V. The Amusement Park
"You two have fun," Hermione said, giving Ron a small kiss on the cheek. "Luna and I will just take the kids for ice cream. Meet us at the MagiCream when you're done."
"See you in a bit, then," Harry said, smiling at his wife, and patting his daughter's long, blond hair.
It was a rather bizarre tradition, but one that Harry and Ron had grown to enjoy. It was funny when you thought about it, Harry thought. You could actually tell the muggles all about the existence of the magical world, you could introduce yourself to them, you could even actually perform magic for them, and they'd go out of their way to convince themselves it was all fiction. Of course, Harry hadn't intended to expose the wizarding world like he had. In the beginning, it had been a terrible mess, and he'd been in a lot of trouble with the Ministry. Now, however, they'd actually given him a commendation. Who would ever believe in something that had been revealed in a series of children's books?
Harry hadn't actually intended to tell the muggle woman his story. To tell the truth, he'd been a bit drunk. That was back before Harry Junior was born, when he and Luna had been going through a rough patch. He'd seen the pretty muggle woman in a bar, and had tried to impress her by telling her he was the one who'd overcome the Dark Wizard Voldemort. He'd shown her his scar, even. Of course, she'd had no idea who Voldemort was, and the next thing he knew he'd told her the whole story and signed some kind of contract about royalties and percentages.
The books had done famously, of course. The muggle woman had taken some liberties with the story, of course (him and Cho Chang? Cho only wished!), and Harry thought his literary self to be a bit dim-witted sometimes, but overall, it had been excellent. Then came all the movies, the onslaught of toys, the video games, the Harry Potter clothing line, the 'Hogwarts Stories' television series, and finally, the "Harry Potter Adventure!" parks. He and Ron had brought their families here every year since the first one was built. It was perhaps a bit narcissistic, Harry conceded. He blushed every time they walked past the giant inflatable Harry that stood over the entrance.
They went on the rides in an order that bordered on ritual. First thing, it was the Basilisk, a giant rollercoaster made to look like a snake with glowing yellow eyes that ran along tracks made to look like pipes. Harry Junior always flicked spitballs at the giant plastic Tom Riddle near the end of the ride. Then they went on the Magical Carousel, where Ron and Hermione's daughter Marianne always cried if she didn't get to sit on the hippogriff. Then they got snacks from The Potion Parlor, a little snack-shop that sold funnel cakes and chips in black plastic cauldrons. Then came the Philosopher's Stone Hunt (a kind of ride through giant animatronic imitations of the obstacles they'd overcome to find the stone), Rubeus Hagrid's Giant Bash!, and Harry Junior's favorite, the Quidditch Pitch. By then they were hot, so it was off to the Triwizard Adventure, where the coaster took them through imitations of the Triwizard cup obstacles, including a nice, big splash into an artificial lake. Then it was lunch at an imitation Leaky Cauldron, some games and souvenir buying on 'Diagon Alley', and then Harry and Ron's favorite: The Death Eaters' Cave.
The Death Eaters' Cave was the Harry Potter Adventure!'s answer to a haunted house. They had even helped to design it. The muggle woman had brought them in as consultants to describe the appearance of the various Death Eaters so that it could be as realistically scary as possible. Unfortunately, Marianne invariable screamed bloody murder whenever they rode it, and Harry Junior thought it was boring, so Harry and Ron always went alone.
They strapped themselves into the front car, designed to look old and rickety. They had VIP passes, so it was never any trouble getting the front car if they wanted it. Harry and Ron grinned. This was the best.
The car set off with a moan. It passed through a pair of giant wooden doors, a sign above them saying "Abandon All Hope!" The group of teenage muggles behind them tittered. The first part of the ride was a model Azkaban. Air conditioners kept it chilly year-round, and loudspeakers hidden behind Styrofoam rocks played the sounds of distant screams, crazy mumbling, and angry railing against the Ministry. As dementors swooped around the car, the muggles behind them screamed. Harry laughed as Ron waved at a dementor. The next was an imitation of Malfoy manor, where horrible torture chambers and scary magical devices surrounded them. Death Eaters dropped down around the car, setting off more screams from the muggles and laughter from Harry and Ron.
