"Why are we going to Madam Puddifoot's, Harry?" Tonks asked impatiently. It was Saturday afternoon. The weather had just started turning colder. Tonks had patrolled for most of the morning, and met up with Harry for lunch. "I really don't like that place, it's too girly!"
"We have to go now, we're already late," Harry said urgently.
"Who are you meeting?" Tonks asked.
"More like, who are we possible saving?" Harry said, quickening his stride. "I don't know if you could tell at all, but Ron really fancies Hermione. He promised himself that he would tell her today, at Madam Puddifoot's after lunch. We are either going to celebrate with them, or break up a really awkward situation,"
"Ahh…I thought Ron was mentioning her a lot," Tonks said. More cautiously, she added, "Are you alright with that?"
Harry stopped in his tracks and look straight at her, "I guess I hadn't thought about that. They're my best friends. I…I just want them to be happy."
They walked in silence until they reached the teashop. "Tonks, I can't go in there yet! Look in the window, are they still there?"
Tonks looked through the window. Ron and Hermione were sitting across from each other at a table in the back. She squinted, trying to see better, and saw they were holding hands across the table. Tonks sighed a breath of relief.
"We can go in now, Harry. They're holding hands."
Harry eyes bulged, "What? No way! He went to have a look. "Good for Ron," he whispered.
Ron and Hermione dropped hands as soon as they saw Harry walking over. Ron had a very sheepish grin on his face and Hermione was blushing furiously. Tonks giggled, they looked like they had been caught committing a crime. Harry sat down and slapped Ron on the back, which made Ron blush.
Tonks decided she didn't want to interrupt the friends. Their friendship was never going to be the same again. They had to find a new footing on their own. "It's time for me to patrol the streets again, making Hogsmeade a better place to be," she said sarcastically.
The trio waved goodbye and Tonks went outside. She walked for a while then came across a group of Slytherins boys pestering a young Hufflepuff. She walked over confidently, taking out her wand.
"Fine day we're having, isn't it boys?" She noticed that the leader of the group was her cousin, Draco Malfoy. She had heard that Barty Crouch, posing as Mad-Eye had turned him into a ferret. Fitting, she thought.
"What about it? None of your business who we talk to," Draco snapped.
The Hufflepuff girl looked to be a third or fourth year. "Why don't you move along?" Tonks asked her kindly. The girl looked at Tonks gratefully and walked briskly off.
"Bunch of big tough guys you are all, picking on a young girl. Must make you feel like real men," Tonks said menacingly. Suddenly she was furious. Here was another Malfoy picking on a woman and antagonizing her, it just wasn't right.
Draco stood up straight and looked at her. "What are you trying to say, mudblood?" His friends were right at his side. They were challenging her, and she was not about to back down.
"I thought you would be nicer to your own family, Draco. After all, our mothers are sisters," Draco flinched, and Tonks knew that he hadn't shared that information with his friends. "Must be hard to be related to a poor little mudblood like me."
Draco didn't say a word, but his friends started laughing. He shut them up with one look.
"If I see you boys ganging up on anyone else, you will be sorry, understand?"
Draco looked at her right in the eye. For moment, no one said anything, and Tonks and Draco just stared at each other. Finally, Draco turned quickly and walked away. His friends took a moment and then ran to catch up.
Tonks took a deep breath and realized she was shaking. She took her hand and ran it through her hair, which was straight and lime green today, and started walking. She was very upset with herself, having felt she just handled that situation poorly. Draco and his friends weren't the type to respond to threats. But that the same time, how else should could she deal with them? So she did what always made her feel a little better, she changed her hair. Scrunching her nose, her hair changed to her stand-by favorite, violet spikes. She looked to the left and saw that Draco was staring right at her with an expression on his face she didn't like at all. With a flourish, she turned the corner and kept on patrolling.
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Hours later, Tonks saw that the students were safely back at Hogwarts. Now it was time for her drink with Severus. She didn't know what to call it. Was it a date? Just a drink between two colleagues? Tonks knew eventually she would have to define the evening.
She knocked on the door to Severus' bedchamber. She could hear him walking to the door. Why was she nervous? The door opened. "Hello Tonks," Severus said.
"Hello! After spending all day in Hogsmeade with students, I'm really ready for that drink. I don't know how you do it everyday," she replied.
"Some days I don't know either," he said darkly. "The weather's fine, would you like to walk to The Three Broomsticks?"
"That would be lovely," Tonks said simply.
They walked in a companionable silence until they were out of Hogwarts. Tonks giggled to herself when she thought about what an unlikely pair they made. Severus was not in his formal potion masters outfit, but wearing a black robe with a forest green dress shirt and a pair of black trousers. It was the first time Tonks could ever remember seeing him wear another color other than black. And then there was Tonks in her dark purple robe, with yet another one of her Weird Sisters T-shirt and a pair of army green cargo pants. Her hair was still in violet spikes.
The pair quietly walked through Hogwarts' grounds. It was a beautiful evening out. The sun had just set and the stars had started to come out.
"So tomorrow's the day, huh?" she asked quietly.
