November 21, Seventh Year

A/N: Okay, so this is a little funny, a little pointless and a lot emotional. Yet, it's very fun. Review.

The Slytherin Common Room has become a dangerous place. I don't go in there unless I have to, and then I am afraid for my life, what with the glaring and the threatening.

It's not everybody, don't get me wrong. Some of the Graham Pritchard Fan-Club have decided that being muggle-born is sexy. So, when I enter the Common Room, depending on who's in there, I either get hexes thrown at me or panties.

So, lately, I've taken to doing my homework in an empty corridor on the third floor. It's quiet and no one ever looked for me in there before today. Sometimes Graham would sit with me, either doing his homework or talking.

But today, it wasn't Graham opening the door while I was sitting in there. It was Ginny.

"I needed to talk to you," she said, sounding a bit nervous.

I looked at her with a glare that I had not practiced, but am sure showed her all of my rage. "I don't want to talk." I started to pack up my stuff.

"I need to apologize," she said, ignoring what I just said. I hate it when she does that.

I slammed my books down and jumped to my feet. "Apologize?" I yelled. "You want to apologize for revealing my deepest secret?"

"Actually, I wanted to apologize for telling people you were gay. Unless, you know, that was your deepest secret..."

I had never been that close to hitting her before. "Don't you understand?" I screamed. "You-Know-Who is out there killing muggles and muggle-borns! If he finds out what I did, my family is as good as dead! And now you don't even want to apologize for putting my family in danger!" I ranted.

"You worry too much," she said calmly. "Harry's going to kill You-Know-W-"

"When?" I interrupted, still shouting. "Everyone thought Potter would kill him in his seventh year. He didn't. Surprise, surprise. And now people are dying because he's too bloody slow!"

"It's not his fault!" Ginny was also shouting now.

"You put too much faith in your precious Harry Potter," I said, my voice full of scorn. Ginny had only ever had very flattering things to say about the boy, and it bugged me. Never really important enough to write about in here, but it really did bug me. I guess I felt I had to compete with both Potter and Draco. "What makes him so great?" I asked. Don't know why I asked that. Well, I do, but I don't know why I said it out loud.

I wanted to know what I had to do to make her love me. But she didn't really get what I was asking. I'm sure she figured it out later though.

"What's so great about your childhood hero?" she asked. She was just trying to prove that Harry was good. That's all she wanted. But I didn't want to give that to her so easily.

"He was perfect," I said. "But then, Superman isn't real, so of course he was."

"Oh, come on. You have to have had a real person you thought was faultless," she said, still trying to verify that I was wrong.

"I didn't," I told her, bluntly. "Now if you don't mind, I have homework."

"There has to be at least one person that you've put on a pedestal. One person that you've adored and admired since you were little. One person who.... oh."

I guess my look told her. It's the only thing I can think of that would let her know what was going on in my brain.

"Oh," she said again, softly.

What possessed me to ask the next question, I still don't know. Doubt I ever will. But I asked it, and now I want to die. "You're never going to love me, are you?" At least I sounded cynical when I asked.

Ginny kept her eyes focused on the ground. "I'm sorry," she said after a few minutes that had seemed like an eternity. "I'm sorry about telling people you're a muggle-born. I'm sorry that your family could get hurt. I'm sorry for spreading rumors about you. I'm sorry for being angry with you all summer. I'm sorry for involving you in any of this." Her voice was quivering slightly, as if she was about to cry.

"But you're not sorry for not loving me," I said. Yes, I am stupid. I know that. Leave me alone.

"I'm sorry," she said again, and ran from the room.

So I pulled you out, Journal. I pulled you out and told you everything. Because there's no one else to tell. Can't tell Ginny. Can't tell Draco. Can't tell Graham. There's no one.

No one there at all.

A/N: Reviewing isn't as difficult as people make it out to be. You just click the little button at the bottom of the screen and type something. We don't care if it's "gajfjsad;a;sd.