A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Here's chapter 5.
****
Emerald Flame
Chapter 5
****
****Draco's POV****
The days up to the Hogsmede trip went by pretty quietly. I caught up with my school work and started to going to meals again, so Hermione didn't have any reason to bother me. I kind of missed her. At one point I even thought about skipping dinner so she'd come see me, but I shoved the thought out of my mind almost immediately. We were still in rival houses. It doesn't matter if my house wishes I was out. I myself wish I was out of Slytherin, but we can't do anything about it now can we?
I wasn't really looking forward to the Hogsmede trip. I had enough money to buy stuff from the shops, but when you don't have any friends to go with it really puts a damper on the whole experience. I was trying to decide whether I was going to stay in the huge, empty castle or go to with the other brainless students. I was still trying to decide when I was heading back to the Common Room on the day before we were to go. Nobody looked at me when I walked in and sat in the darkest corner of the room. I was used to it. I actually kind of liked being invisible. No one cared if you messed up. I just kind of sat there and watched the other students talking, writing, reading and whatever else. They didn't notice me, I had shifted into a position where the shadows hid my face. Hermione and Potter walked in after half an hour and they sat down in a couch close to where I was sitting. They started talking quietly to each other and eventually I got curious so I inched forward so I could hear them a little bit better.
"Are you going to go to Hogsmede, Hermione?" Potter was asking, "I mean, I know you don't want to be near Ron but I might need your help."
"Just relax Harry," Hermione smiled at him, "But no, I'm not going to go."
"Please?"
"No! I have to catch up on my reading anyway."
"Fine…But this means you have to come on the trip after this one."
"Deal."
They shook hands and Potter got up and went to his room. Hermione didn't get up and go to her room though, she just pulled her legs up and lay sideways on the couch with her arm under her head. She sat staring into the fire that the room really didn't need and didn't make a sound. I got up from my spot and got up to go to my room. I still had homework to finish.
****Hermione's POV***
I don't remember falling asleep on the couch, but at one point I did. I woke only when I heard a door close. I picked up my head and looked at the direction the sound came from. Draco had just come out of his room and was now leaning against the wall staring at me.
"Have a nice rest Sleeping Beauty?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"What time is it?" I asked groggily, sitting up straight and moving my arm, trying to get rid of the annoying tingling feeling.
"Past midnight," Draco answered.
"So what are you doing up?" I asked him when the tingling feeling in my arm went away.
"I can't sleep much these days," He muttered, suddenly finding a great interest in his feet. I nodded and got up, nearly falling back down when my vision clouded with black. I forced myself to stay upright and started to look around for my bag.
"Potter took it to your room," Draco said when he saw me looking around.
"Can't you call him Harry?" I asked him.
"Just because I can get over six-and-a-half years of hate in your case doesn't mean I can do it with everyone else," He smirked.
"Please?" I looked at him with what I hoped was a pleading look.
"I'll think about it," He said, nodding and pushing off from the wall.
"I was going to go get a butterbeer from the kitchens," He said, walking backwards towards the portrait entrance, "Since you're up, d'you want one?"
"Um…Sure," I sat back down while he walked out of the Common Room. He returned half an hour later with a smug smirk on his face and two butterbeers in his pocket.
"What're you so happy about?" I asked as he handed me one.
"I got caught and lost fifty points for Slytherin and I also got banned from going to Hogsmede this weekend," He answered as he sat down next to me.
"That's not something to be happy about."
"I hate the all Slytherins and I wasn't going to go to Hogsmede tomorrow anyway."
"You can't hate -all- Slytherins. -You're- a Slytherin."
"Exactly."
"Wait," I looked over at him, "You're not saying…"
He looked sideways at me.
"Oh crap," He moaned, "You're going to try and cheer me up now, aren't you?"
"No," I turned and looked at the fire, "Why would you think that?"
He reached out and grabbed my face, turning it so he could look into my eyes.
"You were going to," He said, letting me go. I reached up and rubbed my face. In all truth, it hadn't hurt, it just surprised me.
"Well what do you expect me to do?" I asked angrily.
"Pity me from a distance."
