Ciao, Duckies!
Title: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Joey Wheeler/Seto Kaiba. Minor: Malik/Ryou, Noa/Mokuba, teensy bit of Mai/Isis
Rating: R, eventually
Summary: Joey is a punk with sticky fingers and a horrible report card. Seto Kaiba is the smartest kid in school, and the biggest prep. Once Joey is arrested one time too many, Kaiba is assigned to be his tutor. If Joey can't get his grades up, it's off the state juvenile penitentiary.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously.
Author's Notes: I sincerely hope this is the last chapter. Not that I don't enjoy writing it, because I do. It's just so...lacking. Damn. I'm looking to get Mai and Isis together in this chapter, but nothing graphic, just maybe planning a date or something like that. Noa and Mokuba will make no appearance in this chapter, and Ryou's place might be small. I just don't want anyone to be disappointed. Joey and Kaiba get nice and heated in the back alley of the club after the music dies down, so...
Dedication: Christina, this one goes to you, baby. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Oh, and I hope you like the song I picked.
::Maybe when the room is empty, maybe when the bottles full,
maybe when the door get broke down love can break in.
Maybe when I'm done with thinking, maybe you can think me whole,
Maybe when I'm done with endings this can begin.
If you could be my punk rock princess I would be your garage band king.
You could tell me why you just don't fit and how you're gonna be
Something.
Maybe when your hair gets dark, maybe when your eyes get wide,
Maybe when the walls are smaller there will be more space.
Maybe when I'm not so tired, maybe you could step inside
Maybe when I look for things that I can't replace.
If you could be my punk rock princess I would be your garage band king.
You could tell me why you just don't fit and how you're gonna be
Something.
If I could be your first real heartache I would do it over again.
If you could be my punk rock princess, I would be your Heroine.
I never thought you'd last, I never dreamed you would.
You watch your life go past, you wonder if you should.
If you could be my punk rock princess I would be your garage band king.
You could tell me why you just don't fit and how you're gonna be
Something.
If I could be your first real heartache I would do it over again.
If you could be my punk rock princess, I would be your Heroine.
Whoa ohhhh, you know, you only burn my bridges,
Whoa ohhhh, you know, you just can't let it sink in,
You could be my Heroine,
You could be my Heaven.::
--Punk Rock Princess by Something Corporate
Chapter Eight:
***Punk Rock Princess***
Almost two hundred fliers had been stapled around Manhattan. If Joey hadn't been suffering from arthritis before, he definitely was by the time he got to the edge of the city. In his experience, it was best to put out fliers the day of the show, so people wouldn't forget and storeowners wouldn't rip them down.
To be honest, Joey just had to work off the energy banging on his drums couldn't get rid of. Malik had rushed up to his apartment that morning to collect Joey's drum set to take it down to the Tin Can.
The Egyptian had nearly fainted when Joey told him about the kiss. Like a bucket of cold water, though, the words "Kaiba's gonna be there tonight" brought Malik right back to life.
Okay, so to be completely honest, Joey was just trying to avoid Malik's wrath. He didn't even know what Malik was so upset about; he bolted before the other boy had the chance to tell him.
As far as Joey was concerned, he won that little argument.
He stuck another hot pink flier onto a telephone poll, regardless of the other fliers already there. He pulled the stapler out of his pocket—he worn baggy pants just for the occasion—and slammed it onto the wooden post.
He was about to do the next when he heard a noise. Not just any noise, a really, really familiar noise. Someone was getting mugged. Joey had no intentions of helping, since no one had ever helped him. Greedy, but fair. He peeked down the alley and froze.
Owlish purple eyes were widened in fear, and multi-colored hair flailed wildly. Pinned to the wall by two lanky, loud gangsters was none other than Yugi Mouto. What they lacked in size, they made up for with enthusiasm.
None of them had spotted Joey yet.
It wasn't like he wanted to help. Quite the opposite. But those damn purple eyes were so entrancing, even when they weren't fixed on him.
