lowering to the floor.
"...let's just get changed, okay," she tells me after a moment of silence.
We get dressed shortly after. Instead of choosing her Vector uniform, Shion chooses a different kind of apparel I haven't seen her in before. She takes a pair of khaki pants from her dresser that hug her hips, along with a red tank top to go with it. To complete the outfit, she adds a black jacket that has sleeves that cover the top half of her arms, but she leaves the jacket unzipped to show off her red top. I choose to go with a simpler uniform, choosing blue denim jeans and a white t-shirt with the number 70 etched along on the bust-line in red numbers and the logo "Miltian Outpost" behind the numbers. We walk downstairs to find everyone waiting; MOMO's in the kitchen placing what looks like toast and eggs on plates, Jr. and Ziggy are watching the television, the Elsa's crew (minus chaos) talking with one another at the dining table, and chaos and Jin talking with one another.
"Breakfast is ready, everyone!" the young realian tells everyone.
"Thanks for cooking, MOMO," the Durandal's captain thanks her as he takes one of the plates.
"You're welcome," she replies.
"This is good," the silver-haired boy compliments her as he takes a fork full of egg into his mouth, "you're an excellent chef, MOMO."
"I'm not that good, Shion's a lot better than I am."
Everyone including myself takes a plate of their own and finds a seat somewhere within the first floor. Shion finds herself a seat on the counter close to the kitchen's entrance and I decide to take a seat between her and Jr. I take the piece of bread into my mouth for a second and take a bite out of it. It tastes rather plain if not for the butter on it, but still, it's better than Jin's wheat cereal.
"So how is it?" MOMO asks from two seats down from Jr.'s direction.
"It's good," I find myself inclined to lie.
"How about something to drink?" Jr. passes a drink to me.
I take the plastic cup into my hands for a moment, taking time to look at the translucent liquid. A slight chill passes onto my fingers as I hold the cup, but it's not cold enough to freeze them further. I closer into the drink held within, finding small bubbles clinging to the sides and some floating to the top where they pop and fizz for a moment. I bring the liquid closer to my lips and a faint smell of citrus enters my nose. I bring my lips to the drink, the bubbles tingling against my lips the moment they touch the liquid. I ignore the tiny burns and sip the drink further, the cold liquid sinking into my mouth and into my throat. The sour taste of lemon and lime is barely apparent as I gulp the contents, but for some reason I find it enjoyable. More and more of the liquid sinks down my mouth and throat until the contents of my cup are empty.
"Well, how was it?" chaos asks from the seat next to Shion.
"I liked it," I answer, "may I have some more?"
The silver-haired boy takes my cup and fills it again with a liter bottle of the citrus soda. Strange, that's the very same drink the others attempted to give me about week ago, the day before I jumped off the Elsa. Yes, that's right, I remember, they invited me to join them for breakfast but I had refused them. Come to think of it, I really have changed a lot compared to what I was like a week ago. It's strange to realize how much I've changed so much in so little time. I guess I have Shion and Miang to thank for that.
"Here you go," chaos returns the drink before me.
"Thank you," I take the glass into my hand again.
After breakfast, we all once again return to the beach like yesterday. Again I find everyone including myself wearing undergarment-like clothing for the occasion (well maybe not Allen, he once again wears the hilarious-looking outfit that covers most of his body). Once we arrive, everyone returns to their duty from yesterday. The children, along with chaos, play with that inflatable ball, Jin is out fishing on the dock while Shion tries to help him, and new to the group is Ziggy and the rest of the Elsa's crew who sit in one corner and talk with one another. I don't find myself with any of these groups, instead I look out into the ocean and find myself locked in my thoughts.
"'To love and be loved,'" I find myself once again recalling Miang's words, "to be in the companionship of others and welcomed in their arms. All of us that have these things take them for granted."
At that moment I feel a small force pushing against my shoulder, but it only lasts for a second. I turn to where the device had fallen and find the ball the children were playing with at my feet. I take it into my hands and look back to where MOMO and Jr. are. I find the young realian running toward me, finding her standing before me in seconds.
