Disclaimer- Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum

Wow that almost as interesting as the oak tree stuff. I've really gotta find more interesting stuff.

 ~*Previously of ASBAON*~ Sam recovers from her wound, She says goodbye to Louis, who was being thrown over board, she shows that she knows more than one language, and they finally enter the cave.

 ~*Final Line*~ "I don't like the look of this" she said looking up at the huge cave they entered.

TO My Wonderful reviewers

Zeldagrl436 – Yeah, but I've managed to get their arrows already but now they have knives and forks which can hurt too.

Dimonah Tralon – OMG you win hands down, I could not deal with 4 little sisters I can barely manage with 3!

Cecilia Gray – Don't ya hate it when it does that, happens to me all the time. Its cool bout the language, I just get a bad temper when people say cr@p bout my stuff And don't ya hate it when ya friends hit, it hurts bad, my best bud pokes me in the shoulder and its not a light little poke, its like a pen stabbing into your arm. 

Amanda – Thanks, its cool I get a bit crazy too, all the time actually.

Sweet A.K – No coffee, Got it. OMG so that's were hand went. I wondered what happened to him. I'm not sure what happened to Louis, as soon as my brain starts to work, he'll be back. BRAINFLASH story for sequel Louis is back, he goes mental, kidnaps Sam.  Jack, Will, and Liz are in hot pursuit to save her. Thanks for making my brain work.  

Shhhhh there coming

Is it set?

Yes, they should be commin' through ere in a second

Oh here they come!

*Elves walk through kitchen doorway into the dining room and are covered by a large cage*

What's this? What are you doing?

You elves have gone out of control, its time you settle down. *Arrow flies past her head, Jack and Aus hide in next room* Jack I thought you took their arrows away?

I did *shows 3 empty quivers*

Where are the arrows? Do they happen to have them?

They might.

Well at least they can calm down now. *another arrow flies past* they're not a very good shot when they are high/drunk.

Yeah, yeah; Now about me rum

Oh yes here you go. *hands Jack large bottle of Jamaican rum* will that do?

It might *lies on the lounge and gets to work drinking it*

Now on with the story

LET US OUT. WE'LL BE GOOD

Not until you come down off that suger rush.

A Story by any other name

"Dead men tell no tales." Mr Cotton's parrot sang as the Interceptor sailed into the lagoon

"Puts a chill in the bones how many honest sailors have been claimed by this passage." Mr Gibbs said looking at the skeletons and wreaked ships in the harbour.

"How is it that Jack came by that compass?" Asked Will, who was looking at Jack who was looking at the compass, and Mr Cotton was looking at them (Jack and the compass) both.

"Not a lot's known about Jack Sparrow before he showed up in Tortuga with a mind to go after the treasure of the Isla de Muerta. That was before I met him, back when he was Captain of the Black Pearl." Gibbs Said sitting next to Will.

"What? He failed to mention that." an astonished Will Said.

"Well, he plays things closer to the vest now. And a hard-learned lesson it was. See three days out on the venture the first mate comes to him and says everything's an equal share. That should mean the location of the treasure, too, so Jack gives up the bearings. That night there was a mutiny. They marooned Jack on an island and left him to die but not before he'd gone mad with the heat."

"Ah. So that's the reason for all the…" Will starts to act like Jack.

"Reason's got nothing to do with it. Now Will, when a man is marooned he is a given a pistol with a single shot – one shot. Well it won't do much good hunting or to be rescued. But after three weeks of a starvin' belly and thirst, that pistol will start to look real friendly. But Jack – he escaped the island, and he still has that one shot. Oh, but he won't use it, though, save for one man. His mutinous first mate."

"Barbossa"

"Aye"

"How did Jack get off the island?"

"Well, I'll tell ye. He waded out into the shallows and there he waited three days and three nights till all manner of sea creature 'came and acclimated to his presence. And on the fourth morning, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft."

"He roped a couple of sea turtles?"

"Aye, sea turtles."

"What did he use for rope?" Will asked and Gibbs looked confused.

"Human hair…from my back. Let go of the anchor!" Jack Said who had walked up behind them.

