Summary: One of Xander's extended relations come for a visit. Unfortunately.
Crossover: D&D
Disclaimer: Hell yeah I don't own this!
Feedback: Please.
Pre-fic Comments:
Part of the reason that I'm writing more of this is because Alex DarkFire has promised to write something for me in return :)
Xander ran through the double doors. Giles looked up in annoyance.
"Xander, must you really," the Librarian began, before being interrupted.
"G-man! Giles! You gotta help me!," he panted.
"What seems to be the problem?," Giles asked. "Another supernatural amorous female?"
"What?," Xander asked blankly. "No, my great-great-great-to-infinity-grandpa came to visit! You've got to get Buffy to Slay him! He's evil!"
Giles smiled. This was going to be fun. "Xander, while I realise that as a young man we do not enjoy associating with older people, we must sometimes make sacrifices for peace and the greater good--"
"You don't understand," Xander interrupted again.
"Xander, your relatives are not my problem," Giles said simply, eyes narrowing.
"But he's a dead lick thingy!," Xander yelled at the Watcher. "He's a dead skeleton with funny clothes on! He wants /me/ to learn magic from him!"
"Oh," Giles said, quite taken aback. "Well. That does put another light on the matter. How did you manage to attract his attention?"
"I have no idea," Xander grumbled, sitting down morosely at the long table. "He walked into town and dragged me away from my hot dog stand by my ear."
"As you know, Buffy is not around to attempt to dispatch this lich," Giles reflected. "So you shall have to solve this using intelligence, rather than brute force. With any luck, we shall not sprain your cranium."
"Why is it always me?," Xander continued to complain. "Preying Mantis ladies, hyenas, man, I never get a break."
"Well, what do we know about liches in general?," Giles asked.
"Zip, zero, nada," Xander answered.
"They are effectively immortal," Giles thought out loud. "We will have to find his phylactery to disable him."
Xander leant back in his chair, ignoring the scowling Englishman, staring at the ceiling. He noticed a small black thing clinging to a light fitting.
"Giles? Did you get a pet bat or something?," he asked.
"Er, no," Giles blinked. He looked up. "Oh, dear."
"They eat books? They pee in tea cups? What?"
"It is quite possibly this lich's familiar," Giles said. A sinking feeling began to develop in Xander's stomach. "Meaning that he may have been listening to our conversation."
"Oh, /crap/," Xander muttered.
Tony Harris wiped some imaginary sweat off his brow as Granddad LaVelle abruptly walked out the door mid-conversation.
"Thank God he's gone," the man said. "Jessica, hand me that bottle of Beam."
"I thought we were saving it for tonight?," Jessica Harris wondered.
"After that, we need a stiff drink," Tony declared, taking a mouthful of whiskey then handing the bottle to his wife.
"What if we set him on fire?," Xander asked hopefully.
"No dice," Giles sighed. It was times like this he wished that he was allowed to store strong alcohol on school grounds.
"Hi, guys," Willow waved as she wandered into the library. "Hey, Giles, I came to return that book I borrowed."
"Thank you, Willow," Giles said, taking the book and putting it on the desk to sort out later. "You seem to have come at a bad time."
"I didn't do anything bad to cause this bad time, did I?," Willow asked. "Because that would be... bad..."
"One of my relatives came to visit," Xander explained from the table.
"Ouch," Willow empathised.
"A lich to be specific," Giles said. As the lich walked through the library doors, Giles added, "and here he is now."
"Boy!," the lich roared. "You're not getting out of this! One way or another, I'm training you in magic! You're not going to waste that potential with silly swords and crossbows!"
"Training?," Willow asked. "Magic training? Uh, can I learn, too?"
"We'll see," the lich said absently. He looked around, and his eyes locked on Giles' form. "Ripper!"
Giles winced, obviously wishing he had never left Britain.
"Ah, Ripper! Now, /you/ had potential but you pissed it away when you decided to join the Watchers..."
Giles straightened. "I have no regrets about giving it up!"
The lich managed to snort, somehow, despite having no nose. It turned back to Xander.
"Come on, boy, your first lesson is helping me summon my tower!"
"Hey, can I help?," Giles heard Willow asking as the three left, one unwillingly.
He locked his office and walked out the door as well. He needed a stiff drink after that.
Well, at least Buffy wasn't here. He could just see her getting electrocuted for rudeness.
Post-fic Comments:
Well, Alex DarkFire, write that fic!