"Well why pity you for a distance when I could pity you to your face?"
"Why pity me at all?"
"Why make reasons for people to pity you at all?"
"If you haven't noticed, I didn't choose to get the crap beat out of me."
I closed my mouth and he raised his eyebrows.
"Did I win that one?" He asked with a smirk on his face.
I got up abruptly and thrust the half-drunken butterbeer at him.
"Goodnight Draco," I said sharply, turning and walking to my room.
"Goodnight Hermione," He called back to me. I closed the door and went to bed. Even if I wasn't going to Hogsmede I still wanted to get up early so I could study. And so I could wake Draco up excruciatingly early to get him back for the smart comments.
****Draco's POV****
I didn't break eye contact with Hermione until she shut the door. After that I just stared into the fire and finished off her butterbeer. When I was done with it I threw the glass bottle into the fire. I smiled when I heard the crash against the stone. Pieces of glass flew forward onto the rug in front of the fire and I leaned forward and started to pick them up. I picked up the other butterbeer bottle and walked back to my room to throw them away. I tossed the butterbeer first and then started to pick the pieces of glass out of my palm one by one and threw them in the wastebasket. I cut myself on the last piece when I picked it up and held it up instead of throwing it away. I crossed over to my bed and sat down, watching the crimson blood flow down my fingers and spread into my palm. I smiled grimly and clutched the piece of glass tightly in my fist, feeling it cut even deeper into my hand. I unclenched my fist again and watched the blood flow even quicker. I picked the piece of glass out with my other hand and tossed it into the trash can. I looked back down at my hand for a second. I thought about healing it but another voice clouded over it and I just set my wand on my nightstand and hung my bleeding hand over the side of my bed while I laid down and fell asleep.
****Hermione's POV****
I woke up at 10:00 in the morning. It was early enough. Everyone who was going to Hogsmede was already gone but I was nearly certain that Draco would still be asleep. I quickly got dressed and went out into the Common Room. It was empty, of course. I crossed over to Draco's room and slowly opened the door. I quietly walked in and stopped dead when I saw him sleeping on the bed. One of his hands was hanging over the side of the bed with semi-dried blood running down his arm and staining the floor. I quietly walked across the carpet and crouched down in front of his hand, looking the wound over. It was actually five different cuts. There was one on every finger and then one that ran across his palm and went halfway up his thumb. It was old, but not terribly old. It looked like the blood had stopped flowing only a few hours ago.
Draco suddenly raised his head and looked at me sharply. I stood up and took a few steps back. He sat up and glared at me. He curled his hand into a fist and then grimaced as the wound broke again and started to bleed.
"What are you doing in here?" He asked in a low voice.
"What'd you do to your hand?" I asked instead of answering him.
He sighed and got up. I watched him as he went into the bathroom and started to clean out the cut. I walked to the door and looked at his hand .
"What'd you do to your hand?" I repeated after he had cleaned it and stopped most of the bleeding.
"Nothing…" He muttered, shoving past me and sitting down on the edge of his bed.
"Apparently you did something," I told him, following him and standing a good four feet away from him.
"Why do you care?" He said fiercely, standing up and looking coldly at me.
"Because…." I thought about it for a second, "Because…."
"Don't you dare say because of pity," He whispered coldly.
"I wasn't…" I said, taking a step back.
"Just get out!" He yelled pointing his finger at the door.
I took another step back.
"Not until you tell me what you did to your hand," I said determinedly, taking yet another step back.
His lip curled and I nearly started to tremble from the look of cold fury etched on his face. I took another step back and bumped into the trashcan. I looked down in surprise and glanced over the contents. There was only one butterbeer bottle in it as well as dozens of shards of glass littered around it. One was stained with a faded brown color….I quickly put things together in my mind and turned to look back at Draco.
"You cut -yourself-?" I gasped.
He opened his mouth to argue I think, but he stop halfway through it and dropped his hand to his side. Then his knees buckled underneath him and he fell to the ground, clutching his temples with the heels of his hands. I took a step forward and dropped down by his side, putting a hand cautiously on his back.
"Why'd you do it?" I asked him softly.
