"Dora?" she heard someone gently whisper.
"Mmm…sleeping," she told the voice.
"Dora, we have to get to Hogwarts," the voice said. Why wouldn't the voice go away?
Tonks opened her eyes and looked towards the voice. There she saw Severus lying besides her. The events of last night rushed back to her. She still felt awful, but she had made it through the night. Severus said that the first night was the hardest. Please let that be true!
"Hogwarts?" she asked sleepily.
"Yes, dear, Hogwarts. The place where I teach crazed teenagers all day and you roam the hall protecting them," Severus said with a smile on his face.
"Let's call in sick," Tonks said, closing her eyes.
"Call?" Severus looked puzzled.
Tonks groaned, knowing she had to get up. "Muggle term, don't feel like explaining."
Severus sat up. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.
Tonks sat up next to him, "Like hell," she admitted. "How many times did I wake you up last night?"
Tonks had nightmare after nightmare. Every time she woke up screaming, Severus was right there, holding her close, helping her get through the night.
"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you made it through the night," he said simply.
Tonks went and hugged him, "Thank you so much," she said softly.
As Severus put his arms around her, she found that she didn't want to let him go. "Thank you," she said again, into his neck. She felt his hands stroking her back.
"You're welcome," she heard him say.
Then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Tonks raised her head and kissed him softly on the lips. His lips were soft, and she could feel the day old stubble on his cheeks. She broke away from the kiss, wanting to see his response.
"Dora," he said hoarsely, before leaning in and kissing her again. She could feel his arms tightening around her. She opened her mouth and felt his tongue slip in, starting to explore. She held him tighter, moving her hands up his back, touching bare skin.
Tonks felt herself forgetting everything, everything but that moment, of Severus' lips on hers. Gently, she guided him on top of her, so that they were lying down. He started to kiss her neck, and she sighed.
Before she knew it, the moment was over. Quickly, Severus sat up and jumped out of bed. "Severus?" Tonks asked worriedly.
"We can't do this, Dora. Not now. We just can't," Severus said, not looking at her.
"Why not?" she asked. "We could die any day, Severus. Why should we deny ourselves something we both want?"
Severus turned and sat on the bed, taking her hands. "Dora," he said looking straight into her eyes, "I want to be with you more than anything in the world."
"But what?" Tonks asked, her eyes flashing dangerously.
"I can't be with you in that way while you're still sleeping with Malfoy. It would kill me inside, making love to you, then knowing you were going to go off and fuck Malfoy," he said, standing up quickly.
Tonks brought her knees up to her chest. She had never heard Severus use language like that. It frightened her to hear. She started rocking herself back and forth. "You're right," she whispered sadly. She didn't bother to brush away the tears that she felt forming.
"I'm sorry, Dora. I will be with you every step of the way, emotionally. But I can't be with you physically until you're done with Malfoy," Severus said as he started to dress.
Tonks wiped a tear from her cheek, hoping he wouldn't see. "And I don't know when this thing with Malfoy will end," she said softly.
Severus finished dressing in silence. Tonks didn't make any effort to leave her bed. When Severus was done dressing, he sat on the edge of her bed. "I will be pretending to place the Imperius Curse on you today, Dora."
Tonks felt like a bucket of ice water had been thrown on her. With everything that had happened, she had completely forgotten about the plan. In a few days she would be throwing Severus in Azkaban and here she was trying to kiss him. She had never felt more foolish.
She looked up at him. "I won't be using my full strength while placing the curse, so you will have no problem blocking it, just make it look good if I'm with Draco," he told her.
She nodded, still hugging her knees. "You better go," she said, "I'll see you at Hogwarts later."
Severus took one hand and brushed her cheek. Tonks moved her head away quickly, not wanting to have him touch her like that if there couldn't be more. She saw Severus' eyes widen at her rejection. He walked over to her fireplace and within moments was gone.
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Tonks walked through the hallways of Hogwarts as if in a daze. She kept waiting to feel the spell put on her. And she couldn't stop thinking about Severus. About the way he tasted, the way he felt. He had become the most important thing in her life and she couldn't be with him because of Lucius. Lucius was taking away everything good in her life. He made her kill for the first time. He raped her. Now she couldn't be with Severus because of him. She felt a hatred towards him unlike she had ever known.
