Disclaimer- Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes
Hmmm six toes 'ey? Hang on a second…only 6 toes, like 3 on each foot??
~*Previously of ASBAON*~ Sam's shoulder heals, Jack and Jimmy made their way to the cave…without Sam, Sam went mental and YAY SAM PUNCHES GILLETTE!!!!!
~*Final Line*~ - "Wanker" she said as she closed the doors, ignoring his screams of pain.
TO ME WONDERFUL REVIEWERS
Candeebarz – YAY someone who ignores my bad grammar and spelling hehehe, I luv making her make fun of Gillette especially when it's physical.
LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – Yeah I went to that site yesterday…I think, and I've started to read the stories there (up to "First Meetings") and I really like the way they write, Jack was here but now he is travelling, he is dropping in today for a day or two then heading to South Carolina for a while, I'm glad your friend likes the story…HI FRIEND OF L.G.G-E (that's you) that's right spread the word, tell everyone…*in hushed voice* and soon I will rule the world and everyone will fear/love me and…*Elves give her a worried look* What?!?
Dimonah Tralon – Coolies Jack's Coming BACK…for a while anyway, he can stay here for a while then head off, I actually think I miss the hot guy *wipes tear and runs to the elves* Hey guys guess what? Jack's on his way back…how cools that *crickets chirp* well? *all at same time* yeah great that's the spirit.
Crazy Llama – Sure I'll review your stories, I always check out my reviewers' stories and eventually if there are any that strike an interest I will review them etc.
LotRseer3350 – Hehehe everyone Hates Gillette, ooohhhh Shakespeare…I think, Oh Jack will be there soon, he's dropping in today for a day or two then heading your way so keep a weathered eye out and you'll see a drunken pirate on the horizon soon enough…practice is a virtue…I wonder what that means? Oh look a dictionary AND a thesaurus all in one…*flicks though the pages*…s, t, u, v…ahhhh here we are VIRTUE – noun 1 moral goodness; a particular form of this, 2 a good quality. Hmm AKA decency, goodness, honesty…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH bloody boring you are just gonna have to chill he'll be there soon.
Hmmm only 5 reviews…oh well *runs around randomly yelling* Blastoff!!
What's wrong with her, Leggens?
Did you just call me Leggens?
Umm no
YES YOU DID I AM *interrupted*
~*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*~ AAAAHHHHHH HE'S HERE!!!!!!!
Why is she freaking out?
*sighs* Jack is back
'Ello Luv *Aus tackles Jack* I see ye missed me
JACK, YAYAYAYAYA, We've missed you!
No we haven't, it has been semi quite around here
Leppy that was mean
Did you just call me Leppy?
Yes, you overgrown leprechaun! *Legolas walks away grumbling*
'Tis all right Luv, as long as you missed me?
Course I did! I got you some rum!
Ahhh Luv, ye the greatest
So how was your trip?
Interesting
Oh?
She was a very…entertaining girl *smirks*
Hmmm, sounds fun
Oh hello Jack!
'Ello Elladen
It is Elrohir
Sorry
YAY TIME FOR A PARTY!!!!!!!! Hey Jack try these *passes him a pixie stix and eats 10 herself*
Interesting
It's good isn't it; Elrohir likes them to don't you?
Yeah they are very nice.
* Unknown to the other two; they continue to eat many pixie stix until they start to talk gibberish*
Hjoidnud ishadanjewir?
Hijimasbe HAHAHAHAHA NINE
Bwearps sevenlegs kautoo
Hierhert milkseerk
LOOPYINGHIR GREEEEP
Kakumanda boosha
~CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE~
*they laugh insanely*
A Story By Any Other Name
"SAMANTHA RHAPSODY HASTE TURNER, Why did you just punch him?" Elizabeth screamed at Sam, who was tearing the sheets to pieces.
"Because he was being a dickhead that's why" Sam said a matter of factually.
"Oh really?" Elizabeth sneered, she waited for a reply but Sam was focused on tearing all the sheets in the room up and tying them together. "What are you doing?" She asked giving up on the current argument.
"Baking a cake" Sam quipped finishing the last knot "Whatchya reckon I'm doing?"
"You are making a rope using the Commodore's best sheets" Elizabeth sighed as Sam started to clap enthusiastically.