"That's just it," He muttered, staring intently at the floor, "I didn't…I didn't -mean- to…I didn't…I didn't -want- to…I just -did-…"
I started to subconsciously rub his back slightly.
He laughed hollowly.
"Maybe I'm becoming Dobby…." He muttered grimly.
I smiled weakly.
"He only hurts himself when he's done something wrong though, and you haven't done anything wrong…"
"Yes I have, Hermione," He looked up at me, his eyes full of sorrow, "I've done terrible things."
"No," I told him, "No, you haven't."
"Yes I have!" He turned and grabbed me by the shoulders, "That's what no one understands! I have!"
"Like what?" I asked, searching his silver eyes.
"I nearly became a Death Eater," He said softly, "I talked to Voldemort himself…"
"Nearly?" I asked him.
"I…I didn't want…I couldn't…I…I just couldn't…I didn't want to kill…I didn't want…I didn't want to live that way…But Father…"
"He…Is that why he…" I reached up and touched one of the scars on his face lightly instead of finishing the sentence.
Draco closed his eyes and his face screwed up slightly. It looked like he was trying as hard as he could not to cry.
"Yes," he said finally, his shoulders shaking slightly. He let a single tear escape and slide down his cheek before he dropped his head. I looked at him in slight disbelief for a while as he cried silently before I pulled him close and held him, rocking slightly in the silence of the dorm room.
****Draco's POV****
It felt good to finally let it out. To finally tell someone what had happened felt like I was lifting a great weight off my shoulders. I let the tears fall freely, I didn't care anymore. I just didn't care. I let her hold me for a minute before I wrapped my arms around her in return. A small voice in the back of my head told me it was wrong. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin hugging. A pureblood who was raised to hate Muggleborns sitting there with one held tightly in his arms. Nearly friends. Maybe already friends. I didn't care about the voice anymore.
A/N: Okay, chapter 5. I would've updated earlier, but my cousins have been over for a long while and I just started high school (oh joy…). Hope you like. If you do, review. C'mon…You know you want to….Chapter six coming soon.
****
Emerald Flame
Chapter 5
****
****Draco's POV****
The days up to the Hogsmede trip went by pretty quietly. I caught up with my school work and started to going to meals again, so Hermione didn't have any reason to bother me. I kind of missed her. At one point I even thought about skipping dinner so she'd come see me, but I shoved the thought out of my mind almost immediately. We were still in rival houses. It doesn't matter if my house wishes I was out. I myself wish I was out of Slytherin, but we can't do anything about it now can we?
I wasn't really looking forward to the Hogsmede trip. I had enough money to buy stuff from the shops, but when you don't have any friends to go with it really puts a damper on the whole experience. I was trying to decide whether I was going to stay in the huge, empty castle or go to with the other brainless students. I was still trying to decide when I was heading back to the Common Room on the day before we were to go. Nobody looked at me when I walked in and sat in the darkest corner of the room. I was used to it. I actually kind of liked being invisible. No one cared if you messed up. I just kind of sat there and watched the other students talking, writing, reading and whatever else. They didn't notice me, I had shifted into a position where the shadows hid my face. Hermione and Potter walked in after half an hour and they sat down in a couch close to where I was sitting. They started talking quietly to each other and eventually I got curious so I inched forward so I could hear them a little bit better.
"Are you going to go to Hogsmede, Hermione?" Potter was asking, "I mean, I know you don't want to be near Ron but I might need your help."
"Just relax Harry," Hermione smiled at him, "But no, I'm not going to go."
"Please?"
"No! I have to catch up on my reading anyway."
"Fine…But this means you have to come on the trip after this one."
"Deal."
They shook hands and Potter got up and went to his room. Hermione didn't get up and go to her room though, she just pulled her legs up and lay sideways on the couch with her arm under her head. She sat staring into the fire that the room really didn't need and didn't make a sound. I got up from my spot and got up to go to my room. I still had homework to finish.
****Hermione's POV***
I don't remember falling asleep on the couch, but at one point I did. I woke only when I heard a door close. I picked up my head and looked at the direction the sound came from. Draco had just come out of his room and was now leaning against the wall staring at me.
