Disclaimer- Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
Money, money, money, lots of money, in a rich man's world!
~*Previously of ASBAON*~ Getting closer to the island, Sam attacks Gillette YAY, Sam gets hurt yet again but it ain't very bad.
~*Final Line*~ - They both erupted in giggles, if only they knew that this may be the last time they giggled uncontrollably like that…for a long time.
To my WONDERFUL reviewers
Miekje - Ooohhhh I like being original…yeah about that, a few people have asked me that you find out in chapt 17, and Jack knew before cause…he's really smart *nods* kinda…thanks…I think.
Serilia – Thanks *blushes* I like their relationship too…but I wonder what will happen to it though…hmmmm, Yeah I thought, if anyone was around a person like Sam they couldn't be stuck up all the time because, I mean, if you were around some one like that, you just couldn't control yourself could you…yeah or something like that…besides it's usually the good side of Nozza you see, and I really didn't want too…hehehe
PyrateReba – I think I know…wait…no I don't, I guess it's what ever my fingers come up with at the time, *walks over to Legolas who it tied up with some chains and is gagged and pokes with a stick* LLEEGGGOOOLLLAASSSS say hello to the nice reviewer…DOOO IIITTTT *moans* Err hello PyrateReba…help me she's insane... *gags him again* Oh Leggy when will you learn.
Amanda – YES see I knew you'd agree hmmm there is a great possibility that if we did that it would become a big blob…but if at first you don't succeed try, try again. YES PIXIE STIX THEY ARE THE FOOD OF THE GODS!!! Yes I agree totally with you *Shows Legolas the review…or parts of it anyway, and he pulls a face and starts to laugh* Oh your laughing now are you, huh? You wont be laughing for long…just you wait until I finish these reviews *Legolas gulps* that's right you'd better gulp…oh good then I don't feel so bad about the length of my absences now!
Evanescence Dreams – Your FAVOURITE!!!! WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *does a dance, while the elves look on, with very scared expressions* oh no the elves are fine, *looks at the 3 huddled/chained elves* its ok, I will help them, OMG I WANT THE POSTER!!!!!! MMMMM I'm picturing it right now…oh well it's ok I have a Mega Huge poster of Leggy riding a horse in Two Towers and HUGE one of Orlando Bloom just looking sexy, and heaps more including Jack, leggy, Will and Orli and …hehehe…guess what they are all on my roof so I can watch them as I go to sleep. I think Elrohir would like something, it seems he is always complaining about that…can't wait to see what it is.
Zeldagrl436 – Oh he is in one peace alright, MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *cough* I mean *freaky raptor/parrot noise* and you'll find out soon *looks around shiftily*
LotRseer3350 - *types in the mailing form* yep when ever Dimonah Tralon is done he will be on his way, all ready for you and for whatever you need done *wink, wink*
Dimonah Tralon – Hmm I was just talking about you, hehehe, oh you don't have to give Jack back, but I wouldn't mind seeing him again *looks wistfully* maybe just once, I miss his drunk slur…oh well as long as you are having fun…oh and he might have to make a small trip to south Carolina eventually…whenever you are ready…oh be careful of "Super roommates Of Death" they are dangerous I should know *shows a scar*
Sweet A.K – Oh if you like that, then you will like this chapt, gets good at the end…I think, yes SHINY things are very good aren't they, especially elf hair *strokes closest elf* Good elf. It would seem Gondor Boy isn't much fun is he, you need to give him a drink, me thinks. Oh you'll find out about that very soon…maybe…I think, hmmm I know it makes my hectic life seem all the worth while just to come home *smiles at elves who are all tied up* hmmm ticklish elves ey? *elves exchange worried looks* right under the rib cage *writes it all down in a notebook* right then! *walks over to Elladen who is trying to squirm away, and pokes him* ppiikk HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA again, again, ppiikk HAHAHAHAHA again, again, ppiikk HAHAHAHAHA again, again, ppiikk HAHAHAHAHA *notices tears in his eyes* hmmm better stop, for now, yeah I've taken their weapons as well, all hidden, so they can't find them…YEAH PIXIE STIX ooohhhh meanie ol' Haldir taken 'em away, find more and make sure Faramir gets A LOT of them, yeah bouncing is much fun, why not bounce especially off walls if he doesn't like it he can…strip for you…hehehe…I know you'd like that *wink* YAY MY FIC IS ALL GREAT!!!!!! I must also tickle my elves…hehehe *walks over to Leggy and pokes him* JJIIIPPPP HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA AGAIN, JJIIIPPPP HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA AGAIN, JJIIIPPPP HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA *Walks over to Elrohir and pokes him* RRREEEPPP MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA MORE, RRREEEPPP MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA MORE, RRREEEPPP MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA apparently they make different noises.
