Disclaimer - All of these characters belong to the wonderful JK Rowling. I make no money from this. Promise.

Chapter Six – Showers and an Explanation

With every once of strength she had, Tonks ran into the house and up the stairs. She thought she saw someone in the hallway, but she didn't care. The only thing she wanted was to get clean.

Slamming her bedroom door behind her, she scrunched her nose and became Tonks again, but with a pink crew cut. At that time, she realized she couldn't make it to the bathroom. Tonks grabbed her wastebasket and promptly threw up. Already, she felt much better. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"I'm not in the mood for company," she yelled through the door, "I'll talk to you in the morning!" She stripped out of the Celeste clothes and wrapped a towel around herself. All she wanted was a long, hot shower, followed by a cup of dreamless sleep.

There was another knock. "Tonks, please, it's Severus," she heard through the door.

Suddenly, the conversation at the bar rushed back to her. Severus playing both sides. How delighted Malfoy was about it.

Grabbing her wand, she opened the door and pointed it straight at him. "I said tomorrow. I have nothing to say to you right now," she said menacingly, still threatening him with her wand.

"Please, Tonks, I need you to understand," he said imploring her with his eyes.

Tonks felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She wasn't ready to argue, she was just very, very tired. "Severus, I can't discuss this now. Please, can we talk in the morning?"

"We need to talk now," he said firmly.

Tonks gave up. "Fine. But we're not talking until I've had a shower, understood?"

"That's fine. May I wait for you in here?"

"If you'd like." Remembering the mess in the wastebasket, she said a cleaning spell and it was gone. She walked out of the room and practically ran down the hall to the bathroom.

Tonks turned the water on and made it as hot as she could stand it. Relief filled her; she just stood under the water for almost five minutes before she attacked her skin. Scrubbing as hard as she could, she realized that Snape hadn't seemed to notice that she had only been wearing a towel when they spoke. "Thank goodness for small miracles, eh?" she said aloud. When her skin was almost raw, she stopped washing her body. She squinted and felt hair around her shoulders; she had her natural hair now. Tonks made as much lather as she could and even then, washed her hair three times to be sure.

Feeling much better, she turned off the shower and toweled off. Tonks still felt a little off kilter. She realized she might never feel the same again.

Wrapping the towel tightly around her body, she scrunched her nose and had a pink crew cut again. She opened the door to her room and saw Severus, sitting in a chair with his face in his hands. When he realized she was in the room, he stood up quickly. She looked at him; he had taken off his coat, wearing only a high collared white shirt. She had never seen him so informal before.

"I need to get dressed," Tonks said softly. "Will you please turn around?"

"Of course," Severus said, complying.

What Tonks wanted to do was change into her pyjamas. Realizing that they were going to have an important conversation, she changed into a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans. "I'm dressed," she told him

When Severus turned around, Tonks was shocked. Gone was the defeated man she saw just a moment ago. Here was the potion master she knew. "I'm going to explain what you heard tonight."

Sitting on her bed, Tonks had the distinct feeling she was about to be lectured. Tired as she was, she knew she wanted to hear what he had to say.

He showed Tonks his forearm, and just the shadow of the dark mark made her quickly look away. "Two years ago the mark slowly started coming back. I knew I had a choice to make. After the first war, too many people knew I was a 'reformed' Death Eater. When I was called back to the Dark Lord's service. I had to pretend to cut off my ties with Dumbledore."

Tonks wanted to start laughing. She had been transported back to the dungeon at Hogwarts. Severus was acting like she was a first year that he was lecturing. Only the fact that they were talking about life and death kept her from giggling.

"I told the Dark Lord that Dumbledore no longer trusted me because of Harry Potter's opinion of me. That Potter hated me more than anyone else alive, maybe even more than the Dark Lord himself. I allowed the Dark Lord select access to my thoughts, showing my hatred of Harry Potter. The Dark Lord accepted this and I was welcomed back into the fold, after some punishment." Severus winced at that word.

"You were tortured?" Tonks asked sharply.

"That is not important," Severus replied softly. "What is important is that for the past year we've had a much better idea of what the Death Eater's plans are. And I'm able to give them false leads. Of course Malfoy will say that I'm a double agent. In his head, that's what I am. I'm only able to stay alive due to my mastery of Occlumency."

"Thank you for telling me this," Tonks said simply. "I was just shocked, hearing your role like that. With every thing else, I just snapped. I apologize for pointing my wand at you."

"That doesn't matter. I just need you to understand the truth. We need to be able to trust each other. Our lives could depend on it," Severus told her seriously.

"I trust you," Tonks said, biting her lower lip. She wasn't sure why she was accepting all of this so easily. Probably because it made sense.

"What is important right now is how are you feeling? Did Malfoy harm you in any way? Do you need any medical attention?"

He barked the questions so fast that Tonks had to giggle. "I'm fine, really. I took control early on which didn't allow him a chance to get rough." Why was she lying to him? There was no reason to lie. Because the truth was she was the opposite of fine. But for some reason, she felt the need to seem in control in front of Severus.

She got a funny feeling that he knew she was lying. She stifled a yawn as he said, "I made a contraceptive potion for you." Gently he handed the vial to her, their hands lingering for a moment.

"Thank you," Tonks said softly. It was unnecessary, Tonks had gotten her own supply the day after Dumbledore came to her with the assignment. She was touched at the gesture, though.

Severus stood up and grabbed his coat. "There should be enough for three nights. I'll have another batch made soon." And with that, he was gone.

Tonks looked at the vial. It was a pretty rose color. Odd, she thought. Contraceptive potions are green. Then it hit her. This was Codsworth's Complete Contraceptive Control Potion. It was the only potion that was absolutely fail proof against pregnancy. It wasn't sold in stores because of the cost. The ingredients were very rare, plus it took twenty hours of labor to produce. And Severus had made some for her. She knew she had six hours after intercourse to take the potion so that it was effective.

Tonks poured one third of the vial into a cup that was on her nightstand. Quickly she swallowed the potion and she was surprised. The birth control potions she had in the past had tasted awful. This tasted almost like chocolate, it was very pleasant actually.

She wondered why she had decided to believe him so quickly. For all she knew, he could by lying to her, just like he was to you-know-who.

"I wonder how he was tortured," she said out loud, stripping naked. She stood in the middle of her room, naked for a moment. Slowly, she ran her hands down her stomach. It was almost like there was a greasy film over her skin. She grabbed a fresh towel and went to take another shower.