Hola, Duckies!

Title: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Joey Wheeler/Seto Kaiba.  Minor: Malik/Ryou, Tristan/Serenity, Noa/Mokuba

Rating: R, eventually

Summary: Joey is a punk with sticky fingers and a horrible report card. Seto Kaiba is the smartest kid in school, and the biggest prep. Once Joey is arrested one time too many, Kaiba is assigned to be his tutor. If Joey can't get his grades up, it's off the state juvenile penitentiary.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously.

Author's Notes: WARNING: This is where the story takes an angsty turn. Of course, there will still be copious amounts of humor. Mai is going to make her appearance for more than two sentences this time, and Tristan might just show up too. Like I said, this could be a pretty long story, so it all depends on when the characters are really key to the plot. At least that's the way I see it. Hopefully this chapter will be longer, with little updates on everyone. [Ryou/Malik, Noa/Mokuba, even the Seto/Joey.] On with the reading!

:: Love hangs herself

With the bedsheets in her cell

Threw myself on fires for you

10 good reasons to stay alive

10 good reasons that I can't find.

Oh, give me a reason to be beautiful

So sick in his body, so sick in his soul

Oh and I will make myself so beautiful

Oh and everything I am

Love hates you

I live my life in ruins for you

And for all you secrets kept

I squashed the blossom and the blossom's dead

Oh, give me a reason to be beautiful

So sick in his body, so sick in his soul

Oh and I will make myself so beautiful

Oh and everything I am

Miles and miles of perfect skin

I swear I do, I fit right in

My love burns through everything

I cannot breathe

Miles and miles of perfect sin

I swear, I said, I fit right in

I fit right in your perfect skin

I cannot breathe

Hey, baby, take it all the way...down

Hey baby taste me anyway

Oh you were born

So pretty oh summerbabe

We'll never know

And fading like a rose...

Oh, give me a reason to be beautiful

So sick in his body, so sick in his soul

I'll give you my body just sell me your soul

Oh and everything I am will be bought and sold

Oh and everything I am will turn hard and cold

And they say in the end

You'll get bitter just like them

And they steal your heart away

When the fire goes out you better learn to fake

It's better to rise the fade away

Hey you were right

Named a star for your eyes

Did you freeze did you weep

Turn to gold baby, sleep

Hey honey mine

I was there all the time

And I weep at your feet

And it rains and rains…::

--Reasons to be Beautiful by Hole

Chapter Five:

***Reasons to be Beautiful***

The world from behind a camera was infinitely gray, Mai realized. At least, with her camera it was that way. Everything was perfect on the coffee table; her rock collection from third grade was arranged to form a word, just as she had planned, with a rose beside it. Around the rocks were black and white pictures from her childhood; she didn't have any in color. In the top corner, Joey and Malik grinned while sneaking up on a sleeping Mai. Below that, Tristan and Mai in matching motorcycle helmets. On the other side, Mai dressed for her first school dance, back when her dad used to tell her what a beautiful young woman she was becoming. Back before her parents stopped noticing.

To the rest of the world, how would the photograph look? Would they know that behind the lens, her tears were falling in rivers, as she pulled all of her memories into one? Click after click, tear after tear, she captured the only thing that wouldn't run away from her on the cheap roll of film inside of her old camera. 

"Oh, ew, cooties," Joey had cried after the one picture of Mai kissing her six-year-old rose petal lips to his cheek.

"Boys are the ones with cooties," she had replied matter-of-factly.

She finished the roll, sighing in relief when she was finished. She didn't want to look at it any more. Didn't want to see all of the smiling faces laughing at her tears, stuck in their happiness forever, in black in white. In the basement, she developed the pictures silently.

