Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.
8. Blue Violets
The house was full of the sounds of home and family. The laughter and giggles of an all night sleepover. The slight rattle of the kettle on the stove as it warmed and began to boil. The absent chatter of the television playing in the living room. Sounds she never paid attention to, but made her house a home. Angela sat at the kitchen table, an empty mug of tea in one hand, and a piece of tattered paper in the other, staring intently into space. Those wonderful, comfortable sounds filled her heart with such warmth, but even they weren't enough to stop the icy shiver of fear from running down her spine. Her rational mind grappled with her emotions as she tried to analyze and package away all the little thoughts floating around her head. Because it really was all too much. Barry had seemed the perfect match for her, but there was no spark. With Tony, there were definitely plenty of sparks to go around, as well as lots of laughter and caring. But the thought of loving him and having a relationship with him made her feel so vulnerable and uncertain. She could easily come up with a thousand different reasons why the idea of her and Tony together as a couple was absurd. But in the end, it kept coming back to one thing – the intense joy she had felt while reading his note to her. She stroked her finger over the card again, already knowing by heart every mark and nuance of his writing. Why hadn't he given her this before?
Mona barreled into the kitchen with the flush of happiness on her cheeks and a trail of laughter flowing over her shoulder. She greeted her daughter but was met by a vague, distant response. Taking in the bathrobe, the bunny slippers, and the pint of Ben and Jerry's sitting forlornly at her daughter's elbow, she knew instantly it was time for crisis management, regardless of whatever fun was waiting for her outside on the driveway. "Oh Angela," she sighed, slumping into a nearby chair, "What have you done now?"
It didn't take long for Angela to fill her mother in on the whole story. Mona had guessed most of it by this point already. She didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out the connection between Angela's permanent bad mood and the string of recent dateless nights. But she was absolutely floored when she heard about the flowers and the card from Tony. In the back of her mind, the mention of the flowers stirred a long forgotten memory, but she quickly pushed it aside in her quest for steamy details. She'd felt the heat and instant chemistry between her daughter and her favorite housekeeper for the longest time, it was impossible not to. Somehow though, she'd always assumed that their stubbornness and fear would keep them from venturing down the romance path together. Occasionally she'd give them a push to see if they would break, but each time their resolve seemed stronger. The thought that Tony had been willing to take that step on his own was more than she could have ever hoped for. Thinking of the dead flowers, she shook her head, wondering what had stopped him this time. She stared evenly at Angela and asked, "What are you going to do about this?"
"Do, Mother? I'm not going to do anything. Tony is out tonight, probably on another date, and I'm sure the last thing he wants to do is have a heart to heart after our fight." She sighed, blinking back the tears. "Besides, he must have written this a long time ago. For whatever reason he didn't give it to me, and so I have to assume it that he meant it as merely a friendly gesture or he decided he really didn't feel that way or whatever. It doesn't mean anything now, he's moved on."
"Angela, Angela.... Think about it for a moment. Have you ever met one of Tony's dates lately, or even heard him mention anyone by name? He goes out a lot, but where does he go? He goes to study groups, or the library, or to Brooklyn with the old gang. The flowers, God knows about the flowers... Maybe he chickened out, maybe a thousand different things. But why didn't he get rid of the flowers? There has to be something more to this. You should talk to him Angela, because there's no other way you're going to figure this out."
"Oh yeah Mother, that's just what I'll do. I'll walk up to Tony tomorrow in front of the kids and say, 'How about those dead flowers. Wrote any good notes lately?' I barely see him for more than five minutes at a time these days so I'll just walk up to him and lay this heavy conversation on him. That'll work." Angela rolled her eyes in frustration.
Mona's eyes sparkled as she suggested, "Maybe you should make some time."
Instantly regretting it, she asked, "How do you suggest I do that? Follow him on a date?"
"Exactly!" Mona cheered. "Now you're talking. When he goes out tomorrow, follow him and see for yourself whether he's moved on. If he has, then you know. And if he hasn't, well, then you have the whole night to work things out."
"Mother! I couldn't!" Angela protested. She considered the card again. Almost to herself she added, "Could I?" She raised her eyes to meet her mother's in an impish grin.