Disclaimer- Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
Yay well that was really interesting wasn't it, I wonder what an acorn tastes like?
~*Previously of ASBAON*~ Sam meets the Prisoners and sings them a rainbow song, Bo'sun found her and challenged her, possibly a cliff-hanger.
~*Final Line*~ that's all Bo'sun needed he struck and he aimed at her heart.
My wonderful reviewers and ugly-attitude one
- Baby Bunnie - I hope you had a great holiday too!
- Ashleigh Jones - yeah I like writing the author's notes, its fun to torture my elves and Jack ……HEY… what… you're torturing us? Hmmmm define torture
- Zeldagrl436 – oh the elves will live, but I'm not to sure about Jack, actually the elves are fine…kinda. Trust me you'll find out is she lives in this chapt.
- Dimonah Tralon – sorry about the cliff hanger, I just wanted to try it out and see if I could do it, but I think I can handle the elves now, you see I have 3 little sisters and they are acting just like them, so if I treat them like little girls …… we are NOT girls … well you are acting like my LITTLE SISTERS.
- Cecilia Gray – Feel free to use far worse word, I do (see review below), thanks for putting me on there, ooohhhh I feel special!!!
I apologise now to my great reviewers for any language they may not like to see in this next response.
- Sporkgoddess – eeeesssccccuuuussseeee mmmmmmmmmeeeeeee!!!!!!! At what point in time is this story a Mary-sue, my character isn't Mary-sue and unless your definition is of a Mary-sue is a slightly-crippled, rude, bad attitude, tone deaf, stupid 20 something year old, with an old dead sea-captain hitting on her you've reeeeaaalllyyyy got some problems haven't you. And really who cares if it isn't exactly 1700s stuff, its not like I sit here with a book on that sort of crap, and as if I'm pawning this off as my own work, I'm giving credit to the fucking writers of the bloody movie, just because I changed the script a little (lot) doesn't mean I've altered it so that I can say its mine, read the FUCKING DISCLAIMER, and NO I didn't want it to be another gone "back in time story" because then it would be the same as a lot of stories out there, I know there are a lot like this out there too but there are way more of them. Why don't you try reading past Chapter 2, you wanker. I've had more good reviews about people loving this story than I have had by people like you. So take you "HONESTY" and shove it.
That wasn't very nice.
Well Legolas read her (if it is a her that is) review *shows him the review*
OHHHHHH well that person is most likely Sauron, would you like us to go and find this person and dispose of them?
No that is alright what goes around comes around, but thankyou, glad to know you would do that for me, you can go back to what you were doing while I write.
As you wish *walks over to others, and continues eating unknown substance*
What are they eating?
A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME
"What's going on down there?" yelled a few pirates.
Sam turned her head to the stairs, Bo'sun saw this as an opportunity to strike, and that he did, he aimed at her heart.
"WATCHOUT" yelled Louis from the cage, the sudden outburst surprised Bo'sun and brought Sam back to reality, she regained her focus just in time to duck, but the duck wasn't quick enough, Bo'sun drove his sword straight through Sam's shoulder. Sam dropped to the floor just in time to see the pirates coming down the stairs.
"What happened ere?" one pirate asked, those were the last words Sam heard before she blacked out.
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Sam awoke in a cold sweat, it took a second but Sam got her bearings and realised that she was in the cabin with Elizabeth looking worriedly out the window.
"Lizzie?" Sam asked trying to sit up but the searing pain in her shoulder caused her to fall back upon the numerous pillows behind her.
"Sammy, don't sit up, you'll just hurt yourself more." Elizabeth said running over to the side of the bed.
"What happened?" Sam asked.
"You should be the one to tell me all I know was that, James said he found you and Bo'sun with the prisoners and you were unconscious with a sword wound in the shoulder."
"And with all that information you couldn't figure out what happened yourself?" Sam smiled as Elizabeth gave a sleepy look.
"Yes well, you see my best friend is lying severely wounded in a bed, just waking up from unconsciousness excuse me if I can't use my brain under these circumstances." Elizabeth Scolded.
"Oh really, and what is your excuse all the other times?" laughed Sam.
"Oh HA, HA very funny, gee I am glad you are back to your old sarcastic self" They continued to exchange insults until a knock on the door caused them to stop immediately.
"Who is it?" Elizabeth Asked.