"Yay, you are not a dumb blond" Sam stood up and started to throw the long "rope" out of the window.
"And why have you made this rope?" Elizabeth asked walking over to Sam and looking out of the window.
"Well, I plan to let to go and help Jack save Will, then hurt Jack for leaving me here, then make up with Jack, then hurt Jimmy, then make up with Jack again, say "hi" to Will and the end the night by making up with Jack again" Sam said with a smile as she tied the end of the rope to the balcony railing.
"Oh really?" Elizabeth asked sarcastically.
"Yep and you're gong to help me!" Sam pulled her towards the window.
"No, Sam NO let go, why?" Elizabeth said grabbing hold of the railing. Sam turned to her.
"Sam don't you dare" Elizabeth warned "that face will not work with me"
Sam put on her puppy dog pout and made her eyes well up "Pwease Ewizabif, woo are my bestest fwend"
"Ooohhhh I hate it when you do that" Sam's face broke out into a smile.
"Yay Lizzy, I knew you wouldn't let me down, Now let's go" Sam jumped over the railing, shimmied down the makeshift rope and landed in the small row boat below. Elizabeth followed closely behind.
"Wait, we need more help" Elizabeth said stopping from rowing off towards the cave.
"By JEBUS you are right" Sam exclaimed and looked around, she caught Elizabeth's eye as they both looked at the Black Pearl.
**************************************************************************************************
"…Row, row,
row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life
is but a dream.
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream if you see a
bloodthirstyskeletonpirate, don't forget to scream.
Row, Row, Row your boat…"
"SAM SHUT UP!" Elizabeth yelled softly as they approached the ship, which looked extremely eerie in the moonlight. They got closer and closer to the eerily quite ship, as they started to climb the side of the ship they heard raised voice from inside the ship.
"Right! What would you pick to eat first?"
"I think we should decide now. Just so we're ready when the time comes."
The girls peered into the porthole and saw two pirates arguing about what they were going to eat first. Sam made a face at Elizabeth and they continued to climb the side of the ship. They reached the deck only to be surprised by Jack (The MONKEY) swinging down in front of them. Elizabeth looked like she was about to poop (hehehe poop is funny) her pants but then realised that the monkey wasn't going to do her any real harm, Sam meanwhile was trying to catch him and hug him. Elizabeth let out a sigh and decided to stop Sam form making too much noise so she grabbed Jack and threw him overboard; unfortunately he managed to hit the cannon on the way down. Elizabeth saw this and also saw the two pirates stick their heads out and look around.
"Whatchya Do that for?" Sam hissed at Elizabeth as she pulled Sam towards the doorway.
"Shuddup and c'mon the pirates are on their way up" she hissed in return. They run down the first set of stairs and hid in a small passage way as the pirates run past. They proceed to make their way down into the hull of the ship.
"Shh!" They heard a voice hiss as the approached the holding area. They ran in to see a cell holding at least 20 pirates! "It's Elizabeth! And… another women" One of them says.
"Shh look lively now" Sam chirps to the grubby pirates who look at her strangely.
"What?" she asks "Look we're getting you out aren't we?" They all nod in and murmured in agreement. Elizabeth came over and unlocked the cell door.
"There are still two pirates on deck so we have to be careful" Elizabeth said heading up the stairs.
"Lizzy dear, I…have…a…plaaan" Sam sang as she bounced up the stairs after Elizabeth. The pirates sighed and followed them up the stairs. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Sam told them her plan and they put it into action. As soon as the evil pirates were on the other side of the ship, they snuck out behind the small boat that was on deck and waited till the evil pirates were looking over the railing into the water, then they propelled the small boat at them, sending them overboard in small pieces.
"YAY my plan worked!!" Sam cheered as they all rejoiced. Elizabeth did not cheer for long because soon she was getting the boat reading to row back to the cave. Sam meanwhile was dancing around with the smaller pirate of the bunch.
"All of you with me. Will is in that cave and we must save him. Ready? And heave!" Elizabeth ordered but the pirates stopped cheering and just looked at her, the sudden quietness awakened Sam from her dancing and made her pay attention. "Please, I need your help! Come on!" she pleaded.
"Any port in the storm" Cotton's parrot squawked.
