Bonjour, Duckies!
Title: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Joey Wheeler/Seto Kaiba. Minor: Malik/Ryou, Tristan/Serenity, Mokuba/Noa
Rating: R, eventually
Summary: Joey is a punk with sticky fingers and a horrible report card. Seto Kaiba is the smartest kid in school, and the biggest prep. Once Joey is arrested one time too many, Kaiba is assigned to be his tutor. If Joey can't get his grades up, it's off the state juvenile penitentiary.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously.
Author's Notes: [I decided to change the pairing because I got some ideas in this wee brain of mine, so don't worry, all will be well in the romance department.] I don't know if anyone noticed, but not even one whole day has passed since the first chapter. Weird, huh? So this chapter, is going to be different, thank God, and although I didn't want to do day by day, I feel like I need to show the animosity between Joey and Kaiba go up and down like a roller coaster! Oh, and please forgive me ahead of time for the bad stuff that is going to happen to Mai. She's the only anime female I really like, so it's seriously nothing personal. Okay, I'll stop talking now, and leave you guys to read...
::
I
grew up on five-alive
And transformers and slip-n-slide
Toy's R Us and Chuck-e-Cheeze
Disco out and techno in
to synthesize my favorite sin
And here I am on my knees
To get it back again
Babies of the 80's
Little girls in lycra shorts
Tented beds, nerf contact sports
My babies of the 80's
Shout it out just one more time
For the generation that was all mine
We learned to crawl on linoleum floors
Ronald Regan fought Star Wars
But he'll never be Han Solo
Students march Tienemen Square
They took him out hey that's not fair
Dad said it's good to be free
As we watched from our T.V.
Babies of the 80's
Little girls in lycra shorts
Tented beds, nerf contact sports
My babies of the 80's
Shout it out just one more time
For the generation that was all mine
We watched the wall fall down
Woke up early for Bozo the clown
MTV and Nick at Night
And I slept for the first time
Without the light
without the light
without the light
(one two one two three go)
My Babies of the 80's
**Little girls in jelly shoes
got the Ferris Bueller blues**
My babies of the 80's
this could be something after
Who knew this could be something after
Who knew this could be something after
Who Knew.::
--Babies of the 80's by Something Corporate
Chapter four:
***Babies of the 80's***
After school that day, Joey decided to be fashionably late. After all, his tutor probably invented being fashionably late (simply because he was that fashionable). With his face pressed against the glass window of the library, watching Kaiba scowl at the table he had chosen, Joey decided he didn't want to be there at all.
Maybe a day late could still constitute as fashionably late. Joey would just have to remember to wear something fashionable just in case Kaiba questioned his absence. Nothing wrong with being a smartass after all, since the key word was smart. All in all, Joey was rather pleased with his logic.
So he caught up with Malik, who was rushing out of school like a giant dust bunny was after him. "Hey Malik, wait up!"
The Egyptian boy stopped, and turned back. There was a giddy smile on his face, and he waited patiently for Joey to catch up to him before gushing, "I'm in love!" His excitement was short lived, however, as his face changed to his patented confused look. "Don't you have a tutoring lesson with the royal Ass today?"
Joey grinned. "Yeah, but I'm ditching." He ran a hand through his messy hair, just to have something to do with his shaking hands. For some reason, he got a huge thrill out of standing up Kaiba. Which, he decided, was really fucked up. "So, love, huh? Who's the lucky man?"
"His name is Ryou and he's from England. Accent alert, man!" The thought of Ryou put the giddy smile right back on his face. Anyone looking at him from a distance would think he had majorly conflicting emotions. "He's so pretty, with long white hair, and this big, brown eyes, and I secretly think he's an angel fallen from heaven. But he might be coming over this weekend!"
"Wait...Ryou Bakura? The little geek in the sweater vest?" Joey thought a moment, then added, "Who talks at dangerously low volume?" It was true, he thought defensively, when the British boy had introduced himself, Joey had to strain to hear a word he said.
