AN: Addendum. Killing your self hurts you, the people who love you, the
people around you... the list goes on and on. Please, for the love of
anyone, don't think killing yourself is fun.
=.=
Diary,
I'd really like to say I was happy.
Mother is home, some of the guards are back now, and Naoko went home to get some sleep late last night. She'll probably be back later on today though. I'm sure she blames herself for what happened. Which is really bad because it's not her fault at all. I just don't know how to explain that to her.
It's Meiling I'm worried about right now though. I don't think she's slept more then a few minutes since she's gotten here. She's been watching me like a hawk since yesterday afternoon. It's almost a little disconcerting. It's worse because she really doesn't want to talk. The most conversation I've gotten out of her is a few non-committal grunts, and I think a nod of agreement.
I can't believe I missed so much though!
I mean, I know I was a little overly focused on Sakura before, but there's so much more going on around me then I ever imagined! My own house has more sexual tension the any soap opera! It still warms my heart to just close my eyes and think of Sakura, so I'm pretty sure I'm not falling for any one but...
Well, take the maid, Eimi. She's a little wierded out when I enter the room now, but it's so obvious that she has feelings for my bodyguard Kasumi. I can't believe I've never noticed it before!
It's actually a really nice set up, because Kasumi is getting a little lonely, and she's even starting to think she's getting old (which she isn't). I just have to figure out how to get them together without making it seem to obvious.
And the worst part is, I've been seeing it everywhere. Not on everyone mind you, but the red string of love fills my house, and no one is acting on it, probably because Mother is so... touchy about it.
Which is weird, because she really enjoys seeing people happy and in love.
---
"Oh Kero?"
"Okay Flower, you win. You kept Tomoyo from killing herself for now."
"That's all I wanted to hear. What do you think the Mistress will do when she finds out?"
"Well, Sakura is already having nightmares. Sayoran's mother is having them too from what I can tell. It'll really depend on when she can figure them out I guess."
"So, would you tell her the truth now? The whole thing I mean, not just the prophetic part."
"I still don't think she's ready... Would you really be at her age?"
---
I should be worried about getting shampoo in my eyes, but all I can think about is Tomoyo.
What would cause her to want to kill herself? Well, yeah, there is the thing she has with Sakura, but that wouldn't make a person want to kill themselves. Would it?
The water runs down my hair, getting into my mouth, but I can't stop feeling sorry for her. She even told me last night not to feel sorry for her, and I can't stop myself. I'm not even at her house anymore and I'm worried about her...
Probably because if it was me, I'd do it again.
And again.
Until I succeeded.
I saw how she reacted to the doctor when he said it was a side effect of her anti-depressants. She didn't believe it either.
But then later, she looked me in the eyes, and promised that she wouldn't try it again. And it was like she swore to me, and to anything watching that she wouldn't try again. No matter what happens.
That felt really good too. She trusted me enough to swear something like that.
Maybe we should do something today... Something different.
=.=
Diary,
I'd really like to say I was happy.
Mother is home, some of the guards are back now, and Naoko went home to get some sleep late last night. She'll probably be back later on today though. I'm sure she blames herself for what happened. Which is really bad because it's not her fault at all. I just don't know how to explain that to her.
It's Meiling I'm worried about right now though. I don't think she's slept more then a few minutes since she's gotten here. She's been watching me like a hawk since yesterday afternoon. It's almost a little disconcerting. It's worse because she really doesn't want to talk. The most conversation I've gotten out of her is a few non-committal grunts, and I think a nod of agreement.
I can't believe I missed so much though!
I mean, I know I was a little overly focused on Sakura before, but there's so much more going on around me then I ever imagined! My own house has more sexual tension the any soap opera! It still warms my heart to just close my eyes and think of Sakura, so I'm pretty sure I'm not falling for any one but...
Well, take the maid, Eimi. She's a little wierded out when I enter the room now, but it's so obvious that she has feelings for my bodyguard Kasumi. I can't believe I've never noticed it before!
It's actually a really nice set up, because Kasumi is getting a little lonely, and she's even starting to think she's getting old (which she isn't). I just have to figure out how to get them together without making it seem to obvious.
And the worst part is, I've been seeing it everywhere. Not on everyone mind you, but the red string of love fills my house, and no one is acting on it, probably because Mother is so... touchy about it.
Which is weird, because she really enjoys seeing people happy and in love.
---
"Oh Kero?"
"Okay Flower, you win. You kept Tomoyo from killing herself for now."
"That's all I wanted to hear. What do you think the Mistress will do when she finds out?"
"Well, Sakura is already having nightmares. Sayoran's mother is having them too from what I can tell. It'll really depend on when she can figure them out I guess."
"So, would you tell her the truth now? The whole thing I mean, not just the prophetic part."
"I still don't think she's ready... Would you really be at her age?"
---
I should be worried about getting shampoo in my eyes, but all I can think about is Tomoyo.
What would cause her to want to kill herself? Well, yeah, there is the thing she has with Sakura, but that wouldn't make a person want to kill themselves. Would it?
The water runs down my hair, getting into my mouth, but I can't stop feeling sorry for her. She even told me last night not to feel sorry for her, and I can't stop myself. I'm not even at her house anymore and I'm worried about her...
Probably because if it was me, I'd do it again.
And again.
Until I succeeded.
I saw how she reacted to the doctor when he said it was a side effect of her anti-depressants. She didn't believe it either.
But then later, she looked me in the eyes, and promised that she wouldn't try it again. And it was like she swore to me, and to anything watching that she wouldn't try again. No matter what happens.
That felt really good too. She trusted me enough to swear something like that.
Maybe we should do something today... Something different.