"Cotton's right, we've got the Pearl" Mr Gibbs said very calmly trying not to anger Elizabeth anymore.
"And what about Jack, you're just going to leave him?" She yelled at the retreating pirates
"Jack owes us a ship" Said Bruce (I like that name, "'ello my name's BRUCE" hehehe very Aussie) the smaller pirate.
"And there's the code to consider" Mr Gibbs said patriotically.
"The code? You're pirates. Hang the code, and hang the rules! They're more like guidelines anyway." Elizabeth looked around at the faces of the pirates, she could see by the look on their faces that they were not going to help.
"I'll help ya Lizzy, as always!" Sam said stepping forward and helping Elizabeth with the boat.
"Ya know the least yous could do is help get this into the water" Sam said through clenched teeth as the pulled on the rope.
"Aye, that we can do" Gibbs said, gathering some of the pirates together, they helped to get the boat into and setting them on their way.
"Bloody pirates" Elizabeth growled as she rowed.
"Yeah, but think about it, in the long run, it is a good thing. Trust me on this" Sam said they rowed into the mouth of the cave.
********************************************************************************************
As they crept closer to the sword fight that was happening in the cave, they watched as both Will and Jack took on the blood thirsty pirates, all of a sudden Elizabeth grabbed the golden staff that was leaning up next to them and darted out from behind the large pile of treasure.
"Elizabeth, where are you going?" She yelled after her, she wasn't worried about anyone hearing her because all those she could see were too busy fighting to pay any attention.
"I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain" The pirate Will was fighting growled.
"Do you like pain?" Elizabeth asked as she knocked the pirate out with the staff "Try wearing a corset" she quipped, Elizabeth helped Will up and looked over at Jack "Whose side is Jack on?" she asked Will, who just shrugged.
"At the moment?" He said with a smile. All of a sudden Bo'sun charged at them from behind, they didn't have enough time to turn around and block the blow that was about to hit. Luckily Sam who had seen Bo'sun charge darted out in front of them.
"'Ello 'ello 'ello" Sam grinned as she blocked Bo'sun's blow just in front of Will.
"You" he growled and started to lash out at her "We've got something to finish"
"That we do" Sam agreed and pushed him away from her so that they had enough room to fight. They exchanged blows, both moving at incredible speeds; Sam was calling on all her experience to help her fight. Bo'sun was on the offensive while Sam was on the defensive. Their clanging of swords echoed throughout the cave. Sam was able to dodge anything he tried to hit her with, which frustrated him to no end.
"Stand still" he growled as he lashed out, but as Sam jumped back out of the way, she landed wrong on her leg and felt her kneecap slid out of it's socket.
"AHHH" she screamed as she fell back onto a great mound of treasure. This was the chance Bo'sun wanted, he lunged at her. Even though she was in great pain, she managed to kick out and catch him in the stomach, sending him backwards.
"ARRGG" She growled, there were tears streaming down her face as she grabbed the kneecap and with one violent motion tugged it back into place. Sam let out a sigh of relief and pain and she sat back, but her rest did not last for long as Bo'sun had regained his bearings and was charging at her again. Sam lifted her sword and aimed at his neck and in one swift motion she sliced his head clean off, but he did not go down without a fight, as his body fell, he managed to bring his sword across her stomach. She did not feel this though as the pain from her knee had numbed her body considerably.
"Take that you mongrel" She spat as she kicked his head around like a soccer ball. "That's right! how ya do like that" As she kicked the disembodied head around she noticed that every time that it went in moonlight it turned skeletal. "OOOHHHH" Suddenly she started to sing in a giddy tone.
"I've got a lovely bunch
of coconuts, tidily, didilly.
There they are a standing in a row, 1 2 3 4.
Big ones, Small one…ONES AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD"
But soon she got over excited and booted it halfway across the cave. At this point she noticed that the other pirates had disappeared and Will was climbing the golden mountain towards the Aztec gold. She turned around to find Barbossa standing behind her.
"BARBRA!" She squealed, until she saw that he was pointing a gun at her. "Oh" Suddenly she couldn't move and then she heard the sound that she had been dreading.
BANG!!
Sam looked around and found that Barbossa had not shot her but instead Jack had shot Barbossa instead.
"Ten years you carry that pistol, and now you waste your shot." Barbossa sneered at Jack who still remained calm, in a very, VERY hot way.