"Thanks," the child smiles as I return the ball to her.
"You're welcome," I return the smile.
"Hey KOS-MOS, do you wanna play too?" she then asks me.
"Okay," I answer.
The next thing I know I'm also hitting the ball around with the children. I can't help but smile the entire time as I strike at the ball in the direction of either of the kids' or chaos's paths.
"Got it!" Jr. calls before he hits the ball toward me.
"Got it!" I say as I hit the ball towards MOMO.
I look to the other side of the beach to find Shion watching Jin still trying to catch a fish. She seems rather bored as she sits there watching her brother's failed attempts, sighing once nearly every ten seconds.
"Shion," I call her at the top of my lungs, "do you want to play with us?"
"All right, sure!" she calls back with a smile on her face.
"Hey wait Shion, I think I got something!" Jin tells his sister as his fishing pole begins to tug.
"Oh give it up, Jin!" Shion tells him as she gives his back a slight push.
The moment Shion pushes him, Jin begins to stagger forward, one foot slipping off the edge of the dock and the rest of his body falling forward in the next. His entire body plummets into the ocean after, fishing pole and all. The others and myself can't start laughing as soon as Jin emerges from the ocean, his clothing and body soaked and pieces of seaweed hanging from his hair. Friendship, truly something I can no longer live without.
We spent the rest of the day at the beach until it was time for dinner. Jin wasn't able to catch any fish that day because he lost his fishing pole when Shion pushed him into the ocean. Luckily we had ingredients to make Shion's special curry for dinner, so we were able to get a good meal. There was karaoke again after we ate, everyone had a turn to to sing this time. It was pretty cute to see MOMO singing a song with Ziggy, it's amazing how she's able to get him to do things he's usually not comfortable with. When it was Allen's turn to sing however, I had to contain myself from laughing when he tried to sing Elvis's "Jailhouse Rock."
Now that that's all over, I once again find myself in Shion's bed with my lover resting at my side. Both of our eyes linger toward the ceiling as we reflect on our day. Such joy and laughter I felt today, and it wasn't with just Shion alone. For once I was smiling for an entire day, not worrying about anything else. I'm sure Miang would have loved to have had a day like this, a day dedicated only to having fun with friends. I just feel really happy right now, lying here right this after living through such a wonderful day. Another thought crosses my mind though. My mission from HQ, I had forgotten all about it this past week, and I had especially forgotten it today.
"Is something wrong, Elly?" I turn to my side to find my lover.
"My mission from HQ," I answer, "I had forgotten all about it these past few days."
"Do you really need to remember it now," Shion asks, "do you really have to worry about your work when you're having fun?"
"What?"
"I thought a lot like that too not too long ago," Shion recalls, "I was always thinking about work when I was supposed to be having vacation. I missed out on a lot of opportunities I could've been happy because I kept thinking about work."
"So what made you stop thinking like that?"
"You, Elly, it was you," she smiles, snuggling against my shoulder. "Life is but a grace period, Elly, so live it to its fullest when you can."
"Yeah," I nod.
My eyes meet with hers at this moment and our lips begin to move forward. For a second they press against each other, just long enough for either of us to get a good taste of the ambrosia within. Her head falls upon my shoulder again at this moment and her arms wrap around my waist. My hand begins to brush several strands of her hair, slowly running through the amber brown until it stops at her shoulder. I press my palm against it and pull her in closer, bringing her forehead to my lips. I look back to her face now and find her sleeping soundly, her breathing tickling against my skin and her heart beating against my body. I smile at the sight of her form and I begin to close my eyes.