Lavender eyes narrowed dangerously. "I like the sweater vest." Desperate to elaborate, he blurted, "It's cute." Malik thought about pushing Joey out into oncoming traffic. But then, Joey was a good best friend, and why bother when he could be pushing someone like oh, say, Seto Kaiba into traffic? "So since we've got this back and forth conversation going already, I have to know: Why ditch the asshole?"
Joey laughed. "Why not, man? And since when did you change your feelings for him anyway? I thought he wasn't so bad in your book." Which was a total lie, since Malik had never offered a clear opinion on Joey's tutor. That animosity wasn't there before though, and Joey was beginning to miss the giddy grin. Sort of.
"Since he messed with pretty angel Ryou," Malik growled.
"Uh-oh. Love triangle?" Malik was feeling possessive and it was showing. The only other time Joey had seen Malik so overprotective was when Isis had tried to take away Malik's feather duster. Which was a big no-no in the world of Malik Ishtar.
"Yeah, right! What's Seto Kaiba got that I don't got?"
They looked at each other and grinned.
"A million dollars."
*****
Seto Kaiba did not like being set up. He didn't care what kind of excuse Wheeler would cook up—it was very unbussiness-like to miss a meeting. Seto was always on time for every occasion that required his attendance. However, when the other party was late, Seto would wait for thirty minutes, just in case. Traffic in New York City was hell, after all.
After an hour of no Wheeler, Kaiba was pissed. Pissed in the way he had to storm outside to his convertible, get in, and make the tires squeal just to vent his frustration. Because Kaiba was not the type to curse aloud and hit things; no, he vented in his car. His very nice leather interior car.
He was driving normally again within ten minutes, not wanted to endanger the perfect exterior of his baby. Seto wasn't arrogant, per se, but he knew what he knew, and he knew he looked hot inside his dark blue Mustang convertible. It was a gift from his stepfather on a company merger Seto had completed, and although he loathed gifts from his stepfather, he really liked the car.
His cell phone began vibrating in his pocket. "Kaiba." He answered shortly. A childish voice greeted him on the other line.
"Hey Seto."
Seto smiled. A real smile, too. "Hello Mokuba. What's up?"
"I was so excited I just couldn't wait to tell you!" There was a short pause. "Are you sitting down?"
Seto looked around at the traffic and answered dryly, "Yes." He wasn't sure whether or not he should be wary of his little brother's giddiness. Mokuba had been known to pull some pretty odd stunts in his lifetime, which at the age of thirteen, could be really difficult living with.
"Okay. I got a haircut!"
Which was really unexpected. "Mokuba, you haven't gotten a haircut since you were eight."
"I know!"
Seto was really afraid of the answer to his next question. "How short it is?"
There was a scuffle on the other side of the telephone, which meant Mokuba was running to find a mirror and a ruler. "Uh..." he laughed nervously. "Two inches?"
Seto was very glad he was sitting down. What the hell was he supposed to say? It didn't seem to matter much, as his mansion was looming shortly in the distance. "Was there any real reason you got it cut?"
"Oh, Noa and I were walking home together," Noa was the odd little blue-haired boy from 'next door.' "And I saw this sign about cancer, and how you can donate your hair for the people who went through chemotherapy." Mokuba Kaiba, the thirteen-year-old humanitarian. "So I told Noa to go ahead home without me, and for the next hour, the lady cut my hair. I'm so glad I could help the cancer patients," he gushed.
Somewhere in the back of Seto's mind, the pride was trying to overcome the shock. Seto knew he was an asshole, but he would do anything for Mokuba. And if Mokuba was happy making other people happy, then Kaiba would be happy for him. It was an overwhelming amount of happiness. And Wheeler was out of Seto's mind completely as he pulled up to his house.
"I'm outside, Mokuba," he told his brother, "I'll be right in."
"'Kay. Bye!" Mokuba really was the cutest person Seto knew.
When he walked inside, he was shocked to find Mokuba in the foyer. Shocked, because his little brother looked so different, and because little Noa from next door was already there. He was running Mokuba's hair, and staring at his friend in open adoration.