"He didn't waste it." Will piped up, Sam looked at him.
"Nice of ya to join us, Willy" Sam quipped and saw Will roll his eyes. Everyone turned to Barbossa who ripped his shirt open and showed blood spreading from his wound.
"I feel…cold" Barbossa said as he fell backwards, dead on the gold mound.
"Yep…dying will do that to ya" Sam said watching him fall.
"Way to ruin a moment" Elizabeth said turning towards Sam "Oh, you're hurt" at those words Jack rushed over.
"Luv, are ye ok" he said looking at her wound on her stomach.
"Oh no that's not me that's Bo'sun's blood" Sam said unknowingly that it was actually her blood.
"Oh ok as long as ye are alright" He said pulling her into a passionate kiss, which was interrupted by a high pitched scream.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER!!?"
The two broke apart and smiled at each other.
"Oh Will, you should see what we do in private" Sam cooed squeezing Jack's arse in full view of Will.
"Oh My God!! That is…I can't…what…how…AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" Will leapt off the treasure mound and started to walk towards the cave exit.
"Oh Will" Elizabeth sighed as she followed him, to try and calm him down.
"Ooooooohhhhhhh pretty" Sam started to walk over to a pile of jewels but she took one step and collapsed.
"Luv" Jack said as he rushed over to her side. "What's wrong?"
"I seemed to have hurt my leg…oh that's right I dislocated my knee while fighting Bo'sun…hehehe seems I can't walk" Sam giggled and smiled at Jack, who picked her up.
"It's alright Luv, I'll carry ye everywhere and anywhere" Jack smiled down at her.
"You're so sweet…OK, well let's grab some treasure and skedaddle" She laughed. They wondered around the treasure piles and picked up things here and there. Sam put a crown on Jack and he gave her a sapphire ring. As they made their way over to the other two they heard the latter part of their conversation.
"We should return to the Dauntless" Elizabeth said trying to get close to Will.
"Your fiancé will be wanting to know you're safe" Will said sadly as Elizabeth started out of the cave.
"If you were waiting for the opportune moment…that was it" Jack said, sauntering up with Sam in his arms.
"You wanker" Sam sighed looking at Will from over Jack's shoulder.
"Don't get me started on you two" Will said walking after them.
They all got in the boat and started to row towards the Dauntless, Jack sighed and looked at the place where his ship was meant to be.
"I'm sorry, Jack" Elizabeth said
"They done what's right by them. Can't expect more than that" Jack sighed and looked down at Sam in his arms.
"Luv, ye look a little pale" He said worryingly, Sam looked up at him and smiled.
"Yeah, feel…weird…too…" She said as she blacked out in his arms.
"Luv, LUV" Jack said a she started to shake her, that's when he noticed the increasingly more amount of blood appearing on her stomach. He moved the cloth away to find a very deep sword wound across her body.
"Oh My God" Elizabeth Gasped when she saw it.
"Quick Will, get to the Dauntless as fast as ye can" Jack said encouragingly, but Will didn't need it, he was already rowing as fast as he could.
"Hold on, Luv. We're almost there" Jack whispered to the lifeless form in his arms.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Look at that, a nice 2,000 words, do ya feel special.
Oh MY GOD people it is almost OVER!!!!! But don't fret because there is going to be sequel…there HAS to be a sequel…hmmm I wonder what I mean by that.
It's a bit of a bummer cause everyone has gone to bed, Jack is jetlagged and weeeellllll we kinda ran the elves out.
~*FLASHBACK*~
Jack, Aus and Elrohir are chasing Leggy and Elly through the garden trying to "BRAID" their hair. Then Jack tried to 'seduce' Aus but Leggy stopped him…not sure why???
MAYBE HE LIKES ME…WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY
Well that was a boring ending thing…I'm sorry maybe I should wake them up for you…but then again…
~*FLASHBACK*~
Aus tries wake up Leggy (take a wild guess) and is thrown across room.
Tries to wake up Elly (Elladen) but is thrown across the room.
Attempts to wake up Hairy (Elrohir) but is…yep you guessed it…thrown across the room (apparently they like to sleep)
In the final attempt, tries to wake Jack up and is given a Snog…
Actually I think I will go and wake Jack up.
CIAO