Joey sighed. He really hoped he wouldn't regret what he was about to do. "Hey, punks!" When he saw he had their attention, he yelled, "Leave the midget alone! He's mine!"
One of the boys snarled at him, and flashed a knife. "Oh? I didn't see your name on him."
His lips pulled back into a smirk. "Yeah, well, I don't think I introduced myself." To the other boy's confusion, he stuck out his hand politely. "My name is Joey, and this is my stapler."
He slammed the metal object into the boy's greasy head. The kid slumped down, gripping his head and wailing pitifully. His companion looked at Joey like he was a psychopath. "The fuck, man?" He hoisted his friend off of the ground and pulled them away, walking carefully around Joey.
"Keep the pipsqueak! He ain't got any cash anyway!"
Joey grinned, and brushed imaginary dirt off of his shirt. "Well, that took care of that—WAH!"
A tiny little uniform clad body was attached to his leg. "AHHHH!"
He thought about hitting whatever the thing was with his stapler, until the train of "Thank-you's" reached his ears. Then those big purple owl-eyes were on him. Oh, weird.
"Err, Yugi, what a pleasant surprise." He jiggled his leg slightly, but the boy didn't budge, "on my leg."
"I was so afraid!"
When the smallish boy took the time to detach himself from Joey's leg, Joey realized the boy wasn't quite as small as he'd thought. His spiky head nearly reached Joey's chest, which really got Joey wondering just how Yugi had managed to fit on his leg.
Oh, well. He shrugged, and grinned modestly down at the preppy boy. "Eh, no problem. You just gotta stand up for yourself once in a while."
"It's kind of hard, considering how small I am," Yugi huffed. He looked up at Joey and smiled. Unlike his grandfather, Yugi was actually cute. Not cute in a dating sort of way, just cute in an 'I-want-hug-you' kind of way. Damn. Joey could feel his tough guy act crumbling.
"Nah, I've seen smaller. What you need is something like a Chihuahua to get your self-esteem up." When Yugi blinked those eyes in confusion, Joey added, "You know, something nice and small, but fear-invoking."
Yugi made a hmm-ing noise in the back of his neck. "A Chihuahua as opposed to...?"
"A miniature poodle."
"I think poodles are kind of cute."
"They're the international sign for sissiness."
Yugi smiled cutely. "Oh. I didn't know that." He looked at his watch and squealed. "Oh no, Tea's waiting at the arcade!"
The small body darted past Joey, only stopping at the entrance of the alley to cry, "Thanks again, Joey!"
Joey waved. Damn that boy and his cuteness! Joey went back to stapling fliers around, trying to ignore the feeling in his stomach. That weird feeling something like pride knowing he had done something nice.
Even if it was for a miniature prep who could have just paid the bullies away.
Oh, well.
*******
"What are you so smiley about?"
Joey jumped. He hadn't heard anyone walk in. His eyes came into focus, only to find Malik standing a few feet away from him. "Uh...I saved someone's life."
Malik stared at him blankly. "Man...I thought we agreed no more drugs? They ruin your brain." He tapped Joey's head to emphasize his point.
"Stop that!" He slapped the tanned fingers away from his face. "I hate it when you poke."
"But I like poking," Malik whined pitifully.
They were alone in Joey's apartment, in the blonde's room. Malik had cleaned after Joey left, which got rid of any anger towards Joey. Honestly! The other boy had to go and invite Kaiba to their show! It was so...Well, Malik couldn't think of why it made him so mad...but when he thought of a reason, he was sure it would be a good one!
The Egyptian boy draped himself on Joey's lap, grinning when the other boy groaned. "Shit, man, you eat too many tofu-burgers. You're heavy!"
A gold-clad wrist collided with Joey's cheek. "AM NOT!" Malik trailed a finger down his belly. "Look at this fatless skin...mm. I'm hot."
Joey snorted. "Fucking narcissist!"