I feel the darkness slowly beginning to engulf me, my eyes now shut and my breathing beginning to grow slow. The evening breeze enters through the window, but it causes neither of us to shiver. A small brush of warmth then crawls down my cheek at this moment, as if fingers were gliding across it. I feel a weight softly pushing against my body now and the breath of another beating upon my lips. For a second they meet with the mouth of another, filling my being with another touch of warmth. Their face then meets with my own at this moment as I feel the side of one's face on my cheek, barely rubbing against it. A drop of water then crawls down the cheek of my mysterious visitor, gliding down the crevice between our faces.
"Goodbye...," she whispers.
Slowly the weight pressing against my body begins to disappear and my body begins to grow cold. Her fingers glide down my face once more, my body practically dragging itself with the hand as it does so. The moment the fingers meet with my chin I feel my entire being frozen once more and the evening breeze blowing as cool as ever. The breeze begins to settle now, my body sinking further into the comfort of the mattress and embrace of my lover. I find my entire being beginning to relax now, as if my self is being absorbed into the environment. Even though my mysterious visitor has left me and the cold winds have removed the trails of warmth of her fingers, the fire of her soul still remains in my heart. Water begins to drip from the gaps between my eyes and their seals, and yet there is a smile perched upon my lips. A part of me is sad that she is gone, but another part of me is proud that her memory will always be with me.
"Goodbye, Miang..."
Author's Note: Well, that's the end of "Bound," I hope you all enjoyed this fic, I enjoyed writing. The purpose of this chapter was basically to show how Elly changed from the beginning of the story, how she is now able to express herself more openly compared to how she was emotionless and whatnot in the game and beginning of the story. The ending was pretty hard to make, and it was hard for me to pull off, I just had to think of a way to have Elly say farewell to Miang. Elly and Shion's story isn't over yet, because there will be a sequel to "Bound," titled "Mother." "Mother" will be an AU of Xenosaga Episode 2, and will roughly connect Xenosaga with Xenogears. Unlike "Warm" and "Bound," "Mother" will be told in multiple POV's, not just Elly's or Shion's. Below is a preview of "Mother," told in Shion's POV. The preview is a mere rough draft, so many details and whatnot are missing, and the final product will probably be different. Well for now, enjoy!
(Shion's POV)
Vector Industries, Second R & D Division, after spending three days at home, Elly, Allen, and I have finally come back here. We had just gotten word yesterday from HQ to bring Elly here to receive her secondary equipment, but there's a problem with that. Elly is no longer the same android Allen, myself, and the rest of my staff, created several months ago, she's a living breathing human being. The company still doesn't know this, and before I could report this to the director, our communications were cut off. It looks like his patience for me delivering Elly has run short, probably because he found out that I was on Second Miltia all this time and I hadn't reported to Vector.
A hand wraps around my own at this moment, and I turn to its owner. She gives me a smile for reassurance, but her cerulean blue eyes tell me a different story. I can see the worry behind her mask of happiness, she's not sure what's going to happen. Looking into her eyes also worries me, but I try not to show her this and give her a smile of my own.
"I'll be all right, Shion," she tries to assure me, "I'm sure if we were to explain what happened these last few days the company will reconsider taking me back."
"You're right, Elly," I tell her, trying my best to lie, "the director's a patient and understanding man, I'm sure he'll understand why I can't turn you over to the Second R & D Division."
What I liar I am, even if I were to explain to him what had happened these last few days, would he even believe my story. The story about Elly's dormant sister, Miang, resurfacing after all these years and trying to take over her body would sound ridiculous to most people. Although it was also because of Miang that Elly became who she is today, and I am grateful for that, but I do disapprove of the method she used to do that. Miang, my first daughter, if only I had shown her I cared back then, maybe if I did that Elly wouldn't have gone through all that torture these past few days. But then, if I did that, then Elly wouldn't have been born, well not born in the sense she is now.
"Shion, are you all right?" Jin's voice breaks me out of my thoughts.
Jin decided to accompany us on this trip, after all he does need to go out into the city every once and a while so he can get some groceries and whatnot. Besides, he also does volunteer work at one of the orphanages, which he joined him for about an hour ago.
"I'm all right, thanks," I answer.