101 reviews people…PARTY TIME!!!!!!
*looks at the elves* Now see what happens when you make me do work and take my Pixie Stixs *they all nod solemnly* Good Now if you all want to be let out you will be good and nice to me OK.
Maybe if you are quite I will let you go…after I write this chapter.
*Leggy's mind* She must be stopped, she can't keep tying us up like this, WE ARE ROYALTY so what AH what are you doing in my head? Don't you know leggy…I AM EVERYWHERE!!! Oh no
*Elladen's mind* this has gone much too far what has? Who said that? It was ME AH GET OUT OF MY HEAD Ummm NO
*Elrohir's mind* Da na na na na HEY da na na na…I wonder if she'll share those suger stix…they look yummy Hello Elrohir Hey Aus Do you want some Pixie Stix Yes Please how come you are not freaked out by this By What? By oh never mind…I always knew you were insane Shhhhh I'm talking to the purple kangaroo! Sure you are
A Story by Any Other Name
The sun slowly set turning the island that sat a few kilometres in front of them, the island that was usually black, was basked in beautiful reds and gold, these colours were also hitting the ship turning the girls hair into shining golden waves and the crew's dirt into crusty…err…gold. Sam was standing with Jack when something hit her…literally.
"Ow" Sam grabbed her shoulder as the small bird, dazed, continued to flutter around until it had its bearings then shot off into the now night sky.
"Ye all right luv?" Jack asked with a worried expression and rubbing her shoulder.
"Yeah…just shocked" She said with a smile "Trust it would be me that would get hit by the only bloody bird around here"
"But isn't that ye bad shoulder?" Jack asked moving the bandage away.
"Nope, see, all better now" She smiled at his serious expression which broke into a smile as soon as he saw that it was indeed healed.
"So it is, well then there's nothing holding ye back now" Jack smiled and raised an eyebrow, Sam saw the look on his face.
"Jack, you dirty pirate…I like the way you think" She said with the same expression etched on her face, Jack just laughed and gave her an almighty hug.
"Oh that's nice, I like hugs" Sam said hugging him back with equal strength, suddenly Jack started tickling her which made her scream out loud with laughter. "NO…ahhhh…Jack…Stop…AHHH" Jack was now sitting on top of her holding down her wriggling form as he continued to tickle her. The only thing that stoped Jack was Norrington's lingering form above them.
"Mr Sparrow, that would be quite enough" Norrington sighed, watching the two.
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow" Jack sighed helping Sam to her feet.
"What's wrong Jimmy?" Sam asked to Norrington's shocked face.
"Jimmy, did you just call me Jimmy?" He asked to her smiling face.
"Mmmmm possibly" She said uncertainly, Norrington looked at her then turned sharply on his heal, he was about to walk away when he remembered what he originally came here for.
"Sparrow…"Jack growled under his breath "…We shall be arriving soon so I suggest you follow me, and as for you, Miss Turner, please wait with Elizabeth" and with that he walked back over to the governor to discuss the plan.
"Best be off now, pet, best no get Jimmy's knickers in a twist" Jack laughed giving Sam one last kiss before heading off. Sam wondered over to Lizzy, who was watching the island get closer.