Shocked lilac eyes stared up at Joey. "Where in the hell did you learn a big word like that?"
"Seto taught me," Joey stated matter-of-factly. "I swear, I've learned more from him than my entire time at school."
Pfft. "Yeah," Malik muttered, "I'd learn well too if I were sleeping with the teacher. OW!" He rubbed his head and scowled up at Joey from his spot on the floor. "I was only kidding!"
"Oh I know. I was just practicing pushing you off in case you weren't."
Malik glared. "I hate you."
"I love you too."
Joey laughed. He was glad Malik had come by, especially since he wasn't screaming anymore. His room looked so empty without his drums around, and he took the time to realize how much he had been ignoring them since his tutoring began. They'd have to talk about that.
Which brought him to his real crisis; he wasn't even sure if Kaiba was going to show up. Insecurity was eating away at him. What if Seto was just going to sit around in his mansion all night? After all, why would he waste time going to see some poor kid play at what some considered a trashy club? Seto could afford better than Joey. And that didn't seem fair.
"Hey there, brown-eyes, what's with the waterworks?"
"I'm not crying!"
"Then you must be drooling out of your eyes."
Joey knuckled the tears from his eyes roughly. He wasn't getting all mopey over Kaiba! "Okay, so maybe I was getting a little emotional."
"Over your boyfriend?" Oh, of all the...He was going through an emotional crisis, and Malik was making fun of him. Hell, he never made fun of Malik's girly boyfriend! Some best friend he was.
Still... "He's not my boyfriend," Joey admitted hesitantly. "As far as I know, our tongues are dating, and that's it."
Sympathy laced Malik's features, but amusement laced his voice. "I feel like I should make some sort of tonsil hockey joke." At Joey's glare, he rushed to say, "but since I'm your bestest of best friends, I'll help you."
"And how are you going to do that?" Malik turned innocent lavender eyes to Joey. Joey sighed. "I hate that look."
Malik smiled cutely. "I know. Okay, hang on while I go get some paper and a pencil." He ran out of the room, returning seconds later with a pen and an old piece of paper. Joey recognized it as one of his old C- tests he'd hung on the fridge. "Okay! Now, I want you to write down ten good things about Kaiba. Take your time. I'm going to take a shower."
Joey took the paper, but frowned. "Wait? Another shower? You took one this morning, and I know because you smell like my shampoo, and there was no hot water. I should kick your ass!"
"Yeah...You should, but you won't. To the shower I go!"
"It's gonna be a cold one!"
Malik laughed. "Which is why I'm going back to my apartment." He sauntered to the door, and turned back with a smug look on his face. "When I get back, I want ten good things about Kaiba." In a lower voice he said, "I can't think of a single fucking thing!"
Joey did the only thing he could think of: he pulled of his shoe and chucked it at the blonde's head. He silently thanked Noa for the idea when Malik cried out in pain. One he heard the front door slam, Joey set to writing.
TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SETOOne. Those blue eyes. I see enough purple eyes and green eyes and brown eyes every day, but his eyes are just...they stand out. And not in a buggy way, either.
Two. When other people talk to him, he doesn't listen. When I talk to him, I feel like he's actually listening, and he actually takes the time to answer me. Even though he is a smartass. It's hot on him though.
Three. Sex on a stick. That's my Seto. He dresses like a total prep, but everything hugs his body in just the right places. He's like a fucking model, right out of some fashion thing. Whatever preps read for fashion tips.
Four. He's an older brother too. Nuff 'nough said.
Five. He's really smart. Not rub-it-in-your-face smart, but ass-kicking smart. Like, you can be trying to think of something, and he'll know. He's got a fucking encyclopedia ironed inside of his brain.
Six. He's got a sense of humor. Not a once in a blue moon sense of humor, either. A really dry, sarcastic sense of humor. It helps that he's so fucking smart. It makes it that much funnier.
