A/N: This one will make you want to slap Jeremy for being so bloody stupid. But that's okay, because he wants to hit himself too. I hope you all enjoy this, and that we get more reviews for this chapter then we did for our last chapter.
Disclaimer: We own Jeremy, his journal, and our reviews. Yeah, that's about it. Some clothes too, but lets not get into that.
June 12, Fifth Year
Oh, I am an idiot. Just a plain, simple idiot. I know I haven't written in a while. The torment of Draco and Ginny is still too much. Almost every week, one of them will say, "Still got a journal, Jeremy?" So, yes, I was embarrassed, but I need to tell someone about this. About my stupid, stupid self. I still don't know why I did it, or what the hell I was thinking. But I did it. Stupid...
Right, as usual, you have no clue what I'm talking about. Well, I'll start at the beginning. Ginny and I were sitting together for the train ride home. Draco was sitting with Greg and Vince, so they wouldn't think anything was wrong. He claimed that near the end of every trip, they always fell asleep and that he would visit us when they did.
I was not thinking about that though. I was thinking about Ginny. We were talking. The usual conversation stuff. Shakespeare, where we wanted to go after we graduated, funny stories about how we grew up, normal stuff. We had been alone in that room for an hour or two and.... I dunno. I guess I was just kind of... I guess I had somehow fooled myself into believing my never ending acting gig.
Ginny was laughing about something. I don't remember what, but I remember it was something that I had said. One of my rare witty occasions. Her eyes were closed and her head was thrown back. All I could think about was how beautiful she was.
"God, I love you."
Maybe I didn't know I was saying it aloud. Maybe that's why I said it. I guess it doesn't matter why I said it. It was said. And my life officially over. Dun, dun, dun. Sorry, I guess it's not the time to be making jokes, but I just don't know what else to do with myself at the moment.
Ginny stopped laughing. Her eyes opened, no trace of laugher left. She just looked somewhat blank.
"What?" she asked, though I know she heard me perfectly well.
I stared at her open mouthed for a second, shocked by what I had done. I couldn't even think of an excuse. I just sat there.
Her eyes met mine. I guess I didn't have to speak after all. Apparently my eyes told her everything, because as a few seconds later, she got up. "I have to go," she muttered, not looking at me, before rushing out of the compartment.
I can't believe it. I just can't. I'm so... stupid. She's gonna tell Draco. I know she is. He's never going to speak to me again. They'll have to find someone else for this. I'll never be able to talk to her again. Not the same way.
And you want to know the worst part, journal? In those few seconds before she left, I was hoping, praying, for her to say that she loved me too.
A/N: Aww. Poor Jeremy. Everyone who wants to give Jeremy a hug, review! Everyone who doesn't, review and tell us why you don't. He's so sad! Until next time, friends...