"Young Mr. Turner and I are to go ashore." Jack said to the crew.

"Captain! What if the worst should happen?" Asked Gibbs

"Keep to the code." Jack said.

"Aye, the code." Gibbs Agreed.

***************************************************************************************

Sam, Elizabeth and the pirates entered the cave, the big scary looking cave, to come face to face with piles and piles of gold

"Ten years of hording swag" Pintel said

"And now we finally get to spend it" Ragetti answered. The pirates continued to talk with Sam and Elizabeth stood there taking in everything they saw.

"Ya know, we could just "borrow" some of this stuff" Said Sam giving Elizabeth a sly look.

"No" Elizabeth answered firmly.

"But maybe if…"

"No"

"But…"

"NO" A few pirates looked at the girls, who were now standing atop a large pile of treasure.

"You are such a downer" Grumbled Sam

"Yes well, this is stolen treasure." Sam just gave her a blank look.

"Meaning it's not ours"

"Oh I know that but I was just wondering how long you've had that piece of spaghetti hanging off your face?" Sam pointed to Elizabeth's cheek.

"What!" asked Elizabeth frantically wiping at her cheek.

"Hehehe, see your way too up tight."

"Well you would be too if you actually paid attention to the situation" Once again Sam gave her a blank look.

"They are going to bleed us!"

"Oh yeah that, eh can't win em all" Sam shrugged her shoulders and sat down and started looking through the pile of treasure.

"What is that meant to mean. You know you are so frustrating sometimes" Said Elizabeth turning around.

"Yeah people often say that, but I'm sure your glad to have me along, who wouldn't" Sam laughed.

"Yeah I suppose you are right, you are much funnier than most people I know" Smiled Elizabeth looking around at the pirates who were slowly filling up the cave.

"Dam right I'm right, I'm always right….." Sam continued to mumble as she sifted through the treasure.

*****************************************************************************

Meanwhile not very far away, Will and Jack are slowly making their way down the streamy thing, and into the cave.

"What Code is Gibbs to keep to if the worst should happen?" Asked Will who was looking at the treasure and skulls they passed.

"Pirate's Code. Any man that falls behind…is left behind."

"No heroes amongst thieves, eh?"

"You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you're well on your way to becoming one. Sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the Fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga and you're completely obsessed with treasure." Jack Said, noticing that Will was staring at the gold at the bottom of the stream.

"That's not true; I am not obsessed with treasure."

"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate." Jack said looking at the gathering that was before them.

"Gentlemen, the time has come! Our salvation is nigh! Our torment is near at end." Shouted Barbossa to the crowd, Elizabeth was standing next to him and Sam was no where to be seen.

"Elizabeth" Whispered Will.

"For ten years we've been tested and tried, and each man here has proved his mettle a hundred times over and a hundred times again!" The pirates cheered. "Punished, we were. The lot of us - disproportionate to our crimes! Here it is…" He threw the chests lid off "…the cursed treasure of Cortez himself. Every last piece that went astray, we have returned…save for this." Barbossa pointed to the medallion that Elizabeth was wearing.

Will started to climb over the pile of treasure they were hiding behind "Jack!" Will said after Jack pulled him down.

"Not yet. We wait for the opportune moment." Jack whispered.

"881 we found but despaired of ever finding the last." Barbossa continued

"When's that? When it's of greatest profit to you?"

"Hmm I can think of one…May I ask you something? Have I ever given you reason not to trust me? Do us a favour – I know it's difficult for you, but please stay here and try not to do anything stupid." Jack Pleaded.

"And who among us has paid the blood sacrifice owed to the heathen gods?" Barbossa shouted.

"Us!" The pirates answered equally loud.

"And whose blood must yet be paid?"

"Hers!" Luckily most of the pirates were too involved in the speech to wonder were Sam had wondered off to.

"You know the first thing I'm goin' to do after the curse is lifted? Eat a whole bushel of apples." Barbossa picked up his knife and grabbed Elizabeth's hand "Begun by blood…by blood undone."

"Sorry, Jack. I'm not going to be your leverage." Will Said; after he whacked Jack over the head with the oar.

Barbossa cut Elizabeth's palm "That's it?" she asked.