Seto rolled his eyes. It was so like Mokuba not to notice when a friend—a boy friend—liked him. Liked him in a really non-platonic way. The funny thing was, Mokuba liked his friend back. A few months ago, Mokuba had admitted to liking Noa, amazingly on the same night he had told Seto he suspected he was gay. What with the way Mokuba blushed the whole time he talked about Noa, Seto didn't have to suspect anything.
Although it might not have been the right emotion, Seto had been relieved. He had been thinking for so long about Mokuba getting married and having children. Seto wanted nothing more than to end the Kaiba line with them.
"Hello, Mokuba. Noa."
The teal-haired boy pulled his hand away as if stung, and smiled innocently at Seto. "Hey Seto! Check out Mokie's hair!" He ruffled said boy's hair, completely missing it as his friend blushed. Figured.
Seto nodded, barely hearing them as he took the time to study them together. Mokuba, with his new short—and still unusually messy—black hair and big blue eyes, was nearly a head shorter than Noa. He was also a year younger, and dressed as if he had walked right out of a Pauly Shore movie in his cut-off jean shorts and green striped shirt that he covered with a orangeish jean vest.
Noa, on the other hand, had neatly combed blue hair (Seto figured it was some sort of dye-accident gone wrong) that was the same color as his teal blue eyes, and was paler than Mokuba. And since he was a year older, and attended the private high school near Mokuba's public middle school, Noa was dressed impeccably in a gray uniform.
They balanced each other out nicely. Grudgingly, Seto had to admit to himself that he liked Noa, even though the boy had a tendency to be a smartass.
"So, Noa, should I have another place set at the dinner table tonight?"
Both boys blushed. "Sure. Can I spend the night, Seto? Mokuba was supposed to ask you this weekend," he shot a playful glare at Mokuba and continued, "but he forgot. I've got a project I need help on, and Mokuba is gonna help."
Seto was slightly intrigued. "What sort of project?" After all, if it was anything academic, why would Noa need help from a younger boy?
"Art." Ah, a one-word explanation. It made sense, though. Seto had seen Noa's artwork, and it was certainly nothing to brag about. Fortunately, the boy already knew that.
Mokuba, on the other hand, was a child prodigy in the art department. A lot of his museum-worthy paintings were sent to various places, usually schools and hospitals, and dozens of his pieces were scattered around their home. Seto encouraged Mokuba's artistic endeavors wholeheartedly, as did Noa.
The two of them so completely and unknowingly smitten with one another only proved that opposites did attract.
Except, Seto thought with a scowl, for he and Joey Wheeler. Apparently, they were too different. The blond mutt was nothing but a burden on society, and while Seto respected the whole loving big brother routine, he did not approve of Wheeler's sticky fingers.
"Big brother?" Seto snapped out of his brooding, and smiled down at his brother. He didn't need to be thinking of Wheeler. But he did need to put Wheeler in his place.
"Sorry, I'm just a little on edge." At the two boys' questioning looks he explained, "The mongrel I'm supposed to be tutoring stood me up. I need to call him an reschedule our missed lesson."
Mokuba blinked. "Oh. Well, can Noa spend the night?"
Seto shrugged in a very un-Seto way. "Yes. Oh, damn." He snapped his fingers, a smirk on his face. Thankfully, he was facing away from his brother. "I gave the servants the day off, so no one will be able to prepare a spare bedroom. You don't mind sharing a bed with Mokuba, do you Noa?"
He could practically hear the blush in the boy's voice when he stuttered, "N-no, not that all..."
With a curt nod, Seto excused himself and went to find the nearest phone, which happened to be in the kitchen. He pulled the piece of paper Mr. Mouto had given him with the mutt's number, and dialed.
After several rings, a thickly accented and familiar voice answered, "Hello?"
"Wheeler."
There was a loud growl on the other line. "I'm hanging up."
An awkward silence loomed between them. It was probably more awkward for Joey, since Kaiba really didn't mind waiting so long. "Does it always take this long for you to complete your actions, Wheeler?"
Joey answered with a meek, but challenging, "You were sposed to say something dramatic and make me want to not hang up."