Seven. He doesn't make fun of my poorness...uh, is that a word? I'll have to ask him. Still, he doesn't talk about being rich. Usually I make up the jokes about shit like that. I guess that makes him considerate...or uninterested.
Eight. There this thing he does when he reads out loud. He licks his lips like every other word, and his voice it's all...well, I don't think I'd like him as much if his voice didn't change yet. Completely hot. Like the rest of him.
Nine. Most people make the unemotional thing annoying, but its hot as hell on him.
Ten. He's so sweet…YEAH RIGHT! SETO KAIBA IS THE BEST KISSER IN THE WORLD! He does this thing with his tongue, and its like...wow. Yeah. Okay.
Hmm. Joey tapped the pen on his chin. That seemed right. Embarrassingly enough, he couldn't really think of so many things. His list was perfectly good enough, though! The whole point of he and Kaiba kissing was to get to know each other better.
Now there was incentive so strive to get to know each other better.
Oh, he couldn't wait for Malik to read it.
"Hey Blondie!"
Just in time, Joey thought giddily. And as the footsteps led back to his room, he began to think. And suddenly, he didn't want Malik to see his list, to know what he'd written. What would the other boy knowing about his feelings do to help Joey? Nothing he could think of.
Before Malik could see the action, Joey balled up the paper and shoved it into his jacket pocket. He shifted, trying to hide the big lump, and when he was happy enough with it, he smiled innocently.
Malik sauntered into the room, dressed in a tight black tank top that said "Drama Queen" in neon pink letters, and skintight leather pants. Kohl lined his eyes, and his hair was poofy and straight from underneath the hair dryer. A good 60% of his bronzed skin was covered in gold jewelry. Surprise, surprise. "Hey lover boy, you finish that list?"
"Nah, I trashed it. Couldn't think of anything."
"Bummer. I really wanted to read it. Oh well." He glanced at his watch, a gold Timex that dangled amongst the rest of his jewelry. "Let's go do some test songs. Oh, and change first, will you?"
Joey looked down at his outfit. "What's wrong with it?"
"No sexy drummer from Blonde's are Better is dressing like that!"
"Yeah? Where you gonna get another drummer in three hours?"
"I happen to know several prostitutes who want to be drummers."
Joey pouted. "Like hell you do."
A bit of confidence left Malik's face. "Sure I do!"
"Pfft. Little Egyptian liar!"
Malik huffed. "But I'm pretty!" he called weakly as Joey brushed past him.
*****
Mai cursed as she ran up the stairs of the apartment building. Heels were not made for stairs, she realized belatedly. It didn't much matter, though, she almost on the second floor anyway.
The way to Malik's apartment was etched into her memory. Third door on the left, the one with the gold numbers replaced with silly cardboard cutouts. Malik had a thing for gold, it seemed. And once he'd polished the scratched letters into blindability, he'd hung them in his room.
"Fucking weirdo," Mai muttered fondly.
She'd do some serious ass kicking if they'd left for the club without her, though. Damn boys, thinking it was alright to just leave her behind. They did it every time, after all.
A few bangs to the door rewarded Mai with the sound of footsteps. It wasn't Malik behind the door, though.
"Hey, Isis..." Had she been more prepared, she could have whipped out a pick-up line. Damn.
The older woman didn't really notice the lacking greeting. She enveloped Mai in a warm hug, laughing when Mai let out a pretended to suffocate. "Mai! How are you?"
Mai's response was drowned out by Isis' stern, "And tell the truth."
Mai tried not to act too disappointed when Isis let go. "I'm...a lot better."
"I hope so," Isis said skeptically.
"What's with all the drama filling up the room? Get me some water or something. Be a good hostess."
Isis snorted. "Yes, your highness."
"Hey, I like that."
"Surprise, surprise. Hey, we've got coke, beer, and orange juice."
"Beer."
There was a momentary clutter in the kitchen, and Isis returned with a glass of orange juice and a bottle of beer. She handed Mai the orange juice.