"Yes, I believe there are going to be a few inductees. You will be introduced at the meeting. At the meeting after that, you will be given a task to prove your loyalty. If that is completed to the Dark Lord's satisfaction, you will be given the Dark Mark."
A sudden thought just occurred to her, "Severus, why do you call you-know-who the Dark Lord?"
Severus stopped walking and looked at her. "I have to," he said simply.
"Why?" she asked curiously.
"I'm not like you, Tonks. I don't have a 'Tonks' and a 'Celeste.' I just have myself. If I try to think of the Dark Lord as both the Dark Lord and you-know-who, eventually I will mess up and it would cost me my life. Much easier to just think of him as the Dark Lord."
They started walking again. "That does make sense to me, Severus." She paused, "Is being branded with the Dark Mark painful?"
He sighed. "Yes, it is. It's incredibly painful. It's considered another test of loyalty, that we're willing to endure such pain to serve him. Here's a tip, try not to reveal how much pain you are in. They'll respect you more."
She considered what he said. "Thank you. I guess I'm lucky than most, since I'll be able to morph mine away when I don't want to see it."
They had reached the edge of Hogsmeade. The streets were fairly empty for a Saturday evening. They didn't say another word until they walked into The Three Broomsticks. There were only a couple seats open, so Tonks went to sit down while Severus bought the drinks. She told him to surprise her when he asked what she would like. She was very pleased a few moments later when he sat down with two butterbeers.
"So I hear you've been convinced to help Harry with Occlumency again," she said after taking a sip of her drink.
Severus flinched. "I wasn't really given a choice," he said.
Tonks decided to be brave enough to ask the question utmost on her mind. "Why do you dislike Harry so much? I really don't understand it."
He took a long swallow of his drink, and said, "There are a lot of factors involved, Tonks, it's very complicated."
"Severus, either you tell me or you say it's none of my business. Don't sidestep the question."
He took a deep breath. "It's not so much Harry, as what Harry represents."
"I heard about your feud with James Potter from Sirius. Why are taking that out on Harry?" Tonks asked.
Severus' eyes flared, and Tonks knew he was getting angry. "I'm sure Sirius gave you a very accurate telling of what happened," he said sarcastically.
Tonks temper rose as well. "He's dead now, Severus, can't you let it go?"
Severus took a deep breath and Tonks could tell he was trying to calm himself. "Harry represents a life I could have had, a life I wanted desperately," he said, talking so softly that Tonks had to lean in to hear him.
"Ever since my fifth year, I was in love with Lily Evans, Harry's mother."
Whatever Tonks had expected Severus to say, it certainly wasn't that.
"I was in love with her the moment she stood up to James Potter when he and Sirius where tormenting me at school. However, I ruined any chance I had with her by calling her a mudblood while I was so upset with Potter's gang."
Tonks nodded encouragingly to him, wanting to hear what else he had to say. "I tried to be nice to her, but Lily wouldn't speak to me again. It was the hardest thing in the world watching her fall in love with Potter while I was still in love with her. I wanted to do something that would attract some attention to me, so I joined the Death Eaters. That was the wrong move," he laughed bitterly.
Tonks didn't trust herself to speak. She never knew that Severus could actually have emotions that run that deep. "By the time I realized what I had done, Potter and Lily were already married. I decided that I needed to at least make myself appear like a decent person to her. So I switched sides, offered my services to Dumbledore. I secretly hoped he would tell everyone in the Order how heroic I was, and that Lily wouldn't think of me as a total prat anymore. The Dark Lord killed her before she could be told what I had been doing."
She gently reached across the table and laid her hand on his. She felt awful for bringing this up. She had no idea what his true reason were, but she had expected something like "Because I hated his father," or some nonsense like that. Not this.
Severus grasped her hand like a lifeline. "I didn't have the happiest childhood, Tonks. From the time I was young, all I wanted was a family of my own, that I could love. All I think of when I see Harry is that he could have been my son, if I hadn't called Lily a mudblood that day."
She felt tears in her eyes. "I didn't know, Severus, I didn't know."
He let go of her hand and took a sip of his butter beer. "You are the first person besides Dumbledore that I've told," he said simply.
"Please don't worry, I will never share what you've said here tonight," she said earnestly.
Severus looked straight at her, "I know you won't," he said softly. "The reason I stopped teaching Harry was because he intruded on a very personal memory of mine, actually the very memory that I fell in love with Lily."
"Do you still love her?" Tonks asked.
"No, I don't. She's been dead for fifteen years now. I still value my memory of her, and I will probably always wonder 'what if?' But I'm not in love with her anymore."
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Tonks tried to think of what to say next, but every topic that crossed her mind seemed too trite after what Severus had just shared. Suddenly, she saw Severus' eyes grow wide and he grasped his left forearm.
"What, what's the matter?" Tonks asked urgently.
"The mark burns. I have to go, Tonks. I'm being summoned," Severus answered hoarsely. He stood up quickly and started towards the door. Tonks got up and followed him outside.
He looked at her, "Good night," he said, apparating quickly, leaving Tonks alone in the night.