'Oh, come on,' Seto thought, 'is he for real?' "Yes, well, excuse me for not reading my script. I couldn't help but notice you weren't at our tutoring session today."
"And?"
"I'm guessing you got a little thrill from it, you little punk, but I don't like being stood up. So, I have a proposition."
"One of those words you should use at the end of a sentence?"
If Wheeler was joking, Seto was really not amused. Honestly, the boy seemed completely serious. "No, you mutt, a deal. Only this is not so much a deal as it is if you don't do what I say, a cop of whom you have no personal relations with will appear at your doorstep at the snap of my fingers."
Joey was listening. "Okay. So, what is this deal?" He sounded suspicious. Good.
"You will join me for dinner at my house. Do you have a pen and pencil, or can you only afford to carve things in the wall with a knife?"
"Oh, we like to use finger paint for the important messages," he answered sarcastically.
So he and Seto did have something in common. "Dinner will be at seven. I expect you here at quarter of, and Wheeler, you don't have to dress like a prep," he finished just as sarcastically.
"Wait, I have to have dinner with you?"
"Yes. My self-esteem is dropping of course, knowing my company is going to be punishment. Here's my address." He told Wheeler—slowly and in small words—where he lived, and what to wear, and answered all of Wheeler's stupid questions.
Then, he waited. For a while, he went to the studio upstairs to watch Mokuba and Noa working together, fumbling with paints and pencils and words. If Seto ever needed to find Mokuba, the boy could most likely be found in his studio upstairs, painting the walls. Seto had given Mokuba the largest room on the third floor, so the boy could have plenty of space. Plus, their stepfather hated the smell of paints anywhere below the second floor.
Since he was never around, it didn't much matter, but Mokuba liked his workspace just fine. And obviously, whatever Mokuba liked, Noa liked.
Seto watched in amusement as the older boy blushed when asking for advice on what to draw. Mokuba had changed into paint-splattered overalls and wore a bandana over his hair. Seto was still having a hard time getting used to his hair.
"Hey, Mokuba, how does this eye look?"
Mokuba, who was standing on a ladder, paintbrush poised at the wall, turned and squinted down at Noa's artwork. "Like a lemon with a blue center. Whose eye is that?"
Noa threw his eraser up at Mokuba. "Your eye, dummy!" Mokuba stuck out his tongue.
"Seto," Noa whined, "does this look like a lemon?" He held up his sketchbook.
"Yes. But then, I always did think Mokuba had rather lemonish eyes."
Which was when a glob of paint hit his eye.
*****
At seven sharp, the doorbell rang.
Seto opened the door to find Joey Wheeler fidgeting. Joey must have been holding it in for a long time, because he immediately blurted, "Holy shit, this place is huge!"
"It is pretty big, isn't it?"
Joey scowled. "Hadn't pinned you for the modest type."
Just as Seto was going to respond, he was interrupted.
"Seto!" Noa's voice rang through the foyer as he ran into the room. "Check out this eye! I mean, it's not where near as pretty as the real one, but..." He saw Joey and stopped. "Hi."
"You have a brother?" Joey didn't know this. Why hadn't anyone told him this?
Explaining things were one of Seto's talents. "Yes, but this isn't him." Or, maybe he wasn't so good at it.
All three of them walked into the dining room, Joey muttering various curses under his breath. He was silent, however, when he spotted the little dark-haired person at the table. If that was Seto's brother, they had to have the most beautiful parents in the world. A sexy son and a cute son? That was impossible.
As he sat down, Joey was afraid he'd walked into the twilight zone. He soon forgot about it as the cook brought out a steaming plate of...something. "You guys eat this much every night?"
Three pairs of blue eyes turned to him. "Uh, this is just the first course," the cute boy said warily. "I'm Mokuba. And you are...?"
"Joey Wheeler."
Mokuba grinned. "Wow, are you Serenity's older brother?"
"The one and only. How do you know Serenity?"
Joey watched as Mokuba beamed. "I helped her with her art project!" At this, Noa cut in with "Mokuba's the best artist in the state!"