Eerie music began to play as the car passed into the next room. This one was a model of the graveyard where Voldemort had risen again. A bright green light flashed when you first entered the room. An animatronic body lay on the ground (Harry always averted his gaze). Then, the voice of Voldemort giving orders to Wormtail was played out of a loudspeaker, and lights flared on a model of Harry, tied to the tombstone. More lights flared, and an animatronic Wormtail cut off its own hand to the accompaniment of a terrific scream. Plastic Death Eaters, complete with hoods, popped up out of the ground, as though they had apparated there, and a poof of smoke went off, lighting up a giant Dark Mark. It was made of neon lights, of course, but still a nice effect.
This was the part Harry and Ron were most proud of. After the Dark Mark flared, two great doors opened, and you were faced with a giant model of Voldemort's head, biting down on the track. The cart raced toward it, and its jaws opened enough to admit the guests, but, just as you passed below it, the car froze, and, with the sound of high, cold laughter playing in the background, the jaws swept downward as though about to bite the car. Invariably, the muggles were terrified, screaming and shaking.
Harry listened to the titters and "aah"s of appreciation behind him as they approached the head. Its jaws opened, and a few muggles let out grateful shrieks. Then, with the choreographed squeal and lurch, the car jerked to a halt under Voldemort's pointed teeth.
There was a creak above them. The music began to crescendo menacingly.
"Come on!" yelled a muggle boy behind Harry.
"What is it, broken?" yelled another.
"It's part of the ride," a girl shouted.
Harry and Ron smiled.
"Hurry up!" shouted one of the muggle boys. He tossed something up into the metal work. It made a loud "ping!" and a shower of sparks fell over the front of the car.
"HEY!" yelled Ron over the music. "Knock it off!"
But his shout was lost as more muggles cheered and began to throw things at the giant teeth.
"We aren't afraid of you, Voldie!" yelled a girl.
"Yeah! Take that, snake-eyes!" shouted a boy. A barrage of garbage and small items smashed into the electronics above them.
The teeth began their downward swoop, sending off the usual appreciative shrieks of terror. One last muggle tossed an empty drinks can at the giant, leering face of Voldemort. It struck a lever somewhere. A great creak filled the room.
The muggles fell silent. "Uh-oh," Ron murmured.
The creak echoed again. The teeth had finished their downward journey, but the car hadn't begun to move again. Harry looked upward. The teeth were shaking slightly back and forth. Then, they began to fall.
Harry looked at Ron. He had just enough time to say, "Now this is what I call ironic," before the giant, robotic Lord Voldemort bit them both in half.
"You two have fun," Hermione said, giving Ron a small kiss on the cheek. "Luna and I will just take the kids for ice cream. Meet us at the MagiCream when you're done."
"See you in a bit, then," Harry said, smiling at his wife, and patting his daughter's long, blond hair.
It was a rather bizarre tradition, but one that Harry and Ron had grown to enjoy. It was funny when you thought about it, Harry thought. You could actually tell the muggles all about the existence of the magical world, you could introduce yourself to them, you could even actually perform magic for them, and they'd go out of their way to convince themselves it was all fiction. Of course, Harry hadn't intended to expose the wizarding world like he had. In the beginning, it had been a terrible mess, and he'd been in a lot of trouble with the Ministry. Now, however, they'd actually given him a commendation. Who would ever believe in something that had been revealed in a series of children's books?
Harry hadn't actually intended to tell the muggle woman his story. To tell the truth, he'd been a bit drunk. That was back before Harry Junior was born, when he and Luna had been going through a rough patch. He'd seen the pretty muggle woman in a bar, and had tried to impress her by telling her he was the one who'd overcome the Dark Wizard Voldemort. He'd shown her his scar, even. Of course, she'd had no idea who Voldemort was, and the next thing he knew he'd told her the whole story and signed some kind of contract about royalties and percentages.
The books had done famously, of course. The muggle woman had taken some liberties with the story, of course (him and Cho Chang? Cho only wished!), and Harry thought his literary self to be a bit dim-witted sometimes, but overall, it had been excellent. Then came all the movies, the onslaught of toys, the video games, the Harry Potter clothing line, the 'Hogwarts Stories' television series, and finally, the "Harry Potter Adventure!" parks. He and Ron had brought their families here every year since the first one was built. It was perhaps a bit narcissistic, Harry conceded. He blushed every time they walked past the giant inflatable Harry that stood over the entrance.
