~o~
She's angry at me, I can tell.
I've ruined her party, all because she came to check on me early.
Now mother has to come home from her meeting early.
I really didn't want to inconvenience anyone.
The doctors say it's from going on to anti-depressants at such a young age.
But I've been planning it since Sakura first looked at Yuki with those eyes. The ones I wanted her to look at me with. The ones that never will.
~o~
She's still angry at me. I know it.
She keeps glaring at me from her bed. I can't really blame her. If not for me, she'd be dead right now... And no matter how that sounds I mean that in the nicest way possible.
The doctors didn't want to let her go. She was still under observation, and her medication levels needed to be checked and rechecked. But Mrs. Daidouji is very good at convincing people to have her way, even over the phone.
So now I have to take care of Tomoyo personally. Until her mother gets home in a few hours. She's taking the first flight tonight, but even then, it'll be a while.
Rika was surprised that I called to cancel the party though. I couldn't tell her exactly why though, that's Tomoyo's secret. If she wants to tell her, that should be her choice.
I just can't get the image out of my head, Tomoyo sitting in the big hospital bed, thick cloth bandages around her wrists, stained with angry red lines where she... where she...
The worst part is telling Meiling... I keep looking at my cell phone. I even dial a few of the numbers, before I give up. I don't want to tell her not to come, but... Well, I'm going to be busy...
~o~
I force myself to speak, the portion of my mind that has to be a good hostess sliding into gear. Slowly though, I don't think I'm better yet.
"Thank you Naoko-chan." It's a little thing lie. Nothing worse then any other thing I've done over the past few years.
But she tilts her head as she looks at me. Looking through me almost, at the complex mask I've built up, right through the chink in my armor. "You wish I didn't find you that early, don't you?"
It's sudden, but the truth as I nod my head a little, "It'd just be easier, you know..."
She blinks, looking around my room, at the wonderful fabrics, the old designs, my video collections. I don't get to design much for Sakura, now that her adventures with the cards are over. "How long have you been taking Prozac though?"
I can tell she's changing the subject, she can tell. "For about 2 years now." But it's easier then thinking about why I might want to end my life. She's worried about something, nodding in her chair, trying to think of another conversation to have as she looks around her room.
She's already told Rika that the sleep over is canceled. She'll tell Chiharu, even though she won't know why. The only person left would be #5 on my speed dial.
Even as I reach for my cell phone. She might be a little upset, but she'll understand why best of all.
~o~
I've never seen Tomoyo's cell phone before. It's so pink and tiny though. She barely even seems to dial, before the words "Meiling" fall from her lips. To be truthful I'm a little relieved that she's telling her what happened. In full even.
I've been... tongue-tied around her lately. I just don't want to embarrass myself in front of her, nothing special. I have to make a good impression.
She's foreign.
She's angry at me, I can tell.
I've ruined her party, all because she came to check on me early.
Now mother has to come home from her meeting early.
I really didn't want to inconvenience anyone.
The doctors say it's from going on to anti-depressants at such a young age.
But I've been planning it since Sakura first looked at Yuki with those eyes. The ones I wanted her to look at me with. The ones that never will.
~o~
She's still angry at me. I know it.
She keeps glaring at me from her bed. I can't really blame her. If not for me, she'd be dead right now... And no matter how that sounds I mean that in the nicest way possible.
The doctors didn't want to let her go. She was still under observation, and her medication levels needed to be checked and rechecked. But Mrs. Daidouji is very good at convincing people to have her way, even over the phone.
So now I have to take care of Tomoyo personally. Until her mother gets home in a few hours. She's taking the first flight tonight, but even then, it'll be a while.
Rika was surprised that I called to cancel the party though. I couldn't tell her exactly why though, that's Tomoyo's secret. If she wants to tell her, that should be her choice.
I just can't get the image out of my head, Tomoyo sitting in the big hospital bed, thick cloth bandages around her wrists, stained with angry red lines where she... where she...
The worst part is telling Meiling... I keep looking at my cell phone. I even dial a few of the numbers, before I give up. I don't want to tell her not to come, but... Well, I'm going to be busy...
~o~
I force myself to speak, the portion of my mind that has to be a good hostess sliding into gear. Slowly though, I don't think I'm better yet.
"Thank you Naoko-chan." It's a little thing lie. Nothing worse then any other thing I've done over the past few years.
But she tilts her head as she looks at me. Looking through me almost, at the complex mask I've built up, right through the chink in my armor. "You wish I didn't find you that early, don't you?"
It's sudden, but the truth as I nod my head a little, "It'd just be easier, you know..."
She blinks, looking around my room, at the wonderful fabrics, the old designs, my video collections. I don't get to design much for Sakura, now that her adventures with the cards are over. "How long have you been taking Prozac though?"
I can tell she's changing the subject, she can tell. "For about 2 years now." But it's easier then thinking about why I might want to end my life. She's worried about something, nodding in her chair, trying to think of another conversation to have as she looks around her room.
She's already told Rika that the sleep over is canceled. She'll tell Chiharu, even though she won't know why. The only person left would be #5 on my speed dial.
Even as I reach for my cell phone. She might be a little upset, but she'll understand why best of all.
~o~
I've never seen Tomoyo's cell phone before. It's so pink and tiny though. She barely even seems to dial, before the words "Meiling" fall from her lips. To be truthful I'm a little relieved that she's telling her what happened. In full even.
I've been... tongue-tied around her lately. I just don't want to embarrass myself in front of her, nothing special. I have to make a good impression.
She's foreign.