"Not long now, ey?" Sam noticed Elizabeth's tear stained cheeks.
"I only hope it's not too late" Elizabeth sighed Sam enveloped her in a hug.
"Oh Lizzy, It's alright, I know he is alright" Sam said pulling back and giving Elizabeth a warm smile.
"But how do you really know?" She asked looking into Sam's deep green eyes.
"Trust me when I say I know" Sam said tapping her heart "and besides when have I ever steered you wrong?"
"Well, there was that one time when you told me that the Commodore was really my father and that the lady that lives under the docks was really my mother, and when you told me that real ladies sleep under their beds, and when you told me that the horse droppings outside where ingredients that the cook had dropped and that they had to be served at the ball that night…" Elizabeth was watching Sam as she held onto the railing, trying not to fall over with laughter.
"I remember that night, 150 people ate what they thought were cakes, and when they complained that they were grassy, I told them that these were new herb cakes, that people over in England were eating them now because they were good for your heart…and they believed it, remember how many people asked for the recipe? And no one ever knew" Sam gasped; she noticed that Elizabeth's face was less grim as before. "Don't worry Lizzy, he is alright, besides Jack will save him, I know it"
"I hope you are right" Elizabeth sighed
"Of corse I'm right, I'm always right!" Sam said with her hands on her hips, Elizabeth laughed softly.
"Yes, you usually are" She said in defeat.
*************************************************************************************************
As they crept closer to the dark island, the crew seemed to be shaking in their boots at the sight of the great Black Pearl. Sam, though, was practically jumping around the deck; she was full of energy to say the least. She had been randomly attacking crew members for the past hour to pass time, jumping out from behind barrels and tackling them to the ground, the poor crew didn't know what hit them because as soon as they had regained their bearings Sam was long gone, hidden once again waiting for her next victim. Once or twice she had gotten Gillette, and when that happened she always managed to land a punch or two in his gut before disappearing. The only problem was when she went after Jack, who had been watching her the whole time so he knew what she was doing, as soon as she had jumped out from behind the stairs aimed at his ankles he jumped up and she went sliding underneath, which gave him the opportune moment to pin her down and tickle her until she gave in. This only happened once because soon Jack was also in on the gag, he distracted the crewmen while she attacked. This continued until Norrington decided that for the safety of his crew that she would be tied to the mast for the rest of the trip. But that to didn't last long, she managed to twist herself around so that she was facing the mast and proceeded to climb up it, Norrington didn't even notice until she called him from the top of the mast, still tied to it and everything but about 60 feet up. Seeing that physical restraint didn't work he had really no other choice but to let her run herself out, which didn't seem to be working.
"Are we there yet?" Sam asked bounding up to Norrington
"Not, as yet Miss Turner but we…"
"What about now?"
"No, we are…"
"How about…now?"
"No, we are about…"
"Are we there now?"
"NO we are NOT there YET!" Norrington yelled causing a few men to jump, but Sam still challenged him.
"You know you go purple when you get angry" Sam smiled into his raging face.
"Really? Well did you know that you are extremely infuriating?" Norrington Growled
"Yeah, I've been told that a few times…mainly by you, but you are wearing a nappy on your head so I don't have to listen to you, ice cream man"
"What?!? Of course you have to listen to me I am the Commodore of the Royal English Fleet" Gasped Norrington
"Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that Jimmy" Sam turned away from the fuming Commodore and screamed in a very, very high pitch voice "LLLIIIIZZZZYYYY, LLLLLLIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZYYYYYYY WHERE AAARRREEE YOOOOOUUUU?"
"Grrrr" Norrington growled and turned to Jack "We are going ashore"
"WHAT" Jack yelled over the noise Sam was making in the background.
"WE ARE GOING ASHORE" He yelled back and indicated to the boats already being lowered with soldiers in them.
"OH!" Jack said following him to the boat.