"Are you sure, Chief," Allen asks, "you've got that look in your eyes again, the one that says 'something's not going to work out the way it's supposed to be.'"
"He's right, Shion," Elly adds, "the way you tried to reassure me seconds ago didn't sound too convincing, are you really worried that..."
"Of course I'm worried!" I practically yell, stopping everyone in their footsteps. "I mean, I don't want to turn you over to the Second R & D Division, Elly, not after what happened these last few days. I can't just turn..."
"You're late, Ms. Uzuki."
That voice, that's not the director's voice, but it sounds familiar. I look before me now and find a well dressed gentleman in black, his eyes a red-brown shade, but his hair is as white as a ghost. His hair's bangs are separated into two strands that can easily cover his eyes, both of these strands rather curled while the rest of his hair is cut neatly, not one strand going past his skull. His skin is nearly as pale as his hair, and his figure is rather short and flail. His appearance and demeanor reminds me of someone, but who? chaos? No wait, I do recognize this man, this is...
"M...M...Mr. Wilhelm, CEO of Vector Industries, what are you doing here?" Allen stammers.
"Sir Wilhelm?!" I quickly realize. "Oh my gosh, it's quite an honor to meet you, sir!" I quickly bow.
"No, the honor is quite mine," he says calmly. "Please, there is no need to be formal with me, Ms. Uzuki, Mr. Ridgelly. Hm, so you're KOS-MOS, correct?" he quickly turns his attention to Elly.
"That's right," Elly nods, "that's what many people call me."
"You have not communicated with us for several days now, do you have an explanation for that?" the gentleman asks.
"Er..., well, you see...," the blue-haired angel begins to stammer.
"Ms. Uzuki, is this really the KOS-MOS unit you've been working on for nearly two years now?" Mr. Wilhelm asks, a slight hint of frustration in his voice. "The last time I checked, I thought KOS-MOS wasn't supposed to have an emotions module that mimicked nervousness. This individual seems just like a normal girl."
"Well, there is an explanation for that, but...," I try to explain.
"Sir!" I turn around to find another individual.
I find a woman now standing before us dressed in a security uniform, her entire clothing a dull gray color. The color of her skin is a milky white color, and she wears no make up on her face. She wears a hat with the Vector Industries logo on it, at the bill of the hat covers the image of her pupils. I cannot see the color of her hair either, all of it seems to be collected within the cap. I feel my body slightly shiver from her presence, but another part of me feels rather relaxed. She begins to walk forward now, her eyes never lingering toward myself, Jin or Allen. For a moment she stops though, stopping for a few moments to look at Elly. Elly keeps her eyes on the floor as this woman observes her, every once and a while taking a split second or two to look at the woman's face.
"I'm guessing that this is the new weapon that will combat the Gnosis?" the security guard asks as she turns to Mr. Wilhelm.
"That's what Ms. Uzuki claims at least," Wilhelm answers.
"You look just like an ordinary girl to me," the woman tells Elly.
"But this is KOS-MOS, it's just that in the past few days...," I try to explain again.
"No need for an explanation," Mr. Wilhelm stops me once more. "If you say that this woman truly is KOS-MOS, than I shall take your word for it. Guards!" his fingers snap.
Two more security guards arrive at this moment, rushing to Mr. Wilhelm's side.
"Take this blue-haired woman to the main lab please," he orders.
"What?!"
"Stop it!" Elly tries to order the guards as they take her arms. "Let me go! Shion!"
My eyes widen at the sight of the men dragging my love away from me, the liquid within beginning to crawl down my face. I feel my teeth beginning to grind against each other now, my fingers balling into fists, and frustration building up within me. There's no way I'm going to let them take Elly away from me so easily!
"Elly!" I try to chase after her.
"Chief, stop it," Allen takes a hold of my arm.
"Let me go, Allen!" I order him. "I can't just let them take Elly!"
"But Chief, no matter how you look at it, we..."