Upstairs, on the coffee table, sat a giant collage of memories, framing the single word 'Goodbye.'

~~~

Joey growled and pulled the book his way. Seto rolled his eyes and pulled the book back. "Look, Mutt!"

"I can't look if I can't see the book," he cried, claiming the book once more. "And don't call me mutt!"

Seto ran a hand through his hair in an agitated movement. Joey was really starting to work at his last nerves. "Can you tell me what the author is talking about?"

Surprisingly, Joey spared the English book a calculating gaze. "Love," he finally muttered.

"Thank-you, captain obvious. I suppose you gathered that from the title, 'the Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock.'" He nearly laughed when Joey suggested he shove the book up his ass, but stopped himself in time. Laughing at Wheeler's horseplay would server as encouragement, and he honestly did not want to encourage the boy any further. 

So far, all Joey had done was manage to deflate Seto's ego bit by bit. Three days of tutoring, and they had finished one poem. One poem. Seto guessed the analyzation of the poem itself would take a couple more days.

Joey grinned, which for some reason, made Seto feel a little less uptight. "So, teacher, teach me. What is Mr. Poet trying to tell me?"

"You tell me, Wheeler." He thumbed through a couple of pages. "Here, we will go passage by passage."

When he was sure he had Joey's attention, he read:

"'And would it have been worth it after all,

After the cup, the marmalade, the tea,

Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,

Would it have been worth while,

To have bitten off the matter with a smile,

To have squeezed the universe into a ball

To roll it towards some overwhelming question,

To say: 'I am Lazarus, come from the dead,

Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all'—

If one, settling a pillow by her head,

Should say: 'That is not what I mean at all.

That is not it, at all.'"

Joey couldn't breathe. If every time Kaiba opened his mouth to insult Joey poetry came out, Joey could find him much better company. The way his lips moved when he read aloud, the way his eyes became half-lidded, as if he was pulled into some deep memory just by the thought of the poem. It was so very, very perfect. Reality kicked in at that moment, reminding Joey that Kaiba did not spout poetry instead of insults.

In an annoying voice, it also reminded him he was supposed to be analyzing the poem. "Have you any thoughts, Mutt?"

Oh, he would answer right, and he would blow Kaiba away! "I think..." Joey found it a lot harder to form the thoughts into words. Still, he tried for the mere sake of wiping that smug look off of his tutors face. "I think that in the beginning, all he really wants is to love and be loved, but in that part, he just wonders if it's worth it, you know? Like maybe he will get love and realize it isn't as great as he thought it would be."

Seto scratched his head. "Now you see, Wheeler, why can't you write something like that in class? Maybe you have a brain after all. You must salvage a few brain cells with all of the small words you so frequently use."

"Was that a compliment?" Maybe when they moved on to foreign language, Seto would teach Joey Seto-speak.

The question was ignored. Seriously, Seto wondered, why would Wheeler think that he had given a compliment? He wouldn't give that punk the time of day. Except, of course, at their tutoring sessions.

Joey had bowed his head over the Lit. book, a look of intense concentration on his face. His messy blond hair fell over his forehead, some strands falling into his pretty brown eyes. He worried at his lower lip as his eyes moved side to side on the page.

Okay, so he was pretty. That was it, though. Joey Wheeler was only good for looking at, in Seto's book. After all, the boy had no depth, saw nothing but his own way. He was so fucking stereotypical Seto wanted to strangle him.

"So why does the smoke rub on things?" Seto watched, transfixed, as Joey shook the hair out of his eyes.

"Personification," he answered. "Compare it to a dog, like yourself, rubbing on things and curling up on a rug sine they can't have anything better."

"Look, asshole, just because you're rich doesn't mean you're better than me."

Seto, clichéd as it was, faked a yawn. "No, Wheeler, I'm better because I'm smarter and I'm richer, and I match when I dress."

"I match!" Which was a lie. Even Joey knew his faded brown pants didn't match his orange baseball shirt, or the glittery red belt he borrowed from Malik. The shirt wasn't his either; he had gotten it at a thrift store, because it had the name "Casey" on the back, which seemed ridiculously funny because his name wasn't Casey.

Anyway, it had been funnier two years ago when he bought it. Actually bought, too! He decided it was a little too low-class to steal from a thrift store, and he wasn't going to spend the fifty cents on anything else. 