Mokuba made a squawking noise. "I'm not that good!"
They chatted about Serenity and art for a while, although Seto stayed out of the question. Every time Joey looked at the head of the table, two icy blue eyes were fixed on him. By the third course ('gourmet' grilled-cheese sandwiches) Joey was sure that somewhere in the house, the Kaibas were playing the theme song of the Twilight Zone on some hidden radio or something.
That, or the grilled-cheese sandwiches were hallucination inducing. He remembered Kaiba's comment about dinner at his house being punishment. Watching the iceman himself interacting with two younger teenagers, Joey had to admit that maybe Kaiba was part human after all.
But, he decided quickly, he could be doing much more important things.
"Wheeler, you're drooling."
Joey wiped at his mouth, embarrassed, even more so when he discovered there was no drool. "No I'm not."
"Oh. My mistake."
Mokuba's eyes widened. He knew that tone. It was the no bullshit tone his big brother used on business clients. No one could stand up his older brother when he got into business mode.
And, judging by Joey's paled face, he knew that already.
"So, Wheeler, would you care to explain to me why you skipped our tutoring appointment today?" Kaiba asked harshly.
Joey began choking on his sandwich. Noa slapped him on the back nervously, as if he didn't know if that was the right thing to do. "Uh, you want the truth?"
Seto smirked. "If you can spare it."
"I didn't feel like it."
For a while, all was quiet. Noa and Mokuba fidgeted, nervously awaiting dessert. Joey and Seto looked nowhere but each other, and Noa nearly leapt out of his chair when Seto looked at him.
"Noa, square root of three thousand four hundred and eighty one."
"Fifty nine," Noa replied without thinking.
Seto smiled, a motion that nearly gave Joey a heart attack. "Very good." He looked back to Joey, whose color had thankfully come back. Pale was not a good color on Wheeler. 'NO color is a good color on Wheeler,' Seto told himself. Joey Wheeler was a mutt; he was not good-looking in any way. "Noa is third in his class of fifty," Seto told Joey, "and I, modest as I am, only like to claim half of that as my responsibility. In the eighth grade, I tutored Noa so that he could be accepted to one of the best private schools in the state."
Noa blushed.
"That's...cool."
Seto smirked. "Yes, I think so too." Another quiet filled the room, until Kaiba asked, "So, is everyone ready for dessert?"
A relieved chorus of 'yes' was his answer.
"So," Joey said through his mouthful of cake, "Noa," a few more chews, "you said the eyes you were drawing weren't as pretty as the real ones. Who are you drawing?"
At that point, Mokuba began choking, and Noa began choking. Somewhere in the house, someone turned up the volume on the twilight zone music, because Seto started laughing. Sorry he had even opened his mouth, Joey excused himself and ran the whole three miles home.
When he got home, he slammed the door, leaned on it, and huffed, "I really need a car."
******
Okay, that was chapter four.
Christina: that thing you liked, the cultural misunderstanding thing—that happened to me. My brother and his friend were trying to decide how all three of us could fit in his truck, when his friend said one of us could sit in the back, even though it's illegal. Well, he's part Mexican, so I suggested he do it, and if we got pulled over, he could pretend not to know English. He said he didn't quite understand, so I said, "I think we're having a cultural misunderstanding." And he said, "I think you're having a cultural misunderstanding." I just thought I'd explain where I got it. ^___^ 3
***THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS!***
Next chapter, I have NO idea what happens. Damn. But, it should be out by tomorrow night or so, so don't worry. I'll probably get to Joey and Seto's first real tutoring session, in which Joey let's loose his frustration with Seto since he didn't feel right doing it in front of Mokuba.
Oh, and possibly some Mokuba/Noa shonen-ai happenings. They're bound to realized each other's feelings soon enough, and bigmouth Joey unknowingly helped them along. Just figures he did it while eating.
The readers go reading two by two, hoorah, hoorah, the readers go reading two by two, hoorah, hoorah, the readers go reading two by two, when one reader stops to leave a review, and the readers go reading on!
So, you heard the rhyme! Review!