Disclaimer- Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Try it, seriously it can't be done!

 ~*Previously of ASBAON*~ Jack and Will had a heart-to-heart as they sailed to Tortuga, Sam and Scums try to guess what the other one is afraid of, a pirate ship attacked the Pearl, Sam found out that Scums was killed during the fight and confided in Elizabeth.

 ~*Final Line*~ And with those three words she ran into Elizabeth's arms and cried until she had no more tears.

Yes the last one was sad, but you have to have an element of sadness in a story to make it good. Don't worry though Sam will become her wonderful old self soon. Guess what I have just purchased/elf napped 3 new elves, ooohhhh guess who they are? Give up weeeellllll I'll just tell ya, its Legolas (of course), Elladen and Elrohir (because they are apparently hotties too) and with them came much, much Elvish Wine. YAY it should be interesting. Also I am currently looking of either Jack or Will, so if you see them send them my way.  

THANKS TO ME WONDERFUL REVIEWER – zeldagrl436

A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME

On the island of Tortuga, Jack and Will walk down one of the main streets, all around them are drunken pirates, pickpockets and whores. The place smells and Will looks as though he is about to throw up yet Jack just breaths the air in deep, enjoying the smell of being around people "like him".

"More importantly, it is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep this sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga, savvy? What do you think?" Jack said turning to Will.

"It'll linger." Said Will pulling a face.

"I'll tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted." Jack Said throwing him arms about almost nocking Will out. Suddenly Jack spots a familiar "face"

"Scarlet!" Jack approached the whore to hug her but she instead slaps him in the face and struts off "Not sure I deserved that. Giselle!" He said turning towards another painted whore.

"Who was she?!" Giselle demanded.

"What?" she doesn't wait for an answer instead she just slaps him and storms off in the other direction. "I may have deserved that." Jack said turning to Will who was looking strangely at him.

They make their way towards an old stable that a man known as Gibbs was sleeping in.  They found out this information when Jack got into a fight with one of the "waiters" in the Tickled Maiden bar, Will was not sure how he managed to get that information but here they were and there he was. Jack picked up the bucket of water and chucked it at Gibbs causing the man who was sleeping with the pigs to wake in a second.

"Curse you for breathing, you slack-jawed idiot! Mother's love! Jack! You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleeping. 'S bad luck."

"Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys, the man who was sleeping, a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking." Jack slurs at the dripping man who seemed to understand what he was saying, Will in the meantime just looked confused.

"Aye, that'll about do it." Said Gibbs struggling to stand as Will chucks another bucket over him. "Blast! I'm already awake!"

"That was for the smell." Said Will eyeing the man, Jack just laughs.

They make their way back to the Tickled Maiden where they sat at the table. Jack turned to Will.

 "Keep a sharp eye" Jack said as Will turned around to keep watch Jack started the Proposition.

"Now, what's the nature of this venture of yours?" asked Gibbs.

"I'm going after the Black Pearl." Gibbs almost choked on his Drink as Jack said that. "I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it."

"Jack , it's a fool's errand. Why, you know better than me the tales of the Black Pearl."

"That's why I know what Barbossa is up to. All I need is a crew."

"From what I hear tell of Captain Barbossa, he's not a man to suffer fools, nor strike a bargain with one."

"Well, then I'd say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, eh?"

"Prove me wrong. What makes ye think Barbossa will give up his ship to you?"

"Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, eh?" Jack said nodding at Will's turned back.

"The kid?" Gibbs said lowering his voice.

"That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His only child, savvy?" Jack said also lowering his voice.

"Is he, now? "Leverage," says you. "I think I feel a change in the wind," says I. I'll find us a crew. There's bound to be some sailors on this rock crazy as you." Gibbs said leaning back.

"One can only hope. Take what you can…" Jack said lifting his mug of Rum.

"…Give nothing back." Gibbs said as they downed their drinks.

************************************************************************************

Elizabeth and Sam sat on the bed. Elizabeth was trying to comfort a teary Sam who was hugging a pillow so tightly that Elizabeth thought it would burst.

"Sam it will be ok. Trust me. I'm sure he's gone to a better place" Elizabeth said rubbing Sam's back.

"Liz, don't be stupid" Sam said looking up at her "You know very well where he had gone"

"You're right I'm sorry. Hell is definitely not a better place" apologised Elizabeth.

"Well I was going to say that he's at the bottom of the ocean, but your's is good too." Sam gave a weak smile.

"I'm glad you're smiling again. It's so much better when you smile." Elizabeth smiled back. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and then Pintel walked in holding two dresses.

"You'll both be dinin' with the captain. And he requests yous wear these" he chucked the dresses at them.

"Well, you may tell the captain that we disinclined to acquiesce to his request."

"He said you'd say that. He also said if that be the case, yous'll be dinin' with the crew…and yous'll be naked" Pintel smiled a dirty smile.

"I don't feel like being naked" murmured Sam. Both Pintel and Elizabeth turned to her. Elizabeth held back a smile.

"Fine" She growled.

"Can I make this into my own dress?" asked Sam quietly.

"Suppose so, not like I will be wearing it" and with that Pintel walked out leaving the two girls to get dressed.

"Lizzie do you have a dagger or scissors and a needle and thread with you." Asked Sam her voice dull, there was no excitement in it at all. This was not what Elizabeth was used to.

"Ummm yes, here you go." Elizabeth handed the scissors and thread to Sam who muttered "thanks" and went to work cutting up the dress.