"Wheeler, you look like you fell through your shitty apartment floor into a color-blind persons closet."

"Simile!"

Seto paused. What the hell was he talking about? "Excuse me?"

Joey couldn't believe it. He had actually learned something from the frigid iceman! "Using like or as is a simile!"

Unfortunately, Seto didn't share the excitement. "Wheeler, that's third grade material." He sort of regretted it when he saw the smile leave Wheeler's face. Still, he didn't stop. "It's too bad you can't steal knowledge, isn't it?"

"You always got to rub my imperfections in my face, dontcha?" He stood up, hovering over Kaiba. "You fucking lucky I don't rub yours in! I should just—"

"Joey!"

A stricken Malik ran into the Library, with none other than Ryou Bakura by his side. Tears were running down his face. Joey forgot about Kaiba instantly.

"Malik? What happened?" Malik Ishtar never cried, which meant something bad had happened. He pulled the shaking boy into his arms, running his hands through the dusty blond hair. Oh, God—"Is Isis all right?"

Malik's head nodded against Joey's chest. "It's Mai. She tried to kill herself." Sobs racked through his body, causing him to completely fall into Joey's arms. "She's in ICU. Joey, why didn't I notice?"

Joey had stopped breathing. Mai, his best childhood friend, had tried...He couldn't even think it. Why hadn't he noticed? Why hadn't noticed something was bothering her?

His voice broke as he spoke. "I...one of us has to call Tristan. Can we go see her?"

Malik didn't answer. Behind him, Ryou stood watching Malik, his chocolate eyes big and watery. As gently as he could, Joey pried his friend off of him and pushed him into the arms of Ryou, who accepted him with a bright blush. Malik didn't seem to notice, simply kept crying.

Seto watched from a distance as the two blond boys embraced one another and cried. Despite his curiosity, he refused to ask. It seemed he didn't really have to, either, as Joey ran over and shoved his work into his book bag. There were tears on his cheeks. "I gotta cut the session short. I'll...I'll be here tomorrow."

*******

The hospital was cold, and it smelled like soap and tears. Ryou had saved the day with his car, and the way he held Malik's hand tightly in the waiting room. Joey couldn't even move his fingers. His entire body felt numb.

"Shh, it will be alright."

"No, it won't."

"Please, please stop talking..."

"She's going to be okay."

Joey didn't even know who said what. At one point, he was sure he contributed something to the short-lived conversation. Nothing mattered, though, but Mai.

Just yesterday, Mai had laughed and joked around with him, talking about a concert she was planning to go to. It just didn't make sense. Another thing that didn't make sense was—.

"How did you know?" Joey asked quietly.

"Play practice." His voice sounded wet. "We have two hour practice every day after school. Mai...she wasn't in class, but we were getting measured for costumes today. I called her house, and Mrs. Valentine answered..."

Joey didn't want to know but had to ask. "When did it happen?"

"Her mom found her this morning...she had swallowed a lot of pills..." a few sobs escaped, "there were three envelopes in her hand. One for me, one for you, and one for T...Tristan. Oh, fuck, I'm gonna be sick!" He leapt out of his chair and towards the bathroom, with Ryou hot on his heels.

Joey continued to stare numbly at his hands. They became blurry after a moment, and he realized he was crying. What was he supposed to say to her? And oh, god, what if she didn't make it?

At some point, arms encircled his body and held him while he sobbed. Lips murmured soothingly against his ear, and he felt tears that weren't his falling onto his face. When he looked up, all that his fuzzy vision would provide was a large brown spike of hair.

Tristan had arrived.

********

"Shh, it's going to be alright," Ryou whispered. Patiently, he held Malik's hair back as he vomited, rubbing Malik's back with the other hand. He'd never had experience in that particular area, but he didn't seem to be too bad at it.

When Malik finished, Ryou sat on the floor, back against the wall, and pulled Malik into his arms. Ryou fished a breath mint out of his pocket, and handed it to the crying boy.

"Just like you British," Malik said, "always prepared."

Wrapping his arms around Malik's torso, he replied, "I do believe those are the boy scouts."

Malik laughed between sobs. "What if she dies? Ryou, she's like a sister to me!"

Ryou rested his chin on Malik's shoulder. "I'm going to tell you a sad story to console you, because that is what British people do." 