Tonks looked around and found herself in the dungeons. Her temper started to flare when she suddenly felt light headed. All of her angry thoughts about Lucius disappeared.
Tonks stopped in her tracks. Come to me, she heard someone say.
Do you really want to? A voice in her head asked.
Come to me…
Nah, not this time, the voice said.
Tonks shook her head. She decided to make Draco sweat and not give the impression of being under the curse quite yet. Quickly she turned around and looked for Severus and Draco. She saw nothing. Hurriedly, she walked towards the staircase that led out of the dungeons.
Later, during lunch in the great Hall, she noticed that Draco wouldn't take his eyes off of her. Tonks tried to look at Severus, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. Fed up, she stormed out of the Great Hall down towards the transfiguration classroom.
Come to me…
All her frustrations were gone. There was only this wonderful floating feeling.
Come to me…
Go on then, a voice in her head said. Go on over. What are you waiting for?
Come to me…
You really shouldn't, another voice said. You'll just get in trouble.
Tonks woke from the trance then. She slowly turned and walked towards the voice. She had fought the spell, but had to act like she was still under the trance.
Severus and Draco walked out from behind a pillar. Draco looked at her and laughed. "Stupid mudblood."
"Malfoy, kindly remember that this 'stupid mudblood' is the key to the Dark Lord's plans," Severus said. "It is a position that deserves respect."
Crabbe and Goyle came out from the Great Hall. "Did it work?" one asked. Tonks didn't know or care which one.
"Crabbe, if it didn't work, we all would have been under arrest by now," Severus said lazily. "Let's take her to my classroom."
"Follow me," Severus said to her.
She obeyed and followed the group to the classroom. When the door was firmly shut, Draco asked, "Sir, so she really would do anything we want right now?"
"Anything I want, Malfoy," Severus corrected.
"Make her kiss me," Draco laughed. Crabbe and Goyle started chuckling.
Severus raised an eyebrow. "She is, if I'm correct, your cousin?"
Crabbe and Goyle started howling with laughter. Draco shut them up with a look. "I just wanted to know if she would do anything. Make her kiss Goyle then."
"Very well. Kiss Goyle, Tonks."
Tonks was able to suppress her shudder. She walked over to Goyle and looked at him like he was the only man in the world. She grabbed his shoulders and brought him in for a violent kiss. Crabbe started laughing, "Make her kiss me!"
"Gentlemen, you have classes to go to. Tomorrow, we'll get Potter and complete this. Now go."
Slowly, the three boys left the potions classroom. When the door was closed, Severus used the same silencing charm on the room that he had used last night.
"You think they bought it?" she asked him.
He nodded, "You're quite the actress. You almost made me believe you wanted to kiss Goyle," he said smiling.
Tonks giggled. "I can't believe Draco asked to kiss me."
Severus rolled his eyes. "He's young and hormonal. I'm sure he can't think of anything better than having a woman under his complete control."
She giggled again. "So tomorrow's the day then? Is there anyway to make sure Crabbe and Goyle aren't there? I'm not sure I can overpower all four of you."
"Don't worry, Dora. They won't be there."
"Good. It'll make things much easier," she said. A thought came to her, "Should we warn Harry?"
"There's really no need. Draco is going to stun him, he won't realize anything is wrong. It's probably easier for him to be surprised."
She nodded. "I better get back to patrol," she said quickly. Before she knew what she was doing, she walked over to Severus and gave him a brief kiss on the lips. When their lips parted, she walked purposely out of the room, not looking back.
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Tonks walked up to the owlery. She drew back the robe on her left arm. For a few minutes she stared at the Dark Mark that was burned into her forearm. When she had seen enough she morphed her arm to show bare skin.
Quietly she wrote a note on a piece of parchment. She took a school owl and attached the message to its leg. She stroked the tannish feathers and whispered, "Take this to Dumbledore."
The owl hooted and Tonks stared as it flew near the top of the castle. The note was very brief.
I'm in. – T.