"Tis James" he said walking in. "Oh you're awake. How is your shoulder?"
"It's been better!" smiled Sam; she then noticed that he was carrying something in his arms.
"What's that?" Sam asked pointing to the package in his arms.
"This is somethin' for you shoulder and somethin' from that prisoner Lukas or somethin'" he said placing it on the desk.
"Louis?" Sam answered helpfully.
"Yeah that's it" he pulled out a greeny looking substance, brought it over to Elizabeth.
"Here put this on her shoulder every half hour, should stop the bleeding" he said walking back to the door.
"What's the other ……? OW" yelled Sam as Elizabeth as she put some of the green goo on her arm.
"Sorry, Sorry" apologised Elizabeth
"Yeah anyway what's the other thing?" she asked.
"Oh I dunno, here you go." He said handing it to Sam, it was wrapped in a cloth, and she decided to open it later as she laid it beside her.
"I'll thank his hotness later. Umm can I ask …what happened to Bo'sun?" She asked uncertainly.
"Yeah the captain sentenced him to cleaning the decks, he's kinda pissed 'bout that but he's boasting about how he gotchya back"
"Grrrr well if it I didn't get distracted by his ugliness and certain people on the stairs, he wouldn't have gotten such a lucky shot." She yelled as he closed the door.
"Stop fidgeting or I'll have to re-apply that stuff" Sam stopped instantly as Elizabeth continued to wrap her shoulder in the makeshift bandages, (made out of the sheet that was on the bed).
"You know what Liz, I am really getting sick of being here now." Sam Confessed.
"So am I" agreed Elizabeth. "But Will… He will come for us soon"
"Yeah you're probably right" Smiled Sam.
"Do you remember when we were captured?" asked Elizabeth when she had finished wrapping Sam's shoulder.
"Ya" Sam answered in a Dutch accent making Elizabeth smile.
"Well, as we passed Will in the street you called him, nappy-man. Why was that?" Elizabeth asked Sam watching the reaction on her face go from confusion to humorous.
"Do you really wanna know? You may never look at him the same way again?"
"Well it has bugged me for a while now"
"Weelllll, he's gonna kill me for telling ya this, but what are sisters for" Sam smiled "Until he was 10, He had to wear a nappy mainly to bed because of little accidents that happened through the night." Sam started to laugh.
"OH MY" giggled Elizabeth.
"And then when he was 15 he was showing off to you, do you remember, he was challenged to a race along the beach, he was riding my stallion and then came galloping up from behind to beat Master Rodgers?"
"Oh yes, he was so brave that day."
"Brave my ass. At first he couldn't find anyone to lend him a horse so he begged me and begged me to lend my new horse to him, and then when he was about to get on he chickened out and asked me to ride so that you wouldn't think he was a chicken"
"Really, well then, I must confess I was kind of disappointed that day that he actually agreed to that challenge, I didn't think he was one of those people who got caught up in those sorts of challenges. What was it for again?"
"We had a ball coming up and the winner was going to take you"
"Oh that's right, so really it turned out alright in the end didn't it…wait… so really you were meant to take me." Elizabeth Laughed.
"Well actually, Will pissed me off that night so I told him that I would tell you what happened and take you. But he told me he would do all my chores for the next 2 weeks so I let him take you, I was very happy to oblige and take my date…….mmmmm do you remember Scott Kaon?"
"Oh yes he was very handsome" agreed Elizabeth.
"HANDSOME he was dead sexy, a very good kisser might I add" they laughed together for a while.
"What was in that other bundle?" asked Elizabeth
"I dunno" Sam picked it up from the side of the bed, and opened it to find a very beautiful dagger; it had a gold encrusted handle and 3 pearls embedded in its handle.
"WOW" they said
"That is really beautiful" They admired the sword for a while then Sam asked "Liz take me below deck I want to thank Louis for saving me and giving me this beautiful dagger"
"Doesn't look like saving you worked much?" Elizabeth looked sceptical
"Well considering that the blade was aimed at my heart, I think he did a good job!" She said throwing the blankets off. "Now you can either help me or I'll go by myself"
"Oh alright, come along then" Elizabeth helped her out of the bed. Sam placed the dagger in her boots and continued out the door. They got to the deck and found that all of the prisoners were on deck.
"What's going on?" Sam asked Ramen, a stocky pirate who stood about 6'5 with a big black beard and shaved head.