"I had a sister once." Malik sucked in a breath. Ryou continued, even though he felt his own eyes watering. "She was the most beautiful girl in the entire world. She was older than me, always teasing me. Father said that we looked so much alike, and she would tell me I looked more like a girl than she did." He laughed brokenly. "She was always teasing me so much. And then one day, I was hurt. My knee was bleeding, and I began to cry. There was so much blood...and when Mum and Father rushed me to the doctor, she held me the whole time, just like this. She didn't taunt me for crying, simply held me and told me a sad story. And...and when she and mum died, my father didn't hold me. I needed someone to hold me so badly." He tightened his arms around Malik. "I just wanted her to be there so she could hold me."

The purple-eyed boy turned in Ryou's arms. "You," he said, wiping at his eyes, "have got to be the most depressing British person I have ever met. I'd kind of like to kiss you." Oh, man! He hadn't meant to say that!

Ryou looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I...should very much like for you to kiss me. I must look a fright, though, and my—"

Malik kissed him softly. When his eyes opened, Ryou's watery brown eyes were staring at him, and he broke. With a groan, he opened his mouth against the other boys and let out all of his pain, and his fear that was bottled inside of him. The tongues met in a frenzied passion, and behind all of his worry, Malik found himself thinking that the British boy was the best kisser in the world.

By the end of the kiss, their tongues were moving together lazily. Ryou pulled back first. He was amusingly short of breath, as was Malik. "I...that wasn't just to make you feel better."

Malik pushed his face into Ryou's neck and murmured, "I know."

Desperate for something to say, Ryou blurted, "Tell me about Mai."

"Ah, but where to start?" Malik didn't sound as sad as he did before, and Ryou felt oddly proud of himself.

"How about the beginning?"

A sigh. "Well, when I first moved here from Egypt, Mai and I hated one another." He chuckled. "She was jealous that I was prettier than her, and I was jealous because she was so close to my new best friend Joey. We actually became friends in a very embarrassing way."

"Are you going to tell me about this embarrassing experience?"

"Of course. The three of us had a wicked ice cream fight at Joey's house. Being the under dresser that I am, I was the messiest. So I called first shower, and Mai decided she needed to use the little girls room. And, to quote her, 'nothing wrong with two girls seeing each other naked,' so she let herself in. She flushed the toilet, freezing my ass off, so naturally, I screamed. She pulled back the shower curtain to laugh at me, when she noticed a certain part of my anatomy she hadn't known about. Turns out she thought I was a girl. That was the first and last time a girl other than my sister has seen my dick."

"That's...the most delightful story. I rather like that, instead of the sad story."

Malik pressed a quick kiss to Ryou's lips. "Yeah, I kinda like the happy stories myself. Thank-you."

The British boy was baffled. "Whatever for?" He shifted a bit as Malik extricated himself from his arms. The stood together, face to face. Malik had never been so glad for breath mints. "Everything," he said. "I'm going to hug you now," he warned.

"Alright." The hug, as Malik had called it, was more of a death grip. So Ryou was very guiltily glad when Joey popped his head in the bathroom and said breathlessly, "She's awake!"

*******

She didn't know where she was. Judging by the pure whiteness of everything, it could have been heaven. The IV tube was a definite sign of hell, though. And the smell brought on a memory of breaking her arm when she was eight, that smell of soap and something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Why in the hell wasn't she dead. Mai was really disappointed simply because she had gone to all of the trouble beforehand, and her friends would probably kill her. So it was a lose/lose situation. Figured.

"Delivery for Mai Valentine." A Brooklyn accent wafted into the room. "I brought a nice big bouquet of 'WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?'"

Mai laughed, even though it hurt her throat. "Wow, those are my favorite flowers." Her arms were suddenly full of Joey, who straddled her and poked her cheek. "I swear to God, Mai, if you ever do this again, I will follow you."

"Me too." Mai looked up from Joey, her eyes filled with tears. Malik stood in the doorway, his arm wrapped around the boy from their theatre class. Well that was new. You go to kill yourself, and two guys get together.

"And I might do something drastic, like sell my motorcycle."

Mai nearly ripped out the IV tube. "Trist?"

Tristan sat on the edge of the bed, and pushed Joey off. "Hey babe. I leave for two months, and you go and try this." He gestured around the room. "Did you really miss me that bad?"