"Have a nice rest Sleeping Beauty?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"What time is it?" I asked groggily, sitting up straight and moving my arm, trying to get rid of the annoying tingling feeling.
"Past midnight," Draco answered.
"So what are you doing up?" I asked him when the tingling feeling in my arm went away.
"I can't sleep much these days," He muttered, suddenly finding a great interest in his feet. I nodded and got up, nearly falling back down when my vision clouded with black. I forced myself to stay upright and started to look around for my bag.
"Potter took it to your room," Draco said when he saw me looking around.
"Can't you call him Harry?" I asked him.
"Just because I can get over six-and-a-half years of hate in your case doesn't mean I can do it with everyone else," He smirked.
"Please?" I looked at him with what I hoped was a pleading look.
"I'll think about it," He said, nodding and pushing off from the wall.
"I was going to go get a butterbeer from the kitchens," He said, walking backwards towards the portrait entrance, "Since you're up, d'you want one?"
"Um…Sure," I sat back down while he walked out of the Common Room. He returned half an hour later with a smug smirk on his face and two butterbeers in his pocket.
"What're you so happy about?" I asked as he handed me one.
"I got caught and lost fifty points for Slytherin and I also got banned from going to Hogsmede this weekend," He answered as he sat down next to me.
"That's not something to be happy about."
"I hate the all Slytherins and I wasn't going to go to Hogsmede tomorrow anyway."
"You can't hate -all- Slytherins. -You're- a Slytherin."
"Exactly."
"Wait," I looked over at him, "You're not saying…"
He looked sideways at me.
"Oh crap," He moaned, "You're going to try and cheer me up now, aren't you?"
"No," I turned and looked at the fire, "Why would you think that?"
He reached out and grabbed my face, turning it so he could look into my eyes.
"You were going to," He said, letting me go. I reached up and rubbed my face. In all truth, it hadn't hurt, it just surprised me.
"Well what do you expect me to do?" I asked angrily.
"Pity me from a distance."
"Well why pity you for a distance when I could pity you to your face?"
"Why pity me at all?"
"Why make reasons for people to pity you at all?"
"If you haven't noticed, I didn't choose to get the crap beat out of me."
I closed my mouth and he raised his eyebrows.
"Did I win that one?" He asked with a smirk on his face.
I got up abruptly and thrust the half-drunken butterbeer at him.
"Goodnight Draco," I said sharply, turning and walking to my room.
"Goodnight Hermione," He called back to me. I closed the door and went to bed. Even if I wasn't going to Hogsmede I still wanted to get up early so I could study. And so I could wake Draco up excruciatingly early to get him back for the smart comments.
****Draco's POV****
I didn't break eye contact with Hermione until she shut the door. After that I just stared into the fire and finished off her butterbeer. When I was done with it I threw the glass bottle into the fire. I smiled when I heard the crash against the stone. Pieces of glass flew forward onto the rug in front of the fire and I leaned forward and started to pick them up. I picked up the other butterbeer bottle and walked back to my room to throw them away. I tossed the butterbeer first and then started to pick the pieces of glass out of my palm one by one and threw them in the wastebasket. I cut myself on the last piece when I picked it up and held it up instead of throwing it away. I crossed over to my bed and sat down, watching the crimson blood flow down my fingers and spread into my palm. I smiled grimly and clutched the piece of glass tightly in my fist, feeling it cut even deeper into my hand. I unclenched my fist again and watched the blood flow even quicker. I picked the piece of glass out with my other hand and tossed it into the trash can. I looked back down at my hand for a second. I thought about healing it but another voice clouded over it and I just set my wand on my nightstand and hung my bleeding hand over the side of my bed while I laid down and fell asleep.