They went on the rides in an order that bordered on ritual. First thing, it was the Basilisk, a giant rollercoaster made to look like a snake with glowing yellow eyes that ran along tracks made to look like pipes. Harry Junior always flicked spitballs at the giant plastic Tom Riddle near the end of the ride. Then they went on the Magical Carousel, where Ron and Hermione's daughter Marianne always cried if she didn't get to sit on the hippogriff. Then they got snacks from The Potion Parlor, a little snack-shop that sold funnel cakes and chips in black plastic cauldrons. Then came the Philosopher's Stone Hunt (a kind of ride through giant animatronic imitations of the obstacles they'd overcome to find the stone), Rubeus Hagrid's Giant Bash!, and Harry Junior's favorite, the Quidditch Pitch. By then they were hot, so it was off to the Triwizard Adventure, where the coaster took them through imitations of the Triwizard cup obstacles, including a nice, big splash into an artificial lake. Then it was lunch at an imitation Leaky Cauldron, some games and souvenir buying on 'Diagon Alley', and then Harry and Ron's favorite: The Death Eaters' Cave.
The Death Eaters' Cave was the Harry Potter Adventure!'s answer to a haunted house. They had even helped to design it. The muggle woman had brought them in as consultants to describe the appearance of the various Death Eaters so that it could be as realistically scary as possible. Unfortunately, Marianne invariable screamed bloody murder whenever they rode it, and Harry Junior thought it was boring, so Harry and Ron always went alone.
They strapped themselves into the front car, designed to look old and rickety. They had VIP passes, so it was never any trouble getting the front car if they wanted it. Harry and Ron grinned. This was the best.
The car set off with a moan. It passed through a pair of giant wooden doors, a sign above them saying "Abandon All Hope!" The group of teenage muggles behind them tittered. The first part of the ride was a model Azkaban. Air conditioners kept it chilly year-round, and loudspeakers hidden behind Styrofoam rocks played the sounds of distant screams, crazy mumbling, and angry railing against the Ministry. As dementors swooped around the car, the muggles behind them screamed. Harry laughed as Ron waved at a dementor. The next was an imitation of Malfoy manor, where horrible torture chambers and scary magical devices surrounded them. Death Eaters dropped down around the car, setting off more screams from the muggles and laughter from Harry and Ron.
Eerie music began to play as the car passed into the next room. This one was a model of the graveyard where Voldemort had risen again. A bright green light flashed when you first entered the room. An animatronic body lay on the ground (Harry always averted his gaze). Then, the voice of Voldemort giving orders to Wormtail was played out of a loudspeaker, and lights flared on a model of Harry, tied to the tombstone. More lights flared, and an animatronic Wormtail cut off its own hand to the accompaniment of a terrific scream. Plastic Death Eaters, complete with hoods, popped up out of the ground, as though they had apparated there, and a poof of smoke went off, lighting up a giant Dark Mark. It was made of neon lights, of course, but still a nice effect.
This was the part Harry and Ron were most proud of. After the Dark Mark flared, two great doors opened, and you were faced with a giant model of Voldemort's head, biting down on the track. The cart raced toward it, and its jaws opened enough to admit the guests, but, just as you passed below it, the car froze, and, with the sound of high, cold laughter playing in the background, the jaws swept downward as though about to bite the car. Invariably, the muggles were terrified, screaming and shaking.
Harry listened to the titters and "aah"s of appreciation behind him as they approached the head. Its jaws opened, and a few muggles let out grateful shrieks. Then, with the choreographed squeal and lurch, the car jerked to a halt under Voldemort's pointed teeth.
There was a creak above them. The music began to crescendo menacingly.
"Come on!" yelled a muggle boy behind Harry.
"What is it, broken?" yelled another.
"It's part of the ride," a girl shouted.
Harry and Ron smiled.
"Hurry up!" shouted one of the muggle boys. He tossed something up into the metal work. It made a loud "ping!" and a shower of sparks fell over the front of the car.
"HEY!" yelled Ron over the music. "Knock it off!"
But his shout was lost as more muggles cheered and began to throw things at the giant teeth.
"We aren't afraid of you, Voldie!" yelled a girl.
"Yeah! Take that, snake-eyes!" shouted a boy. A barrage of garbage and small items smashed into the electronics above them.
The teeth began their downward swoop, sending off the usual appreciative shrieks of terror. One last muggle tossed an empty drinks can at the giant, leering face of Voldemort. It struck a lever somewhere. A great creak filled the room.
The muggles fell silent. "Uh-oh," Ron murmured.
The creak echoed again. The teeth had finished their downward journey, but the car hadn't begun to move again. Harry looked upward. The teeth were shaking slightly back and forth. Then, they began to fall.
Harry looked at Ron. He had just enough time to say, "Now this is what I call ironic," before the giant, robotic Lord Voldemort bit them both in half.