"Waste not." He said as he dropped the medallion into the chest. Anticipation filled the air to see if it had worked.

"Did it work?" One pirate asked.

"I don't feel no different." Answered another

"How do we tell?" Pintel asked Barbossa. Barbossa answered by shooting him in the chest.

"You're not dead?" asked the first pirate.

"No. He shot me!"

"It didn't work." Ragetti Growled.

"The curse it still upon us!" Some shouted.

Barbossa grabbed Elizabeth's arm and asked "You, maid! Your father, what was his name? Was your father William Turner?"

"No" she answered.

"Where's his child? The child that sailed from England eight years ago, the child in whose veins flows the blood of William Turner. Where?" Barbossa slapped him and she fell down.

"You two! You brought us the wrong person!" Bo'sun yelled.

"No! She had the medallion. She's the proper age, What about her sister?" Pintel said.

"She said their names were Turner – you heard her!" Will motions for Elizabeth to come down into the water "I think she lied to us."

"Where is the other one?" Barbossa yelled the pirate's looked at him blankly "Well FIND HER!!!" The pirates started to run around looking through the piles of treasure.

As Will and Elizabeth make their way out of the cave, they tried to slip out unnoticed but Jack (the monkey) saw them and tried to get the pirates attention. After about 3 minutes or so he finally does.

"The medallion! She's taken it! Get after her! You feckless pack of ingrates!" Barbossa Shouted.

"Found her Captain!" a few pirates yelled as they dragged Sam, who was covered in gold, jewels and pearls, out from behind a large gold pile.

"Hi ya'll" She said with a smile.

"You, who was your father?"

"I dunno, never met the bloke. Mum said he was nice." Sam looked fondly into the air "Why? Are you my father?" Sam Grinned

"No! Was your father William Turner?" He yelled grabbing her shoulders

"OWWWWW…Chill, there is no need to yell. I.Don't.KNOW" she yelled back, she saw him raise his hand "And don't you even think about slapping me. You saw what happened last time"

"GRRRRR FIND THE OTHER ONE" He yelled throwing Sam back into the other pirates' arms. The marched around the corner of the cave and started to make their way out of the entrance.

"No oars. Where's the oar?" Some pirates asked.

"Up ya arse" Mumbled Sam, the pirate holding her shook her "Hey, Hey, Hey watch the shoulder"

Suddenly Ragetti spotted Jack "You" Jack looked shocked and continued to sway unsteadily as he looked at the pirates. 

"You're supposed to be dead!" Pintel said looking strangely at Jack.

"Am I not?" Jack said looking down at himself.

"Jack" Sam cried happily.

"Oh; 'ello luv. I've come to save you..." Jack found a pistol pointed at him. "Oh"

"Palulay…palu-li-la-la-lulu, parlili… parsnip…" Jack was struggling so Sam tried to help him out.

"Parsley?" She said helpfully

"Parsley…no, par - partner, partner…"

"Parley?" Ragetti said.

"Parley! That's the one. Parley! Parley!" Jack said pointing at all the surrounding pirates. Sam started to giggle.

"Parley? Down to the depths whatever man that thought up "parley!" Growled Pintel.

"That would be the French." Smiled Jack.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hmmm it's all nice and quite here. Jack has passed out on the lounge and the elves have come down off their suger rush…HARD. Thanks to them I know have an interesting wall display of arrows. They even managed to spell out HELP with the arrows. I think I'll let them out, I hope they don't remember anything. Maybe I will wait until Jack wakes up before I do anything. Hmmm speak of the devil.

Where?

It's just a saying

Oh, seeing that those elves are asleep how about you and me getting to know each other better. Ya know what I mean *Runs his hand over shoulders and down my back*

Yeah I know what ya mean and if ya don't move ya hand ya may lose it. I don't want you getting too fresh Mr Sparrow. At least not when I'm working.

Then Stop working

Can't, my Fans (hehehe) need their update and I don't wanna keep em waiting, there is another bottle of rum in that cupboard over there. And please don't wake the elves. *Jack walks over to the cupboard* and grab me a Malibu. Gotta go and figure out what to do with these elves.

Toodle-oo