"Elly!" I manage to escape Allen's grasp.
I try to run past Mr. Wilhelm as they take Elly away, but the female security guard blocks my path. I try to run past her just like Allen and Mr. Wilhelm, but she takes a hold of my shoulder and pushes me back.
"Stop it, you can't just take Elly away from me!" I spit.
"Restrain yourself otherwise I will be forced to take drastic action," the security guard orders me.
"Please, Ms. Uzuki, I don't want to have any harm come to you, so please calm down and..."
"Elly!" I try to push the woman out of my way.
I am able to move her out of my way and find myself rushing toward Elly as fast as I can. A sharp pain suddenly enters the back of my head now, my hair being tugged back by the woman I had tried to run past. I turn around now and step back toward the woman to relieve the stress from my hair, but I do not back down from my chase. I bring my knee upward at the first opportunity I can, striking at the abdomen of my captor. She hunches forward from the impact of the blow and he hold on my hair now loosens. My other leg then rises after, my foot striking against the chin of the woman and sending her to the floor. I take no time to see if I had hurt her badly or not and return to chasing after Elly.
"Elly!" I scream.
The woman I had just sent to the floor already returns to her feet and blocks my path once more. I bring my elbow to her jaw this time, but it does nothing but push her head back for a mere second. I try to bring my other fist to her face this time, but this time the crook of her arm catches my attack. Before I can react, I suddenly find a force exerting on my sternum and my body suddenly being pushed back all the way where Allen and Jin stand. My back strikes against the metal floor in a mere second and I find myself already staring at the building's ceiling.
"SHION!!!!!" I hear my lover scream.
"Chief, are you all right?" Allen quickly rushes to my aid.
"Why you!" Jin begins to draw his sword.
"Elly, hold on!" I push Allen out of my way again, staggering back to my feet.
"Don't try anything else," the woman reaches for the pistol on her belt.
"That's enough!" Mr. Wilhelm orders. "Ms. Uzuki, whether you like it or not, we are taking KOS-MOS out of your custody! As a result of your misbehavior and inability to follow orders, you are hereby suspended without pay from Vector Industries for six months! Good day," he begins to turn away.
"You can fire me for all I care, just return Elly to me right now!" I yell.
"Ms. Hawwa, if Ms. Uzuki is to try anything else, you have permission to kill her," Mr. Wilhelm tells her before starting to walk off.
"Understood, sir," the woman nods.
"Wait!" I try to chase after Elly once more but the guard stops me once more.
"Please don't do anything else," she tries to ask me politely for once, "I don't want any harm to come to you."
"You tell me that after you punched me to the ground?!" I seethe.
"Please, Shion," she tells me in a somewhat pleading tone, "I don't want anymore harm to come to you."
Part of me begins to calm down now for some reason. For some reason I feel obligated to obey this woman, not out of fear, but for some other reason I can't describe. The events that just happened begin to take their toll on me now and I begin to stop my pursuit now the tears once again crawling down my face as rapid as ever. I find my fists beginning to pound against the guard's chest and shoulders, but she does nothing but let me strike at her. Cries and whimpers escape my lips, and I know I can't do anything to stop them from taking Elly away. Arms then begins to wrap around my waist now and a cheek begins to brush against my own. This woman, why is she holding me like this. I feel obligated to strike her, but something else is stopping me from doing so.
"I'm sorry, Shion," she apologizes, "I truly am sorry about everything."
Author's Note: Well that's a small preview of one of the beginning chapters of "Mother," this fic will be much more action-oriented than "Warm" and "Bound." So "Bound" is finished now, and I hope you've all enjoyed reading this fic, and I hope you all look forward to "Mother." Reviews are welcome, and as usual, no flames or anything like that. Oh, if you wanted the lemon version of this chapter, go ahead and try to IM me or e-mail me for it at lgamarkyahoo.com since shoujoai.com is currently not updating their fics. Well I guess that's it for now, I hope to see you all in "Mother," later people!