"We're getting' rid' of da prisoners" He grunted.
"What? How? Your not gonna kill them are you?" She asked with a frightened expression
"Nuh, strand em on dat island, we are" he grunted pointing to a fairly close island.
"Uh huh" Sam started to look through the crowd to find Louis, she found him near the back of the group and she (with Elizabeth's help) walked up behind him.
"Boo" she said in his ear, as he jumped and turned around.
"Oh Sam it's so good to see you alive. And who is this? Is it your sister?" he asked acknowledging Elizabeth
"Yes this is Elizabeth, Elizabeth this is Louis, he's hot" smiled Sam as Elizabeth laughed and Louis blushed.
"It's not very common to see a pirate blush" Elizabeth said giving him his hand, he kissed it and said
"Yes but your sister has remarkable talents" He said smiling at Sam, she smiled back but then her face fell.
"I see your leaving then?" She asked.
"Leaving/getting thrown off the ship, same thing I suppose." He said looking over his shoulder as some of his crew was thrown overboard.
"Hmmm I was just coming to say thanks, you know for the dagger and for saving me"
"It was no problem at all; I would gladly do it again."
"I wish I could do the same for you" she said nodding towards the prisoners being thrown over.
"Hmm its ok, it was bound to happen" he smiled.
"O.K well here hide this" she said handing him one or her own daggers "Use it for food and stuff and I hope maybe one day we'll see each other again" No sooner had she said that it was his "turn".
"Goodbye Sam"
"Goodbye Louis" As he turned from her, Sam had a thought, she used he good hand to turn him around and enveloped him in a kiss.
"C'mon get on with it" Said a Pirate as he pulled Louis to the edge.
"SWIM HARD" she yelled as he was thrown off.
"Sam, I really don't know how you manage to do it" said an astonished Elizabeth as the re-entered their cabin.
"Do what?" asked Sam.
"You know what." Said Elizabeth
"Oh the kiss, weeeellllll consider it a goodbye/thankyou-for-saving-me kiss" Sam smiled at Elizabeth "¿Cómo pueda yo lo ayudo é les un besador tan bueno?"
"Don't you go all Spanish on me; you know very well I can't speak it!"
"I mealy said 'how can I help it when he is such a good kisser?" laughed Sam.
"Oh, really, you only kissed him once!"
"That you know of" Sam smiled and continued "Besides it took your mind off Will didn't it, or maybe now you want Will even more, hmmm?"
They continued to bicker on and off until there was a knock at the door.
"Time to go, Poppets." Said Pintel, they walked out of their cabin and they were then loaded into some row boat, Sam notice that almost all of the pirates were there.
"I don't like the look of this" she said looking up at the huge cave they entered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
GRRRRRR these elves are driving me nuts, I took their wine away but somehow they found some suger, Jack is just sitting in a corner sulking, actually, he's the only one not acting up, I might give his rum back soon.
RUM? Where's me rum? I need me rum to live!
No you don't………ahhhh……*tackled by elves*
Hello fellow readers. I am Legolas Thranduilion Prince of Mirkwood, Son of Thranduil and we (Elladen, Elrohir and I) have decided that it's our turn to torture Aus, so if you have any Questions feel free to ask myself or the other elves. Not Jack he's weird.
I'm NOT WEIRD
Yes you are now sit there and don't move I have arrows mmmwwwaaaahhhhhhhahahaha hehehehe Oh what's that noise *Phone rings* what's this hmm.
It's a snake don't touch it will bite you
Tis no snake, Legolas, I saw her on it this morn
Hmmmm if what you say is true Elladen then I should be able to talk on it *Picks up the phone* Hello this is…
Hello deary, this is Sherry Stoker from lollypops anonymous, and I was wondering if Aus was there?
Yes she is here but she is…under wraps at the moment? I will tell her you called though.
Thankyou deary
Hehehe Hey Legolas I found some wine!
Are you sure its wine Elrohir?
Yes it tastes really wonderful *Legolas goes into the kitchen*
Oh no they found my Grog closet… *turns to Jack*… Jack ooohhhh Jack
What
If you help me I will get you some real good rum.
Really
Really *Jack staggers over to Aus and unties her* great, now we have to get the elves. Think of a way and you'll get some rum at the end of it all!
*meanwhile the elves continue to get plastered in my Grog closet*