As they were rowing away they heard the distinct screech of Sam screaming "WHAT ABOUT ME, IT ISN'T FAR, I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW I WANT MY SHARE*…HEY! HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING!!!?"
"It's a miracle that the pirates don't already now we're here" Sighed Norrington. They sat there for a while watching the cave entrance, Norrington was getting very nervous.
"I don't care for the situation. Any attempt to storm the caves could turn to an ambush" Norrington said, not taking his eyes off the cave.
"Not if ye're the one doing the ambushing. I go in, I convince Barbossa to send his men out with their little boats. Ye and yer mates return to the Dauntless and blast the bejesus outta them with yer little cannons, eh?" Jack leant forward and slipped an arm about Norrington's shoulders "What do ye have to lose?
"Nothing I'd lament being rid of" Snarled Norrington.
Jack was completely unaffected by the tone of his voice and continued "Now, to be quite honest with ye, there's still a slight risk for those aboard the Dauntless which includes the future Mrs. Commodore and me luv"
"Hmm you are right, Gillette make your way back to the ship and keep guard…and do make sure that they are safe, understood?" Norrington yelled, quietly, to the boat opposite him.
"Understood, Commodore" Gillette saluted and started his boat off in the direction of the Dauntless.
"Alright now you men in that boat and you men in that one…" Norrington ordered him men in to the surrounding boats "Now, Sparrow…" he saw Jack mouth Captain but chose to ignore it "…take this boat and keep to your end of the deal, understood?"
"Inescapably" Jack said positioning himself in his boat and rowing in the cave entrance, looking very smug with himself.
*******************************MEANWHILE**********************************
"Bloody damn, Bloody hell, bloody Jack, bloody Jimmy, Bloody Pirates…" Sam was storming around on deck, fuming about being left behind, a few minutes before Elizabeth had to hold Sam back from jumping into the shark infested water.
"What language!" The Gov. huffed as he watched Elizabeth try and calm her down
"Look, here comes a boat" Elizabeth said pointing towards the incoming boat. Sam squinted at the boat and sighed.
"It's only bloody Gillette, who cares" She said storming off into the cabin leaving the others to greet the men that had returned.
"Commodore has ordered that you be placed in safe keeping" Gillette announced once he had climbed aboard.
"What? Why?" Elizabeth gasped
"Because he fears for your safety, now where is Miss Turner?"
"She has resided in her cabin…" The Gov. said stepping up.
"MY safety, what about theirs…" Elizabeth started to yell as Gillette signalled to another soldier to help him; they both grabbed her by the arms and took her to the cabin.
"Coward! The commodore ordered – I have to tell him! The pirates! They're cursed! They cannot be killed!" Elizabeth struggled against them until they pushed her into the cabin where Sam stood up and came over to Elizabeth.
"Don't worry, miss, he's already informed of that. A little mermaid flopped up on deck and told him the whole story." Gillette sneered, but before he could do anything else, Sam punched him one right in the nose.
"Wanker" she said as she closed the doors, ignoring his screams of pain.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
* 'What about ME' – Shannon Noll (Runner up in Aussie Idol)
I like that song…*looks at the elves* alright I suppose I should let you out now, ey? *the elves nodded*
Alright *she unties the elves and un-gags them* Better?
Much
Now Elrohir here you go *gives him 16 Pixie Stix* Now eat them all quickly, I'll race you, ready…set…GO! *they down all the Stix*
I WIN…WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
MMMMWWWWAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHA *cough* I mean *raptor/parrot noise*
Oh No
Maybe we should hide for a while
I think so *they disappear up the stairs*
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA … hey…how do you make that noise?
What noise?
The scary parrot one
Oh well, suck air into the back of your throat so that your windpipe sort of closes and then the air squeezed past making the noise *makes the noise*
AHHH I see *Tries* didn't work
Practice makes perfect.
*Upstairs, they can hear the noise*
Oh my Valar
I'm glad we left
*Noise gets closer*
Oh No I think they are coming
*They hide in a cupboard until they see an eye in a crack*
'Ello Boys