Mai slapped his arm. "You wish. I think this was a cry for help," she declared.

"Which is why you left us notes?" Malik was angry. They were joking like one of their best friends hadn't tried to kill herself. "Because personally, I prefer the phone for calls."

"Malik, don't be that way..." Mai frowned down at her lap. She had seriously suspected Malik would be the one making the jokes.

"How the hell am I supposed to be, Mai?" He took a deep breath. "I mean it. If you ever kill yourself, I'm following you to hell. I..." Mai looked up at them, and their purple eyes met. "I can't do this."

He ran forward and planted a kiss on Mai's forehead. "I have to go."

Mai pulled on the IV cord nervously. "I really fucked up, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Joey said, "You really did. Yu know he'll come around though. He really loves you. And you know he doesn't take loss well."

Tristan grabbed Mai's hands. "Yeah. Everything's going to be okay. I'm taking a few days off classes, so I'll be here until you're out. Then we'll take a nice long right around town."

Mai smiled. "How about we just ditch New York, lover?" 

"You pay for half the gas, and we got ourselves a deal."

Joey jumped back on the bed. "You got a third helmet?"

Mai laughed. "Yeah, right. Maybe Trist can build you one of those little side-car things, like all the sidekicks in the movie ride in."

Joey punched Tristan, who was laughing. "HEY! I'm no sidekick!" 

The three of them sat together until the nurse forced them to part. They spent all three hours pretending everything was alright.

*******

Malik sat in the passenger's seat of Ryou's car, his head hanging out the window. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ryou looked over nervously. "Are you alright?" His hand was gripping the clutch like a lifeline.

A tan hand covered Ryou's, and Malik answered, "Yeah." He rolled up his window so he could hear better. "I just needed to get that out, you know? Hey, if you need to do it, I'll hold the wheel while you do it."

Aghast, Ryou spluttered, "I most certainly will not!"

Amused lilac eyes met his in the rear-view mirror. "I know. Hey..." He rubbed his thumb over Ryou's pale fingers. "We're okay, right? You and me?"

"Of course."

"So...it's been a long day."

Ryou narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Yes…?" Fingers curled into his hair, and he had to transfer both hands to the wheel.

"Want to spend the night at my place? You know," he said quietly, "comfort me with some depressing stories if I have nightmares."

Well. "I suppose I could. I don't know about in Egypt, but where I come from, we wear clothes to bed, so no getting off!"

It seemed another cultural misunderstanding occurred as Malik began coughing. "Right…I usually just go for cuddling anyway. And, err, what do you mean, getting off?"

"Oh, you know," at Malik's silence, Ryou said meekly, "Like, kissing, and sex and whatnot."

Laughter filled the car, and Malik planted a sloppy wet kiss on Ryou's cheek. "Don't worry. Nothing above PG rating, okay?" He gave directions to his apartment building in between giggles. "Oh, and I have to warn you, I'm a violent sleeper."

If it was possible, Ryou paled.

As they turned off on the exit to Malik's place, he thought about Mai. While he felt guilty he hadn't stayed and tried to make her feel better, he just didn't think he could face any of that at the moment. It seemed greedy, but, Malik though, what Mai did was infinitely more selfish, because she almost took a beautiful woman and a wonderful friend out of the world. And Malik couldn't forgive something like that.

He shook his head. It was time for happy thoughts.

"So," he looked over at Ryou, "you ever had a tofu-burger?"

Ryou looked over, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

Thus began the Gay Vegetarian Egyptian revolution. Or something like that.

*********** 

Wooooooo! I can't believe I did that to Mai! *rubs eyes* I really did it!

I know I'm posting this early, and it's 5:45 am, so there are probably a LOT of typos.

Anyway, if I'm not asleep by this afternoon, I'll be working on chapter six! Hooray!

In which Mokuba and Noa come and study with Seto and Joey. It will be some sort of odd gay quartet thing. Hmm. Yes, it sounds perfect, doesn't it. And come on, who wants me to put in the Ryou/Malik sleepover??

Noa and Mokuba should probably get together, too. Which amazingly, will leave me to write Joey and Seto for the duration of the fic, and some very minor Serenity/Tristan. You know what? I might not even write it. I might just HINT at it.

Okay, seriously, wasn't Ryou the cutest thing in the world? I love him so much.

But I certainly don't heart him as much as I heart Joey.

If you click that button down there, you can tell me just how much you heart me. Go on, I triple dog dare you.