About 20 minutes later Elizabeth and Sam enter, and Barbossa's jaw dropped.

"What did you do to the dress" Asked an astonished Barbossa. The dress was dark green and Sam had made it low cut at the front and very low cut at the back so you could see her tattoo (two silver horseshoes intertwined with a four-leaf clover wrapped around the middle[for luck]). She had also cut the front of the skirt part so that it was long at the back and short at the front.

"I wanted it to be different. Do you have a problem with that?" She asked glaring at him.

"No. Not at all. Come sit down. Eat."

They sat down and started to eat, Sam ate normally where as Elizabeth was eating daintily hardly making a mess.

"There's no need to stand on ceremony, nor call to impress anyone. You must be hungry." And with that Elizabeth started gobbling down food making more of a mess than Sam was.

Barbossa passed them a goblet of wine "Try the wine. And the apples" then offering the girls an apple, Sam took one but Elizabeth just looked at him "One of those next."

"It's poisoned." Elizabeth said dropping the leg of lamb she was holding. Sam just looked at Elizabeth, then at Barbossa and then finally at her food, she merely shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat. She was mumbling something about "paranoia" and "Elizabeth".

"There would be no sense to be killing ye's, Miss Turners."

"Then release me, you have your trinket; I'm of no further value to you."

"UMMM Excuse me but there are two of us you know. The whole world doesn't revolve around you. Or should I say you and Will"

"You don't know what this is, do ye?" Asked Barbossa, ignoring Sam.

"It's a pirate medallion." Said Elizabeth a-matter-a-factly. Sam just shook her head and continued to eat.

"This is Aztec gold… one of 882 identical pieces they delivered in a stone chest to Cortez himself. Blood money paid to stem the slaughter he wreaked upon them with his armies. But the greed of Cortez was insatiable. So the heathen gods placed upon the gold…a terrible curse. Any mortal that removes but a single piece from that stone chest shall be punished for eternity."

"I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore, Captain Barbossa." Elizabeth Sneered.

"Aye. That's exactly what I thought when we were first told the tale. Buried on an Island of Dead what cannot be found except for those who know where it is. Find it, we did. There be the chest. Inside be the gold. And we took 'em all. We spent 'em and traded 'em and frittered 'em away on drink and food and pleasurable company. The more we gave 'em away, the more we came to realize…the drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths, and all the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust. We are cursed men, Miss Turners. Compelled by greed, we were, but now we are consumed by it." Barbossa turned around to pat Jack when Elizabeth took a butter knife and hid it "There is one way we can end our curse. All the scattered pieces of the Aztec gold must be restored and the blood repaid. Thanks to ye's, we have the final piece."

"And the blood to be repaid?" Elizabeth Asked.

"My god you are such a blond" Muttered Sam between mouthfuls of food, Elizabeth just gave her a dirty look.

"That's why there's no sense to be killin' ye's…yet. Apple?" he offered her an apple but instead she stabs him "Arr." But instead of falling over and dying he takes it out and looks at her. "I'm curious – after killin' me what was it you plannin' on doing next?" Elizabeth runs out and sees the pirates, all decaying skeletons "Look! The moonlight shows us for what we really are. We are not among the living, and so we cannot die, but neither are we dead. For too long I've been parched with thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing – not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman's flesh." He walks out into the moonlight, Sam following with a leg of lamb in her hand. "You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. You're in one!" Barbossa finished his speech and drinks down a bottle of red wine and it just pours out of his ribs onto the deck, the crew laugh as Elizabeth runs around and then runs back into that cabin. "What are ye looking at? Back to work!"

Something just clicked in Sam's head. She jogged up to Barbossa who was making his way back to the helm.

"Barbossa, I have a question"

"And what might that be?" He asked turning around.

"If you are all cursed and yous can't die, does that mean Scums is still alive?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes most likely" he said not really caring.

"Well how come Pete said he was dead?"

"Pete is a bit daft in the head; he has a few problems remembering things. I can remember a time when he forgot that he was cursed and freaked out when he changed. That was a funny night. There was also this time when we had to rescue him from a prison and he didn't know who we were" Barbossa laughed, Sam smiled at the old sea captain.

"So how come you didn't bring him back on board?" She asked.

"Well, we lost a few good men that night, the ones who fell over board made their way over to an island that wasn't very far away. They are staying there until we come back around. Is that all you wanted to know?"

"Yes, Thankyou so much, this may be hard to believe Captain but you've really brightened my spirits" Sam smiled at Barbossa and he smiled back as she bounded of towards the cabins to find Elizabeth and tell her the good news. Barbossa didn't really mind this girl, but he wasn't going to become an old softy just because she was…interesting, he did have to bleed them after all.

'Maybe I could get away with just bleeding the other twit' Barbossa though as he walked up the helm.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*WwowW I managed around about 2000 words for you all. Do you feel special or what? You know I was thinking of doing a Lord of the Rings fic too, especially about Legolas

*a slurred voice* Are you talking about me…You'd betterrr not beee talking about mmmeee I have a bow wiv arrows ya know.

Yes I know you have arrows

*two more voices are heard* We have swords too and small pointy ones

Daggers

Yeah them; so don't talk about us

  I wasn't

Yesh you were

No I wasn't …jeeze drunk elves are really paranoid; anyways this is it for another day, hey you might even get another one soon, very soon.

Oh and if anyone can figure out where Pete 'Originally' came form, you will get an interesting present. *HINT* He is from this story.

4 DAYS TILL RETURN OF THE KING YAYAYAYAYAY