****Hermione's POV****
I woke up at 10:00 in the morning. It was early enough. Everyone who was going to Hogsmede was already gone but I was nearly certain that Draco would still be asleep. I quickly got dressed and went out into the Common Room. It was empty, of course. I crossed over to Draco's room and slowly opened the door. I quietly walked in and stopped dead when I saw him sleeping on the bed. One of his hands was hanging over the side of the bed with semi-dried blood running down his arm and staining the floor. I quietly walked across the carpet and crouched down in front of his hand, looking the wound over. It was actually five different cuts. There was one on every finger and then one that ran across his palm and went halfway up his thumb. It was old, but not terribly old. It looked like the blood had stopped flowing only a few hours ago.
Draco suddenly raised his head and looked at me sharply. I stood up and took a few steps back. He sat up and glared at me. He curled his hand into a fist and then grimaced as the wound broke again and started to bleed.
"What are you doing in here?" He asked in a low voice.
"What'd you do to your hand?" I asked instead of answering him.
He sighed and got up. I watched him as he went into the bathroom and started to clean out the cut. I walked to the door and looked at his hand .
"What'd you do to your hand?" I repeated after he had cleaned it and stopped most of the bleeding.
"Nothing…" He muttered, shoving past me and sitting down on the edge of his bed.
"Apparently you did something," I told him, following him and standing a good four feet away from him.
"Why do you care?" He said fiercely, standing up and looking coldly at me.
"Because…." I thought about it for a second, "Because…."
"Don't you dare say because of pity," He whispered coldly.
"I wasn't…" I said, taking a step back.
"Just get out!" He yelled pointing his finger at the door.
I took another step back.
"Not until you tell me what you did to your hand," I said determinedly, taking yet another step back.
His lip curled and I nearly started to tremble from the look of cold fury etched on his face. I took another step back and bumped into the trashcan. I looked down in surprise and glanced over the contents. There was only one butterbeer bottle in it as well as dozens of shards of glass littered around it. One was stained with a faded brown color….I quickly put things together in my mind and turned to look back at Draco.
"You cut -yourself-?" I gasped.
He opened his mouth to argue I think, but he stop halfway through it and dropped his hand to his side. Then his knees buckled underneath him and he fell to the ground, clutching his temples with the heels of his hands. I took a step forward and dropped down by his side, putting a hand cautiously on his back.
"Why'd you do it?" I asked him softly.
"That's just it," He muttered, staring intently at the floor, "I didn't…I didn't -mean- to…I didn't…I didn't -want- to…I just -did-…"
I started to subconsciously rub his back slightly.
He laughed hollowly.
"Maybe I'm becoming Dobby…." He muttered grimly.
I smiled weakly.
"He only hurts himself when he's done something wrong though, and you haven't done anything wrong…"
"Yes I have, Hermione," He looked up at me, his eyes full of sorrow, "I've done terrible things."
"No," I told him, "No, you haven't."
"Yes I have!" He turned and grabbed me by the shoulders, "That's what no one understands! I have!"
"Like what?" I asked, searching his silver eyes.
"I nearly became a Death Eater," He said softly, "I talked to Voldemort himself…"
"Nearly?" I asked him.
"I…I didn't want…I couldn't…I…I just couldn't…I didn't want to kill…I didn't want…I didn't want to live that way…But Father…"
"He…Is that why he…" I reached up and touched one of the scars on his face lightly instead of finishing the sentence.
Draco closed his eyes and his face screwed up slightly. It looked like he was trying as hard as he could not to cry.
"Yes," he said finally, his shoulders shaking slightly. He let a single tear escape and slide down his cheek before he dropped his head. I looked at him in slight disbelief for a while as he cried silently before I pulled him close and held him, rocking slightly in the silence of the dorm room.
****Draco's POV****
It felt good to finally let it out. To finally tell someone what had happened felt like I was lifting a great weight off my shoulders. I let the tears fall freely, I didn't care anymore. I just didn't care. I let her hold me for a minute before I wrapped my arms around her in return. A small voice in the back of my head told me it was wrong. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin hugging. A pureblood who was raised to hate Muggleborns sitting there with one held tightly in his arms. Nearly friends. Maybe already friends. I didn't care about the voice anymore.
A/N: Okay, chapter 5. I would've updated earlier, but my cousins have been over for a long while and I just started high school (oh joy…). Hope you like. If you do, review. C'mon…You know you want to….Chapter six coming soon.