"Thanks a lot," she muttered.
"You're very welcome." Isis uncapped her beer and took a sip. "So, I'm taking you to the Tin Can tonight."
"Uh, was that a question?"
"It was a question in the form of a statement."
Mai paused, then said, "How very Egyptian."
"I do what I can."
There was a slight pause, in which Mai took the time to actually realize what Isis had told her. Needless to say, she wasn't pleased. "God damned bastards!" She set her orange juice on the table to make her dramatic hand motions easier. "Always leaving me behind! I bet they're ashamed of me." In a sarcastic voice, she added, "Bassists aren't as important as the rest of the band."
Isis smiled softly. "Actually, I told them to go on ahead. I wanted us to go together."
"Oh...you're sure they didn't bug you into taking me?"
"Nope. All my idea. One of my best ever."
Mai blinked a few times. Isis looked normal, but she could have had any number of beers before Mai showed up! "Are you flirting with me?"
Blue eyes widened for a minute, before a wide grin broke out on Isis' lips. "Is the pope Catholic?"
Mai stood for a moment, in a daze, before she busted out laughing.
*****
"Is he out there?"
Malik pulled his head back from around the curtain, lavender eyes glaring. "He wasn't there twenty seconds ago when you asked!"
"Oh." Joey checked his watch—for the fourth time in five minutes—and pouted. "He's not coming."
With an exasperated sigh, Malik replied, "Joey, it's only nine. You told him ten. Why should he even be here?"
Childishly, Joey explained. "Well, he's my almost boyfriend, and he should be all stalkerish and show up uber-early just to show me how obsessed with me he is."
"What are you, twelve?"
Joey grinned. "It's the alcohol." And it was. Already, he'd convinced Keith to slip him a few beers. He wasn't drunk, though. Just buzzing, and happily so. It gave him the energy he needed to play the drums almost nonstop for two hours. He'd never been a gig so long. At least, not sober.
"What say at eleven, we get completely shitfaced and pulled a backwards gig?" Malik could feel himself imitating Joey's grin. What? He was allowed to have a few beers too! Sometimes it took a little persuasion to get Keith to be giving.
And when Malik and persuasion were in the same room, it was all about sex appeal. Just because Bonz shared the bed didn't mean Keith was blind.
Malik was gorgeous and he knew it. "So, is that dopey smile a yes?"
Joey kicked him. "Damn straight. Backwards gig and beer."
Backwards gigs were Joey's favorite. Mai, Joey, and Malik would get as drunk as possible, then switch off instruments. Mai on drums, Malik on bass, and Joey at the mic.
When they were drunk, it didn't seem to matter that Joey sang like a dog in heat.
"Hope your sugar-daddy shows up!" Malik said glibly. He yelped a boot-clad foot connected with his leg once more. "I wish you'd stop that."
Joey snorted. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette and his liter, and lit up. He inhaled deeply before asking the whereabouts of Mai. "You think her and Isis have gotten it on yet?"
"Oh, gross!"
Joey began laughing, only to stop short when he heard his name being called. He inhaled deeply again; he knew that voice.
"Joey! Hey, Joey!"
Malik looked around, startled. After a minute of perplexed glances around the backstage area, he finally found the owner of the voice.
And promptly began choking on his beer. A small, Koala-ish boy was clinging to Joey's leg in a hug.
"Yugi...hi," Joey laughed nervously. "What are you doing here? Not exactly your crowd..."
Yugi's eyes darted around the stage. With a pink blush on his cheeks, he shrugged bashfully. "I was going home when I saw one of your fliers." He held up a crumpled piece of paper. "It took me a minute to recognize you, but when I did, I was so surprised."
Joey smiled. For some reason, the kid's cuteness just got to him. "Which leaves me wondering why you're here."
The small boy offered a giant smile. "I wanted to thank you. So, I brought you a present."
"What kind of present?" Joey asked suspiciously.
"Look out at the bar."
Warily, Joey reached for the curtain and pulled it back. When he looked back to the bar, his eyes nearly popped out of his head. Sitting primly and chatting was Tea Gardner. Nothing special about her, except the brunette sitting beside her.
Serenity looked up with a sweet smile. Spotting Joey, she yelled, "Hi, big brother!"
A few of the drinkers laughed. Joey flicked them off and ran offstage and into the arms of his little sister. "What are you doing here? Mom will kill you if she finds out."
Serenity blushed. "Well, I'm spending the night with Tea. Her parents think we're at Yugi's, so we're here. It was Yugi's idea."
"Oh, so he's turning my baby sister into a bad girl," he growled playfully.
"Joey, stop," Serenity whined, still blushing. "This is the only time! I've never gotten to see you play, but I've heard how good you are."
It was Joey's turn to blush. "Who told you that?"
"Well you did, for one." At Joey's embarrassed cough, she said, "Oh, and Duke Devlin."
"Someone called for me," a new voice interrupted smoothly.
It wasn't fair to say Joey hated Duke, but it was fair to say he wanted to hate Duke. The annoyingly beautiful young man was always so perfect, and rivaled Seto when it came to money.
Not looks, though, Joey thought smugly. Seto was way hotter than Duke could ever hope to be. With that in mind, Joey turned to the dark-haired boy.
As usual, he was dressed impeccably. "Wheeler. Hello." A neatly manicured hand reached out to shake Joey's. There was an awkward silence for a moment.
"Are you here with Serenity?"
Duke flinched. He didn't want to feel the wrath of Joey! "Yeah. Just as friends, though."
Joey frowned skeptically, but suddenly brightened up. "Shit, I'm so glad you're here, sis!" He sucked on his cigarette for a minute. "I meant to say shoot. Don't wanna hear shit like that coming from your mouth."
Serenity began giggling, followed by Tea. Yugi was laughing as well. Joey was weirded out to see that even Duke was smirking. Between giggles, Serenity asked, "Are you drunk?"
For some reason, the thought that his little sister thought he was drunk relieved him. As long as he didn't have something on his face. "No."
"Okay!"
Joey was about to retort when Tea gasped. "Oh my gawd! What is Seto Kaiba doing here?"
So busy trying to find Seto in the crowd, Joey didn't notice Serenity elbowing Tea lightly. "They hate each other," she whispered.
The whole room fell away as blue eyes met brown. Somewhere, Joey could hear Malik calling his name. Probably to tell Joey that Seto had arrived. If Joey weren't so caught up in staring at Seto, he would have rolled his eyes.
"Hi," Joey said softly.
"You seem surprised to see me," Seto leaned in to say. He felt rather then saw Joey's blush as he pressed his lips to the blonde's ear. "I'm a bit surprised as well."
With a huff, Joey turned away. He was embarrassed to notice that he was getting open-mouthed, wide-eyed stares. Oh well, he thought. No time like the present.
"So," he said loudly over his shoulder, "you weren't going to come?"
"Not a doubt in my mind. I'm simply surprised I wore this outfit."
"Me too. Black isn't your color," Joey teased. To Serenity, "Hey sis looks like Mai just got in. Time to start." He pressed a kiss to her cheek.
After a heated glance at Kaiba, Joey rushed back to the stage. In all of his tipsy haste, he didn't notice the piece of paper that had fallen out of his pocket.
*****
Okay, okay, ONE MORE CHAPTER
So I'm a bitch, what's new?
I hope this is enough to leave everyone content for a while. Sorry for the lack of update. I'm really bad with stuff like that. Sure, the first 7 chapter I do one every night, then I start lacking. Speaking of lacking, this story lacks conflict, which sort of upsets me. I'm sad to say I've got total long-term ADHD. Fuck a duck, as I like to say. Life's a bitch, and I'm bad at updating. I'm confusing myself horribly with this whole speech thing. So, uh...
Puppets are scary things. No, seriously. Now review.